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Early Morning.
"Ugh, so boring! These demons' mental fortitude is pathetic. I invite them to play games and they drop to their knees in terror... what an embarrassment to that trash boss Muzan."
Ever since reclaiming his patrol territory two weeks ago, the demons here had barely dared to show their faces. They either fled or hid, terrified of Kaidō's creative methods of dealing with them.
Either strung up for beatings, kidney harvesting, or subjected to pop quizzes—answer wrong and you're done. The process was worse than death. In demon circles, Kaidō was the real demon.
Captured demons faced two choices: surrender quietly or wait for sunrise and make a break for it—achieving liberation through sunbathing.
His territory had become a safe zone for humans but hell's gate for demons. New demons? Sure, you could survive here—as long as you didn't get caught.
"Whatever. Time to find somewhere to rest... oh, looks like I've got another playmate! Hehehe!"
A demon was skulking nearby, clearly hiding from something. That predatory grin returned to Kaidō's face. He crept silently behind the oblivious demon...
"He's not around, right? This is terrifying! Haven't eaten in days—gotta grab a human, even an elderly one would work. That white-haired Demon Slayer is absolutely not—"
Suddenly, a chill ran down his spine. The demon turned.
Kaidō stood there, fox mask gleaming.
"AHHH!" The demon dropped to his knees immediately, sobbing. "S-s-sir! I was wrong! Please... just make it quick!"
"...Seriously?"
Kaidō stared at the demon begging for mercy, utterly speechless.
"Fine. Who says I'm not merciful? I'll grant your wish."
"Water Breathing, Fifth Form: Blessed Rain After the Drought."
The most merciful killing technique in Water Breathing. The demon felt no pain. Before death, he even whispered, "Thank you."
Dawn was breaking over distant mountains. The sun began its ascent.
"Almost sunrise. Haven't been home in a while. Wonder how Retsuki's doing? Better check on her."
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Infinity Castle.
Muzan Kibutsuji observed through the eyes of lower-ranked demons. Fury and helplessness warred within him.
"That bastard... one day I'll kill him myself!" But remembering Doma had let Kaidō escape reignited his rage.
"Nakime! Summon Doma immediately!"
"Yes, Lord Muzan."
TWANG.
Nakime plucked her biwa. Doma materialized in the Infinity Castle. Muzan stood on the high platform, looking down at him.
"Oh my, Lord Muzan! You summoned me for—"
SLAP!
Before finishing, Muzan's hand connected with Doma's face in a devastating strike.
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Kaidō's Estate.
"Oniichan, gentler! You're too rough!"
"Ahh~ Oniichan, not there! It tickles!"
"Slower, slower! Too fast—I can't take it!"
"Right there! That feels so good, oniichan!"
Kaidō returned home to find Retsuki sprawled on the sofa like a broken doll.
Her petite frame displayed across the cushions created quite the suggestive scene. He quickly learned she'd spent the past two weeks cleaning the entire estate while also helping at the Butterfly Mansion.
Seeing how exhausted she was, Kaidō had her lie face-down on the sofa while he sat on the edge, massaging her shoulders. Turned out her shoulders were extremely sensitive. (Why do I feel like some of you have dirty minds?)
"Retsuki, do your shoulders still hurt?"
"Not anymore! I feel so relaxed! Thank you, oniichan!"
"Don't push yourself so hard. I can hire people to help clean."
"But I'm part of this family too! I want to do what I can for you, oniichan."
"You've worked hard, Retsuki."
"It's not hard at all. Welcome home, oniichan!"
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Butterfly Mansion.
"You human trafficker! Let go of Aoi and the others!"
"Yeah, yeah!!"
"What are you trying to do??"
"Pervert! Pervert!"
"You ungrateful brats! Who do you think you're talking to?? I'm a superior officer! A Hashira, damn it!"
"@＆#%#&..."
Walking toward the Butterfly Mansion, Kaidō heard shouting from quite a distance. He broke into a run.
Arriving at the scene, he spotted Tengen Uzui on the rooftop, Aoi Kanzaki and little Naho slung over his shoulders. He was yelling down at Tanjiro and the medical staff.
"Is your brain filled with mush?? You don't understand squat! I need female operatives for this mission—that's why I'm taking them!"
"But Naho isn't an operative! She's not wearing the uniform!" Sumi cried.
"Then I don't need her!" Tengen chucked Naho off the roof.
"AHHHH!!"
Just before impact, Kaidō caught her, cradling her safely.
"Got you! You okay, Naho?"
"Dragon Hashira-sama! Sob... Being thrown like that was terrifying!"
"There, there. You're safe now. Don't cry!" He patted her back soothingly, then looked up at Tengen. "I gotta say, Tengen, what you're doing is pretty questionable!"
"Hey, I don't want to do this either! But I have a mission that requires female operatives. These kids don't know what's good for them—they keep interfering."
"Bottom line—I need to take this one on the mission. She looks useless, but at least she's a Corps member!"
"We'll go in Aoi's place!" Tanjiro declared. Immediately, Inosuke and Zenitsu appeared on either side of Tengen.
"Just got back, but I've got plenty of energy left! I'll tag along! WAHAHA!"
"P-p-please let go of Aoi! Even if you're a... muscle monster, I won't back down!"
"..." Tengen studied the three boys, considering.
"Fine. All three of you come. But—you absolutely must obey me!" He emphasized this by slapping Aoi's backside.
SMACK!
"Kyaa~!"
Kaidō: ??
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Three years minimum. Maximum penalty: death."
"Hey! I'd never do anything unflamboyant to young women!"
"Then where's your hand right now? I'm telling your wives."
Tengen finally noticed his hand was still planted on Aoi's rear. Embarrassment flashed across his face.
"I... this... uh, ahem. Don't need this one either!" He tossed Aoi down.
"Seriously?? Another one!" Kaidō rushed forward, catching her mid-fall.
He set both girls down gently, then looked up at Tengen. "Count me in. I don't have any missions coming up anyway. I'll join you four."
"Now that's flamboyant! Haha! With you along, we'll complete this mission in style!"
"Dragon Hashira-sama!" Naho tugged his sleeve.
"Don't worry, Naho. When we get back, I'll take you three flying. You wanted to experience that, right?"
"Yes!" All three girls beamed.
"Let's go, Tanjiro. You two, keep up!"
"Yes, Kaidō-san!"
"Got it, White-Hair!"
"Mm!"
"Tanjiro, one thing—when we arrive, try not to say much."
"Why, Kaidō-san?"
"Ugh, you'll understand when we get there."
Kaidō knew from the original timeline that Zenitsu and Inosuke's big mouths had earned them both a punch. Tanjiro hadn't spoken out of turn, but as his junior disciple, Kaidō figured a warning couldn't hurt.
"Old man, where are we going?"
"The place where lust and desire burn brightest under neon lights—the most flamboyant entertainment venue! We're headed to the demon-infested red-light district!" Tengen looked back at the three boys.
"Listen up, you three! I am a god! You are trash! Engrave this hierarchy into your skulls! Drill it in!!"
"If I tell you to bark like dogs, you bark! If I tell you to act like monkeys, you act like monkeys!!"
"Anytime, anywhere—nod, bow, rub your hands together, and read my every expression! Show me absolute respect!!"
"I'll say it again—I AM A GOD!!"
He struck what he clearly thought was an impressive pose.
'(?д?) This guy's brain-damaged, right??' Zenitsu thought.
Tanjiro raised his hand. "What kind of god are you?"
"I am the God of Flamboyance—the Festival God!"
"Quick question," Zenitsu pointed at Kaidō standing nearby. "Why do only the three of us have to do that? Why doesn't he?"
Kaidō had just remembered he hadn't used this month's Sign-In yet. He'd been mentally commanding it, receiving "Max-Level Makeup Mastery" as a reward.
He was about to examine what it did when Zenitsu pointed at him. Confusion crossed his face.
"Is your brain full of mush?? He's also a Hashira! He's the flamboyant guy who killed Upper Rank Five! Can you compare to him??" Tengen jabbed a finger at Zenitsu's head.
"That's enough! There's a Wisteria House between here and the Entertainment District. We'll prepare there first! Follow me!"
WHOOSH.
Tengen vanished, reappearing a hundred meters away.
"I'm heading up too! Tanjiro, Inosuke, Zenitsu—do your best!" Kaidō mounted his greatsword via mental command, appearing beside Tengen in an eyeblink.
"AHHH! So fast!! They're already so far away! Just tiny dots in the distance!!"
"Is this the power of the Festival God?"
"No, that's the power of Sound Hashira Tengen Uzui and Kaidō-san."
"You two idiots! Stop talking and run!"
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Wisteria House.
Arriving at the house marked with wisteria crests, Tengen arranged for supplies to be prepared. He then led Kaidō and the three boys inside to discuss their plan.
"After infiltrating the Entertainment District, your first priority is finding my wives. I'll be gathering intel on the demon too!"
"Don't be ridiculous! Making your subordinates do personal errands to find your wives! Obviously a weird guy like you isn't popular! You just casually order around Demon Slayer Corps members for your wife hunt!" Zenitsu seemed to be venting accumulated frustration, yelling at Tengen.
"What are you babbling about?? My wives infiltrated the district to gather intelligence! Their regular reports suddenly stopped—that's why I'm here!"
"That's totally something you imagined!" Zenitsu shot back.
"Sigh~ Zenitsu, Tengen really does have wives. Three of them, actually. You met them when we celebrated New Year at my place! Those three beautiful, busty women? Hinatsuru, Makio, and Suma. They're his wives."
"THREE?? Why do you have three wives?? What kind of joke—urk!"
WHAM!
Tengen's fist buried itself in Zenitsu's stomach. He collapsed onto the tatami, unconscious.
Tengen pulled out a stack of envelopes, tossing them on the table. "These are letters my three wives and I exchanged via crow. For unknown reasons, contact suddenly ceased. I'm worried about them. They're stationed at Tokito House, Ogimoto House, and Kyogoku House respectively!"
"Maybe your wives are already dead!" Inosuke announced cheerfully.
Tanjiro: (?д?|||)
BANG!
Inosuke also received a punch, dropping unconscious. Tengen turned to Tanjiro. "Any complaints?"
Tanjiro shook his head vigorously like a bobblehead. 'Thank god I listened to Kaidō-san earlier! Otherwise, I'd be next!'
At that moment, the Wisteria House owner opened the door, carrying two boxes.
"Everything you requested is ready!"
"Thanks!"
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"You three—change into these outfits. I'll do your makeup, then you'll infiltrate Tokito House, Ogimoto House, and Kyogoku House respectively. Oh, and Kaidō, you're changing too!" Tengen pointed at Tanjiro's group and Kaidō.
"Huh?? Why do I have to change?? I refuse!"
"Why not?"
"No reason! I'm just not doing it!"
While they argued heatedly, the System's voice echoed in Kaidō's mind.
[Ding! Quest Issued.]
[Quest: Wear women's clothing and successfully infiltrate Kyogoku House.]
[Quest Reward: +10% Interdimensional Energy]
[Quest Failure: Host becomes female.]
'!!!!!!'
Kaidō was utterly speechless. If the System had a physical form, he'd drag it out and grind it into the floor.
'System, your timing is really "perfect," isn't it??'
[Ding! Host, you do want to go home, don't you?]
'You little—'
After wrestling with the decision, he finally caved. Ten percent Interdimensional Energy was too valuable to pass up.
"Fine! I'll change. But I do it alone—none of you can disturb me or peek! If anyone dares spy, I'm kidnapping your wives to be maids for my sister and me!" Kaidō spoke through gritted teeth.
"Deal! No problem!"
Tengen led Tanjiro and the others to another room. Kaidō locked himself in his assigned space—door, windows, everything sealed tight.
"What kind of mess have I gotten myself into..."
No choice. The System's energy reward was too generous. This was all for returning home faster. Yes, definitely just to go home faster.
[Host, the System is generously providing a complimentary makeup kit. Also, wearing that sexy kimono will enhance your charm!]
'...'
With no other option, Kaidō retrieved the sexy kimono from a previous reward, along with the System-provided makeup kit. Opening the case, he activated "Max-Level Makeup Mastery" and began working on his reflection.
Max-Level Makeup Mastery: Even the ugliest person becomes beautiful under your hands.
About an hour later, Kaidō finished. He'd completed his makeup and donned the sexy kimono.
At this moment, Kaidō was indistinguishable from a real woman.
His straight bangs were tied into a small braid secured with a golden flower hairpin on the right side. Long side locks framed his chest on both sides. A long side ponytail was bound on the right side of his head.
To hide the dragon-shaped mark on his forehead, he applied foundation to conceal it. He'd purchased purple contact lenses from the System Lifestyle Shop for his left eye. A beauty mark sat beneath his right eye. The purple eyes created perfect balance.
The pink sexy kimono decorated with red maple leaves draped over his frame. The chest area was slightly open, revealing his collarbones. The System had thoughtfully provided two C-cup silicone inserts tucked inside the kimono's chest.
A deep pink obi wrapped around his waist. The kimono's lower half only covered mid-thigh. White translucent stockings adorned his legs.
[Host, please use the Queen Experience Card!]
'System, I'm absolutely certain you're up to no good.'
He examined the "Queen Experience Card" in his system inventory.
Queen Experience Card: Grants temporary queen-like dignity. Every gesture affects others' hearts. Even in the plainest clothing, you'll exude noble queenly aura. Duration: Ten days.
"Sigh... whatever. When you're under someone's roof, you gotta play by their rules..."
Mentally commanding activation, the Queen Experience Card dissolved into light, entering Kaidō's brow. An invisible aura of authority radiated from him.
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