After a few minutes of poking, shaking, and debating whether fainting counted as "sleep," Nyxar stood up, staring down at Sylas's unconscious body.
He sighed. "Should I drag him into the cave?"
Vespera shrugged. "Sure."
Nyxar, deadpan, handed her the mini Umbrajaguar. "Here. Hold this."
Vespera took it without hesitation and sat by the campfire. The tiny shadow cat curled into her lap, purring softly. She blinked, then started gently petting it, claws barely grazing its silky fur.
The narrator cut in:
"Okay, so—fun fact time. Both Nyxar and Vespera like cute things. Well… 'cute' in their definition. Which is: small, harmless, and preferably capable of mass destruction if grown up. I don't know what that says about them as people, but it's somewhere between 'adorably concerning' and 'genetically suspicious.' Personally, I'm betting they're twins—or clones—or cosmic siblings or something. Either way, I want no part of that family reunion."
Back by the fire, Vespera was still petting the mini jaguar, completely content.
Then, from the trees—
"—They're this way!" Ember's voice rang out, followed by the unmistakable sound of two hyper gremlins.
"Are we there yet?" Bug whined.
"Are we there yet?" Spirit echoed.
"Both of you stop talking before I summon a muzzle," Ember snapped.
They emerged into the clearing—and froze.
Because what they saw was:
Two dead Umbrajaguars the size of small cars.
A mini jaguar purring in Vespera's lap.
And a woman who looked exactly like Nyxar.
Bug blinked. Spirit blinked harder. Then both pointed dramatically.
"WHEN DID YOU BECOME A GIRL?!" Bug shouted.
"IS THAT A CAT IN YOUR—WAIT—HER HANDS?!" Spirit screamed.
"WHAT DO WE EVEN CALL YOU?! AHHHHH!"
Vespera stared at them blankly, mid-pet. "...Yes?"
The narrator sighed, "Yep. That's about the reaction I expected."
Ember pinched the bridge of her nose. "What is wrong with you two?"
Before either gremlin could answer, Nyxar emerged from the cave, dragging Sylas by the leg like a sack of laundry.
Both Bug and Spirit looked at Vespera—then at Nyxar—then back again.
Their screams overlapped into pure chaos.
"THERE'S TWO OF THEM!"
"WHICH ONE IS THE REAL ONE?!"
"WHY DOES SHE HAVE THE SAME FACE?!"
Vespera tilted her head slightly, unfazed. "You scream a lot."
Nyxar blinked, confused. "They do."
The narrator muttered, "You two are the reason therapists retire early."
Ember spent the next three minutes trying to calm everyone down while Nyxar just stood there like an NPC waiting for dialogue to finish.
Finally, Bug exhaled dramatically. "Okay. I let you out of my sight for one day," he said, pointing accusingly at Nyxar. "And you made a female version of yourself?!"
Ember crossed her arms. "Her name is Vespera."
Spirit raised a shaky hand. "Since when? And why does she look exactly like him?"
Ember ignored them both, scanning the group. "Okay, fine. Where's Sylas?"
"In the cave," Nyxar and Vespera said in perfect unison.
"...Why?" Ember asked slowly.
They looked at each other, then back at her.
"He's sleeping," they said together again, completely straight-faced.
The narrator groaned. "Oh god. I can't tell if they're intentionally lying or if their definition of 'sleeping' just includes mild concussions."
Bug's eyes went wide. "He's WHAT?!"
"Sleeping," Nyxar repeated, as if that explained everything.
Vespera nodded. "Yes. Very deeply."
Ember facepalmed so hard it echoed.
The narrator delivered the final line with the perfect mix of exhaustion and disbelief:
"So, to recap: one unconscious scholar, two possibly-related murder twins, one baby jaguar, and two gremlins having synchronized meltdowns. This is supposed to be a rest stop, but at this rate, I'm betting on property damage before sunset."