It started, like most of Squad 13's "operations," with an emergency meeting called by Rina at the most inconvenient hour possible.
"Squad 13!" she announced, slamming her palm on the breakfast table. "We have a mission!"
Mira blinked at her from behind a bowl of cereal. "Is it one that doesn't involve open flames this time?"
"Yes! And also no! But listen—today is Liri's birthday!"
Celia squinted. "Wait, seriously? Are we sure? I thought her birthday was last month."
"No," Eira said, sipping tea, "that was the day she celebrated the anniversary of her nap schedule."
Liri, half-asleep on the couch, muttered, "...still counts."
Rina ignored her. "Point is, we're throwing her a surprise party. She has no idea. We'll decorate, we'll bake, we'll get a cake—"
"Do not let Celia near the oven," Mira interrupted immediately.
"—and we'll make it the best birthday ever!" Rina finished, striking a heroic pose.
Eira set her cup down slowly. "Statistically speaking, your plans have a one hundred percent failure rate."
"Exactly," Celia grinned, cracking her knuckles. "That means we're due for success."
Rina pointed dramatically at her. "That's the spirit!"
Liri yawned. "You guys know I can hear you, right?"
"...No you can't!" Rina yelled. "You're asleep!"
Liri shrugged. "Fair enough," and promptly fell back onto the couch.
Rina stood in the middle of the room surrounded by half-inflated balloons and tangled streamers. "How hard can it be to decorate?"
Mira stared at the mess. "You've been asking that question for an hour."
"Because it should be easy! Balloons, streamers, confetti—boom! Instant party."
"Boom" turned out to be an unfortunately accurate prediction.
Celia, who had volunteered to inflate the balloons using a small air tank she "borrowed" from the supply room, was doing just fine—until she decided to speed things up.
"If I connect two balloons at once, we'll be done twice as fast!" she declared.
"Celia, don't—" Eira started.
FOOMP!
A deafening pop echoed through the barracks as a chain reaction of balloon explosions erupted like artillery fire.
When the dust cleared, the entire squad stood blinking in a rain of shredded latex.
Rina coughed. "...Progress?"
Celia smiled proudly. "They're pre-popped. Easier to clean up."
Mira sighed. "We're going to need therapy after this."
Rina pulled out a cookbook like it was a sacred text. "Alright! One cake. How hard can it—"
"Stop saying that," Eira cut in.
"—be?" Rina finished anyway.
They gathered ingredients: flour, sugar, eggs, butter… and Celia's mysterious unlabeled jar.
"What's that?" Mira asked.
Celia shrugged. "Secret ingredient. Makes everything taste better."
Eira leaned over to inspect it. "That's chili powder."
Celia blinked. "Oh. Spicy cake?"
"No."
But it was too late. Celia had already dumped half the jar in.
The mixer screamed. The batter fizzed. Something hissed.
Rina poked it with a spoon. "Is it supposed to bubble like that?"
Eira took two steps back. "That's a chemical reaction."
Then it exploded.
Not a big explosion—just enough to paint the ceiling with suspiciously red frosting and coat Celia's hair in batter.
Mira stared at her. "Congratulations. You made cake shrapnel."
Celia licked a bit off her cheek. "Tastes spicy."
Rina groaned. "Plan B! We buy a cake!"
Eira crossed her arms. "Why didn't we start with Plan B?"
"Because it's less fun!" Rina answered, covered in flour and denial.
While Rina and Mira ran off to the bakery, Celia and Eira were left to keep Liri "busy."
Liri, however, wasn't making it easy.
"So… why are you two suddenly acting suspicious?" she asked, eyes half-open but annoyingly perceptive.
Eira didn't even blink. "Suspicious? Us? We're just… uh… playing cards."
"There are no cards."
"Imaginary ones," Celia added quickly.
Liri yawned. "Sure. And the cake batter in your hair?"
Celia froze. "...Hair mask."
Eira nodded firmly. "New beauty regimen."
Liri stared at them for a long moment, then shrugged. "Cool. Wake me when it's over."
Celia whispered, "Mission accomplished?"
Eira sighed. "For once, maybe."
Rina and Mira burst through the door twenty minutes later, carrying a lopsided but glorious chocolate cake.
"We did it!" Rina shouted. "Victory!"
"Barely," Mira wheezed. "You haggled with the baker for ten minutes over the word 'discount'."
"It's called negotiation!" Rina argued.
"Negotiation doesn't usually end with someone being banned from the store," Mira replied flatly.
"Minor detail."
They placed the cake on the table just as Celia finished hanging a "Happy Birthay" banner.
"Uh, Celia?" Mira pointed. "You missed a letter."
Celia squinted. "No, it's minimalist."
Eira sighed from the corner. "It looks like we're celebrating literacy loss."
Rina ignored them. "Positions, everyone! She'll wake up any minute!"
Liri yawned as she sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Why is it so quiet in here?"
Rina's voice came from somewhere behind the couch. "Shhh! She's up!"
"Who said that?" Liri mumbled, standing—
"NOW!" Rina shouted.
The entire squad leapt out from their hiding spots, confetti cannons blazing.
Unfortunately, Celia's cannon had been modified "for extra power."
A deafening BANG! shook the room as a blinding cloud of confetti engulfed everything. When it finally cleared, Liri stood there, completely expressionless, covered head to toe in rainbow paper.
She blinked. "…Why am I sticky?"
Mira checked the cannon. "Oh my god. You filled it with glue confetti!?"
Celia frowned. "It was supposed to make it sparkle longer!"
Eira pinched the bridge of her nose. "I am developing a migraine."
Rina, meanwhile, proudly presented the cake. "Ta-da! Happy Birthday, Liri!"
Liri looked at it. "That's… kind of sweet, actually."
Then the cake tilted.
Then it slid.
Then it fell, landing perfectly upside down on the floor.
Silence.
Rina froze mid-pose. Celia stared in horror. Mira looked like she might cry. Eira just muttered, "Called it."
Liri looked at the destroyed cake, then at her teammates.
"…So. Pizza?"
By the time the pizza arrived, Squad 13 had somehow managed to fill the sink with even more dishes than before. Frosting remnants clung to the ceiling. The smell of burnt sugar lingered like defeat.
And yet, as they all gathered around the coffee table—eating pizza and laughing about the disaster—it didn't feel like failure.
"Next time," Rina said between bites, "we'll try cake again."
Celia groaned. "No. Just no."
Eira didn't even look up from her food. "If you try, I'm moving out."
Liri smiled, her eyes half-lidded. "Let's just survive birthday chaos first."
Mira chuckled, leaning back. "At least we didn't burn the building down this time."
Rina nodded proudly. "See? Progress."
For a brief, chaotic moment, the squad sat there—the messy, ridiculous, lovable Squad 13—sharing laughter, sticky confetti, and the memory of another perfectly failed mission.
To be continued on Chapter 11: The Mysterious Case of the Disappearing Laundry