Seeing Sandy still wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night, Sanji couldn't help grumbling.
"I swear, Sandy, can you even see with those sunglasses on?"
Sandy turned and pouted unhappily.
"The moonlight is too bright. What's wrong with blocking the moonlight?"
"Oh!!" Luffy smacked his fist into his palm. "So THAT'S why! Hey, Sandy, get me a pair too!"
Sandy tossed him a pair.
"Here, Luffy. You wanna negotiate, or should I handle it?"
After putting them on, Luffy declared proudly, "Of course it's—"
Before he could finish, the entire crew yanked him backward.
"Huh?! What are you doing?" Luffy blinked.
Usopp sighed, "Because if YOU negotiate, they'll attack before you finish your second sentence!"
"Am I that amazing?" Luffy puffed up his chest. "Hahaha!"
"..."
A loudspeaker boomed from somewhere on the fortress walls.
"Straw Hat Pirates! Do not resist! You are completely surrounded!"
Sandy immediately grabbed a giant loudspeaker and yelled back,
"You Marine bastards! Guests arrive and you don't even offer tea?! Instead you threaten us? Do you know who I am? I am GOD! If you keep yapping, I'll—"
Usopp and Chopper instantly slapped their hands over his mouth and dragged him back.
"Didn't you say you'd talk properly?!" Usopp scolded.
"Do you WANT to chop them to death!?"
"Don't do such dangerous things, you bastard!" Chopper added in panic.
Luffy, now holding the loudspeaker Sandy dropped, stepped forward and announced, "My name is Monkey D. Luffy! I'm the man who will become the Pirate K—"
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!
The Marines didn't even wait for him to finish. Cannonfire roared toward the Merry.
Sandy stood up.
"You idiots. They're Marines—why would they negotiate? Forget talking! Space Field—!"
A shimmering field expanded around the ship.
Every single cannonball froze mid-air, stopped cold just meters from the Merry.
The Marines stared, trembling.
"Why… why aren't they exploding!?"
"Is this… some kind of ghost!?"
"Rear Admiral Drake! What should we do!?"
Drake gritted his teeth. The base commander had vanished at the worst time.
"…Fire again!!"
BOOM BOOM BOOM—
Same result. Every cannonball hung suspended, unable to touch the Straw Hats.
Sandy raised the loudspeaker, smirking.
"You Marines have guts! Firing without a word—keep shooting! Go on!"
"That's right, keep firing, baka!" Luffy added.
"Baka!" Usopp, Chopper, and Luffy all chanted mockingly.
Humiliated, the Marines fired again—same result.
Sandy burst out laughing.
"I'm done playing. Our crew is blessed by God! If you want to hurt us, come back in a hundred years, you dumb Marines!"
He turned.
"Nami, check the Log Pose and point us to the escape route!"
"If we're running, the exit is that way!" Nami said quickly.
"Space Field—SPACE JUMP!"
The Merry vanished in a blink, flickering like a teleporting ghost before reappearing outside the fortress.
Marines stood frozen—swallowing hard, wiping sweat.
No one dared speak.
There are no useless Devil Fruits in the world—only users who fail to utilize them properly.
Even if the Rumble-Rumble Fruit was powerful, could it make a ship teleport through the air like this?
Under the dark night sky, the Merry finally drifted onto calm waters.
Sandy proudly bought two table lamps from the pheromone system, positioning them so only he was illuminated in dramatic golden light.
He tossed back his hair and gloated,
"Well? Envious? Jealous? You should be! Only someone as handsome as me deserves a divine Devil Fruit like the Space Fruit! You guys… don't deserve it!!"
The rest of the crew sat in darkness, all wearing matching deadpan expressions.
Sanji exhaled slowly.
"Idiot Space."
"Idiot Space," everyone echoed at once.
"You're all jealous!" Sandy barked.
Luffy's eyes flattened.
"Idiot Space… stupid Sandy."
Zoro and the others finally understood what Luffy endured daily.
Understanding truly was everything.
Just then—grumble grumble…
Sandy clutched his stomach dramatically.
"Oh no… I forgot I haven't eaten!"
Everyone collapsed.
Luffy, reminded, suddenly sat up.
"I'm starving!"
Sanji sighed.
"It's pitch-black out here. There's no food left in the kitchen."
"I'll go catch a fish," Zoro offered.
"WAIT!!" Usopp grabbed him. "Zoro! Absolutely NOT!"
"Why?" Zoro blinked.
Usopp deadpanned.
"You KNOW why. You take three steps and get lost."
Sanji nodded.
"It's late. If you get lost at sea, we'll spend all night searching for you."
Everyone nodded. This was the truth.
Human truth.
"You bastards!!" Zoro growled, veins popping.
Luffy leaned in, squinting at him.
"…Idiot."
"IDIOT!"
Sanji, Usopp, Chopper joined in.
"Damn It!!" Zoro roared, lunging at them as they all started wrestling.
Sandy sat off to the side, speechless.
He boiled water and opened instant noodles from the system.
"Yahahaha!" Luffy cackled between bites. "These noodles are amazing! Hey Usopp, wanna trade?"
"No!" Usopp refused. "You already drank all the soup!"
Rejected, Luffy slithered over to Sandy and begged, "Sandy… I'm hungry. Make another one? Pleeease?"
Sandy sighed and tossed him another cup.
"When you eat, chew properly! You don't even chew! You're the Captain—fine, I'll add two braised eggs. But this is the last one!"
"Thanks!!" Luffy cheered—
—and instantly stole a chicken drumstick from Sandy's bowl.
"DAMN IT!!" Sandy roared. "YOU DAMN STRAW HAT!! GIVE BACK MY CHICKEN LEG!!"
But it was too late.
The drumstick had already entered the void known as Luffy's stomach.
...
Author's Note:
The fanfic One Piece: My Flirtatious System Adventure is now fully completed.
The entire story has been uploaded on Patreon as a dedicated collection.
📚 Category: One Piece (Chapters 1–657)
One complete 18+ novel has been uploaded on Patreon, guaranteed to give you an intense and thrilling experience.
🔥 I also have an Additional 18+ fanfics now available for readers who enjoy exclusive mature stories. 😉
1.Dragon Ball: Oolong's Sex Adventure
2. Elements of Lust – ATLA & Korra Mixed Smut
3. Doraemon: Filtering with Nobi Tamako
4. The Naive Me Who Became Someone's Everyday Secret
5. High School DxD: Rias Gremory, the Phenex Bride
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