Author's Note:
Hi! I'm just popping in to thank you all for your continued support. Even though I don't always say it, you know that when I reach 40 stars, or even surpass them, I bring you new chapters. I'm truly impressed by the support you've given this story.
So, thanks to all that support, I was inspired to write another Steven Universe fanfic, in case you'd like to read it. It's called:
Steven Universe: Am I a Silica?
If you can support it as much as you have this story, I would be incredibly grateful.
Now then, let's continue.
"Stevo!" Amethyst exclaimed, beaming.
"How's your training going with that thing that makes you pink?"
...
...
I was absolutely furious, but I quickly snapped out of my pink form. The color dissipated like thick smoke.
I sighed.
"I'm doing fine," I said, though I glanced to the side, right where Pearl and Peridot were arguing again.
"Them? The weirdos," Amethyst said, completely uninterested, rolling her eyes.
"Are you okay, buddy?" she asked, hugging me from behind and shaking my head, as if trying to loosen up everything I'd been holding in.
That gesture worked more than I wanted to admit.
"It's been a while since you did this," I said after a few seconds.
"It's been a while since we spent this much time together," she replied, starting to give me a light shoulder massage.
I smiled involuntarily.
"You're like the sister I never had," I said sincerely.
Amethyst paused for a second, but then resumed the massage. Even so, you could see how happy she was, even in the way she was shaking my back.
I sighed again.
I glanced back at Peridot and Pearl, who were arguing, though I couldn't help but notice Peridot clutching her hand, right where traces of corruption still lingered. That detail never escaped me.
"By the way... where's Garnet?" I asked, looking up.
"Haven't you seen her?" Amethyst said with a strange smile.
"No," I replied, confused.
"I'm here," Garnet said beside me.
"You son of a bitch!" I blurted out, jumping up, and, purely by reflex, my body turned pink again.
"What the hell? How did you get here?" I asked, completely distraught.
"Magic," Garnet replied, her mysterious aura as calm as ever.
I stared at her for a few seconds, my heart still racing, as the pink color slowly faded from my skin.
"That was scary," I said as my pink form finally faded, feeling the pressure in my chest slowly ease away.
Garnet watched me intently, sitting with her legs together, calmly adjusting her glasses.
"That pink form... I've never seen it in Rose," she said in a serious, analytical voice.
"How should I know? I didn't see it," I replied, shrugging, trying to relax my body as if none of it really mattered.
That comment made Garnet tense slightly, just enough to be noticeable if you knew how to look. I had spoken about my mother as if it were something commonplace, as if it didn't matter, but she didn't say anything, she just remained silent.
"You know what," I said after a few seconds, "let's train, Garnet."
I started walking toward a nearby meadow, the grass swaying in the gentle afternoon breeze.
Garnet followed me with her eyes before standing up and walking behind me. Before moving forward completely, she slowly turned her head toward Amethyst.
"This future is your fault," she said with complete seriousness as she continued forward.
"Huh?" Amethyst replied, completely confused.
"Amethyst! Come here, damn it!" Pearl's voice called from afar, clearly fighting over some piece of metal that no one else would consider important.
"HAHAHAHAHA," Amethyst burst into laughter without a second thought and ran off toward the chaos as if it were the best show of the day.
Lapis, meanwhile, sat calmly atop the barn, completely oblivious to the chaos, engrossed in playing Minecraft as if the world weren't about to fall apart.
The meadow was peaceful. The wind gently stirred the grass, and the sky was already painted in shades of orange and purple, as if the day were reluctant to end. Steven walked a few steps ahead, trying to clear his head, but the pressure in his chest was still there, the one that always appeared just before he lost control.
Garnet stopped a few feet away from him and crossed her arms, watching him intently.
"So," she said calmly, "what exactly do you want to train?"
Steven exhaled slowly before answering.
"I want to train emotional control, you know? It's difficult with this thing. Maybe that's why you didn't see it in my mother, since from what I heard in the stories, she was very gentle."
Garnet remained silent as she listened to what Steven was saying. She didn't interrupt him. She simply let him continue.
"What are you feeling?" she asked after a few seconds.
Steven sat down on the grass, feeling the cool turf beneath his hands, while in the distance he could hear Amethyst's unmistakable laughter.
He clenched his fist tightly and looked at Garnet, who sat across from him, poised and attentive.
"What I feel... I feel anger, sadness, joy. Every emotion feels... it feels too strong. If someone tells me a joke, I could laugh myself to death. If someone tells me they squashed a fly, I'd cry until my eyes ran dry. And if someone says something about me... I feel like I want to beat them to a pulp."
The words came out heavy, as if they had been trapped inside for a long time.
Garnet looked at him silently, without judgment, without looking away, letting that silence weigh as heavily as the emotions Steven had just confessed.
"It seems to be something inside you, Steven," Garnet said as she sat down across from me and stared at me intently through her glasses. Her voice was firm, but not harsh, rather calm, as if she were talking about something she'd seen many times before.
"You're someone who's kept a lot of things to yourself. It's normal, everyone does. Everyone has secrets, Steven. But in your case... it seems to directly affect your emotional state when you enter that form."
I remained silent, listening.
"You're good. A good person," she continued. "The human I've liked the most in all the millennia I've been on Earth."
That took me by surprise. I felt a lump in my throat.
...
...
...
I looked at her expectantly. I'd always enjoyed talking to Garnet. There was something about her that made me feel safe, as if nothing bad could happen while I was around.
And then it happened.
The whole place turned blue.
It wasn't gradual. It wasn't slow. It just happened.
"Huh?" I said, completely confused.
The ground beneath my feet was blue. The sky was blue. The grass, the air, even the light... everything was tinged with a deep, silent blue.
"What the hell...?" I muttered, looking around, completely bewildered.
"Your eyes are closed, Steven," Garnet said gently.
I blinked.
"What is this?" I asked, feeling a mixture of unease and curiosity.
"It's something I can do," she replied. "We're inside our gems."
I felt a shiver run down my spine.
"I connected mine to yours so you can observe your inner self. What you feel you are. What you will be."
I looked at my hands. They didn't exactly look like hands. They were more... an idea of them, made of bluish light.
"Here," Garnet continued, "is where our gems, or hearts in your case, speak for us. It's not us speaking for them."
The place felt vast and empty at the same time. Like I was inside something alive... inside myself.
I swallowed.
"So... this is what I am on the inside?" I asked softly.
Garnet nodded slowly.
"It's a part of me," she said. "And it's not a small part."
I felt a pressure in my chest, but it wasn't pain. It was recognition. As if something that had always been there was finally looking me straight in the eye.
And for the first time... I was afraid of myself.
Garnet looked directly at me and began to speak. Her presence was firm, but not oppressive, as if each word were carefully chosen to stay with me for as long as necessary.
"Take some time to think, Steven. Be flexible with your actions and opinions. You must trust yourself, love yourself, and also the people around you."
Then, with a slow gesture, she removed her glasses and looked to the side. Instinctively, I turned in the same direction, as if I knew something important was about to be revealed.
"You know?" she continued. "I had that same thought too... and when it happened, I was alarmed."
She lowered her gaze to her gems, observing them with an expression difficult to describe, and then to the silhouettes of Ruby and Sapphire beside her, formed by that blue light that enveloped everything.
I didn't say anything. I was absorbing the information like a sponge, without interrupting, without thinking too much, just letting it all sink in.
Before us appeared the image of Ruby defending Sapphire from dark shadows that seemed to rise from the ground itself. They moved desperately, fighting, until those figures began to run aimlessly and finally fell into an endless ravine.
Garnet spoke again.
"Perhaps we were hurt by what they might have said to us. It wasn't easy hearing certain things after we fused by accident... and then after interrupting that fusion."
The images changed. Garnet watched as scenes unfolded in which Ruby and Sapphire traveled the Earth, experiencing each stage of what at that time could only be called their 'friendship.' Awkward moments, dangerous moments, long silences, and hasty decisions.
"Perhaps our way of acting wasn't the nicest," she said. "Ruby said things that... how to put it?"
I looked at her, searching for the right word.
"Like a swarm?" I suggested.
Garnet nodded.
"That's right," she replied, as we continued watching Ruby and Sapphire survive the Earth beasts together, falling and getting back up again and again.
I felt something tighten in my chest. It wasn't exactly sadness. It was understanding. As if that story, even though it wasn't mine, was slowly connecting with who I was.
And I understood that I wasn't just seeing Garnet's past.
I was seeing what it means to learn to accept yourself... even when it hurts.
"I lost my sight, Steven." The words came from Garnet's lips in a broken breath, as tears slowly streamed from her three eyes. "We lost everything that was once ours... the feeling of being able to be with other Gems in exchange for survival. The small things we could do: go to space, send other Gems... without knowing that what we were doing was wrong. We had only one vision: that of Homeworld. We couldn't learn anything else, only one point of view."
She paused, her gaze lost in the distance. "And when we were... banished? I couldn't tell you how it happened. It was something that confused us... confused us quite a lot. We almost got lost, wandering around Earth for several days with no purpose other than Homeworld."
The forms of Ruby and Sapphire appeared confused in those blue illusions. Each reflected an emotion: sadness, joy at the new discoveries they were making, anger at what they had lost. Their movements were clumsy, almost hesitant, but full of sincerity.
Garnet turned her gaze toward me. I found her resolute, yet vulnerable at the same time.
"Take your time, Steven," she said gently. "Emotions are healthy; it's normal to have them. If a Gem feels bad or feels happy, it's normal. Take some time to process everything and ask yourself questions."
"Will I feel anger, sadness, or any emotion all the time?" I asked in a whisper.
Garnet shook her head gently.
"If you ask me... no. Feeling all of that is okay. Let it out. You need to vent, Steven. It's not healthy to keep all those emotions bottled up. So tell me...
what are you feeling?"
Steven looked at her gently, a few tears sliding down his cheeks, but he was trying to do the same as Garnet: focus, analyze, feel without letting himself be overwhelmed.
He glanced to the opposite side, where we still saw the visions of Ruby and Sapphire, and Garnet followed his gaze. There, a smaller Steven moved, almost like an echo of himself, caught between memories and emotions.
"I've been thinking..." Steven said, his voice trembling, a bitter smile crossing his face as his eyes fixed on the van where they had almost taken his gem. "Maybe I'm overreacting... but I'm human. I think I'm more sensitive to you guys."
Garnet only tensed slightly, remaining silent, letting him speak without interrupting.
"What they said... what they thought... am I anyone? Am I someone else?" he continued, his voice barely a whisper. "Many of those opinions really hurt me. Even though I didn't feel them at the time, now that I'm... not grown up, but aware, it hurts what they might say about me, about my mother, about you. Will they hurt you? These are things I can't get out of my head."
The illusions shifted again, showing a young Steven training alongside his father. He often ignored his father just to concentrate, to try to improve.
"My behavior... wasn't pleasant back then," he said, his eyes fixed on the scene. "I focused on what you needed, but... what did I need?"
He watched as his father seemed somewhat disappointed each time he ignored him. "I said things that could have been like a swarm, right? They're things that come out of my hands. I was a child... but they're things that mark me as a human being. Human-gem? I don't know what I am... I'm one of a kind."
Steven lowered his gaze to his hands, tears streaming down his face. His body began to glow with a pink hue that slowly spread, a reflection of his intense mix of emotions and his connection to his power.
I lost my vision for several moments, lost in the confusion of what I should do as the heir to this gem I carry in my stomach.
The illusions constantly shifted, showing a Steven who enjoyed life, who tried new things, who laughed, who learned... but also versions of myself appeared: egocentric, sad, insecure, and many more throughout my life.
"The feeling..." I said, tears pouring down my face, as my pink form grew more intense and powerful.
"The little things that could change me... that's who I am. But is that what the world needs? Will the name Steven Universe, the person who carries it, truly stand up to what life has in store for him?"
My words cracked, my mind caught between fear and responsibility.
"That... that... that confuses me," I finally admitted, as the pink glow around my body began to fade.
"I think I might even lose myself, trying to be someone others want me to be..."
I looked at Garnet, searching for some guidance, some anchor in the midst of my inner storm.
"What should I do, Garnet?"
I looked at Garnet with tears in my eyes, feeling confusion and fear drowning me.
"What should I do?" I repeated in my head over and over, but I couldn't find the answer, only a whirlwind of emotions that made me feel pinker, stronger, and more lost.
Garnet stared at me, her three eyes shining with a calmness that seemed to be able to hold my chaos, and for the first time I felt that I was not alone in this.
Steven, she said gently, everything you're feeling is okay. You don't have to control everything right now. Every emotion that arises has a purpose, even the anger, even the sadness, even the joy that overwhelms you.
I nodded slowly, trying to let her words sink in, while my pink form trembled as if my entire body were listening and feeling every emotion at once.
Think about who you are, Garnet continued, think about who you want to be, not what others expect of you, not what your mother was, not what the Gems think you should do.
I felt the world around us begin to calm down. The blue tones that had previously reflected my mixed emotions were now softer, as if Garnet were drawing a path within me.
Every tear that fell, every heavy breath, every emotion I felt, Garnet accepted them and taught me to accept them too.
"Let them out," Garnet said. "Don't suppress them, don't hide them. Let your heart speak, let your emotions be your guide, because only when you know what you feel can you know what to do."
I closed my eyes for a moment and let myself be carried away by that feeling, imagining each fear, each sadness, each bit of anger transforming into pink light within me, expanding and merging with my power.
When I opened my eyes, Garnet was still standing before me, serious and resolute, but with a calmness that gave me strength.
"Okay," I finally said with a sigh. "I'm going to try. I'm going to feel everything and use it, not hide it."
Garnet nodded gently and smiled at me, the first genuine smile that seemed to understand me without words, and I knew I wasn't alone, that I could face this, that I could learn to control myself and move forward.
"Thank you, Garnet," I said as I opened my eyes and we reappeared on the grass.
"Don't worry, Steven," Garnet said, still standing there, though I did notice the water droplets on the floor.
"Steven... you're an inspiration to me. You're so kind, I don't know if I could ever be like you.
I hope this conversation helps you in some way, just like you've helped us over the years."
I shed a few tears and stood up, hugging Garnet tightly.
"I want to hug you both, can I?" I said through my tears.
Garnet unfused, and Ruby and Sapphire appeared with tears in their eyes as the three of us hugged.
"Thank you. I believe I can learn to love myself," I said through my tears.
End of Chapter 55.