I always wondered why you wouldn't look at me for a few hours after your nightmares.
I wondered if I had done something wrong, if I had hurt you.
You never told me.
But I always knew.
You were always there for everyone else, but not for yourself.
Not for me.
You thought that since I was your best friend, that if I needed help, I would just tell you.
You really thought that, right?
Yet you didn't tell me when you needed help.
You never talked to me about your problems.
You just hid them in secret coded messages you knew I wouldn't understand.
You did that so that when the time came, you could blame it on me. To say that you tried so hard to tell me.
That you tried to get help.
But you didn't. Not even close.
You might've been a good person, but you would twist everything so people would trust you.
Your reputation wasn't actually yours, was it?
Now that I think about it, you were a horrible person.
You gaslit me into thinking I wanted to save up for that backpack from the mall.
I didn't.
You did.
You told me that I should save up for something I wanted, and when I told you I wanted a dinosaur plushy, you told me "oh, weren't you saving up for a backpack?" then when I told you no, you still insisted.
We were only kids, but as grew up, as YOU grew up, it only went downhill from there.