The call came at 8:04 a.m.
Not to Mason's phone.
To everyone's.
Because the insurance department did not believe in subtlety.
The Conference Call of Doom
Mason sat at the long table, bald head gleaming under fluorescent lights, phone on speaker.
Daniel sat beside him, already chewing stress gum.
Julian leaned against the wall, arms crossed.
Aria sat quietly at the end of the table, eating yogurt.
The voice on the line was calm.
Too calm.
"Director Mason," the insurance representative said,
"we have reviewed the incident footage."
Mason closed his eyes.
"…And?"
There was a pause.
Then—
"We would like to confirm that the individual who fell was, in fact, a human actress."
Daniel choked.
Julian coughed to hide a laugh.
Aria looked up.
"…Yes."
The voice hesitated.
"Miss Lane, for legal reasons, we must ask—
were you wearing any undisclosed safety equipment?"
Aria shook her head.
"No."
Another pause.
Longer this time.
"…Any hidden wires?"
"No."
"…Any trampolines?"
"No."
"…Any visual effects added afterward?"
"No."
The representative cleared their throat.
"…That is… concerning."
Insurance Logic vs. Reality
A second voice joined the call.
"Based on our models, survival probability was below one percent."
Daniel muttered:
"Still higher than Mason's hair survival rate."
Mason waved him quiet.
The first voice continued:
"Our concern is not that she fell."
Mason blinked.
"…Then what is it?"
"That she corrected."
Silence.
"That is not covered behavior," the voice added carefully.
Mason laughed.
"WHAT IS 'COVERED BEHAVIOR' ANYMORE?!"
The Words That Break Everything
The representative spoke again.
"We will need to reassess Miss Lane's classification."
Julian's eyes sharpened.
"…Classification?"
"Yes.
She cannot be insured as a standard actress."
Mason felt something cold settle in his stomach.
"What are you saying?"
There was a soft shuffle of papers.
"We are considering reclassifying her as—
a high-risk performer."
Daniel stared.
"A stunt performer?"
The voice paused.
"…No."
Another pause.
"…A special case."
Everyone looked at Aria.
She blinked.
"…Is that bad?"
Mason answered honestly.
"Yes."
The Numbers No One Likes
The second voice read off figures.
"Premiums would increase by—"
Mason slammed his hand on the table.
"HOW MUCH?"
The number came.
No one spoke for a full five seconds.
Daniel finally whispered:
"That's more than the movie's catering budget."
Julian murmured:
"By several factors."
Aria raised her hand slightly.
"…I can pay."
Everyone turned.
"No," Mason said immediately.
"No. Absolutely not."
She frowned.
"…Why?"
"Because that's not the problem," he replied.
"You are."
She accepted that calmly.
"…Understood."
The Insurance Department Panics Properly
The voice on the phone grew strained.
"Miss Lane, we need to know—
have you received specialized training?"
Aria hesitated.
Julian watched her closely.
Mason held his breath.
"…Yes," she said.
The silence on the call was deafening.
"In… what capacity?" the voice asked carefully.
Aria chose her words.
"…Survival."
Daniel groaned.
"OH NO."
The Decision
After a flurry of whispered discussion on the other end—
"We are suspending coverage on all high-altitude scenes pending review."
Mason exhaled sharply.
"Fine.
We'll rewrite."
Another pause.
"And," the voice added,
"we recommend limiting Miss Lane's physical activity."
Mason laughed.
That was the moment he lost them.
"I'll… put it in the suggestion box."
The call ended abruptly.
Aftermath in the Room
Silence lingered.
Daniel broke it.
"So.
We're uninsurable."
Julian corrected him.
"She is."
Aria looked between them.
"…I can be careful."
Mason stared at her.
"You fell from the sky and asked for snacks."
She nodded.
"Yes."
Mason rubbed his bald head.
"I don't know how to insure that."
The Quiet Understanding
Julian spoke softly.
"They're scared because they can't model you."
Aria considered this.
"…They should not rely only on models."
Daniel laughed weakly.
"She's criticizing the insurance industry now."
Closing Beat
Mason stood, exhausted.
"Okay.
Meeting adjourned."
He looked at Aria.
"We'll figure it out."
She nodded.
"…Thank you."
As they left the room, Daniel muttered:
"She broke gravity, the internet, and now insurance."
Julian smiled faintly.
"That's a trifecta."
Aria finished her yogurt.
"…Do we still have lunch?"
Somewhere in a glass office far away, an insurance analyst stared at the footage again—
And quietly updated their resume.