GENERALLY, I'm not supposed to have a girlfriend. As the role of best friend might suggest, I'm just here for comedic relief. Any 'girlfriend' I may have will probably just be a blank, cardboard like shape of a human woman.
In other words, it'd be better if I never have a girlfriend.
Sorry, Mom, Dad. Looks like you won't be getting any grandkids from me— Though I think you'll be just fine with our late night gaming sessions. I love you both.
Anyway, that's why I've never really tried to put myself out there in the dating sphere by flirting. Anyone I could meet would never compare to Ha—
I mean. They would just be very boring, from what I'm used to. Yeah. Nothing else. Absolutely.
I don't even realize what I was doing subconsciously until a thumb brushed against my lower lip, gently extracting it from the grip my teeth had on it. I blinked, jerking away, before the realization of what I was doing here and who this person was came crashing back.
Oh. Right. It was lunch, I'm Akiyo Shinji, and the person who just did that was Haruki Hanma.
Wait.
HARUKI?!
My jaw dropped. "Doesn't that— Doesn't that count as PDA?!" I stage-whispered, "We'd get in trouble!" Plus, aren't I supposed to be the one who's making the moves?! This is supposed to be a one-way relationship!!!
Haruki just offers me that lopsided smile, the one that told me he didn't really care. "We won't," He murmured, "As long as we aren't caught."
"As long as we aren't—" My face flames into a bright red, and my hands tighten around the edges of the lunch table. "Haruki! Don't say it like that! You make it sound like— Like—"
"Like?" Haruki probes, and I hate the way his voice is so patient. So calm. Like he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. "Like what, Aki?"
I wave my hands animatedly, like I always do when I'm flustered. "Y'know! Like— Like we're doing it!"
A slow, amused smile spreads across his damned rich boy face, the type of expression he always wore when he understood my meaning but still wanted me to say the embarrassing truth. "And what's 'it', Akiyo?" He asks patiently. I felt my cheeks burn even harder. He's treating me like a child right now.
I squeeze my eyes shut— I could just tell him I didn't want to say it, and he'd apologize, preventing me from having to humiliate myself. But at the same time—
I trust Haruki with my life. And when he laughs when I say something embarrassing or stupid— He's not laughing at me. He's laughing with me.
And I think that's enough.
Leave it to me to make the most simple things sentimental, huh? My lips curve into a soft smile as I laugh, playing hard to get. "No way," I shoot back, grinning, "I'm not telling you anything!"
A look in Haruki's eyes flicker, before vanishing in a blink. "Please?" He says, tone going soft in that infuriating way. His eyes, always warm towards me, soften even more. He's begging.
Which is disastrous. Emotionally destructive. Illegal, even.
I fold instantly.
Sighing, I lean over the lunch table to whisper in Haruki's ear. "Y'know," I hiss at him, "It. The thing people do in the janitor's closet…!"
Haruki blinks. Then, he grins. "Oh, you sweet summer child," He laughs, and my cheeks flush even more, "Akiyo, you're hilarious."
I swat at his arm. "It's all your fault!" I complain, but giggles are spilling out of my mouth, too. Then: Poof! A bright idea just pops into my head like God's gift to my miserable life. Sit on his lap, bro!
Genius. Possibly devastating. I can feel the eyes of the Harem watching us like hawks. I glance over and wink at them. They giggle. I pretend to not see Haruki's attention zeroing in on that interaction, his lips pressing into a thin line.
"I've decided on your punishment," I declare like a prophet. "You better be nice and comfy, Haru."
Haruki blinks, caught off guard. I always feel a sense of delight when I do this to him— Because I'm the only one who can. "Akiyo, what the hell are you talking abou—"
Oops. Too late. I've already run around the table like I'm in some god awful marathon and very happily plop myself into Haruki's lap. His thighs are very squishy, if you're wondering. I squeezed one once, just because I was curious, and just because I can.
"Punishment," I repeated, like I was giving an address to the country, "Feed me. That's an order, Haru." I leaned back against his chest, smirking like the cat who had just got the cream. I look spoiled, completely and utterly, and maybe I am.
But really, who cares? No matter how much Haruki might protest, I know—
"God, you're horrible to me," Haruki grumbles, but he's already picking up the spoon and fork, so really, who's the weak one here?
See? I know. I know he'll always give in to me, and in return, I'll make him as happy as I can. Fair trade, right?
"But you still love me," I sing-songed. Just then— A slight tension in his shoulders, fingers tightening around my waist. But it's smoothed over, and I dismiss it again.
"...Yeah," He mutters, "You're lucky I do." I smile. Because isn't he just the greatest best friend there ever was?
I open my mouth a tad bit too eagerly, legs swinging, one hand on his chest, and Haruki, sulking in that almost elegant way only he can, carefully feeding me like I'm fragile.
I'll admit it, here and now— I enjoy being spoiled. And this? This is, just maybe, a bit of an indulgence on my part.
But it's also research! For the Haruki Harem™️! Trust me bro!
I crossed my arms, looking like the most spoiled teenage boy on this planet. In the distance, I can see the Haruki Harem™️ whispering and probably dying over the wish to be in my position right now.
Hell, I can even see it— The blush on Haruki's ears and neck. And I grin to myself, because dear God do I feel smug. Very, very smug. More log notes.
[Log Entry #99: It's getting easier to make ice-cold Haruki blush. I think I'm figuring out how to press all the right buttons…]
Haruki pokes at the seam between my lips. I open it obediently. "Commence," I say, and my mouth is immediately stuffed with yummy food. Perfection. I hum, a happy an content rhythm.
So, new things to report to the girls. I silently file all of this away for later use. For now, I smile at Haruki indulgently. "You're doing so well, Haru~" I coo, grinning madly, tapping his chest. "I'm so proud~!"
He flushes. I pretend not to notice. It's easier that way. "Shut up," He grumbles, and I don't. Because that means the weight of it all will hang in the air with the silence.
And I hate silence.
So I filled it with chatter. Because that's what I do best.
And I push away the urge to hoard away all these little moments with Haruki like I'm some toxic, red flag, possessive boyfriend.
Which. I. Am. NOT!
So I'm going to be an extremely, super sane person right now and deliver the data I have gathered from this lap-sitting session and MOVE ON! Like a completely normal person! Like anything about me can be considered normal… BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT HERE!!!!
Anyway.
More stuff to scramble my thoughts until I can pack it up neatly and present it like a goddamn thesis to the Harem. I sighed, surveying my surroundings, noting them in my mental logs like some scientist freak.
Kaori. She was smiling, but…
[Log Entry #100: Kaori's smile has grown less sincere by around 37%. Predicted to rise within a minute. Cause: Haruki's dumbassery, and my wimpiness. Fuck my life.]
Log noted. I was cooked. I was suddenly doubting my utter genius.
Then of course, Haruki had to ruin my philosophical moment. "Akiyo, you're heavy. Like, baby elephant heavy. Please get off me."
And ohhhh. Ohhhhhh. There's no way Mr. Haruki-I'm-So-Sweet-And-Innocent Hanma is getting away with this. I splutter, gathering all the rage I had buried deep within my tiny, not-average-height body. "Mr. Haruki Hanma…!!!!" I lorded over him, summoning the menacing aura of our campus director, "How dare you disrespect me like this!!! I am your childhood friend since diapers, and you dare—"
"Correction," Haruki said dryly, a flash of amusement brimming in his eyes, "I've known you since we were toddlers. Big difference, there."
Haha, yeah. Haruki just fucked up.
Haruki Hanma, you are dead.
AND IT WILL BE BY MY HANDS.
I dramatically spun around with a flourish, my hands immediately going to his neck. "Haruki Hanma, heir to the throne of Hanma Technologies!!!" I said dramatically, "Today, you will perish!!!!"
Haruki opened his mouth to respond. Then—
Someone shushed us. Like, really loudly. Honestly, it was probably Rin. Fuck. My face turned red like I'd been assaulted by tomatoes. Utterly disrespectful analogy, but completely accurate and mortifying.
And then Haruki was starting to laugh.
DOUBLE FUCK.
This truly, utterly, COMPLETELY offended me. I let out a soft groan, head falling forward as I buried it in his chest, trying to hide the burning heat on my skin from the world. "I hate youuuuuuu!!!" I grumbled, pummeling his chest with my fists.
Haruki, perfect as always, didn't even seem to feel my punches. RUDE. "Aw, Aki~" He said, voice pitching up in a slight whine that sent shivers down my spine. I recoiled away. "You can't really mean that, right? I just love you so much, Aki~!"
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
My jaw dropped. I pulled away even further. My hand slapped across his mouth, effectively shutting him up. "Haru," I hissed, "If you keep doing this, we'll be in serious trouble—"
Then I felt it. Something warm, wet, disgusting sliding across my hand. A gasp tore through me, and I wrenched my hand away. "What the fuck— Did you just lick my hand?!"
Haruki looked at me, that fake innocence look on his face, but I could see it— The gloating smugness baked into his eyes. Hell, his tongue was still sticking out. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Devastating. Heart breaking. Blood boiling. I HATE MY LIFE.
Nope. Nope, nope, NOPE. That's enough flirting for today. I am TIRED and I am DONE. I absolutely REFUSE to be abused like this any longer. I shoved myself off of his lap like a disgruntled cat. "I'M GOING TO THE GIRLS." I declared, just loud enough so I wouldn't get berated a second time. "AND YOU'RE NOT COMING."
Haruki has the audacity to pout like HE'S the one being done injustice, propping his chin on the back of his hands. "Awww, Aki, really?" He gives me those damnable puppy eyes. "Are you cucking me right now?"
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK x2?
"I am not talking to you until after school," I hiss. Then I paused. "Actually, wait. Scratch that, I'm not talking to you until TOMORROW."
Haruki's frown deepened, suddenly, and I wondered if I took it too far. But then he smiled, wide, innocent, and I figured it was nothing. "A true shame," He sighed, "How will you ever survive without— What did you call me? Your muse for BL mangas—?"
My jaw dropped, utterly scandalized. Why did he have to reveal that?! In a public spot, no less?! I truly pity the people surrounding us right now, ESPECIALLY the Haruki Harem™️. "That's it!" I flush, spinning on my heel, "That's enough. Yep, good-bye, Haru. NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN."
With that, I sped off running towards the girls, immediately seeking comfort by dramatically flopping into Kaori's arms
.
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…
Sooooo. About my threat.
I totally forgot me and Haruki were seatmates. My God, did I feel awkward. I shifted in my chair too many times to count. My eyes flicked over nervously every few seconds, and whenever our eyes met, I would jolt like I was being electructed.
With each passing moment, my eyes would dart back and forth, and Haruki would lean forward even more. I could feel his eyes intensely staring at me, and I could hardly dare to breathe, much less look him in the eye.
My lip was definitely bleeding from how much I was biting it, and my leg was bouncing so hard it might just fall off.
I was like a soggy piece of wet paper. I folded immediately from one knowing look in his eyes.
"Ha~ruuuu~" I whined, quietly enough so that the teacher would hear. My head fell onto his shoulders, and my hand found his, a quiet apology. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean not talking to you for a day…"
I saw his lip twitch. Once. Barely there, but very much still present. Emboldened, I continued, "So pleaseee don't ignore me," I pleaded, clinging to his arm like some pathetic, sopping wet cat.
Haruki glanced over. Then he smiled a little wider. Mega win. "Hmm? Ignoring you? Aki, are you sure you're not going crazy? I've just been minding my own business, that's all." The little shit! Acting all sweet and innocent when I'm basically on my knees!
I keep whining and pleading, until finally, Haruki gives in. He lets out that soft sigh, the one that shows me he's both amused and exasperated. "Okay, fine, fine. I forgive you, Aki." He leans forward, presses a soft kiss to my nose.
I freeze.
"U-Uh…?" I say, dumbly. I glance over at the teacher, which I know is stupid, because we're at the very back. "Haru…?"
Haruki's lips curved into a sweet smile. "Hmm? Akiyo, don't tell me you don't remember? We did that all the time. It's normal."
My brows furrowed. I don't remember anything like that. I bite my lip, trying to recall a time something like this happened, but I can't. But then again… My memory, according to Haruki, has always been rather faulty. I'm so thankful that he's here to fill in the blanks.
So I accept his words, smiling back at him. "Hmm, I guess you're right," I hummed, laughing softly. "Now, let's focus on the lesson, idiot."
Haruki squeezes my hand, once. "Mhm. Whatever you say, Aki."
[ THIS LOG CHAPTER ENDS HERE. ]