After everything that happened at the market, we returned to the orphanage. For a long time, there was only silence between us. I could see Elio occasionally glancing at me, obviously still upset about what had just happened.
But we remained silent for a while, and unable to hold it in any longer, I opened my mouth to say something, but it was Elio who spoke first.
"I know you're angry about what happened earlier, but please don't cause any more trouble. We have to admit that we are just abandoned children. Just being able to eat every day is better than starving to death," the girl said, making my fists clench tightly.
It was truly humiliating for me as a man to be unable to do anything, even to defend them.
...
The walk from the market to the orphanage was filled with silence, just the two of us, with only the children occasionally chattering, pointing at things or imagining themselves somewhere.
"Tch!" That was all I could manage to let out, and even at dinnertime, I had no appetite at all and simply left the table.
My grandmother and the children looked at me confused, but Elio was the only one I could see who seemed indifferent to my behavior.
No! I wasn't angry with Elio or anyone else. I was just angry and disappointed with myself for feeling useless.
Click!
My grandmother came back into my room, carrying a bowl of oatmeal in her hands. "Come on, eat while it's warm. You haven't eaten all day, right? Elio told me everything about today," she said, placing the porridge on the old nightstand beside my bed.
My grandmother didn't leave immediately, instead she sat beside my bed, staring at me. Seeing her wrinkled yet calm and reassuring face, I finally mustered up the courage to ask.
"Grandma... why did you give us hope by taking care of us? Why didn't you just let us go, and you wouldn't have to suffer like this?" I said, numbly, like someone who had given up hope. But Grandma didn't change her expression. She remained calm and now even smiled, her hand reaching out to gently stroke the loose hair on my forehead.
"Don't you want to say anything else?" Grandma said, as if wanting me to express all my worries.
Unfortunately, all the words that had been forming in my head couldn't come out, and they just stopped in my throat.
Grandma was still looking at me meaningfully, and for the umpteenth time, I felt a glimmer of comfort in my anxiety as I stared at the wrinkles on her old face.
"If you don't want to say anything else, eat your porridge and go to sleep. Tomorrow will be much better than today," Grandma finally said, leaving me alone. But her words before closing the door that night touched my heart.
"My son Pio, hope can sometimes be very painful, but from the pain of hope, we all find the meaning of life. You shouldn't be afraid to hope and give hope," Grandma said softly as she left.
That night, I fell asleep quite late after eating Elio's bland porridge, thinking about several things.
...
The next morning, I woke up to the sound of footsteps again. But that morning seemed different, because the voices in the room weren't those of children, but of strangers I'd never met before.
'Who are they?' I thought aloud as I peered at their faces through the crack in the door, but I still couldn't remember any of them.
Shortly after, an old man dressed as a religious leader entered, followed by two young aides, one male and one female, whose faces always looked serious.
Grandma was serving them a rather sumptuous meal (in my opinion). Usually, Elio only had porridge and a little potato soup on the menu. But this time, there were some cakes and meat, which I don't know where or when she bought them.
The suspicious-looking old man ate some of the cakes and other food, with no expression of condescension or flattery; he just had a straight, serious face.
"Sis!"
Oh my! My heart nearly stopped when Sonya, the little girl, tapped me on the shoulder while I was eavesdropping. If I hadn't seen her innocent face, I would have bashed her head.
"What are you doing in..." Sonya's words were cut off after I covered her mouth. She was speaking in such a casual tone, even though I was desperately trying not to make any suspicious sounds.
"Shhh! Let's just talk in whispers. Tell me who those strange people are?" I asked the little girl, and Sonya seemed to understand and gave me a little information.
I now knew that they were from a sect that emerged after a devastating war, a mysterious sect with very secretive rituals, the Timol fellowship, as people had been talking about at the market a few days ago. They would recruit young people, especially those under 20, but not too young, because they said they needed many pioneers to expand their faith.
"Truly strange people," I whispered, while Sonya only occasionally gave me a quizzical glance.
...
Soon afterward, I saw the grandmother and the old man talking. It wasn't clear what they were saying because the door I was hiding in was quite far from the banquet table. However, the grandmother's words stopped after Elio entered the room and said something.
The grandmother looked surprised and immediately sent Elio back with the other children. I also saw the old man take something out of his robe pocket and try to give it to the grandmother. But unexpectedly, the grandmother pushed the small bag away, dropping it, revealing it to be filled with gold coins.
Because of the slight argument, I was about to go out to help the grandmother, but before I knew it, the boy arrived. Berto suddenly grabbed my arm and shook his head.
I understood that this was an adult matter, but I couldn't let strangers cause a commotion in my place. Luckily, the people from the Timol Monastery quickly left, so I didn't have to add to the commotion.
I could see my grandmother then sit down listlessly, looking sadly and confusedly at the scattered coins on the floor. I watched her like that for a long time until she decided to leave.