I woke up. Slowly. Because apparently the universe enjoys letting me suffer.
Smell check: sterile hospital. Definitely not my bedroom. Good start.
Vision check: two huge jugs right in front of my face. Wait… jugs? My brain struggles. My brain screams. My brain mutters, "Riku… why?"
I squirm. Try to look past the… melons. And there she is. A nurse. Thank God. Not a demon.
Then it hits me: hospital. Someone brought me here after my epic bike crash. Someone… cares about me.
I shift a bit more. And… oh God. Fujiko Kanemori. Sitting there, sobbing like a toddler who just dropped their ice cream. She looks up. Sees me awake. And immediately lunges to hug me.
Except… my face ends up pressed squarely into her chest. Massive, soft, life-altering melons. I wish I could die right there. Suffocating in Fujiko Kanemori's melons? Really? That's my fate? Universe, you're cruel.
She eventually lets go. Wipes her tears. Scolds me like I just stole candy from a baby.
"You idiot! Do you know how worried I was? How many times I almost…" she trails off, shaking her head. I nod weakly, secretly hoping she forgets the face-first-melons incident. Spoiler: she doesn't.
A few hours, x-rays, and a broken arm later, I'm discharged. Crutches, sling, and still alive. Miracles do exist.
I limp back home, thinking about chips, AVs, and my tragic life. Then it happens.
Blue screen. Floating in front of my face.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," I mutter.
Then it talks.
[SYSTEM ONLINE]"FUCK YOU, I'M REAL.""NAME: LIBIDO SYSTEM""PURPOSE: GIVE YOU TASKS. COMPLETE THEM TO GAIN LIBIDO POINTS.""USABLE TO IMPROVE STATS."
I stare. My brain is bleeding internally.
[CURRENT STATS]
Strength: 0
Intelligence: 0
Charisma: 0
Pervertness: 87 (MAX)
Max pervertness? Really? That's how the universe rewards a loser like me?
The system continues:
"TO INCREASE STATS, EARN LIBIDO POINTS BY COMPLETING TASKS. TASKS WILL BE GIVEN PERIODICALLY."
Oh… that sounds horrifying. Also vaguely sexual. I hate this already.
Then, the first notification pops up. DING.
[TASK #1]"HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH MIYU TAKEDA.""DIFFICULTY: 100/100""REWARD: 10 LIBIDO POINTS"
I freeze. Coffee spills in my brain. Heart explodes silently in my chest.
Conversation… with Miyu? THE Miyu? The girl who looks like an angel and casually ignores me every time I breathe near her?
Yes. This is officially the hardest task I've ever been given. Harder than surviving bike crashes, harder than resisting life's cruel jokes, harder than… hell, even resisting AVs while doing math homework.
I glance at the screen. It's smug. Like it knows it just crushed my soul.
[TASK STATUS: IN PROGRESS]
Goddammit. My life just got a "fun" new layer of misery.
And that's how I, Riku Hayami, professional loser and pervert extraordinaire, met my new overlord: a blue, cussing system that wants me to talk to my crush.