Director Mason had reached enlightenment.
Not the peaceful kind.
The hollow, broken kind.
He stared at the strawberry-print snack bag in Aria's hands, then at the empty space where the chicken leg should have been, and finally at the forty people standing around him like NPCs in a cursed quest.
His voice trembled.
"…You're telling me…
after TWO investigations…
ONE wrongful accusation…
ONE intern confession…
ONE stunt trainee breakdown…"
He inhaled sharply.
"…the chicken leg is still missing?"
Aria nodded calmly.
"Yes."
Mason snapped.
Mason's Legendary Breakdown
"This.
IS.
NOT.
A.
FOOD.
DOCUMENTARY!!!"
His shout echoed off the warehouse walls.
A pigeon outside took flight in fear.
Mason jabbed a finger at Aria.
"This is an ACTION MOVIE!
WITH GUNS!
WITH EXPLOSIONS!
WITH—WITH—PLOT!!"
Daniel whispered:
"Chicken is the plot now."
Mason whirled on him.
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT."
The Crew Tries to Move On (Fails Miserably)
Lighting tech attempted diplomacy.
"Director, maybe we can just… replace the chicken leg?"
Aria turned her head slowly.
"…Replace?"
The lighting tech backed away.
"I mean—uh—metaphorically—"
Daniel slapped his forehead.
"YOU CAN'T REPLACE A STOLEN SNACK! THIS IS ABOUT PRINCIPLE!"
Julian leaned casually against a crate, watching the chaos with interest.
"So the leg itself is gone, but the bag returned intact."
Aria nodded.
"Yes."
Julian smiled.
"Which means someone did eat it."
The room went silent.
Too silent.
Mason whispered:
"…We're back to murder."
Aria States a Terrifying Truth
She spoke evenly.
"The chicken leg was eaten on-site."
Everyone stared.
Daniel squeaked:
"H-How do you know?"
Aria answered:
"There are no bones in the trash outside."
The janitor gasped.
"I TOOK THE TRASH OUT THIS MORNING—SHE'S RIGHT—"
Mason screamed:
"WHY DOES SHE KNOW THE STATE OF MY TRASH?!"
The Crew Starts Turning on Each Other
Sound guy:
"I didn't eat it!"
Makeup artist:
"I had a salad!"
Stunt guy:
"I only eat protein shakes!"
Elliot proudly:
"I eat explosions!"
Everyone:
"THAT DOESN'T COUNT, ELLIOT!"
Daniel whispered:
"It could still be the intern…"
The intern screamed:
"I SWEAR I DIDN'T EAT IT—IT WAS HONEY SOY—SHE SAID IT HERSELF!"
Aria nodded.
"That is correct."
The intern cried harder.
Julian Asks the Wrong Question
Julian tilted his head.
"Aria… when did you last see the chicken leg?"
She thought.
"…Before the explosion test."
Mason froze.
Daniel froze.
Elliot slowly raised his hands.
"…Oh."
Everyone turned toward Elliot.
Mason whispered:
"No.
No no no no no—"
Elliot swallowed.
"I might've… put it somewhere safe."
The room erupted.
Elliot Confesses (Sort Of)
"I didn't eat it!" Elliot insisted.
"I swear! I just—
She was about to walk through an explosion—
and the leg was sitting right there—
and I thought, 'fire hazard.'"
Mason screamed:
"HOW IS COOKED CHICKEN A FIRE HAZARD?!"
Elliot shrugged.
"Grease."
Daniel pointed.
"WHERE DID YOU PUT IT?!"
Elliot hesitated.
"…In the thermal container."
Silence.
Aria blinked.
"…Which thermal container?"
Elliot winced.
"The one near the test charges."
Mason's soul left his body.
The Horrifying Realization
Rick's eyes widened.
"That container was…
uh…
used."
Daniel screamed:
"USED HOW?!"
Elliot whispered:
"…We detonated it."
The warehouse went dead silent.
Someone dropped a pen.
Julian slowly covered his mouth to hide a laugh.
Mason collapsed to his knees.
"My movie…
my snacks…
my life…"
Aria Processes the Loss
She stood still.
Very still.
The calm before something.
Daniel whispered:
"She's going to explode."
Julian watched her closely.
Aria finally spoke.
"…The chicken leg has been vaporized."
Mason sobbed.
"Yes… yes it has…"
The Unexpected Reaction
Aria sighed.
A small, genuine sigh.
"…That is unfortunate."
Everyone stared.
That was it?
No vengeance?
No punishment?
No structural damage?
Daniel blinked.
"That's… all?"
Aria nodded.
"It was good chicken."
Julian smiled softly.
"I'm sorry."
Aria looked at him.
"…I will eat something else."
The entire set exhaled as one.
Mason wiped his tears.
"Thank god…"
Then Aria added calmly:
"…After filming."
Mason screamed again.
Final Line
Mason pointed at the crew, voice hoarse.
"If ANYONE brings food onto this set ever again—
I WILL DIRECT A SILENT FILM."
Daniel whispered:
"She'll still find snacks."
Julian nodded.
"She always does."
Aria adjusted her bag.
"…Yes."