Ebara wasn't originally from Konoha.
In his previous life, he was just an ordinary guy—nothing special.
One day, while riding his shared bike on the road, he saw a group of sows lining up to crash into trees.
Laughing his head off, he was about to film it and post it online.
But unexpectedly, while the pigs crashed into the trees, he crashed into the pigs.
When he woke up again, he had already become a member of Konoha.
After becoming part of Konoha, he couldn't eat or sleep in peace.
Though he now had a family he never had in his previous life.
That was exactly why he felt scared.
Because he knew full well how dangerous Konoha's future would be.
As a transmigrator, Ebara had never received the standard "golden finger" cheat.
He came from an ordinary lower-ninja family, with no bloodline limits to inherit.
To survive, Ebara even planned to steal the corpse on the day of the First Hokage's burial.
The First was like Tang Monk's flesh—eating a bite could grant longevity (and activate a cheat).
Unfortunately, he didn't get any Hashirama cells.
Now, the system had finally arrived.
Ebara was so excited he wanted to cry.
But when he saw the details of his system, he wanted to curse.
Three options appeared in his mind.
[Option 1: Happily accept! Reward: From now on, live a shamelessly happy life with Tsunade. System disappears!]
[Option 2: Reject Tsunade! Reward: Sage Body, eternal singlehood, system disappears!]
[Option 3: Tell Tsunade "Actually, you like yourself too"! Reward: System officially activates!]
Damn it!
This is obviously forcing me to pick three!
The first two make the system disappear.
What the hell am I supposed to choose?!
Picking three is basically the same as rejecting Tsunade!
Tsunade, the dream goddess of countless Naruto fans.
Now she's confessing to him so directly.
And he has to reject her.
"Damn this system."
But letting go of the system left Ebara a bit unwilling.
Tsunade's sudden confession shocked the group of kids in the class.
They never imagined they'd get to witness this kind of drama.
Was this something they could watch for free?
"Princess Tsunade is as bold as the rumors say."
"Who would've thought she'd confess like this?"
"Do you think Teacher Ebara will accept?"
"Probably."
"Not necessarily. It's Teacher Ebara we're talking about."
"You're right. Plus, it seems like it's one of those days every month when Teacher Ebara isn't normal."
Tsunade stared at Ebara with her bright, watery eyes, unblinking, waiting for his answer.
Her heart felt like it was about to leap out of her chest.
Though she was famously bold.
In this moment, even she couldn't help feeling like an ordinary girl.
Ahem...
Ebara cleared his throat twice.
The classroom instantly fell silent, everyone waiting for his response.
Ebara looked at Tsunade with deep affection.
"Tsunade, actually I..."
Hearing Ebara's words, everyone in the room thought the same thing.
Ebara's going to accept!
Even Tsunade was no exception.
Her heart was pounding with joy.
He really does like me too.
...
The first time Tsunade met Ebara, she felt he was special.
It was at her grandfather Hashirama Senju's funeral.
Everyone at the funeral wore expressions of grief.
Tsunade noticed that only Ebara was different.
Sad, excited, nervous, cautious.
That night, Tsunade tossed and turned, unable to accept her grandfather's departure.
She went back to the graveyard to confirm if her undefeated grandfather was truly dead.
Unexpectedly, she ran into Ebara.
"What are you doing here?"
Tsunade's first words to Ebara.
Young Ebara wiped his eyes, tears streaming down.
"I don't believe the First Hokage would die like this!"
"He might have revived already. I have to save him from the grave."
Boom—
Tsunade still remembered how she felt hearing Ebara's words.
He thinks just like me!
The two dug up the First's grave.
"What are you doing?"
Tsunade stared blankly at Ebara, who was biting the First's arm.
"Mmm... When my dad sleeps like the dead, I wake him up this way..."
Ebara said, biting harder.
He looked ready to tear off a chunk of the First's flesh.
In the end, Ebara didn't succeed, and the First wasn't awakened.
Hidden ANBU members notified the Second Hokage.
The Second arrived and dragged them back to the Hokage's office, one in each hand.
On the way, Ebara kept shouting.
"Let me go! The First Hokage isn't dead!"
"He'll wake up, he definitely will!"
"How could the man called the God of Shinobi die... waaah..."
Snot, tears, even drool slid down Ebara's face.
Tsunade just stared at Ebara the whole way.
She felt like Ebara should be Hashirama's granddaughter instead.
He cried so miserably.
"The First Hokage is dead, whether you accept it or not."
The Second left those cold words before confining them both.
"Don't cry anymore."
Tsunade comforted Ebara.
"Okay."
Ebara immediately stopped, wiping away all his tears, snot, and drool.
"Don't you want to cry?"
Ebara asked Tsunade.
"No. Grandpa told me crying doesn't solve problems."
"Bullshit. He once solved Uchiha Madara by crying..."
"Really?"
"Absolutely true. So if you want to cry, go ahead."
As he spoke, Ebara extended his hand to Tsunade.
Tsunade suddenly felt a stinging sensation rush to her nose, shattering her composure.
Tears fell uncontrollably from her eyes.
Tsunade stopped holding back and wailed.
"Is life always this painful? Or is it just like this when you're young?"
Young Tsunade, tears streaming, looked pitiful.
"Always like this!"
Ebara's voice was cold, without a hint of warmth.
But his hug was as warm as spring.
...
"Tsunade, actually I..."
"Really like myself!"
!!!!!!!!!!!!
The whole room was stunned!!!
No one expected Ebara to say something like that.
Ebara pulled out a mirror from who-knows-where.
He gazed narcissistically at his reflection.
"Actually, to be honest, I wake up every morning handsome-struck by my own looks!"
"Heaven did not birth me, Ebara; the path of handsomeness would be eternal night!"
"Thirty years east of the river, thirty years west—east or west, I'm still handsome!"
"Even if I show only half my face, I'm still undefeatably handsome!"
"I am the Emperor of Handsomeness, destined to outshine everyone in the world!"
"At the peak of the handsome path, who reigns supreme? One glance at Ebara, and all else is empty!"
The kids below, munching on the drama, were dumbfounded.
How could there be such a shameless guy in the world!
They'd seen narcissistic people, but none like Ebara.
Bang—
While Ebara was still rambling.
Tsunade suddenly threw a punch, grazing past Ebara's ear and smashing into the wall behind him.
The wall, perfectly fine moments ago, was now covered in cracks.
Dense, web-like fractures spread terrifyingly.
It seemed like the classroom might collapse any second.
"Are you looking to die?"
Tsunade glared at Ebara, enunciating each word.
Fury blazing!
Her eyes nearly consumed by flames.
"Why would I look for shit?"
"I'm not toilet paper!"
Ebara replied weakly.
He was still joking!
"If you're looking to die, I'll grant your wish today."
Tsunade roared.
With that, she pulled her right fist from the wall.
The moment she did, the precarious wall could no longer hold.
It collapsed with a boom, crashing toward Tsunade.
Ebara seized the chance and slipped away.
God knows what terrifying things Tsunade would do if he stayed.
"Damn system."
"Today, to activate you, I've sacrificed decades of happiness."
"Tsunade is a woman who looks twenty even in her fifties."
"The perfect partner!"
Ebara ran like mad, cursing the system in his heart.
[Choice successful! Reward obtained: System officially activated!]
"Isn't there some starter gift pack?"
"At least help me escape this crisis."
Ebara glanced back at the embarrassed and furious Tsunade.
Mere rubble couldn't bury her.
She was sprinting after him, hell-bent on murder.
[No!]
The system replied curtly.
Ebara didn't even have time to curse this time.
Because Tsunade was about to catch up.
If she catches me, she'll...
Heh!!!
Heh!!!
Heh!!!
Thinking of Tsunade's monster strength punches landing on him.
Ebara shuddered.
He desperately wished he had more than two legs.
The third one wasn't helping either.
"This way! Everyone okay?"
Minato helped Choza, who was lagging behind, out and asked Shikaku.
Shikaku, panting, said: "We're fine!"
When the city gate catches fire, the pond fish suffer.
When the classroom wall collapsed, they were naturally affected.
Luckily, they were just shrouded in smoke and unharmed.
"What a hassle. Teacher Ebara should've just accepted Princess Tsunade."
"Why did he have to say those cringy lines?"
Shikaku shook his head helplessly, looking where Ebara and Tsunade had vanished.
"Teacher Ebara... his abnormality is pretty normal."
Minato quipped.
Watching Ebara's fleeing back and Tsunade's raging pursuit.
He thought to himself: I absolutely cannot marry such a barbaric wife in the future!