Facing a threat to its life at close range, the Sorting Hat cast a pitiful, pleading look toward Professor McGonagall.
In all its thousands of years performing the Sorting Ceremony, this was the first time it had encountered such a situation.
Professor McGonagall silently averted her gaze from the Sorting Hat. Instead, she looked toward Dumbledore. If the Headmaster hadn't spoken up, this was a matter she couldn't handle either.
Albus "Heart-So-Weary" Dumbledore shook his head helplessly.
Forget it. As long as Kyle doesn't go to Slytherin to corrupt minds there, just let him be.
Dumbledore opened his mouth without making a sound, his voice transmitting directly to the Sorting Hat's "ears" via magic.
Having received Dumbledore's instruction, the Sorting Hat breathed a sigh of relief and announced loudly:
"HUFFLEPUFF!"
The Hufflepuff long table erupted with deafening cheers and applause. Little Hannah clapped so vigorously that her hands turned bright red.
Kyle tried his best not to look at Dumbledore's old face, which was practically emitting a dark aura. He ran with light footsteps to the Hufflepuff table and sat down next to Hannah.
After Kyle, the Sorting Ceremony continued in an orderly fashion, with no further chaotic incidents arising.
However, Kyle's actions just now had been simply too earth-shattering. As a result, the legendary Savior, the famous Boy Who Lived, Harry Potter, received far less attention during his sorting than he otherwise might have compared to Kyle.
With the sorting of the final student, Blaise Zabini, into Slytherin, Professor McGonagall rolled up her scroll and took the Sorting Hat away.
Albus Dumbledore stood up. He beamed at the students—though, of course, that smile vanished the moment his gaze swept over the Hufflepuff table.
Dumbledore opened his arms wide to the students. "Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!"
Dumbledore sat back down. Although the students didn't understand what he was saying, that didn't stop them from clapping and cheering.
In an instant, the empty dishes in front of everyone were piled high with all kinds of delicious food.
Kyle leisurely cut into the steak on his plate, then looked up and grinned at the person across the table. "Ced, didn't expect that, did you?"
Across the table, Cedric nodded with a beaming smile. "To dare threaten the Sorting Hat like that... you're the first in Hogwarts history."
Cedric lowered his voice and leaned his head conspiratorially toward Kyle. "Shouldn't we celebrate properly tonight?"
Kyle's eyes lit up, and he likewise lowered his voice. "You have booze?"
His own stash had been confiscated by Dumbledore earlier. Later, under Grindelwald's supervision, the most he could drink was a bit of Butterbeer.
As for chugging Vodka like before—glug glug glug—don't even think about it.
"Bought it at the Leaky Cauldron before school started," Cedric smiled proudly.
Beside them, the little blonde girl, who had heard every word of the two troublemakers' conversation, raised her eyebrows sharply. "Didn't you say back then that you were buying it for Mr. Diggory!?"
Cedric's face stiffened. It's over, I've been exposed. He had momentarily forgotten about the future proprietress of the Leaky Cauldron sitting right there.
When Cedric bought the alcohol from Tom, the landlord of the Leaky Cauldron, little Hannah—Tom's relative—had been present.
Kyle reached out and rubbed Hannah's small head. "Kids shouldn't worry about adult matters."
Hannah grumpily swatted Kyle's hand away. "I am not a child! Aren't you only eleven too?!"
"I just remembered, I celebrated my eleventh birthday just last month," Kyle shrugged. "So I'm twelve now."
Hannah huffed and turned her head away, determining to ignore these two drunkards.
"Speaking of which, where did you run off to for the last two months?" Cedric asked curiously.
"Got dragged to France by my old man. Lived in a castle in the Alps for two months. It felt pretty nice, actually, though the castle was so big it felt a bit deserted."
The atmosphere gradually became filled with humblebragging.
Hannah looked at Kyle in disbelief. Only now did she realize just how wealthy her classmate was.
"You filthy rich tycoon!" Cedric, feeling the sting of the humblebrag, said fiercely. "From now on, Young Master Dumbledore pays for everything in Hogsmeade!"
"I refuse!" Kyle took a small sip of pumpkin juice. "I may be a rich tycoon, but I'm no sucker."
Meanwhile, over at the Gryffindor table, the Golden Trio from the original books had also met up.
Plus one Neville Longbottom.
He was currently describing to Harry and Ron how Kyle had taken down Malfoy's trio in two or three moves.
"At that time, Kyle went in with a left front kick, a right roundhouse, followed by a left jab, and just knocked the Malfoy trio flat!"
The chubby Neville gestured wildly as he boasted to Ron.
Ron listened with eyes shining. "If only I had moves that good!"
Harry also cast a curious look toward the direction of Hufflepuff.
If he could fight three people at once, he wouldn't have been bullied so miserably by his cousin Dudley in the past.
Just then, a commotion broke out among the first years who were feasting in the Great Hall.
Kyle looked up toward the Gryffindor table. Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington—Nearly Headless Nick—was once again performing for the Gryffindor first years, showing them exactly how he was nearly headless.
Kyle quickly reached out to block Hannah's view. "Don't look, unless you want to lose your appetite."
As the food on the table continued to vanish into bottomless mouths, Kyle eventually began to feel full.
After the plates were wiped clean, the empty golden platters were instantly refilled with desserts.
Before long, the delicious desserts were also swept away by the students.
Professor Dumbledore stood up again. The Hall returned to silence.
"Ahern — just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you."
"First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well."
Dumbledore's twinkling eyes flashed in the direction of the Weasley twins.
"I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic should be used between classes in the corridors."
"Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch."
"And finally, I must tell you..."
Dumbledore's gaze locked onto a certain someone at the Hufflepuff table who had absolutely no self-awareness.
"...that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."
"And now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" Dumbledore cried.
The smiles on all the professors' faces froze.
Kyle and Cedric exchanged a grin, and each pulled out a strange, cone-shaped musical instrument.
Over at Gryffindor, the Weasley twins also took out bowed string instruments.
In the entire Hogwarts, perhaps only Cho Chang, who was from China, recognized the instruments in their hands.
That's right, these were the famous Suona and Erhu.
They had been rehearsing for this moment for a long time during the previous school year.
Penelope covered her ears in despair. It wasn't the first time she had heard the duet of these two rogue instruments.
A song to sever the intestines! Where in the world can one find a soulmate!
Dumbledore gave his wand a little flick, as if he was trying to get a fly off the end, and a long golden ribbon flew out of it, which rose high above the tables and twisted itself, snakelike, into words.
"Everyone pick their favorite tune," said Dumbledore. "Off we go!"
Kyle and Cedric abruptly blew into the Suonas in their hands.
Standing in front of the staff table, acting like a conductor, Dumbledore's hand that was waving his wand jerked violently the moment he heard the Suona blast.
Driven by the four rogue instruments, the tune of the entire school song inevitably, and gradually, synchronized with a certain coffin-carrying divine comedy: Astronomia.
For some reason, even though it was a very cheerful tune, when paired with the unique timbre of the Suona and Erhu, Dumbledore couldn't help but feel—
That in the next second, he was about to be sent to the Pure Land of the afterlife.
Was it just an illusion?
————
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