I was the king of caparaces! The mighiest insect of them all!
Also I was still reeling from the stone I had ingested but... There was no but, it was just terrible. Every motion was straining my tiny muscles!
So as soon as I had found shelter in the busy cave, the others had rushed to me, to pamper me and feed me! I felt a little bad, because they looked like me and watching them fall under my legs and lay there inert was... Let's not think about that!
They were rubbing and cleaning my shell and torn entrails aside, I had never felt better since I was born!
"There is a town you have to cross." The others warned me. "Watch out, there are monsters!"
It was better to go alone, to not attract attention, but I was so important that they would scout ahead and find me a safe passage!
In my head we were not in a sorry dark cave, huddling against deadly winds while sharing a trickle of food. We were in a magma pit and a whole horde was feasting before a hunt! It really felt that way, no matter how much reality chewed my body!
Ahead we went! A few left first and me after, into the empty plain and toward the ruins afar. They didn't look like much.
Okay they were huge! There were piles of grey and white debris lying everywhere!
But any time I got lost a caparace found me and told me where to go, and scolded me a little because I was too slow. I was not too slow! Just prudent.
There were other monsters, and not the kind, huddling insectoid ones. More like big, powerful predators looking to make a meal out of me. Any time their eyes fell on my shell I froze and felt like dying... Until they left me alone.
That's right! You leave me alone! You would regret it, my tiny legs would tickle you to submission!
It wasn't funny. It was scary and big and disorientating and the worst was the red eyes hanging above on massive stone pillars and arches. Those would not let go no matter what.
But I had a stone to carry, so I pushed through and avoided all the dangers, and got lost a bit and found my way back. I was out!
I was finally out, walking past the last ruins and toward a couple insects who were waiting for me.
"I made it!" I gloated.
One pushed me with anger: "Hurry, we are dying there!"
The other calmed her down.
They looked so worn down that I felt bad for them, so I let it slide and we walked together along a big cliff that went all the way down! And I could not tell what was on the other side.
Ah! Walking was even more exhausting here!
"I can't wait to get rid of the stone!" I exclaimed.
"I will take it!"
They were more than willing and we did not stop but got into a bit of a fight.
"Why?! It's heavy and it tears you apart!"
"But you are saving the realm! All we do is walk and decay alongside."
And the other: "I wish the great voice had chosen me..."
Okay, I sort of got what they meant. It felt great to be the center of the realm! But it super hurt! So maybe just suffering for nothing was okay for a bit.
Ah! We were arriving. There on the cliff emerged a half-dozen other caparaces and they looked like undeads! Their shells were cracked, like, covered with crevices! And losing tint, like they were ill or turning to stone.
Just watching them pierced my little monster heart.
But they approached us and one of them said: "I will take the stone."
"Okay!" I said.
Okay how? I could not exactly spit it out. Wait, how was I meant to give the stone again?
Wait... no! No no no, actually, I was fine with a stone in my body. I could keep going! They saw me recoil and shake like a leaf. Look, I could cross the whole realm, trust me!
"Give him the stone." Another said.
"Come on, hurry."
I was starting to panic.
"Wait wait wait! I still have mana, there is no need!"
"Idiot! You will get lost in the desert and then the realm will die!" And another chimed in: "Give him your mana too!"
It wasn't happening? Right? Eh? Great voice, that wasn't happening?
Ah. It really was. It really was! They were all looking at me and I could run away, what were they gonna do? Die catching me?! But then, I would have nowhere to go and the realm...
"Hurry..." The caparace in front of me started to shake. "We don't have time!"
"Easy for you to say!" My voice was a crying mess.
"How do you think I will pass the stone myself?!" It sobbed in turn. "Hurry, before I doubt."
I didn't want to! I didn't want to... What good was it to save the realm if I was gone!? Why was I carrying that stone at all!?
The thought of the great voice lying to me was too much to bear.
"You will save the realm?" I pleaded.
"I promise."
I lowered my head and waited... And waited. And waited. I lowered my head... And waited...
I lowered my head...
...
I walked back and fought the sudden pain in my head. What was that?! Like claws ripping at my very mind. Ah! Ah. So that was what carrying the stone felt like.
It didn't feel good at all, but then again, what did in this merciful realm?
To watch that caparace wriggle, it really did not feel good at all. Like watching myself, my last spasms. Ah! Stop thinking about it! I had to go, I had to carry the stone!
But I could not detach my sight from the throbbing body! Even after absorbing all the mana, it still twitched and all I wanted to do was hug it and cry! I was feeling dead inside, and not the usual dead inside, real dead!
I thought I had forgot what pain felt like after all this time!
"You need more mana." The others stated around me.
So as they rubbed my shell, I started to feed on them too. It really didn't take much for us caparaces to get our fill, but there was so little to begin with and each time one fell, I could not help but tremble.
I was a mess. And they entrusted the fate of the realm to me? Ah!
Just because I endured a bit better hardly justified that trust.
Now there were only two of us standing. She expected me to feed on her but I shook her off. I was good. I had enough to reach the next relay.
"I will go with you." She said.
Okay, admit it! You just don't want to stay here! To decay and wait for death.
Well I welcomed the company!
We left the fault and went straight into the deadly plains. She had to slow down because I could not keep the pace, I had a rock in my entrails!
I hadn't missed that dry desert! It was mostly rock, mostly cracked with a coat of sand too thin to really matter. In the eternal dusk, it felt like we were the ones walking on the sky and the stars above were the ground.
The rule was simple. Look straight! Keep going and never stop! If you stopped you died.
So we spent hours just walking.
Within minutes we had dropped our shells and let them drag on the ground, even if it made moving more arduous. Still better than trying to fight the invisible weight crashing on us.
Ah! I had slipped while walking. No joke, that stone was really the worst.
But the caparace with me pushed me to get back, because she sure didn't want to take my place! For one the effort would be unbearable!
"How do you feel?" She asked.
"I can keep going." But then I added: "Also, I have a thousand weird thoughts in my head."
She didn't expect that, pressed a bit to get by my side.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. I have an urge to write. But we can't stop! But I really want to."
"What good would it do to write in a place where no one goes? The words would get erased before you were done anyway."
"Shut up, I know that!"
It was hard to describe, that weight on my head. Like a hammer that kept falling, and didn't kill but hurt all the same. Ah! Filling me with useless ideas.
"Do you know what void monsters were used for, back when humans ruled the realm?"
She dared not look at me and feigned interest: "What?"
In reality she had not understood a word of what I had asked. And me neither. Void monsters? Humans? I could hardly get what any of that evan began to mean!
I just knew I had to deliver the stone to a human. Well, that some other caparace would, eventually.
"They amused toddlers! They were like a toy and when the baby broke it, he would get scolded."
"How does that help us carry the stone?"
"It doesn't." I sighed. "Let's keep going."
She could not understand what it felt like, to have your body devoured by the realm, and a stone churning inside you, and those weird thoughts on top. A feverish trifecta! Ah, I could not wait to get rid of it.
But also, let's not get to the relay too quickly.
We had time, right? I had a good time. I had a bad time. I only had bad times. I could not remember a single second of my life that had been worth living. Apart for the time the great voice talked to me. If not for that voice...
She was trailing back and losing speed. Her tiny legs struggled against the rock.
I slowed down as well.
"What are you doing?" She scolded. "Keep moving."
"The relay won't be far, just hold on."
"So what?! When we arrive, I'll just be more food for you."
Ah. She was right. There was always someone worse off than you. She didn't even get to have her insides torn at her every moves.
She slowed down even more. Not voluntarily. She was just, straining. And I slowed down again.
There was little strength between the two of us, so the caparace didn't even say anything this time around. She simply, tried.
But you know, this realm is merciful.
I had stopped with her. I was caressing her shell with my legs and I had no idea what was going through my mind. Mostly stuff like: ah! Ah! I was going to die! Ah! It hurt! Ah! What was I doing, I was betraying everyone!
And also: don't leave me.
"Eh. Get up! You can still make it to the relay!"
She was still alive. Just not moving anymore. All she wanted from me was to feed. But there was practically nothing left for me to take from her.
Come on! I was currently the savior of the realm, so I said, get up! Just her, just for another hour!
Someone... Help her...
Not even the great voice could reach her. I was walking alone in the immensity.
Ah! I was used to it.
I thought I was used to it but the strain was getting to me as well. A dizziness that made the realm all hazy. My whole body burned and I swore I felt like melting! Like my shell was getting liquefied. Ah! Just a little longer now!
The relay was in sight. It wasn't much, just a ridge that endured in the deadly plains. But there were caparaces. We endured.
I greeted them, they greeted me. They were haggard and broken. I told them about the stone and the human.
And then I lowered my head.