Ellie's POV
Tak.
Tak.
Takatak.
The sound that has always been stable, smooth, and continuous…felt like a mocking tone in my head. It was as though a hammer kept hitting the nail in an irregular beat.
It was the sound of my keyboard—with letters worn and faded, while my thin, slender fingers hovered over them.
They were trembling.
The letters… forming three sentences in a paragraph—the only content I was able to make after hours of sitting at this chair, were blurry and unrecognizable. It was like a madman or an illiterate had typed them in.
A second later, I realized it was because of my eyes. Tears formed in the corner, with the trembling of my fingers, my chin quivered.
I was suppressing a sob.
I, Eleanor Crane, have always had a strong mind and a brave heart. But this… that paper placed in the corner of my table was something I couldn't take in.
I was in shambles.
The longer I stared at the big, bold letters, the stronger the urge to crumple it…filled me. Taking a few deep breaths, I stood in haste and grabbed them—the divorce papers. I went out of the room, leaving the laptop open, its bright screen the only light in that dark space.
My chest felt heavy. Still, I was able to grab the keys, rush to the garage, and hop in my car. I wasn't sure what I could do with these suffocating, unbearable feelings, but I wanted to try. Again.
I wanted to see him. For the last time.
Maybe…there was still a chance. For me. For us. For this marriage.
Once I was on the road, I stepped on the gas, and the car, like a speedboat parting the water, I drove like I own the street. There was no need to be in a hurry. I knew he was still there. I was certain…but at the back of my mind, there was this little voice telling me to be quick.
Quick, Ellie. He might still love you.
Like love is something you can catch if you arrive in time.
The glaring lights of the streetlights and vehicles passing by, for the first time, did not bother me, even when I wasn't wearing my glasses. Several minutes later, I arrived at the apartment building where my husband, Daniel, was staying.
But before I could park my car, he walked out of the door…with a beautiful woman, maybe younger than I was, clinging to his arms.
My grip tightened on the steering wheel, knuckles whitening. I gasped for air, as if I were submerged underwater. The betrayal was right in front of my eyes. But what hurt me the most…was knowing I was the only one…hurting for this ending.
Daniel smiled at that woman…as if he had never been in love before, as if he had never been married, and as if he had never hurt…me!
How can a man who promised to build a life with you change so easily?
Gritting my teeth, I watched them get in the car and then followed them. Swallowing the lump in my throat and trying my best to hold back the tears, I drove carefully.
Not long after, they stopped in front of a clinic way past its open hours, yet the lights were still on. A woman welcomed them cheerfully at the door and jokingly slapped my husband on the shoulder.
At that moment, rain fell…right in my face. The droplets were warm, yet salty, brimming with resentment and heart-rending ache.
She was pregnant!
The one thing I failed to give Daniel.
From looking at the window, my tear-flooded eyes moved to the papers on the passenger's seat. As I stared at them, I had a thought.
If something happens to me…would Daniel come back? Would he regret leaving me, pushing me away, and not even giving me another glance, or another chance to make things right again?
Would he come running to the hospital, trembling and crying, once he heard of my accident?
My knuckles turned white as my grip on the steering wheel tightened. My eyes, no matter how much I blinked and shook my head just for the tears to disappear, were still blurry and dull.
I had a feeling I wouldn't make it home. I let out a loud sob, whimpering like my toe was caught in a mousetrap. I was alone in the car, so I cried louder. I cried and cried, and then I wiped my face over and over, finally letting go of what I was holding onto.
I wiped my tears as they kept falling, as if telling myself not to cry anymore. Everything would be fine, Ellie.
Everything would be fine.
I heard vehicles honking nonstop. I closed my eyes as I buried my head in my palms. My skin tightened from fear, and my whole body trembled.
And then, it came.
I wished that...when I open my eyes again, I would be back in my office, at that time when I was finishing a novel, and Daniel peeked in, telling me that dinner was ready.
I promised I wouldn't stay, no matter how important that novel was to me; I would come and kiss him on the cheek, and then thank him for cooking, and say I love you.
Oh, God, please... let me right my wrongs... let me experience that again.