Dear Diary
Why wasn't i enough for him? For everyone actually? Im trying i really really am. But everytime i still manage to find a way to mess my own life up. Maybe its the universe giving me karma for being the daughter of a shitty man. God if you're reading this, please
Ping
The notification made leia look up from her notebook. She closed the book and stuffed it under her pillow along with her pink unicorn, rainbow pen. She sat up from her previous position where she was laying on her stomach. She winced slightly as her hand brushed against the bruise her dad left on her thigh. She grabbed her phone and noticed the number wasn't saved in her phone yet the message caught her attention.
"please call me as soon as you read this"
A normal person would've ignored it, or blocked the number. But leia couldn't help as curiosity got the best of her. She dialed the number and put the phone to her ear.
"hello? Sweetheart can you hear me?" a soft feminine voice rang through the speaker, the voice sounded like it belonged to someone in their late 30s.
"who is this?" leia answered nervously as she held her breath. Maybe it was a prank call, i mean why else would some random lady be calling a fourteen girl at 9pm? And on a school night too.
"its me, baby. Its mum. Oh i miss you" those words made leah stop. Her mum. Hers. The woman her father said had left her was now saying she missed her?
Leia took a deep, shaky breath. What the hell was going on? Her mother was on the other line, waiting for response.
"mum? But dad said you left, you didnt want anything to do with me?" leia mumbled softly, her heart was pounding in her throat.
"He said that? He took you from me and im sure as hell not letting you stay with him. Please atleast hear me out?" her mother said, her voice soft and almost pleading.
Leia blinked back tears. Her hand trembled as she held the phone tighter. Was this really happening? For so long, she'd convinced herself her mother didn't care - that she was unwanted, forgotten. But now...
"Okay," Leia whispered, her voice cracking. "I'm listening."
There was a soft exhale on the other end, like her mother had been holding her breath this whole time. "Thank you, baby. I know this is a lot. I-I didn't think you'd pick up. I've tried so many times, but your father must have changed your number."
Leia's lips parted, but no sound came out. She didn't know what to say. What could she say?
"I never left you," her mother said, her voice trembling. "He told you that, didn't he? That I walked out. That I didn't want you."
Leia swallowed, her throat thick with emotion. "He said you didn't care. That you... chose someone else."
"No. God, no." Her mother's voice cracked, barely above a whisper. "He took you from me, Leia. When I left him, I tried to fight for custody. I tried so hard. But he had more money, more lawyers. And I... I didn't have anyone. I was barely surviving."
Silence filled the line, heavy and painful. Leia sat frozen on the edge of her bed, eyes burning with tears she couldn't blink away. "Why didn't you keep trying?" she asked, her voice small, wounded. "Why didn't you come for me?"
"I did, sweetheart. I swear I did. But every time I came near the house, he threatened to call the police. Said I was harassing you. He even filed a restraining order. I was scared - scared I'd make things worse for you. I thought... maybe you'd hate me if I showed up. Maybe you believed him."
Leia's chest ached. Her world tilted sideways. Everything she thought she knew - every truth she had clung to - was unraveling.
"I never stopped thinking about you. Not for a single day. I wrote you letters I never sent. I kept every drawing you made, every little thing. You were my world, Leia."
Leia wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. "Why now? Why are you calling me now?"
"I finally found someone who helped me hire a good lawyer. We've opened a case against your father. I think... I think I might be able to get custody again. But I didn't want to blindside you. I needed to hear your voice first. To know if you were okay."
Leia looked down at the bruise on her thigh. The one her dad gave her for leaving her room without permission. The same man who told her bedtime stories when she was younger - stories that ended up being lies.
"I'm not okay," she said softly.
There was a long pause on the line. Her mother's voice broke when she finally spoke. "I'm so sorry, baby. I should've gotten to you sooner. I'm going to fix this. I promise."
Leia nodded slowly, even though her mother couldn't see her. "You'll come get me?"
"If the court allows it, yes. But I need your help. I need you to tell the truth when they ask. If you're ready, I'll be there at the hearing. I'll fight for you. But I can't do it without you."
Leia's heart pounded. She had spent so long trying to be invisible, trying not to cause trouble. And now, suddenly, someone wanted her. Someone was fighting for her. She wasn't used to the feeling - the thought that maybe, just maybe, she mattered.
"I want to come with you," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "Please."
A sob cracked through the phone. "Okay. Okay, baby. We'll make it happen. I love you. I never stopped loving you."
Leia bit down on her lip to keep it from trembling. "I love you too."
"Do you still have that black and white bear you used to sleep with?" her mother asked, her voice watery but light, like she was smiling through tears.
Leia pulled the plush toy out from under her blanket, holding it against her chest. "I never let it go."
Her mother laughed softly, the sound like a warm breeze after years of cold.
"We'll talk more soon, okay? I'll text you from this number. Please be careful. And... don't let him find out we talked. Not yet."
Leia nodded again. "Okay. I won't."
"Goodnight, my brave girl."
"Goodnight, Mum."
The call ended. Leia sat there in silence, phone still pressed to her ear, her heart full of emotions she couldn't name. Hope. Fear. Relief. Longing. Everything she'd ever wanted was suddenly possible.
And that terrified her more than anything.
Leia sat still for a long time after the call ended, the phone resting loosely in her palm, the silence of her room wrapping tightly around her. The glow from the streetlight outside bled through her curtains in dull stripes, washing her room in tired gold. For the first time in what felt like forever, she didn't feel like crying - not because she wasn't overwhelmed, but because the weight of what had just happened hadn't fully settled yet. Her mother. Her mother had called. After all this time, after all the lies, all the nights wondering why she wasn't enough - the woman she'd tried so hard to stop missing had come back.
And suddenly, everything was upside down.
Leia pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them tight, her chin resting on her kneecaps. The bruise on her thigh throbbed faintly beneath her pajama shorts, a painful reminder that she wasn't safe here - that she never had been. She pressed her forehead to her knees and squeezed her eyes shut.
She had to get out. That much was clear.
But the part that scared her the most wasn't the possibility of leaving - it was telling Miles.
He'd always been the one constant in her chaos. Her peace. The boy with soft eyes and sarcastic comebacks who made her feel seen when the rest of the world looked right past her. He was the only one who knew even a little about her dad, but not the full truth. Not the bruises, not the screaming, not the way her stepmother turned a blind eye and pretended everything was fine. Leia had hidden it all so well - or at least, she thought she had.
And now... would telling him everything make him look at her differently? Would it change things?
She sighed, staring down at her unicorn pen, now lying crooked on the edge of her bed. It felt childish suddenly, like something from a life she was rapidly outgrowing - a life where pretending made the pain hurt less.
Her thoughts spun faster.
If she left, would she still see him? Would Miles still want to be around her if he knew how messed up her life really was? Would he even believe her?
A memory surfaced - the time she had scraped her knee at the lake and told Miles it was from tripping over a rock. He hadn't believed her then. He'd looked at her like he knew. And maybe he did.
Leia pulled her phone back into her lap and opened her messages. Her fingers hovered over his name.
Miles 🤎
The last text was from him earlier that week:
"Don't fall asleep in history again. You drool and it's gross."
Leia had laughed when she read it, but now the lightness of it made her chest ache. So much of what they had was built on teasing, sarcasm, and unspoken things - things she was too afraid to voice, and he was too careful to push.
But now... she needed him.
She started typing, then erased it.
Hey, can we talk?
I need to tell you something.
Everything's changing.
I think I'm leaving.
Delete. Delete. Delete.
No matter what she wrote, it felt wrong.
She flopped backward on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Telling him would make it real. And she didn't know if she was ready for real yet.
So instead, she set her phone on silent and tucked it beneath her pillow again.
Not tonight.
Tomorrow, maybe.