That was just a normal day for Aefia. However, there were worser days.
The night before she entered the courthouse for the trial, Aefia stayed up the entire time, just staring at herself in the bathroom mirror. She wanted to strangle herself. She was a pawn who would be executed the very second her role as one was fulfilled. But that wasn't the reason she tried to break her own reflection on the mirror with her shoe.
It was because she was being fooled again and again. And she couldn't prevent it.
"Argh!"
In that memory, her room was echoing with the sounds of her frantic shouts. She told her reflection things.
"You are so dumb... You had to leave your family back on Earth just to ruin your life even more in this world!"
"You are so useless, Ms. Avry died because of you."
"You are so... Pathetic. The Empress of this Empire despises you for anything else except for your sacrifice."
But it didn't hurt her enough. What hurt her the most was—she didn't know what else to do now. It was that she would die because of her own caused problems. Afterall, she was just a teenager, living in another planet losing everything she had... Drastically.
The next day, she was running between thoughts of her reality and death. The law text she claimed she was reading was just a way to cover up for what was inside her mind. Meanwhile, Henry was the desperate anchor who was trying to keep her from sinking into her mind. But she didn't want that. She wanted to drown in an abyss and not wake up ever again.
Besides that, seeing the execution chamber changed her mind even more.
That very night, she took a risk. A very painful risk.
"It's the middle of the night, what do you need at this hour?" Cedric yawned while looking at Aefia. "Wait, haven't you slept even a little?"
He stared at the way her eyes were wide open, as she stared at the floor with an unblinking intensity. She looked like a statue who wasn't carved out of marble.
"I need a paracetamol." Aefia asked while lifting her gaze towards Cedric. Her voice was hoarse and exhausted. "My head's been hurting since the courthouse. And I had an argument with Lewis who found out my drugs."
With a hazy mind, Cedric pulled out two paracetamol tablets from his pocket. "I have some in me all the time. But they aren't really powerful." He let out another yawn while handing it to Aefia.
She took a look. Flipped it back and forth and stared at the tablet for quite sometime, before letting out a deep sigh. Her lungs rattled with the pressure.
"By the way. I should warn you." He started mumbling while coming to stand in front of Aefia. "If you have taken the sleeping pilps already, and you have also accidentally taken an extra dose—which of course is any more than two—aking two of these paracetamols will kill you. Not instantly, but you will turn weak and stay that way for just thirty minutes before you die. I am not forcing you, just—"
Aefia didn't hear any of it.
By the time Cedric had finished explaining, both of the paracetamol pockets were empty. He turned his gaze to her direction, who was already coughing violently and clenching her collar.
The sensation was very painful. Her throat was burning, her lungs were on fire, her heart was slamming against her ribs violently. She was having difficulty breathing, yes...
However, the next two seconds, a numbness took over her senses. Time felt like it had frozen, and peaceful. For once, pain felt enjoyable. The world spinning off its axis as Aefia suddenly lost her balance and fell to the ground without a sense keeping her conscious.
That two seconds before the fever took over was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She was aware of the toxicity of the drugs she was taking at the same time, before Cedric even explained. That was why, she wanted paracetamol. And she knew very well he kept two on his person all the time. She also knew she might be a burden to Cedric right now, but when death was a priority right now—she didn't know anything else.
She made a promise when she saw Lewis hurt due to her words. That she will pay back for whatever she had said. A sister like her wasn't worth a brother like him. He was caring for her, and she totally sent him away.
She was also aware, he had a terminal illness. She knew a lot of things about this palace, but she didn't show signs of knowing it.
However, now she didn't need to be aware of them anymore. Because if she died right there within the next twenty-nine minutes, all those brain and plans won't come to any use at all.
Now although there wasn't truely a way for her to recover from this drug-induced, slow death—Cedric knew a way to extract the two drugs at once. Activated charcoal or Naloxane for opioids.
And yes, Aefia had a variety of opioids with her all the time. It was only reasonable for someone like her to carry it on her person wherever she went. It was the best painkiller she could find around her, that could drag her out of reality.
Added to it, he knew too well where Aefia kept the things she used him to secretly buy. It was because of that, she lived to suffer another day.
The same another day, she was beaten up even more brutally then usual. Temporarily losing her vision, a terrifying pain at her head. However, she still didn't stop trying to cover up her bruises or stop taking her drugs. It was, somewhat an addiction for her.
*
Aefia stayed sat up at the grass. Those memories finding their way back into her mind like a roller coaster she couldn't get off. Even if she was used to those memories, this time, it felt like she was doing it all over again. Like she was back at the palace.
Finally, she titled her chin up in the air and let out a deep sigh, trying to blow out her panic and frustruations. However, even when she tried again and again, it wasn't clearing from her lungs. Her organs compressed onto themselves and wasn't unfolding even as she tried desperately to catch her breathe. Depression was a type of illness that even if you knew you had it, you couldn't do anything to prevent it. Not only that, bipolar disorder patients didn't know what emotion they were feeling. And Aefia was a bipolar patient.
That was how it always was for her. But even when she was no longer back there, it still felt suffocating.
As she stayed sitted crossed-legged on the ground, she took a moment to think for a certain something.
Was all that... Truly necessary if I wasn't the person I am today?
What if I had a different personality? Maybe like Nada?
What if I were an optimistic who could navigate her situation with positivity? Would it all have been necessary?
As she thought back to it, she realized it was actually a form of torture...
Recalling the memories...
When people wanted to know about other people's lives—was it truly necessary even if they knew it was hard for them to tell?
Aefia looked up at the ghost standing in front of her with a glare. She locked her eyes with the ghost as her jaw groaned from her teeth gritting together. She asked only one question.
"What was your point for that?"
The ghost found herself in thoughts too. Mostly asking why the girl would do something like that but not speak about it to others for comfort.
"I didn't do that to myself—whatever you did or force yourself—"
"That's because we are two different people who have no clue about their own lives!" Aefia shouted while standing on her knees. Her eyes swimming with unshed tears she still tried to avoid from dropping. She was still grimacing from the pain, mentally and physically. "I clearly didn't consent to it! Do you people not have any sort of remorse?!"
"Some of us do... But—"
"Just because you are curious, doesn't mean you can't wait for the person to overcome it first and then talk about it! Even a mere child would understand a no!"
Aefia sunk back to the grass, sobbing onto her hands as she bent forward. Her forehead was inches away from the ground. Her throat felt tight, knowing too well it wasn't right for the woman to start speaking. There are certain memories some people didn't want to recall, and they are all for good reasons why the person chose it.
And it wasn't like Aefia was at the therapist who could concile her about this.
For her age, she was still at a risk for being paranoid with her past trauma. Now that the damage was done, there was no saying what happens next.
"I need a break." She stood up, faced away from the ghost.
"Look. I am sorry." The ghost tried her best too.
"It's alright. I will talk to you later."
She may have said that, but she was probably just trying to walk away from this situation for as long as it takes to heal herself back up again. When she came alive, she made herself a long list of vows. And one of them was to fix herself.
"If you want to send me away... You can do me one favour." The ghost interrupted as Aefia wiped her eyes and turned around, captivated by the sudden idea.
"Name it."
"You can fetch me a mermaid jewel. It is a bit dangerous to get, but the exact name of the jewel is, 'The Orb of Life'. I know you can easily research about it, so I will stay quiet from here for your sake."
The Orb of Life... And a mermaid's jewel. So it is an artifact. And to get it is also going to be hard since it must be very safely guarded.
"I can handle it. Don't worry." Aefia nodded while looking away. Then, a heavy silence fell between them. As if a misunderstanding has just been lifted—but it is not that easy.
***
The door to the palace felt different now. Cedric let out a deep breathe as he carried his brother towards the entrance. The guards didn't need to quesiton anything—they just couldn't. As the first guard went to alert the King and Queen, the burden started to feel more and more heavy just like how Aefia had said not so long ago.
It was because the betrayal was already messing with his feelings of familarity. Let alone, seeing his brother already in need to send him away and execute his friend, it was hard to take in.
As the Queen stepped out, she was dazed at the sight of the scene unfolding in front of her. Like any other mother, she was joyous to see her son return after a decade. She ran down the stairs and hugged Cedric tightly.
"You have grown so much... Its been so many years..." She spoke with her eyes filling with unshed tears and a bright smile unfolding at her face.
If it were Aefia, won't she have said it is common for all mothers to say this?... So why does it feel like I have returned to safe hands all of a sudden?
He too smiled and hung his forehead to his mother's shoulder. "It's been a decade to be honest. How are you doing... mother?"
But as if to ruin the moment, his brother at his back started to jolt around, until he lifted his head from his youngest brother's shoulder.
"Huh? Mother!"
He whimpered like a child as he ruffled his own hair. "A tree fell on my head! Look at this large injury!"
Hey! What is this side of you that you are showing to her—that you didn't even hint at us?!
Cedric could only think bitter for his elder sibling as a guard helped him down. Finally free of backpain!
"So... What happened that day?" His mother asked with concern at her voice. Her voice was soothing to his ears and he wished he could tell her everything—however—Aefia's warning stayed attached to his mind carefully.
"If you get swayed emotionally, you might get overstimulated and spill the truth before the designated time. You know why you can't open your mouth until before the final phase... If you want your revenge, you have to learn to say your words at the right time."
He looked deep into his mother's golden eyes, and forged a smile that seemed more stable then his need to cry on her lap and speak about the betrayal.
"Well, a servant... Lured me out—using the guise of delicacies—out of the palace and sent me away to the Smod Empire. But don't worry, I was at good hands." Cedric spoke his half-truth. It is also like Aefia said, because it makes the lie more believable.
The queen looked troubled for a second, frowning as she tilted her head slightly.
"The Smod Empire has been causing your father quite the problem. But if you were in good hands then... I bet some people in this world still have a good heart. I am expecting an elderly."
Cedric choked his laugh back for a second. His comedic mind already creating a scenario.
I can imagine Aefia with a walking stick and her wise talks about luring people around and out of your way. Well she is very wise for her age.
"No, she isn't an elderly. Actually... one year younger than me." Cedric answered while smiling. She didn't say any rules of not to introduce her to my family. So it should count, right?
"So its a she?" His mother folded her arms in front of her. "Which family is she from? At least we can reward her." A smirk fell on the Queen's face.
Okay, I messed up.
"Well... I will leave the guessing to you." He interrupted with a sweaty brow. "But don't put too much mind into this. I will help you meet her sooner or later. Firstly, I am tired." He cut his side out of the conversation—just for the time being. It's not like she doesn't need to meet them sooner or later. If she doesn't will it, I will force it.
"I know who that 'she' is!" His elder brother shouted with a drunk tone from quite far away.
Shit!
The queen turned to face her eldest son. "Who is it?"
"She's from the Imperial family. Her Imperial Highness Princess Aefia Seraphina Smod!" He blankly spouted out. "She is quite the looker, I would say..."
Cedric bit his tongue. Now what?!