Darkness wasn't silence. It was breathing. Slow, shallow, and cold. The type that pricked at my skin because it was so intense
the only thing I could see were spots of colourful lights.
I drifted through it like a ghost suspended between heartbeats. My fingers trembled as they grazed my skin whole, unbroken, yet I still felt the warm gush of blood that wasn't there.
The memory hit me before the scream did.
My husband's lips on another woman's neck. His hands on her tits.
My sister's laugh. The deep sounds.
The glint of the blade as they turned on me together.
I choked out a sob that vanished into the void. "Why?"
The darkness swallowed my voice, but a softer sound broke through like a heartbeat muffled by silk. It was small, fragile. Familiar.
In the heat of the moment, I quickly recalled my 6 months old daughter, Amber, I'd hidden her away from Conner and had her months before we got married, but I was afraid Conner might feel pressured if I made him marry me because I got pregnant out of wedlock. I felt it was perfect to tell him after our forthcoming wedding. Well, now I know it was definitely the wrong choice.
Unfortunately, I wanted to tell him the same night I was killed.
How would she cope with my wicked sister? She was the only one who knew. What would become of him in the realm of the living?
I could still feel the faint flutter beneath my ribs, the warmth that had given me courage to smile on the days I'd wanted to disappear.
"I hid you so he'd never know," I whispered, tears falling though they turned to dust before touching my cheeks. "You were my only light, little one. What will she do to you now?"
I saw flashes, the child's blanket tucked beneath the floorboards, the charm I left to keep the baby safe, the quiet prayer whispered under her breath the morning of my wedding.
If anything happens to me, live. Just live.
Then the void shifted.
A dull vibration rippled through my chest, like thunder far away. Shadows peeled back, revealing a corridor carved from light and glass, endless and echoing. I gasped as the ground formed beneath my bare feet transparent, showing the constellations spinning below.
From the distance came the toll of bells that weren't made of metal but memory.
When she looked up, a huge throne waited at the corridor's end woven from chains of starlight and drifting feathers, its occupant neither man nor woman, neither angel nor demon. They shimmered between forms, each shift accompanied by the whisper of universes breaking and mending again. It was something I couldn't properly define.
When they spoke, it was both inside and outside her mind:
I was startled as it called my name.
"Shaoline of the Nephilim bloodline."
The voice was layered, like countless beings speaking in unison. I fell to her knees instinctively, my body trembling.
"Where… am I?"
The figure rose. The hall bent with the movement, stars trembling around them.
"You stand before Xuchiris, Arbiter of Fate and Judgment. Your mortal life has ended, but your purpose has not."
My lips quivered. "I...I was betrayed. They murdered me. My husband and my sister..."
The god's eyes flared, swirling galaxies reflected in their gaze. "We know. Every act of betrayal is carved upon the scroll of time. But you, child, are bound by threads deeper than blood."
My heart twisted. "My child?"
A pause then, almost tenderly, Xuchiris nodded. "Two souls perished that night, but only one reached this hall. The other has been left at your lineage, hidden beyond your reach. Destiny has kept them safe for now."
I pressed a shaking hand to my chest, trying to breathe through the ache. "Then send me back. Please. I'll protect them"
"Not yet."
The voice thundered through the void, shaking the hall so violently that shards of light rained from the ceiling.
"Your heart is soaked in vengeance," Xuchiris said softly. "If you return now, you would destroy all that remains of your soul. You must be tested first."
I looked up again, tears streaking like light down my face. "Tested?"
"The Abyss," they answered. "A realm between damnation and renewal. You will be reborn there as a Flinter a soul who serves the demons that govern balance. You will remember nothing of who you were, not until your heart recalls its grief. Only then will you have the right to choose: vengeance or redemption."
My breath caught. "And if I fail?"
"Then you will become one with the Abyss," Xuchiris said. "A whisper in the dark, forgotten by all realms. Even your child will never find you."
Her mind raced. "Please… there must be another way."
"None that keep your soul intact.I must say"
For a moment, the god looked almost sorrowful. They reached out, one luminous hand brushing against my forehead. It wasn't warmth that touched her, but the sensation of every memory I'd ever lived flashing behind my eyes, my mother's cruel disdain, the improper treatment I'd received from my family and in school, my sister's jealous eyes, Conner's false promises, the little daughter I left behind.
"Your lineage is cursed and divine," Xuchiris murmured. "Your mother bound herself to light, your father to shadow. You are the fracture between both. It is time you learn what that means."
A gust of violet flame spiraled beneath my feet, curling up my body like serpents.
"Wait!" I cried, reaching out, "will I ever see my child again?"
Xuchiris's eyes dimmed. "That depends on what you become. You may see her again but staying with her, it really depends"
The light exploded. I screamed as the floor shattered, and I was swallowed by the vortex.
Down I fell through storms of molten glass and whispers of laughter, through rivers of souls clawing upward. Faces I didn't know brushed past me at whizzing speed, each whispering words I couldn't hear.
And in that descent, I caught a faint sound,
a baby's cry, distant but familiar, echoing from the depths below.
I reached out into the dark. "My baby..."
But my voice broke apart, dissolving into a thousand fragments of light.
My body ignited, wings burning away until only my shadow remained. Beneath me, the Abyss opened like a mouth swirling, crimson, endless.
At its center stood a single figure cloaked in black fire, watching me fall with eyes that mirrored my own.
Then everything went white.