The final day of preparation was chaos.
Soldiers shouting orders, militia hauling supplies, blacksmiths hammering out last-minute repairs on damaged equipment
Jade and his crew spent the morning reinforcing the courtyard barricades, stacking wooden beams and spare furniture to create chokepoints if the raiders broke through the gates
By noon everyone was exhausted and covered in splinters.
They collapsed in their usual spot near the stables, passing around water and trying to catch their breath
The courtyard was quieter now, most of the preparation done, soldiers were doing final equipment checks while militia members sat in small groups talking in hushed voices
Jade noticed some of them sharpening weapons with expressions that ranged from grim determination to barely concealed terror
"One more day," Numerius said, wiping sweat from his face with his sleeve
"Less than that probably," Yuzon said, staring at the northern wall, "they could hit us at dawn"
"Stop being so cheerful"
Nathaniel was quiet, fidgeting with the letter he'd written last night, folded and tucked into his belt
Mataranas sat with his shield across his knees, running his thumb along the metal rim over and over
Nobody spoke for a while.
Then Yuzon broke the silence.
"I need to ask you guys something"
His voice was different, serious in a way that made everyone look up
"What?" Jade asked
Yuzon kept his eyes on the ground, "are you ready to kill someone?"
The question hung in the air like smoke.
Numerius stopped mid-drink, lowering the waterskin slowly
Nathaniel's face went pale.
"I mean actually kill," Yuzon continued, his voice steady but quiet, "not hit a dummy or knock someone down in practice, I'm talking about putting an arrow in someone's chest and watching them die"
Jade felt something cold settle in his stomach.
"We came from 2035," Yuzon said, looking up now, meeting each of their eyes, "we're from a world where most people never even see violence in person, let alone participate in it, and tomorrow we're supposed to stand on those walls and kill people who are trying to kill us"
"They're raiders," Numerius said but his voice lacked its usual confidence
"They're still people"
"People trying to murder us"
"Does that make it easier?" Yuzon asked, "I've been thinking about it all night, what it's actually going to be like when I draw my bow and aim at someone's face, someone who has a family maybe, a life back in Sturgia, and I just"
He mimed releasing an arrow.
Nathaniel made a strangled sound, "oh god I'm gonna be sick"
"We don't have a choice," Jade said, trying to sound certain, "it's us or them"
"I know that," Yuzon said, "but knowing it intellectually and being mentally prepared to actually do it are different things, we've played Bannerlord for years but it was always just pixels on a screen, numbers going down, this is going to be real blood and real screaming and real people dying"
Mataranas spoke up for the first time, his voice low, "my grandma told me stories about the last war, said her husband never came back right in the head after, wouldn't talk about what he'd seen"
"Great, that's super helpful Mat," Nathaniel said, his hands shaking slightly
"I'm just saying it affects people"
"We know it affects people!"
"Both of you shut up," Jade said, rubbing his face, trying to think
Yuzon was right, they were modern kids from a world where the worst violence most of them had experienced was maybe a fistfight or watching an R-rated movie
And tomorrow they were expected to participate in medieval combat where people got hacked apart with axes.
"Okay," Jade said finally, "you're asking if we're ready, honest answer? I don't know, I don't think anyone's ever really ready for something like this"
"That's not reassuring"
"I'm not trying to be reassuring, I'm trying to be real," Jade looked at each of them, "we didn't choose to be here, we didn't ask for this, but running away or freezing up is just gonna get us killed"
"So we just do it?" Nathaniel's voice cracked, "just turn off our morals and start stabbing?"
"It's not about morals," Yuzon said, "it's about survival, the raiders aren't coming to negotiate, they're coming to loot and burn, if we don't fight back we die"
"I know that!" Nathaniel stood up, pacing, "I know that logically but that doesn't make it easier, I've never even been in a real fistfight and now I'm supposed to kill people with a sword?"
"You don't have to," Jade said quietly
Everyone looked at him.
"If you can't do it, stay in the back, help with supplies or tend to wounded or something, nobody's gonna force you to fight"
"Aldric will"
"Then tell him you're not cut out for combat, better to admit it now than freeze up in the middle of a fight and get someone else killed"
Nathaniel stopped pacing, his face conflicted
"I'm not saying you should quit," Jade continued, "I'm saying it's an option if you really can't handle it, no shame in knowing your limits"
"There's definitely shame in it," Nathaniel muttered but he sat back down
Numerius had been quiet through the whole exchange, staring at his club
"Num?" Jade asked, "you good?"
"I don't know," Numerius said, "I keep thinking about the bandit raid, when I hit that guy with the pitchfork and he went down, I thought I'd killed him and for a second I felt"
He trailed off.
"Felt what?" Yuzon prompted
"Proud," Numerius said, his voice barely above a whisper, "like I'd accomplished something, then I realized what that meant and it made me sick"
"You were defending the village"
"I know but it still felt wrong to be happy about hurting someone"
Jade didn't have an answer for that.
They sat in silence again, the weight of tomorrow pressing down on all of them
A soldier walked past and gave them a curious look but kept moving
"I think," Yuzon said slowly, "the important thing is to acknowledge what we're about to do, not pretend it's just a game or that it doesn't matter, these are real people we might kill and we have to live with that"
"If we survive," Nathaniel added darkly
"If we survive"
Mataranas cleared his throat, "my grandma also said that soldiers who did their duty protecting people didn't come back as broken, it was the ones who enjoyed it or the ones who killed for no reason that lost themselves"
"So as long as we're fighting to protect the castle we'll be fine?" Numerius asked
"I don't think it's that simple," Mataranas said, "but it's something"
Jade thought about it, they were fighting because they had to, not because they wanted to, did that make it better?
Probably not.
But it was something to hold onto.
"Alright," he said, standing up and dusting off his pants, "here's what I think, we fight because we don't have a choice, we try not to think too hard while we're doing it, and afterward we deal with whatever we need to deal with"
"That's a terrible plan," Nathaniel said
"You got a better one?"
"No"
"Then that's what we're doing"
Yuzon nodded slowly, "one more thing, if any of us freeze up or can't do it, the rest of us cover for them, no judgment, no blame"
"Agreed," Jade said
Numerius and Mataranas nodded.
Nathaniel hesitated, then nodded too.
"Okay," Yuzon said, shouldering his bow, "I needed to say that, been eating at me since yesterday"
"Glad you did," Jade said, and he meant it
The conversation had been heavy but necessary, better to face it now than in the middle of combat
They spent the rest of the afternoon on minor tasks, checking equipment and going through formations one more time
Aldric gathered all the militia at sunset for a final briefing
"Tomorrow they come," he said, standing on a crate so everyone could see him, "you know your positions, you know what's expected, I won't lie to you, some of you won't make it through this"
Several militia members shifted uncomfortably.
"But if you hold your ground, if you trust the man next to you and do your job, we have a chance," Aldric's eyes swept across the assembly, "the walls are strong, our soldiers are trained, and the raiders have to cross open ground to reach us, those are advantages we can't waste"
He paused, letting that sink in.
"Get some sleep, eat a good breakfast, and when the horn sounds get to your positions fast, dismissed"
The militia dispersed quietly, heading to the mess hall or barracks
Jade's crew grabbed a quick dinner, nobody had much appetite
Back in the barracks the atmosphere was tense, some men were praying, others sharpening weapons or checking armor for the tenth time
Nathaniel pulled out his letter to Hilda and stared at it for a long moment before tucking it back into his belt
"You gonna give that to someone to deliver if you die?" Numerius asked
"Don't know, maybe"
"You should, she'd want to know"
Nathaniel nodded but didn't say anything.
Jade lay down on his mattress fully clothed, his spear within arm's reach
Sleep wasn't going to come easy tonight.
Outside he could hear the sound of hammers still working, soldiers making last-minute repairs
The wind had picked up, rattling the roof thatch.
Tomorrow, he thought
Tomorrow they'd find out if two weeks of training and some stat points were enough to keep them alive.
His UI flickered, showing his stats one more time before he dismissed it
Level 2 Peasant
Quest: Defend the Castle - Time Remaining: <12 Hours
He closed his eyes and tried not to think about Yuzon's question.
Are you ready to kill someone?
He didn't know.
And he wouldn't know until it happened.