Chapter 47 - The spear of Divine judgement-2!

Well this morning I didn't think I would be swimming in a whirpool of someone's blood and surely there was no way that I could have even believed if anyone would have told me but now here I was swimming in this whirpool where even I was struggling to maintain to keep myself at single spot and prevent myself for losing my sanity and these dickhead spirits surely were squeezing my soul out and there was no way that I would have been able to even myself stable and such deepshits surely were making my head spin and the heat of these strange blood was burning my soul out but my bat was making sure to keep my eyes open despite everthing and soon traveling a little the tides of whirlpool started to change and started to become more intense and now I was not able to even feel my own body and somewhat I was feeling like I won't be able to make it because my entire body started to get more and more heavy and surely this was the sign that fatigue was surely catching up to my brain, now I was not even able to feel my own arms and legs, I can only feel my hand that was holding vardhan and even vardhan was bare keeping up with me and surely antak and others were also in the same condition because the toll of forcefully opening the door was surely draining them like hell and every moment was feeling like a eternity and despite that I was barely even came near to spear and my skin was torn to pieces because of it and my muscles were getting burned by this strange whirlpool and surely I was cursing myself for ever thinking about forcefully taking such a divine weapon but there's no way I was gonna leave such a spear behind, it could have become a great asset in upcoming war but as I was thinking about all these things, I started seeing my own reflections around my body and they were surely not looking pretty peaceful, as they were more like showing their pitties on me " Oh kid, you still are hanging in there, despite all the oportunities you got in your life, you are still looking this pathetic, just how much you think you have wasted them, your so called spirits are dying because of you and here you are, in greed of more and more you are in such a pathetic shape and still instead of feeling guilt, you are still thinking about ways to lift yourself up, just how much pathetic you can get, first due to your inablitiy to standup, you lost that family and then your own family. Your worthlessness just gets the best of you. No matter how much you struggle or how much you try to move forward, you still can't make yourself useful. You are the same crybaby who was just squirming in the car while his family members were slaughtered right before your own eyes, and even after that, you saw your parents getting tortured in front of you only, getting burned and screaming for help, while you squirmed on the ground and thought if someone could save you or just hoped for it to be a mere dream. You are still the same brat, struggling to make his life less worthless than it already is!" Surely hearing their words was pretty heartbreaking, and the most tragic part of all these words was that whatever they were saying was true, and I can't deny the fact that if I had been a bit stronger since childhood, then I wouldn't have lost the things that I lost with the flow of time—that family, my own family. Just being unable to save anybody, it surely was making me feel like trash, but at least I knew that I was trash, so I never gave a fuck about it all. but deep down I also believed those childish stories about how a hero appears for good guys and saves their shit, but in my life he never came; I waited for seconds and seconds converted to minutes and minutes to hours and hour to days and days were converted to months and months became year and went on passing but no one came to save me, after the death of my parents the first year was surely the year where I didn't knew what to do and just wait for it to solve itself on its own but every day surely just reminded me more and more about my losses and the increasing tension because of increase in my ability surely started to burn my other senses, I started to forget about hunger, thirst and desire to wake up because all I was to see was more creatures, the very similar creature who distroyed my life were just roaming around me like a gathering and surely it was feeling pretty nasty to see dead people roaming around you, even in your house you were not able to free yourself from it and the thirst of blood surely started to engulf me and soon after one year I started to kill every single bastard in my sight, no matter if that spirit was good or bad and then after few months of endless slaughter, I started to capture the spirts and there was no way that these motherfuckers could ever understand that feeling, these bastards were peacefully living inside of me while I was outside using drugs and slaughtering method to deal with my insanity, now when I brought myself out of that endless pit, these bastards got the nerve to talk shit about me. Well surely, just like always, I have to keep on moving forward. Backing down wasn't meant for people like me, so I took a deep breath and started to focus on Vardhan and started to use its energy to pull myself towards that spear. The intensity of suction was surely bone-breaking; the intensity of the whirlpool was surely burning my bones, and feeling such hot liquid around my bones surely was pretty threatening and nerve-wracking and pretty overwhelming. My screams started to cover the entire area of the whirlpool while these bastards were still trying to make me fall, but surely not this time!