"Who the fuck are you?"
"Huh?"
"I'm going to call security to get you out of here. If you're a fan, at least respect that I'm hospitalized and get your autograph another time."
"What are you talking about, Evan? This is a joke... right?"
Liam couldn't believe it, didn't want to believe it, and neither did the other two men present.
Didn't Evan recognize him when, just a few nights ago, they had sworn eternal love to each other?
"I don't know you. And I said only my manager and Kyle are allowed here. So please, Oliver, make this crazy guy leave, or I'll call security."
"But Evan... are you sure?"
"Of course. First, I had a fucking car crash, and now a stalker shows up. What a shitty day."
Liam began analyzing the situation as quickly as he could. A car crash. Head trauma. Evan doesn't recognize him.
Don't tell me...
"You don't remember me?" Liam's lips trembled with fear as he asked, hoping the answer would be no.
"Of course not. I don't know you."
With those words, his entire world fell apart.
Liam prayed it was a joke in bad taste, or just a bad dream he could wake up from, a horrible nightmare. But no.
Evan has post-traumatic retrograde amnesia.
Liam swallowed hard, trying to appear as calm as possible, while Kyle and Oliver interrogated Evan, confused by what had just happened. Did Evan really not recognize Liam, his boyfriend, whom he was madly in love with and always smiled at his side?
"I'll get a doctor to check him out," Liam said without looking up. "It seems to be post-traumatic retrograde amnesia."
And he left the room, struggling to maintain his composure.
.
.
.
In the waiting room, he pressed the button on the coffee machine. The dark liquid dripped slowly while his thoughts ran haphazardly.
Post-traumatic amnesia is memory loss following a physical trauma. It can last minutes, days, or months. In mild cases, it recovers over time. In severe cases, it can be permanent. It can be caused by a car accident, a fall, or any other event that causes head trauma. If memories from before the trauma are lost, it's retrograde amnesia. If new memories can't be formed, it's anterograde amnesia.
I've known all this since before I even entered medical school. I know it so damn well that I wish it were just a fucking joke, even though everything points to that diagnosis. In Evan's case, the cause is obvious... but why did he have to forget about me?
With so few people knowing about their relationship, it would be easy for the blond boy to continue with his life without speaking to him again. And now, in everyone's eyes, he was just another fan invading the actor's privacy.
"You were right. Post-traumatic retrograde amnesia," Kyle said, appearing next to him.
Liam hadn't even heard him arrive.
"Seems like he forgot everything about last year," Kyle continued.
"So... he didn't forget only about me…" He tried to smile, but only managed a grimace as he pulled out his cup of coffee.
It was hot. And it tasted bitter.
It was then that a memory crept into his thoughts. An everyday scene, seemingly insignificant, but now painfully distant.
.
"Liam! This is so bitter, it tastes like petroleum!" Evan complained, wrinkling his nose after sipping from his boyfriend's coffee cup.
"I assure you, petroleum doesn't taste like that," Liam laughed. "And it's only black coffee, so the caffeine will work better. I have to finish this project tonight."
"You should put sugar in it. Everything tastes so much better when it's sweet."
"You like everything sweet."
"Obviously," and stole a kiss. "That's why I like you."
"I'm not sweet," he replied before kissing the coffee-flavored lips of his boyfriend again.
"That's what you say," the blond boy said, with that tender smile that always warms the younger boy's heart. "I'm going to the kitchen to get a coffee with milk and a lot of sugar. Your coffee tastes awful!" He stuck his tongue out at him before going to the kitchen of the younger boy's place.
.
And now, even drinking a simple cup of coffee hurts...
How could something so simple be so painful now? Why couldn't he drink a simple coffee without remembering him?
Those sweet, happy memories with Evan now started feeling as bitter as that coffee the blonde boy complained about so much.
"Everything is so much better if it's sweet." Remembering those words hurts with a bitter taste.
Kyle noticed the sadness in the younger boy's eyes. He felt the same helplessness of not being able to do something, knowing how important that boy was to his friend.
"The doctor said he could recover his memory on his own, but that it's advisable for him to go to therapy and follow some treatment for the time being."
Liam knew what post-traumatic amnesia meant, possibly better than many doctors, being one of the best students with the best professors in medicine at Harvard College. But he appreciated Kyle's attempt to support him.
"If the memories are damaged, there's nothing that can be done. And if he only forgot the last year... maybe, with your help and advice from his manager, he could move on with no problems. There's no such thing as a 100% chance of getting treatment."
"Maybe... Or he can form new memories to replace the lost ones."
"I don't know. For now, he probably thinks I'm a stalker." He finished his coffee and threw the cup in the waiting room trash. "Even so... thanks."
"You know you can count on me," he replied with a warm smile.
.
.
.
Night had already fallen at the hospital, and Kyle stayed to keep his friend company. The two of them chatted until the sun set, with no doctors present. Just the two of them, just him and his best friend, as it had always been since that honey-eyed boy entered into his lonely life.
"By the way, who was that crazy guy? How dare he hug me like that?"
Kyle hesitated. He knew Liam might get angry at what he was about to do, but he didn't want his best friend to forget permanently the only relationship in which he'd ever seen him truly loved and happy. He didn't want his friend to forget the only person who'd ever managed to pull him out of his endless self-imposed loneliness.
"Well... He's your boyfriend."
"What?!"
Evan couldn't believe it, and for some reason, his face turned red.
"Hey, don't shout! We're in a hospital, and besides, it's already nighttime," the older man scolded.
"Then stop joking!"
"I'm not joking. It's the truth."
His heart started racing, and he felt like he wouldn't be able to handle the embarrassment. Kyle laughed, just like when he'd teased him before he'd confessed how he really felt about that boy who was still in college.
"Come on, don't you find him attractive?" The silver-haired boy began to tease him.
"What are you talking about?" Evan looked away, his face flushed with red. "Well... a little... maybe. But don't go around saying things like that. You know very well that I don't get involved in those kinds of relationships."
"But I already told you it's the truth, I'm not lying."
He took out his smartphone and began searching through his gallery for the pictures his friend had sent him.
They said showing him related pictures or objects might help him remember little by little, so there's no harm in trying.
"Look," he showed him a photo where they were both making a heart with their fingers, with Evan smiling brightly and the boy nervously looking away. "Or this other one," and he showed him a picture where he was hugging the same boy from behind and kissing him on the cheek, while the other smiled, blushing, taking the selfie.
"What!?" His face was completely red, and he couldn't bear the embarrassment of seeing himself so clingy with that boy.
"And there are more. I also have pictures of Liam sleeping that you used to send me to show off that you woke up early or that you left hickeys on his neck. Seriously, you send too much pictures..."
"Stop, stop, stop. For God's love, it's okay. I don't want to see anymore," he quickly interrupted, covering his face with his hands.
"Do you really not remember him?" the boy with honey-colored eyes asked sadly, hoping that little by little he could regain his memories.
"I already told you, I don't remember…"
Evan wasn't going to lie; there was certainly something about that boy that caught his attention and made him nervous, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember it.
Kyle continued flipping through the pictures on his phone, and Evan glanced at them. Apparently, in his chat, he was the one sending endless pictures with that black-haired boy to his friend.
"Wait, go back to the previous photo," he said suddenly, seeing his friend cuddled up with a tall, blond boy. "And who is he?"
"Don't you remember him either?" Now it was the older boy who blushed slightly.
"Don't tell me…" he quickly identified his friend's signs of nervousness. "Does Kyle have a boyfriend?"
At that question, he only blushed more and tried to look away, hiding the screen of his smartphone, with a picture taken on a double date.
"Well... Yes…"
They spent the night talking while Kyle told him everything that had happened over the past year. The hospital would release Evan the next day. It had been only hours, less than a day, but it had felt like an eternity. So much white was starting to make him dizzy, and the bright lights were pounding his head.