Director Mason had survived many things in his career:
An actor who insisted every scene include wind machines "for drama."
A celebrity who refused to blink on camera "because blinking is for mortals."
A stuntman who once set the wrong object on fire.
But nothing—
absolutely nothing—
prepared him for the ongoing disaster known as Aria Lane.
And today…
He snapped.
The Breaking Point: A Very Small, Very Stupid Incident
It wasn't even dramatic.
It wasn't even dangerous.
It was the moment Mason saw Aria…
…open a soda can.
Not a weapon.
Not a prop.
Just a soda.
She opened it.
QUIETLY.
And yet Mason flinched so hard his headset fell off.
Daniel sighed,
"You're traumatized."
Mason pointed accusingly.
"SHE OPENED IT LIKE A GRENADE."
Aria blinked at him.
"It's a beverage."
Julian murmured,
"She didn't do anything."
Mason threw his hands into the air.
"SHE EXISTS, JULIAN! SHE EXISTS!"
Aria took a sip.
Mason made a strangled noise.
Later: Mason Retreats to His Office
He slammed the door shut.
Collapsed into his chair.
Buried his face in his hands.
Then he did something no director should ever do:
He opened his laptop.
And he Googled.
"Does stress cause baldness?"
Google, helpful and brutal, responded:
"YES."
Mason stared.
He typed again:
"What causes sudden hair loss?"
Answer:
"Stress, trauma, or emotional strain."
Mason inhaled sharply.
He leaned closer to the screen.
Typed again:
"Can one person cause all of these?"
Google:
"Yes."
Mason screamed.
Daniel Walks In at the Worst Moment
Daniel opened the office door.
"Director, we need you back on—"
He paused.
Saw Mason hunched over the laptop.
Saw the search screen.
"…Oh my god. Are you Googling baldness?"
Mason slammed the laptop shut.
"No."
Daniel opened it again.
"Director. This says 'hair falling out suddenly.' Are you okay?!"
Mason clutched his hair.
"I lost THREE strands today. THREE."
Daniel blinked.
"That's not that many."
"I counted, Daniel. I COUNT EVERY DAY."
Daniel shut the laptop.
"Director. Relax. Aria isn't trying to kill you."
Mason glared at him.
"SHE OUTRAN SECURITY."
"Well—yes."
"SHE STOLE MY DAUGHTER'S CANDY."
"…True."
"SHE KICKED A BAG INTO ORBIT."
"Also true."
"SHE TELEPORTED DURING A WALKING SCENE."
Daniel nodded sadly.
"Yes."
Mason pointed at the ceiling.
"AND YOU EXPECT ME TO RELAX?!"
The Hair Pull Test
Mason suddenly grabbed a chunk of his own hair.
Daniel screamed,
"DON'T DO THAT!!"
Mason yanked—
A hair fell.
He gasped.
"DANIEL.
DANIEL I'M LOSING HAIR."
Daniel grabbed the fallen hair off the desk.
"…Director, this is from your beard."
Mason froze.
"Oh."
Daniel exhaled in relief.
Mason collapsed into despair again.
"BUT STILL!"
Julian Walks In
Julian poked his head inside.
"Mason? We're ready for the next scene."
Mason pointed dramatically.
"YOU!"
Julian blinked.
"…Me?"
"You're too calm around her. Stop being calm. It encourages her."
Julian raised an eyebrow.
"She's doing very well."
"STOP SAYING NICE THINGS ABOUT HER!"
Julian smiled quietly.
"She saved your daughter. Remember that."
Mason deflated.
"Yes, yes, she did… But she also stole her candy!"
Aria suddenly appeared behind Julian.
Mason screamed.
"STOP APPEARING WITHOUT FOOTSTEPS!"
Aria blinked.
"I walked."
Julian smiled.
"See? She's fine."
Mason held up the fallen beard hair.
"No. No she is NOT fine. She is causing structural damage to my hairline!"
Aria examined the hair.
"…That is not head hair."
Mason burst into hysterical laughter.
Aria's Attempt at Comfort
Aria placed a hand on his desk.
"You should not worry."
Mason stared at her, trembling.
"Why not?"
Aria spoke calmly:
"Stress is inefficient."
Mason nearly fainted.
Daniel slapped his forehead.
"Aria… that doesn't help normal humans."
Julian patted Mason's shoulder sympathetically.
"She means well."
"I KNOW SHE MEANS WELL—THAT'S THE PROBLEM!"
The Final Blow
Aria added:
"If your hair falls out, I can help you shave the rest evenly."
Mason collapsed into his office chair.
Daniel gasped.
"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!"
Julian pressed his lips together to hide a laugh.
Aria blinked.
"…Professional grooming?"
Mason whimpered.
"I'm retiring."
Julian smiled.
"No you're not. We need you for the finale."
Mason sobbed harder.