"Everyone," Nami asked, worried, "are we really going to that island we absolutely shouldn't step onto?"
"Of course!" Luffy's eyes lit up. "What delicious food will be there?"
Nami warned, "That guy who's called God can release lightning. Maybe we'll die!"
Luffy shrugged. "What's the big deal? People die eventually."
Seeing Luffy so calm, Nami asked, "Are you pretending to be brave? Who isn't afraid of dying?"
Sandy laughed. "He's not pretending—he's excited to death."
Sandy and Luffy exchanged a look, high-fiving in unison. "Bingo."
Sanji and Usopp, fed up with the pair's grinfest, stepped forward and kicked them.
Usopp kicked and shouted, "You two idiots, stop grinning! I'm scared to death!"
Sanji kicked as well. "Care about Nami and Robin more, will you! And the Going Merry! And Zoro and Chopper while you're at it!"
Suddenly a giant lobster — a Super Express Shrimp unique to Skypiea — surged out from beneath the Going Merry and lifted the ship.
Usopp shouted, "What's happening? What's with this huge tremor!?"
Chopper squealed, "Ah! God's angry! We're going to die! We're going to die!"
Nami wailed, "This is your fault! You said we were going to God's Island and now God's angry because of it!"
Sandy rolled his eyes. "Nami, calm down. That's just a Super Express Shrimp — bigger than the one that brought us up last time."
Sanji peered over the rail. "Where is it taking us?"
Zoro shrugged. "Shouldn't it be taking us to God's Island? Did they get a message or something?"
At the Cloud Coast, McKinley sneered. "If you'd listened to me, none of this would have happened. The White Berets are the gentlest enforcers in God's Country. You fools ignored me — now you'll face God's Enforcers. They won't be so easygoing, hmm?"
McKinley suddenly noticed something flying toward him.
"Pia—"
"It stinks!!"
McKinley screamed, then passed out.
Luffy squealed, "Usopp! You're amazing!"
Usopp pointed at Sandy. "You bastard, I only have one pair of shoes! Why did you throw my shoe away!?"
Sandy tossed a spare pair to Usopp and didn't bother to explain. The guy had been wearing the same shoes forever.
The Going Merry rocketed along as the Super Express Shrimp sped them toward the island.
Soon they arrived at an altar on God's Island (Apaya). Usopp hid in a corner, peeking out to observe.
Sandy stared, thinking: didn't someone want to be a brave warrior of the sea? Is this it?
Robin scanned the surroundings and focused on inscriptions carved into the altar walls. Nami anxiously confirmed, "This has to be an altar, right?"
Luffy jumped up. "Everyone, I smell the scent of an adventure! This is fantastic, fantastic, fantastic—"
The echo rolled across the ancient clearing.
They stood in a dense forest of massive trees, trunks sometimes seven or eight meters across.
Bird calls, the distant creak of enormous trunks, mysterious roars, and periodic howls of unseen beasts filled the air.
The Super Express Shrimp set the Going Merry atop an altar more than ten meters high.
Stone pillars surrounding the altar bore small flames, as if someone had prepared for a sacrifice. Below them was a sea of clouds stretching as far as the eye could see.
"Hey—what's up with Sandy?" Zoro asked when he noticed Sandy walking slowly.
The others didn't understand either. In truth, Sandy had been struck by inspiration — poetry had bubbled up inside him.
He stopped, breathed in the crisp air, pointed forward, and recited loudly
"Vast layers of clouds for miles, snow on a thousand mountains at dusk — where does a lone shadow go? I ask the boundless… hmm?"
Before he could finish, something splattered barely beside the finger he was pointing with.
"Caw caw caw—"
A bird's droppings had ruined the moment. Sanji puffed on a cigarette and laughed. "Could anything be more perfectly timed? Hahaha… I'm dying."
Sanji's laughter broke the silence.
"Hahaha—Sandy, why didn't it hit your hand?" someone teased.
"If it had hit his head that would've been perfect," another said. "Who told him to be all poetic?"
"Hehehe, Sandy, you okay?"
How could Sandy be okay? That damn bird! He glared up as it circled the Going Merry, clearly mocking him. If he tried to show off again, it might strike again.
Sandy muttered at the bird, "Immoral behavior, defecating anywhere. If you've got guts, come down and see if I don't roast you, beast—damn it."
Luffy stepped between Sandy and the bird, serious. "Sandy, don't get angry at a bird. You haven't been hit yet, right?"
"No, I'm fine—hah," Sandy lied, voice tight with annoyance. Luffy's simple, earnest mockery set everyone laughing. Sanji howled again.
Chopper whimpered, "Now even the birds look down on Sandy?"
Sandy snapped back, "You two idiots — want me to chop you both up!?"
More laughter.
Their noise echoed through the forest and drew the attention of the creatures in the sea of clouds.
"Roar—"
A giant fish leapt out of the cloud-sea, heading straight for the Going Merry as if it meant to swallow the ship whole.
Sandy's eyes narrowed. He stopped Luffy and Zoro as they moved forward.
"Space Field!"
CLANG—
Moments later, Sandy returned carrying dozens of huge slabs of fish meat. "I say, before we go into the forest, let's fill our stomachs first."
Nami snapped, "You idiot! Didn't Conis say these fish are sacred to Skypiea?"
Sandy rolled his eyes. "Fine. Give me some Belly and I'll go buy food."
Nami coughed. "Actually… this is pretty good."
"Sanji, get to work! Grilled fish, stewed fish, roast—"
"Hey, hey, God, please forgive me, I swear I didn't do this."
"Usopp, you're not getting any of this fish later…"
...
Author's Note:
The fanfic One Piece: My Flirtatious System Adventure is now fully completed.
The entire story has been uploaded on Patreon as a dedicated collection.
📚 Category: One Piece (Chapters 1–657)
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