Originally, Ian thought the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher going missing on the very first day was already the most ridiculous plot twist ever, but who could've guessed there were even more big shots lurking around Hogwarts.
Just yesterday, this guy was running his mouth about the evil Witch Essence Party and calling Aurora a "bad woman" every other sentence, and now even he managed to completely blow Ian's mind!
"My Hogwarts journey really doesn't need to be this 'exciting', thanks!" Ian scrambled up and rushed to the washroom to splash his face, but he still couldn't process all the bizarre new revelations from today.
William, looking absolutely panicked, followed him into the washroom. He just stood behind Ian, totally lost, his voice shaky and nearly crying, "Seriously, Ian, you have to save me. My dad's keeping quiet, but my mum's already given my room to my little brother!"
William's rant was getting more and more absurd.
"Isn't your mum a Muggle?" Ian remembered their introductions at the start of term; William's mother was supposed to be just a Muggle handling everything at home.
How could she possibly be going crazy with a bunch of radical wizards?
"My mum's name is Selma Goring."
He saw that Ian wasn't reacting.
So he kept going.
"I swear I'm not lying. My mum only went into the Wizarding World because our family fell from grace ages ago. She's able to control my dad because she's actually super extreme."
"She's cut my dad's hand off three times."
The little green-haired boy sounded like he was about to break down crying.
"If I don't join you, my family will definitely beat me to death. My grandpa literally said last night they'd just pretend they never gave birth to a useless idiot like me who can't seize opportunities."
"Even if an owl rides a Flying Broom, it wouldn't get your family's message to you this fast." Ian started brushing his teeth, speechless now, while William's reflection in the mirror just looked like one giant frown.
"My family uses an Alchemy gadget from Grandpa. It's this little box... I always thought it was the German Aurors' communicator." William ran straight to his bed, grabbed a tiny trinket and brought it back to the washroom. Ian had wanted to shut the door with his foot, but William squeezed through the gap before he could.
"I have to pee."
Bubbles still in his mouth, Ian kept brushing his teeth. The peppermint mouthwash he bought at Hogwarts Village was way better than the toothpaste he brought from the Muggle World.
Some things in the Wizarding World really seem old-fashioned, like they missed the memo on modern times. But in other fields, the Muggle World probably won't catch up in decades.
Guess you win some, you lose some.
"Go ahead, do your thing. Mine's way smaller than yours anyway." William apparently had done some sneaky observing, but all he was thinking about now was showing off his alchemy communicator.
It was a palm-sized box, a bit like a pillbox, and after William fiddled with it for a bit, turning the little pills inside, some lines would appear.
The lines would fade away slowly after a while.
"What's this?" Ian didn't want to gamble on his roommate having any decency left, so he decided he could wait a bit longer. Besides, William's toy had seriously caught his attention.
[Ancient Alchemy (Level 1, 76/100)]
He had been studying Teacher Mara's alchemy lessons too, but what he'd learned so far was clearly different from whatever this little box of William's was using.
"Is it a cipher for sending messages?"
Ian could only half-guess aloud. Looking at this ultra-spy-like little alchemy gadget, his expression toward William grew seriously suspicious.
This family's background might be a lot more complicated than he thought!
Sure enough—
William nodded. "Yeah, I always thought it was standard-issue for German Aurors, so they could stay in touch on missions."
"My dad works at the British Ministry of Magic and he doesn't have one... When I was little, I kept wondering why German Aurors' gear was so much cooler than ours."
Judging by William's miserable face, it was obvious this wasn't standard-issue for Aurors. He didn't come right out and say it, but Ian already got what he meant.
"So your grandpa's actually a Witch Essence Party spy?" Ian asked, testing the waters. William, squeezed in the washroom, widened his eyes and actually corrected Ian's wording.
"Shouldn't we call ourselves the glorious Saints? 'Witch Essence Party' is way too easy for people to misunderstand." This guy's skin was definitely thicker than a dragon's hide.
The Witch Essence Party label was clearly the one he was ranting about non-stop yesterday.
"I'm not a Saint though." Ian's answer made William's eyes practically pop out, panic spreading across his face. He grabbed Ian's arm and started begging.
"Don't lie to me! You're so close to Little Grindelwald. You must have been groomed as a new Saint since you were a kid—you're bound to be Little Grindelwald's right-hand man one day."
"My grandpa says you'll be at the center of power." From the way William turned himself into a burrito in bed last night, he clearly spent all night secret-contacting his family.
He called "Sir" so smoothly, it practically rolled off his tongue.
Must run in the family genes or something.
"Didn't you say last night your family always told you how bad Grindelwald was?" Ian tried shaking William's hand off, but it wouldn't budge.
"They did! When I was a kid, they always told me Grindelwald stories, and I thought they were just fairytale warnings. Turns out, the truth is, they were just reminiscing about the glory days."
William looked totally shattered, like his whole worldview just fell off a cliff. No doubt he'd taken a big hit—after all, the "they" in question were clearly the cultural anomaly of the family.
"I don't think you're cut out to be a Saint…" Ian patted William on the shoulder, genuinely sincere—growing up in a family like that and still managing to keep his morals until yesterday? That's talent if there ever was any!
"No, I want to be a Saint! I barely slept last night." William seemed almost worried Ian would think he wasn't family-twisted enough, so he anxiously added more background info.
"My dad works as an Auror at the Ministry of Magic, but he's always slipping info to the guys in Knockturn Alley."
"My mum told me last night not to stress, because none of them are 'heroes of justice'. I always wondered why my family suddenly had money to buy me a magic wand."
William lowered his voice, afraid Michael out there might hear.
Good lord!
This family really is addicted to playing spy games!
Down-and-out as they are, they'd still find ways to be undercover? Tenacity, I guess.
"You only just found out your own family's true colors last night? Also, can't your grandpa give you a recommendation or something?" Ian felt like he'd never really known his roommate until now.
"Well, apparently they thought I might become the family's first good guy, but after hearing about you guys last night, now they don't want me to be the first good guy anymore."
"And yeah, my grandpa really is a spy for the Saints…"
William hemmed and hawed, then with the most awkward look ever, finally got these words out:
"But because he's not that skilled at magic, he never managed to officially join the Saints, so now he's set his hopes on me to fulfill his lifelong dream..."
So he's just a nameless, unpaid, diehard fangirl? Hard to imagine how wild things got among European wizards back in those days.
"I'll try writing you a recommendation letter, but who knows if it'll work. Seriously, I'm not some new-generation Saint—I'm just friends with Aurora, that's it."
"She doesn't seem interested in expanding the Saints either."
Ian said, then pushed William out of the washroom.
Bang.
He closed the washroom door.
"Thank you, Ian! Your recommendation letter will definitely work!" William's voice was just outside the washroom, full of excitement, like he'd just gotten a new lease on life.
Just one thin door apart.
It still sounded like William was right next to him.
William was still thanking him.
Ian, however, found it really hard to pee…