Ethan Knox - March 2121
I don't know how long I've been pulling against the restraints, but I know I haven't stopped. My wrists are raw beneath the cuffs, the skin rubbed red and burning every time I twist my hands, while my shoulders ache from constantly throwing my weight against the bed frame.
Exhaustion has settled deep into my muscles, making every movement harder than the last, but I refuse to stop because none of that matters. The pain and exhaustion doesn't matter. All that matters is Kai.
I yank against the restraints again, putting everything I have into the movement, and the wooden frame gives a sharp crack beneath me. I freeze for half a second before pulling again, harder this time, and another crack follows as one of the boards splinters down the middle.
"Come on," I growl through clenched teeth. "Come on..."
The board finally snaps, pieces of wood falling onto the floor, but the metal cuff remains firmly attached. I stare at it in disbelief before a wave of frustration crashes over me.
"Fuck!"
I kick the bed frame as hard as I can, sending another piece of broken wood skidding across the floor.
"LET ME OUT!"
My voice echoes through the room, but there is no answer. I pull against the restraints again until my wrists sting violently, my breathing becoming ragged as anger and fear twist together inside my chest. I know what Kai is doing. I know exactly what he's planning, and every second I spend trapped in this room is another second he's getting closer to throwing his life away.
The door suddenly opens.
Monica steps inside and immediately looks at the broken bed frame before turning her attention towards me.
"Will you stop that?"
I glare at her. "Let me go."
She sighs and closes the door behind her before leaning against it. "I can't do that."
"Yes, you can."
"I promised Kai."
His name hits me harder than I expect. For a second, my anger falters, replaced by a painful ache that settles somewhere beneath my ribs. I picture his face, the way he'd looked at me before he left, the exhaustion in his eyes and the way he'd held me as though he already knew it might be the last time.
Then the anger returns.
"Fuck Kai's promise!" I shout. "How can you just let him leave like that?"
Monica folds her arms and looks away. "There would've been nothing I could've done to stop him. You know what he's like."
"I do." My voice drops, but the anger remains. "I know exactly what he's like. That's why someone needs to stop him."
Monica looks back at me. "He made his decision, Ethan."
"And he's making the wrong one!"
I pull against the restraints again, although I know it's pointless. "If you don't want to stop him, then at least let me. Please."
The last word comes out quieter than I intend.
Monica watches me for several seconds, and I can see something shift in her expression, but before she can answer, another figure appears at the door. It's Jack. He peeks around the door, his expression nervous, and hope immediately sparks inside me.
"Jack." I soften my voice as much as I can. "Come here."
He hesitates.
"Can you free me?"
His eyes flick towards Monica before returning to me, but then he shakes his head.
My heart sinks. "Please, Jack."
He doesn't move.
"You want to stop Kai too, don't you?" I ask. "You want him to come back."
His eyes drop towards the floor.
"Kai asked me to look after you," he says quietly. "He told me to make sure nothing happened to you."
I stare at him.
"If I let you go, you could get hurt."
For a moment, I can't breathe. Even now, after everything, after losing Noah, Kai is still thinking about me. He's still trying to protect me.
I look down at my raw wrists and feel tears beginning to burn behind my eyes... That idiot.
"Who is going to look after him?" I whisper but neither of them answers.
I let out a broken laugh, wiping quickly at my face, but it does nothing to stop the tears. "He's always doing this. He's always so damn determined to make sure everyone else survives that he forgets he's allowed to survive too."
Monica's expression softens. "Ethan..."
"No." I shake my head. "You don't understand."
She pushes herself away from the wall slightly. "None of us are happy about this."
"Then stop him!"
"We couldn't."
"Then help me!"
Monica's jaw tightens. "We're all hurting, Ethan. Do you think it was easy watching Kai and Finn walk away? Do you think any of us wanted to stand there and let him go?"
She pauses, her voice becoming quieter.
"But this is what Kai wants."
I stare at her.
"And we're going to respect his final wish."
The words hit me like a physical blow. His final wish.
I lower my head as a sob escapes before I can stop it. Jack looks away, but I catch him wiping at his eyes. None of us want this. None of us want to accept that Kai might not come back. But they're willing to let him go and I'm not.
"It's not what I wish for," I whisper.
The room falls silent. I stare at the floor as another tear rolls down my cheek and lands against my hand. I think about how Kai would've reacted if he were here. He would've noticed immediately, wiped the tears away with his thumb, probably made some stupid comment about me being too emotional before pulling me against him and telling me everything was going to be okay.
I let out a small, broken laugh. "Do you know what I wish for?"
Neither of them answers. Jack shifts awkwardly in the doorway while Monica watches me carefully.
"I wish I could just run away with him."
My voice trembles as I continue. "I wish we could escape all of this. No GeneX., no experiments, no fighting, no powers and no people trying to kill us every other week. I wish we could have a little house together somewhere in the middle of nowhere where nobody knows who we are."
The image forms so clearly in my mind that for a moment I can almost see it.
"I'd wake up every morning and Kai would already be outside with his coffee, probably complaining about how cold it is while refusing to actually come inside. The dogs would be curled up beside him, and there'd be leaves covering the ground."
A faint smile touches my lips despite the tears.
"We'd argue over stupid things. I'd steal his clothes. I'd complain about him leaving his coffee cups everywhere. We'd cook together, probably badly, and we'd spend our evenings sitting outside watching the stars."
My smile disappears.
"That's all I ever wanted."
I look down, my throat tightening. "I don't want him to be a weapon. I don't want him to be some powerful Awakener who has to save everyone." My voice breaks again.
"I just want him to be Kai."
The silence becomes unbearable.
"It's not fair."
I shake my head as tears fall freely now, thinking about everything Kai has survived. His childhood, his father, the facility, all those experiments. The years of being treated like something that belonged in a laboratory rather than a person who deserved a life.
"He never got to have a normal life," I whisper. "He spent his childhood being hurt by the person who was supposed to protect him, then he spent the rest of it being locked away and experimented on. And now that he's finally free, he thinks he has to give his life away for everyone else."
I squeeze my eyes shut.
"It's not fair."
My voice is barely audible now. "He's going to die before he ever gets the chance to find out what living actually feels like."
Monica doesn't say anything, and neither does Jack. I lift my head and look between them.
"He thinks if he leaves me here, I'll be safe." I laugh bitterly. "He thinks I'll just move on."
My eyes burn.
"But how am I supposed to move on from him?" I shake my head. "He's everything to me."
I remember the first time I saw him and the facility. I didn't know then that he would become the person I couldn't imagine living without.
"From the moment our eyes met, he's been part of my life. He's been there through everything. And now he's decided he gets to choose a future where I am left without him."
I wipe at my face.
"I can't accept that."
Nobody moves and the silence stretches between us until Monica finally exhales.
"Oh, for fuck's sake."
I look up as she pushes herself away from the wall and walks towards me.
"What?"
She doesn't answer. Instead, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a key.
My eyes widen.
"Monica..."
"Don't make me regret this."
She grabs my wrist and unlocks the cuff. The metal drops away, and for several seconds I simply stare at my freed hand, almost unable to believe what I'm seeing. Then Monica unlocks the other.
"Fine," she mutters. "Let's go get that bastard before he gets himself killed."
I rub my wrists, wincing at the raw skin before immediately pushing myself to my feet. Jack looks between us.
"But..."
"But nothing," Monica says, turning towards him. "If we're going to do this, we have to do it now."
She looks at me, her expression suddenly serious.
"But don't blame me if you get hurt or killed along the way. And don't blame me if chasing after Kai makes things worse."
I meet her eyes.
"I don't care."
"I know." She turns towards the door. "That's what worries me."
Monica walks out, and Jack gives me one last uncertain look before hurrying after her.
I stand alone for a moment, staring at the open doorway before looking down at the blood smeared across my wrists. Kai did this because he wanted to keep me safe. He thinks trapping me here means I'm protected, and he thinks losing him is something I'll eventually recover from.
He's wrong.
I grab my jacket and follow them.
Because if Kai has decided he's willing to die for us, then I'm going to make damn sure he knows there's at least one person in this world who would rather die beside him than live without him.