I was on my way back to the dormitory. I reached the bus stand and was standing there, waiting for the bus of my route to arrive. Then suddenly I felt a little dizziness in my head. My head started spinning. Everything around me felt like a place or a photograph from an album that didn't have any voice or sound in it. Both my ears were filled with a vibrating sound.
I placed my hand on my heart and said to myself, Relax, be relaxed. Not here, not here. You can't faint here. You can't lose your consciousness here. Not now, not now. I was just whispering this prayer to myself.
Then suddenly my bus came in front of me. Look, Zhao Shiza, the bus has already arrived right in front of you. Now you just need to get into it and then you'll reach your dorm safely. Yes, I can do it, I said to myself, trying to make myself conscious enough till I reached my dorm.
Then I took one step forward to step inside the bus, but suddenly everything in front of me became silent. The vibrating sound became louder than before and my vision blurred. Then I closed my eyes.
After a while, somewhere I could feel the warmth of the environment of this place. I didn't open my eyes yet, but I could feel that it was safe and warm here. Then slowly, very slowly, my eyes fluttered and I opened them. The first thing I saw was the sky above me. Then when I looked to my right, there was a road where people were walking here and there. Then when I looked to my left side, I saw him.
My heart stopped beating for a moment.
He was looking focused, both his hands on the car steering, and I was in his car. I sat up properly. I think he didn't notice that I had woken up, so I said, "Yuan," in a small and very low voice.
He immediately turned his face towards me. The moment he looked at me, guilt appeared on his face and tears started forming in his eyes. Without thinking for a second, he hugged me—hugged me tightly—and said, "I am sorry, so sorry, my silly girl. I shouldn't have done this to you. I shouldn't. I was so careless, so careless. I am the worst boyfriend in this world, worse than ever."
He kept saying all these things while hugging me. I got a little shock after hearing all this because I really didn't know why or for what he was saying sorry to me. Then I asked him, "Yuan, first relax and calm down. I'm sure you didn't kiss me while I was fainted… or did you?"
He broke the hug and pulled my ears lightly and said, "Just now you came into your conscious state and you are still asking silly questions to me. Which C-drama series are going on inside your mind, hm? Tell me." He said it in a tone like he was scolding me.
I laughed and said, "Yuan, it's not my fault. You are the one who started crying and continuously saying sorry to me the moment I came into my conscious state. So what else could I think first? Stop behaving like that, then only I'll stop thinking that. And for your kind information, let me tell you that nowadays I am not able to get time to watch any C-drama series." I said it while carrying an unsaid upsetness on my face.
"How pity of you," he said in his taunting tone.
I started laughing again and patted his arm and said, "What happened, my dear boyfriend? Why are you so worried and angry? Every girlfriend gets fainted, so it's normal, okay?"
"No, it's not normal because you fainted because of me. And I couldn't even imagine that if I didn't reach on time, what could have happened," he said with worry. I had never heard him this worried.
I asked, "Yuan, what happened?"
Tears again started forming in his eyes and he hugged me again and closed his eyes tightly, like he was hiding that pain from me, and said, "I was so careless. I took you to the cafeteria and made you drink that coffee when I already knew that you have caffeine sensitivity. But at that moment I forgot it. And I was so careless that after that I was going back to my work. But thank God, thank God I suddenly remembered it. Then I turned my car to your bus stop. You were alone," he repeated, "you were alone, my silly girl, there trying to regain your consciousness. And you know what? When I reached there, you were… you were about to fall in the bus. If I became a few seconds late, then you would have ended up hurting your head because of me. It's all because of me."
He kept saying all this in his shaking voice. I massaged his back lightly with my hands, trying to make him calm. Then I broke the hug, cupped his face with both my hands, and said, "First, stop crying, you crybaby. Otherwise I'll tease you as crybaby from now onwards. And listen to me very carefully. You are not a careless boyfriend. In fact, my Yuan Yuan is the best boyfriend in this whole universe. Not even stars and moons can compete with him. And the point is not that you forgot I have caffeine sensitivity. The point is that you remembered it. We just came into a relationship, Yuan, so making these mistakes is normal. We are human beings, and human beings are born to make mistakes. And look at me—I am the one who should be aware of it after all, it's my health. And see, I know I have caffeine sensitivity, but still today I totally forgot it, and I didn't even remember it until you told me that this happened because I drank coffee today. So see, in this situation also, you are so aware about me, even more than me. So you are already one point up in this. And don't you dare to call my Yuan Yuan the worst boyfriend, because I know he is the best."
"It's because you are too much into me, that's why you are saying all this," he said in his shaking voice.
"No, never. See, Yuan, I don't want our love story to be perfect like a fairy tale that doesn't have any flaws. I want our love story to be made up of and grow with these flaws. Because you know what is the most beautiful thing about our story?" I asked him.
He said, "What?"
"It's flaws and unpredictability. And that makes our story more beautiful. Now promise me we'll learn from mistakes, we'll grow together. We are not together to blame ourselves or to be perfect. We are with each other to learn, to heal, to make mistakes together. And tell me, if it doesn't have flaws and mistakes, then how will it become interesting? Everyone hears perfect stories, but I want our story to teach them that mistakes can be made, flaws will be there, but still, if at the end of the day we are holding each other's hand, then it's all worth it."
I pressed my forehead to his forehead while saying it.
"You are saying it like you are going to make a C-drama on our story," he said, smiling through his tears.
"Of course. Isn't it so obvious? Look, who thought that I would ever be able to experience this—Yuan caring for me, me becoming his girlfriend. So unpredictable. And even you agree that your journey as an actor was not easy. I know, I heard that song you sang while describing your journey. You did a lot of hard work, then you achieved the love and appreciation you deserved. So the same formula applies to love also. It's just like a plant—you need to pour water and give proper sunlight, and it will grow stronger and stronger day by day. So everything doesn't get perfect on day one only. It takes time to reach the epitome of that perfection. And I am here with you in this journey. We'll fall, we'll have many ups and downs on this path, then we'll reach that epitome which will be totally worth it, totally."
"From where did you get such deep knowledge of love? Aren't you too young for it? Just 22," he said.
"Mr. Yuan, don't age-shame me," I said, smiling.
"Okay, okay, I won't. Otherwise my little bunny will get angry," he said.
"Now I also found a nickname for you," I said while smirking.
"What?" he asked astonishingly.
"Cryyy babyyyy," I said.
"You are—" he said.
"I am what? Tell me, hm. Why did your ears become so red? Are you really blushing, Yuan?" I laughed hard and said, "I never thought that making you blush would be that easy. Just one word and your whole face is red."
"Stop teasing, silly girl," he said.
"I won't. After such a long time I got something to tease you with. How should I leave that chance so easily? No way, not at all," I said, laughing harder than before.
"Okay, then when I tease you, don't complain," he said.
"Okay, I won't. Now stop this teasing game and take me back to the bus stop. I need to reach the dorm timely. After all, I need to prepare for tomorrow's date, because today I didn't even get a chance to get ready properly," I said.
"I like you simple," he said, smiling.
"I know, I know. But still drop me at the bus stop. It's already getting late," I said.
"Let me drop you at your dormitory," he said.
"No, big no, Yuan. That day I didn't allow you to drop me, and now when it's getting late, you think I'll let you drop me at the dorm? No way. Just drop me at the bus stop, otherwise your little bunny will run away on her own," I said.
"No, no, don't make my little bunny run. I'm dropping you at the bus stop," he said.
"Better," I said.
He started the car and said in a low tone, "This stubborn girl always makes me bend to her stubbornness."
"What did you just say, Yuan?" I asked.
"Did you hear anything?" he asked.
"No," I replied.
"Then I didn't say anything," he said.
Then we both smiled at each other. He dropped me at the bus stop, and I got out of the car and said, "Bye-bye, Yuan," waving my hands.
"Bye-bye, and take care of my little bunny. Otherwise I'll scold you," he said, and then went on his way.
Here I am again, waiting for my bus to arrive. But today, I think this is the best day of my life I have ever experienced till now. I like the way he cries for me, the way he gets scared for me, the way he worries for me, the way he hugs me. It was all a dream a few years ago, but now—who thought? Not even I thought in my worst nightmare that I would ever be able to experience this in my life. Life is really unpredictable, just like me.
I was saying all these things to myself while waiting for my bus to arrive. Then my bus arrived, breaking all my self-thoughts. I got inside it, and the bus started moving…