Philip was sitting in a chair that definitely hadn't existed five minutes ago. In front of him, an ethereal screen floated in midair, filled with runes and lines of code glowing gold.
"So… this is the system panel?" he asked, leaning forward. "Looks like an Excel spreadsheet made by a wizard with ADHD."
Seravion, standing beside him, kept his usual serene expression."Each line represents a world, and each world contains a set of parameters: vital energy, narrative stability, divine interference rate…"
"Rate of what?" Philip interrupted. "Is this a universe or a celestial audit?"
"Both," the angel replied calmly. "And that is precisely why you're here."
Philip crossed his arms."Oh no, here it comes. What's the poor bastard gotta do this time?"
Seravion blinked, unbothered."Actually, you're being sent to one of the test worlds."
"What?!"
"A world of interactive narrative. Classification: romance."
Philip's eyes widened.
Seravion stood immaculate while Philip began pacing back and forth, utterly horrified."Romance… NO! I REFUSE!" he practically shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the angel. "I read one of those once—once!—and never again, my man! I've never seen so many stupid people concentrated in two hundred pages! Half the plot was people misunderstanding each other, the other half was fainting from emotion, and by the end the protagonists felt more like villains than anything else! I still have trauma from it!"
Seravion watched him with the kind of serenity only a divine being with centuries of patience could have."And yet, it is the most stable type of narrative for testing."
"Stable?!" Philip laughed, incredulous. "Stable chaos, you mean? Because what I remember was ditzy heroines, a protagonist dumber than a rock, and—ugh, I don't even want to talk about it."
"The structure is predictable, which facilitates narrative energy control," the angel explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the universe.
Philip clutched his head in despair."No, no, no… I died, became a technician for a glitched universe, and now I'm going to be a side character in a fanfic! This is cliché hell, Seravion! I can already hear the violins playing while she runs in the rain!"
Seravion calmly typed something in the air, treating Philip's meltdown like background noise."Excellent. I see you already understand the emotional tone of the genre. You'll adapt well."
"Adapt well?!" Philip pointed at himself, outraged. "Are you insulting me right now?"
Seravion only smiled faintly.
Philip sighed, defeated."I should've become a ghost. Ghosts don't have to deal with love triangles."
Seravion opened a golden portal with the same calmness one uses to open a file."Destination world selected. Prepare yourself, Mr. Hartwell."
"PREPARE YOURSELF MY ASS, WAIT—CALM DOWN!" Philip nearly stumbled backward, pointing furiously at the angel. "It's not going down like that! You're not gonna pull the same stunt as those systems in novels that drop the protagonist in the middle of nowhere with no tutorial and only explain things once he's already accidentally married! I'm going there for work, my man Seravion! Work! So you need to tell me the story of the damn novel, what went wrong, who I'm supposed to help!"
Seravion just watched him, serene — as if listening to a hymn rather than a human on the verge of hysteria.
Philip kept going, breathless:"We need to see what character I'm gonna be, my role has to be useful to the person I'm supposed to support! Damn it, Seravion, do I have to handle everything myself now?!" He pointed at his own chest, offended. "I'm the employee, the strategic planner, the tech guy, the HR department! Is this heaven or a divine outsourcing company?!"
A silence hung for two long, infuriatingly calm seconds. Then Seravion spoke with the tranquil authority of someone declaring a prophecy:"Mr. Hartwell, I understand your concern."
"Great, then—"
"But do not worry," the angel continued, ignoring the interruption. "The system has already chosen everything for you."
Philip blinked, stunned."Come again?"
Seravion made a small gesture with his hand, and several luminous screens appeared in the air — filled with floating text, hearts, names, and a glowing counter that read:'Romantic Tension: 89%.'