Nicolas looked around the library with unfocused eyes. The place was a mess, to put it lightly. Plastic cups and food wrappers littered the floor while the once precious books that brought fame and prestige to this place lay burnt or forgotten.
Some people continued to play around in a drunken stupor while others had passed out completely. Some of those people looked like they would never get up again.
He looked at the plastic cup in front of him. A trace of foul smelling liquid remained at the bottom.
Just what in the name of the Goddess was he doing?
The whole idea was to get revenge for Addi and change the monastery for the better. His surroundings showed nothing of the sort. It was nothing but a debaucherous gathering of young fools whose only goal in life was to get high and fornicate.
The worst part was he could hardly bring himself to care anymore. He was just so tired, and his body wasn't moving like it was supposed to. His limbs were stiff, and it hurt to breathe.
Another reason for his apathy sat right in front of him.
Maria was playing with her baton idly, a blank smile on her face. Despite losing everything that mattered to her, she had remained by his side, supporting him in his endeavors.
No, her work had gone beyond simple support. She had practically taken control of this useless group. He should have been furious with her. He was Oscar's son. Technically, this place now belonged to him. He should have been doing everything in his power to reign her in and regain control. Yet, just like with everything else, he just didn't seem to care anymore.
The room swayed slightly as he stared ahead. His mind was addled, and he had trouble focusing.
Well, aren't you going to start putting them to work?
Nicolas looked to his right to find his other self talking to him. He looked impatient and was probably just as annoyed at the scene before him as Nicolas himself was.
"This is Maria's grand celebration. They deserve to rest and relax." Nicolas replied half-heartedly.
This may be a party, but these people are certainly not getting any rest.
"Why are you here?" Nicolas asked.
I've come to say my farewells. We've gotten rid of those three, and you're now the new head of the Duurin family. I have no reason to exist in that broken little mind of yours.
Nicolas let out a short laugh.
"What do you mean? Aren't you just a part of me? Where can you even go?"
His other self shook his head. It was the first time Nicolas had seen him show doubt.
I don't know why, but I think something is coming to an end.
Nicolas nodded.
His body was feeling more sluggish by the minute, and the pain in his head was increasing despite his attempts at drowning it out with alcohol.
"So you feel it as well. Looks like we'll be seeing Addi and Rosetta soon enough."
His other self wore a complicated expression.
"I wanted to do something with what little time we had. It didn't matter what it was as long as it proved that I lived. As long as I could get that bastard for what he did to mother."
Nicolas wasn't sure which one of him was speaking now. It didn't matter really. They were one and the same after all.
Looking out over the library, it was impossible to say that he'd made a positive difference. The once serene library hard turned into a hedonistic hell.
In the corner, the young girl Joan was wiping the blood from Cait's face. Maria had grown bored with her quickly since she didn't seem to react to pain very much.
Nicolas looked back to his right. His other self had disappeared. He shrugged and poured himself another cup, falling asleep soon after.
Sometime later, he awoke to find himself lying in Maria's lap.
"What time is it?" He asked groggily.
Maria looked down at him with a smile.
"It's one o'clock in the morning." She replied.
Nicolas nodded. He swallowed and winced in pain. His throat was dry and raw.
"I need some water. Do we have any here?" He croaked.
Maria thought for a moment before answering.
"Actually, now that you mention it, I don't think we have anything besides the alcohol now."
How could she have planned all this and not thought about easy access to water?
"I'll go get some from the bathroom sink." He mumbled, trying to get to his feet.
"Ah, not much point in that, I'm afraid."
"Why?
"Pipes are frozen. The water's not flowing anymore."
"Shit." He cursed as he sat back down.
His head was spinning, and his mouth was bone dry. He tried to swallow, but it only served to irritate his throat further. Maria began to stroke his hair.
"Why are you so relaxed?" he asked irritably.
"No reason, I guess. If there's no water, there's no water. You just gotta live without it."
"I don't think that's how it works." He mumbled.
It was useless. He could barely lift his head. He let himself relax and blinked.
"What time is it?" He asked.
"It's three fifteen in the morning."
"I see."
Maria looked down at him again, her expression twisted in a rare expression of concern.
"Wow, you really don't look good, Nick." She said with a sigh. "Well, guess we ought to do something about this. Come on."
She grabbed him by the hand and pulled him to his feet. If she hadn't been holding him, his legs would have buckled and he would have fallen back down in a heap.
"Where we going?" He mumbled.
"To get you some water and fresh air, obviously. If you fall asleep again at this rate, you probably won't wake up again."
The two made their way up to the roof of the library building. The pain of climbing the stairs was excruciating and progress was slow, but with Maria's help he managed to make it.
When they stepped outside, Nicolas gasped.
"The snow. It's stopped."
"Looks like it for the moment, anyway." Maria replied.
Nicolas looked up at the sky. He could see the moon and stars in great detail. They were so bright they managed to illuminate the snowcapped peaks surrounding them. Forgetting about the cold, he could only stare in awe.
"Here, take this. You won't be able to drink it right away, but if we leave it near a fire, it should be good in no time. Nick?"
Distracted by the night sky, it took him a moment before he turned towards Maria. She was holding a plastic cup filled with snow to him.
"What? Oh, thanks." He said, taking it from her.
"Sure is nice to see a clear sky again, even if it's freezing." Maria said.
"If you brought me up here just to get me some snow to melt, then let's go back downstairs." Nicolas said, turning back towards the door.
While the fresh air had stirred him somewhat, he didn't want to stay out in the uncomfortable cold any longer than necessary. At that moment he felt something cold and soft strike the back of his neck followed by the awful sensation of cold water trickling down his back.
"What the hell was that for?" he yelled, turning back towards Maria only to have a second snowball land squarely on his face.
Maria grinned and stuck her tongue out at him. Her smile was mischievous, an expression that brought him back to their childhood away from all the troubles they faced now. It felt warm to look at it.
"Looks like I still got it." She said proudly.
Nicolas wiped the snow from his face, and once again turned to leave. He tried to move faster this time. Honestly, what was she thinking? Bringing him out in this condition?
"This is stupid. Let's go inside and..."
"Nick."
Maria's voice stopped him in his tracks.
"Are you really gonna leave a girl alone up here?"
Nicolas thought about her words for a moment. It might have been the alcohol messing with his head but, strangely enough, he felt happier up here than back in that stinking hole that used to be a library. Even his weakness seemed momentarily forgotten, and he was able to move around by himself.
He looked down at the snow around his feet and remembered times past where he had had snowball fights with Maria and the others.
To his own surprise, he smiled and almost laughed. Was it really this simple? Whether it was the fresh air or Maria's encouragement, he felt a bit of life returning to him. Killing his father, running the monastery. None of it seemed to matter in the face of having a childish snowball fight beneath the stars.
Bending down, he took a handful of snow and, thinking he was being fast, rounded on Maria and hurled the snowball towards her. It flew harmlessly to her right.
"That's no good Nick. You have to use your special ice magic attacks and shout them out. You remember that, right?"
Nicolas felt a flush of embarrassment as Maria reminded him of his childhood habits. He had once pretended to be a wise wizard during games like these, flinging ice spells with reckless abandon.
"What was it you used to say? Was it 'ultra ice blast' or something?" Maria continued, poking more holes in his pride.
"Shut up!" Nicolas yelled as he threw another snowball. This one managed to hit Maria in the chest.
"Hey you actually got me! Now I can get serious. Don't forget, Nick, I've never lost a snowball fight!"
Nicolas froze. He remembered the countless thrashings he had received from Maria in their youth.
"Maria wai-"
His words were silenced as a snowball hit his face. Snow entered his mouth, and he spluttered as he tried to get the frigid substance out. Meanwhile, he continued to be pounded by a myriad of snowballs from every direction.
"Like that? I think I'll call it the 'ice storm'. You still think it's cool to name attacks, right?" Maria laughed.
It was a two-pronged attack, both physical and mental in nature. He glimpsed Maria from behind his arm that he'd raised to defend himself.
He charged at her, defense be damned. Snowballs relentlessly stuck him, but he didn't stop. In less than five seconds, he had reached Maria but even then he didn't stop. He tackled the shocked Maria to the ground.
He rolled off her, and the two lay there on their backs, panting loudly. The night sky spread out above them, the stars and moon casting a pale light on the snow.
How ridiculous, Nicolas thought to himself. The monastery had played host to so much tragedy over the last few days. He felt awful, and Maria's sanity had clearly passed the point of no return. Despite all that, out of all the possible actions and reactions, they had started a snowball fight of all things. It was completely absurd.
"That was against the rules." Maria said between breaths.
"Who said we were playing a game?" Nicolas countered.
Maria laughed again, louder than before.
"Still feel cold?" She asked, turning to him.
Nicolas shook his head. He felt warmer than he had in a long time. The brief snowball fight had left him exhausted to the point that he wasn't sure if he could move again. But he was content.
The two of them spent some time staring silently up at the sky.
"Addi used to love looking up at the stars." Maria whispered.
Nicolas looked at her. Perhaps he wanted to see sadness in her eyes. Any hint of emotion other than that empty smile. He was left disappointed.
"Rosetta, on the other hand, she couldn't have cared less about the night sky. She only wanted to stay in her room."
Nicolas couldn't think of anything to say, so he remained silent.
"Hey Nick, I know you've been thinking about, you know, ending things on your own terms, but I think you shouldn't go through with it."
"What are you talking about?" He asked sharply.
"I'm saying you at least should live on. It's too late for the rest of us, but I've seen it in your eyes. Ever since Oscar kicked the bucket, you've gotten more and more, how should I say, normal."
Nicolas chuckled dryly.
"Aren't you forgetting about my illness?" He asked.
"Oscar only ever had that hack of a local doctor look at you, and that was well over a year ago. You can't be sure that whatever is wrong with you can't be fixed. Besides, I think that doctor only ever told Oscar what he wanted to hear."
Nicolas went silent. Her words were so straightforward, so sane sounding that he almost considered it.
"Why are you saying this now?" He asked, voice faltering slightly.
Maria stared up at the sky silently, her smile gone.
"I don't give a crap what happens to anyone else, but I think I can be happy if you keep on living and remember me. You're the only one who's seen the real, ugly me after all. Not even Addi could say that."
Nicolas had indeed seen a completely different side of Maria over the last few days. She'd always seemed so mature and in control before, almost unreachable to a loser like himself. He hated to admit it, but deep down, he felt happy she was even more broken than he was.
"You know I can't do what you're asking. Look at me. You should be able to tell I don't have long left."
Every time he looked in the mirror, he had grown paler and more gaunt. He probably looked like a walking skeleton at this point.
Maria stayed silent for a moment. When she spoke, her words were quick and tense.
"You don't know that. Your mom died because she never got any treatment. Hell, as far as I know, neither of you were even diagnosed. Go see a proper doctor, Nick. Please."
As if to remind him of the futility of that idea, the stars disappeared behind a cloud and snow once again began to fall. Even so, Maria looked at him. Her bright green eyes pleading.
"Ok, I'll go see a doctor."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
Something told him that the promise he'd just made was empty. Nobody was getting off the mountain alive. That's what he believed, looking at the falling snow, and that's why he didn't ask about what Maria intended to do with herself. A part of him didn't want to know.
"Come on, Nick. Let's go get you and that snow warmed up."
Nicolas nodded and allowed himself to be pulled up by Maria, who suddenly embraced him.
"Thank you." She whispered. "For one last happy memory."
*
An hour or two later, everyone who had been involved in the cult stood on the rooftop eagerly awaiting his speech. They were all out of their minds as far as Nicolas was concerned. A deadly cocktail of alcohol, drugs and fear had turned them into little more than rabid dogs.
In the distance, Cait lay in the snow, still unconscious. She had yet to wake after the beatings she had received from several cultists. She could have been dead as far as he knew. The young girl Joan knelt nearby in silent prayer. Nicolas didn't know why she was still following them around and, oddly enough, none of the others seemed interested in interacting with her in any way. She simply stood to the side, observing. Nicolas didn't care. She could look at this pointless farce as long as she pleased.
He looked over at Maria. She was looking out over the crowd; a satisfied expression on her face.
Both of them stood on a raised path near the edge of the roof while those gathered looked up at them.
Without waiting for permission, Maria grabbed her baton and swung it wildly at a metal pole, creating a loud clanging noise and getting everyone's attention.
"Heeey, everyone! How are you all feeling tonight?!"
There were roars of delight from the crowd. Nicolas looked on with disapproval. It looked more like a concert than a victory celebration. Maria clapped her hands and cheered, encouraging the crowd to follow along.
"At long last, the rotten people who kept us locked away on this mountain are dead!"
Nicolas remembered the faces of those who once controlled them. Methaeus, Marianne and his father. The resentment from the former orphans that had been boiling over for years was bound to explode at some point, and so it had. He couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen next.
"We are free, so let's party like it's the last day of our lives!"
The crowd erupted in cheers. Some danced, and others mindlessly jumped up and down in a mad flurry of movements. Some men and women began to couple up and take pleasure in each other's touch. Nicolas looked away in disgust.
Maria stood in front of the crowd, arms raised and a mad grin on her face. She stood where he was supposed to stand. It was clear the crowd was here for her and not him. However, he felt no jealousy. He didn't care at all for the admiration of these people. Maria looked over him, and her smile changed to something more controlled, a sweeter, more private smile just for him. He found himself smiling back.
"Listen up!" She yelled. "Our hero, the savior and new leader, has a few words for you all, so shut up for a damn minute!"
The noise of revelry died down quickly as Maria yelled and slammed her baton against the metal pole. Nicolas, caught off guard by the sudden announcement, stepped towards her slowly.
Maria looked at him and reached out her hand, pulling him up to the raised path. She nodded to him, eyes full of confidence that he himself lacked.
He looked out over the crowd. Mad, expectant eyes leering at him in anticipation. He took a deep breath.
"Until just a few days ago, my life held no meaning. I spent every day just going through the motions."
He spoke quietly, nothing like the way Maria had spoken. He simply spoke as Nicolas, the weird kid that spent most his time in his room, not as Oscar's heir.
"I know it was the same for all of you. We had no motivation, no prospects for the future. We would have lived and died in this monastery, and nothing would have changed."
Some of the crowd grew solemn. A few nodded, but most misread the atmosphere and simply cheered and clapped loudly.
"Even so, we took matters into our own hands and, with the guidance of the goddess, we managed to remove those who clung so desperately to power. Those who did everything they could to use us and keep us down."
He thought back to the death of Oscar. That's when everything had started to change. He looked at Maria, who gave him a thumbs up in return.
"With the will of the Goddess done, we can now start our new lives in bliss! Our lives now have meaning once again!" He shouted, raising his hands.
According to the words of the Priestess, those that served the Goddess well would be granted happier lives when the cycle repeated. Nicolas didn't believe in all that, but he hoped to at least be born with a loving family and healthy body in his next life.
"Let us celebrate this momentous occasion and give thanks to the Goddess, for soon our new lives will begin!"
The crowd cheered for him and returned to their partying. Nicolas approached Maria.
"Think I've lost my savior powers." He mumbled quietly.
Maria laughed.
"You've just gotten yourself back. That's all. Probably thanks to getting rid of your rotten father and those others, right?"
Nicolas shook his head.
"That might be part of it, but I think most of it is thanks to you."
"Huh?" Maria looked at him in surprise.
The expression was so unusual for her that Nicolas forgot how to speak for a moment.
"I don't think I need to take over from my father after all." He said slowly.
Maria looked at him with curiosity but waited silently for him to finish.
"How do I say this?" Nicolas scratched his head. "It's been fun, just working alone with you. I think that's all I really needed. Having someone to care about was all I ever really needed." He muttered, looking to the side and avoiding eye contact.
Maria's shocked expression gradually turned into a sad smile.
"Nick. Why you gotta go and say something like that in the final hour? You're making this so much more difficult than it needs to be."
"Sorry, guess I've never been good with people." He said as he looked back at her with a small smile.
Maria laughed out loud.
"Well, that's true." She stood up and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for giving me one thing to be happy about." She whispered in his ear before stepping back.
"Maria, wait-"
She stepped away and turned to face the crowd
"Everyone, a toast!"
The crowd turned to face Maria who was taking something out of a cardboard box she'd brought to the rooftop.
"I have a very special wine for tonight straight from Oscar's grand collection. Trust me, it's much better than that paint thinner we've been having!"
She presented a large bottle of expensive-looking wine to the crowd before her and began to pour it into glasses, which were also stored in the box. One by one, she handed the glasses out to the crowd.
Finally, she gave one to Nicolas, her hand lingering on his for a while. She then turned to the crowd. She raised the glass and waited for the crowd to follow.
"Let's live happily! Cheers!" She shouted and took a sip.
The crowd eagerly followed and drank deeply from their glasses. Nicolas peered into the glass. The red liquid reminded him of the gruesome scene in the cathedral. He hesitated a moment and even considered throwing the glass away. However, in the end he decided to join Maria in this final act, forcing it down his throat.
The effect took a few moments to become obvious. A person coughed here and there while others began muttering of headaches.
After another few moments, people were falling to the floor, clutching at their throats. A scene that just a few moments ago had been one of energy and delight had devolved into a feeble struggle for existence.
Nicolas saw Sarah and Ruth on the ground. Sarah was crying through the pain while Ruth had already gone silent, blood-red eyes staring blankly up at the night sky. Diskin was looking straight at Maria, fury in his eyes. However, he couldn't hold it for long and soon fell on his face, never to move again.
Nicolas began to feel his throat tighten, his legs go weak. Maria had put something much more lethal than any recreational drug into the wine. But that was ok, he thought. He didn't want to die wasting away in his bedroom, anyway. If the Goddess' teachings were right, he would be reborn into a healthy body with a loving family in the next life. Then he would finally be happy. He silently prayed for the chance to meet Maria again in the next life as he fell to his knees.
"That's odd. I don't think I put any into our glasses."
Nicolas looked up and saw Maria staring down at him with a thoughtful expression on her face. He took a deep breath and was relieved to find his throat clear. It had all been his imagination.
Slowly he got to his feet, knees shaking slightly.
"You really are such a hypochondriac." Maria said with a sweet smile.
Nicolas looked around the rooftop. The corpses of all the cult members lay in heaps all over the place.
"Why did you do this?" he asked, his voie trembling.
Maria shrugged.
"They made Rosetta's and your lives a living hell. Of course, they had to be punished. Just like those other three."
Her voice was cold, and there was a small smile on her face as she looked out over the rooftop. Nicolas felt himself swallow.
"I'm broken, Nicolas, you should know that. Have been ever since Addi died... no, even before that maybe. And unlike you, I haven't been quite able to put myself back together."
She looked somewhat sad as she approached the edge of the roof. Nicolas felt his mouth go dry. He'd finally found someone who could give him all the fulfillment he could need. Why did it have to be taken from him again?
"Don't be sad, Nick. You almost brought me back to the brink. Heck, the only reason I lasted so long was because of you. So, thanks, I guess."
She gave him another sad smile. Nicolas took a few quick steps towards her.
"Don't even think about trying to stop me, Nick. I mean look at how many people I've killed. There's only one thing I deserve, and that's becoming a cold lump of flesh at the bottom of the library."
She took further steps towards the edge.
"With this, everyone I hated in this fucking place is dead, along with some that I loved. Nick, please live on and think of me sometimes, yeah?"
He ran
Without thinking, he ran. Maria turned slowly at his approach, mouth hanging slightly open. He rushed at her and grabbed her in an embrace.
"I'm not letting you go alone."
"Nick, come on."
"I don't have much time, so I'd rather go out with you."
Maria stood there silently. At that moment, the door to the rooftop shook and slowly opened. She sighed and looked at Nicolas.
"Oh, looks like they actually came." Maria said, quickly stepping away from the edge. "Let's have one final little chat. Our friends deserve that much."
Nicolas let her step down and let out a sigh of relief. It was time to play the part of a villain, one final time.
He turned around just in time to see Dean and Matin step out onto the roof.