Chapter 3: Viral Incompetence
Ace stared at his phone, scrolling through the endless stream of tweets, memes, and reaction videos related to "Potato Simulator 2024." The internet had embraced his terrible game with open arms, declaring it the "Worst Game Ever Made" and "So Bad It's Good."
Streamers were playing it live, their faces contorted in expressions of bewildered amusement. YouTubers were creating montages of the game's most absurd moments, set to equally absurd music. And the comments sections were filled with users praising the game's "unintentional genius" and "mind-bending gameplay."
"This… this can't be happening," Ace muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. "I made a potato tapping simulator with stolen clip art and a random word generator plot. How is this popular?"
He checked his System Inventory.
[Potato Simulator 2024: 10,000 Sales!]
System, still frustratingly silent, wasn't providing any explanations. But the numbers spoke for themselves. Ace's terrible game was a runaway hit.
Ace quickly downloaded a legitimate business management app to separate his company's income and expenses. He understood that the money from the System was for his personal use only, and he needed to keep it separate from the company's funds. This would allow him to actually use it without sabotaging his plans.
Ace's personal phone dinged with the notification sound of incoming money to his bank account. He cautiously opened his banking app.
[Incoming: 9,900.00]
He blinked. He rubbed his eyes. He pinched himself again, just to be sure. Still not a dream.
Ten thousand sales at 99 cents each meant $9,900… and every penny of that was now in the companies account.
"Okay," Ace said aloud, trying to regain his composure. "Time to think like a businessman. A terrible businessman."
He knew he couldn't just sit back and let the money pile up. He needed to actively sabotage his own success. He needed to invest in terrible marketing, hire incompetent staff, and generally run his company into the ground.
First things first, he needed an office. And not just any office, a dilapidated, overpriced office in the worst part of town. He wouldn't use his personal money from the system to sabotage his business. The money had to come from the company's account!
He spent the next few hours scouring Craigslist, searching for the most undesirable commercial properties he could find. Finally, he stumbled upon the perfect candidate: a leaky, termite-infested office above a noisy laundromat, with a landlord who looked like he hadn't slept in a decade.
Ace signed the lease without hesitation, ignoring the landlord's ominous warnings about the building's "unique character." This money had come from the company's account as well!
Next, he needed employees. And not just any employees, employees who were guaranteed to be unproductive, unmotivated, and utterly clueless about game development.
He placed an ad on a local job board, specifically targeting candidates with "limited experience" and "a passion for failure." He even added a disclaimer: "If you are competent and hardworking, please do not apply."
To his surprise, the ad received a flood of applications. Apparently, there were a lot of people out there who were eager to embrace their inner slacker. He paid the ad with the company's account.
After a series of hilariously awkward interviews, Ace hired a motley crew of misfits:
- Brenda: A self-proclaimed "social media guru" who spent most of her time posting selfies and complaining about her ex-boyfriend.
- Gary: A "programmer" who claimed to be fluent in "all coding languages," but couldn't even write a simple "Hello, World" program.
- Tiffany: A "graphic designer" who specialized in creating clip art that looked like it had been drawn by a five-year-old.
Their salaries were also paid by the company funds!
With his team assembled, Ace felt confident that he was well on his way to achieving his goal of financial ruin.
But as the days turned into weeks, something strange started to happen. Despite their incompetence, Ace's employees began to… contribute.
Brenda's selfies and ex-boyfriend rants somehow generated a surprising amount of engagement on social media. Gary's inability to code led him to create bizarre, experimental gameplay mechanics that were unintentionally hilarious. And Tiffany's terrible clip art became the game's signature visual style.
"This is impossible!" Ace exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "I'm trying to fail here! Why is everyone so determined to help me succeed?"
He checked his System Inventory. The funds remained stubbornly at $100,000. The money from the system would stay there! The system will refresh and give him the bonus monthly.
Just as he was about to lose all hope, a notification flashed across his phone.
[Monthly System Refresh: Commencing in 3...2...1...]
Ace braced himself for the bad news. He knew this was it. He was about to receive a measly few dollars for his company's profits, and his plan would be ruined forever.
He waited with bated breath as the System finished calculating. Then, the notification appeared.
[Monthly System Refresh: Congratulations! You have incurred a net loss of $50,000! System Funds: $5,100,000]
Ace stared at the screen, his jaw agape. He had lost fifty thousand dollars in a single month. Finally the system funds is growing! The hard work is paying off, even if it seems accidental.