This could take a while. She hands her Spirit Bow Akatsuki to Zura for repairs. Compared to the town's blacksmiths, Zura's fees are steep, but he gets the job done. Despite his ghastly skeletal appearance, he's a skilled and kind NPC.
(Oh, it's… actually kinda good?)
Sipping the coffee-like drink, Shinon is surprised by its gentle mouthfeel. It's far from real coffee, but as a beverage, it's impressive—good enough to want a second cup. But seeing Diavel's grim expression, she decides not to praise it openly, knowing it wouldn't satisfy him.
"Feeling calmer? You looked pretty down. I hope I can help."
"Was it that obvious?"
"Pretty much. But it's a death game. It's normal. I feel like I'm losing my mind when I'm alone, too."
Despite his words, Diavel exudes a certain ease, making Shinon wonder if he's mentally tougher than her. Maybe there's not much difference, but he seems to be finding purpose in this death game.
That reminds her—Kuuri once said that one way to survive this game is to embrace it as a game. Back then, shocked by seeing Kuuri's real face, she let much of what he said slip by. But thinking back, his advice on surviving the death game boiled down to staying sane.
"This might sound weird, but… is blending coffee fun?"
"To be precise, I haven't even made coffee yet. I'm just trying each bean type to find something coffee-like. But I know I'll find it. Just one base flavor—that's all I need. From there, I can chase the ideal taste."
"Sounds like a long road."
"I'm hoping to get it by the time we clear the game."
Diavel is strong. Shinon can't help but see the brilliance of the sun in him.
This blue knight will one day lead many people. They'll rely on him, resolving to fight toward the day of liberation. Shinon believes this, even if it's a selfish fantasy she clings to.
Fear will eventually consume her. The only escape is to keep running until the day she dies. And right now, that fear takes the form of Kuuri, not the death game itself.
"…I'm scared."
Sitting beside Diavel, hugging her knees, Shinon mutters softly. Diavel sits cross-legged, tossing a log into the fire that's scorching the steaming kettle.
"I'm scared of Kuuri. His eyes, his words, his entire being—it's terrifying. Like the Black Gun from that day… no, even worse."
"Black Gun?"
"You know about the Death Gun incident?"
It's a fairly well-known story, but Shinon checks if Diavel is aware. He strokes his chin thoughtfully before shaking his head regretfully.
Not every DBO player knows every VRMMO incident. Unfazed, Shinon briefly explains the Death Gun incident.
Forty-nine deaths. The infamous serial "murder case" in GGO, unprecedented in Japanese history, was known as the Death Gun incident. One of the culprits was Shinon's friend.
She narrowly escaped becoming a victim, thanks to the VR Task Force apprehending the suspect in time. But facing Death Gun, the embodiment of the incident in the virtual world, stripped her of all will to fight. She was nearly swallowed by the hollow terror of that gun's muzzle.
Two members of the VR Task Force saved her: one in an all-black avatar, the other with a rat-whisker-like face paint, dispatched as players. She never met them in the real world, but a twin-tailed girl calling herself their "secretary" explained the incident's details. For a week afterward, Shinon couldn't log into GGO.
She couldn't believe anything anymore. The virtual battles she started to gain "strength" had somehow turned into a threat to her own life. She didn't want to accept it.
A human life is heavy. Taking one means bearing that weight. Shinon knows this all too well. She understands the meaning of pulling a trigger, the terror of taking a life, far beyond what her age should know.
But Kuuri feels no fear or conflict about killing. She can't see into his heart, but those eyes were like a spider or praying mantis, dispassionately hunting prey.
Yet, she felt relief when he spared a life at her plea. Those eyes, in that moment, were human.
"What should I do? I know he acted for us, but I can't help being terrified of him. It's like I'm afraid I'll become his next meal someday."
That day, Kuuri told Diavel everything without holding back. Shinon offered to make excuses for him, but he stubbornly refused, like a sinner climbing the gallows.
Even if Diavel cursed or punished him, Kuuri didn't care. That resolve didn't seem like someone who disrespects life. That's why Shinon is torn about how to handle her fear.
Is Kuuri a monster who feeds on lives? Or a sinner who values them? Or is Shinon herself the monster for only seeing him this way?
Doubt breeds doubt, driving her into a corner she can't escape alone.
"You don't have to accept it."
Diavel's casual response catches her off guard, and she struggles to process it.
"You don't have to accept or understand it. That's normal. You, me, Kuuri—we all have different hearts. Our answers, our paths, they're bound to differ. But that doesn't mean our goals have to."
"What are you saying?"
"It's simple. You don't need to share Kuuri's mindset or methods just because he's an ally. Our bond is our shared purpose. You don't have to approve of his actions. If you think he's wrong, stop him with everything you've got, like you did before. That's all there is to it."
Gazing at the crackling fire, its flames growing as the logs burn, Diavel offers a calm smile, free of any hesitation.
"If I were there, I'd stop him too. I'd find a way to stop Kuuri without hurting him."
"…Yeah, maybe it's that simple."
Shinon laughs off her doubts, feeling foolish.
Diavel's right. She decided her path from the start. She's here to clear the death game, to gain "strength." Yet she nearly lost sight of that.
No matter who Kuuri is, even if he's the embodiment of the "madness" she fears, Shinon will walk her path and challenge him if needed. She already proved it—her words stopped him from taking a life.
"Besides, I don't think Kuuri's as scary as you think."
Chuckling, Diavel points to a figure emerging from the evening shadows.
"Goddamn, it's freezing! Why's it so cold in a virtual world?! And a runny nose? That's insane! What's that bastard trying to recreate? Does Kayaba's heir want a pat on the back for this?!"
Stomping forward with rough steps, Shinon sees the boy who's become her fear—a petite figure who looks like a girl. She can't help but smile wryly, agreeing with Diavel.
Bathed in the sunset, it's Kuuri, sporting a pure white ponytail plugin—a punishment from Diavel for "lying" about his solo actions that day. The red ribbon tying it? Shinon bought it. A pricey 4,000 Col item, by the way.
"He's our toy for now, so no need to be scared, right?"
Diavel's sly grin, plotting what hairstyle or accessory to force on the shy "girl" next, feels uncharacteristically mischievous.
"You're right."
Taking the not-quite-coffee from Diavel, Shinon offers it to Kuuri, who's shivering by the fire.