chapter 176 part 2
Tyrion's face remained impassive, but in his heart, he felt a bit of sympathy for Tywin. Just a tiny bit.
Tyrion said seriously, "Ser Barristan Selmy was Lord Commander of Robert I's Kingsguard. Of the seven Kingsguard of Aerys II, only he and Jaime survive today."
"When people speak of him, it's as if Serwyn of the Mirror Shield and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight walk the earth again... If they saw the fearless Barristan fighting alongside Stannis Baratheon or Renly Baratheon, how do you think they would feel?"
Cersei's face stiffened. She turned her head away to look at a beautiful flower vase on the other side of the room, which she suddenly seemed to find very interesting.
After a pause, she said casually, "I didn't think of that."
Tyrion's tone was very serious. "Lord Tywin did, which is why he ordered me to take his place as Hand, to end this absurd farce and make your son behave."
Queen Cersei turned her face back. She looked at her calm imp of a brother, her tone laced with mockery. "Joffrey doesn't even like to listen to me; he certainly won't listen to you."
Tyrion shrugged. "That's not necessarily so, my sister."
Seeing Tyrion wasn't joking, Queen Cersei said again, "Why should Joffrey listen to you? He doesn't like you."
Tyrion smiled slightly. "More accurately, he detests me. Since we were children, I haven't let Joffrey run wild like others have."
He continued, "Why does he dare to disobey you? Because he knows his mother would never hurt him."
Cersei warned, "Tyrion, if you think I will let you bully my son, then you are hopelessly ill."
Tyrion couldn't help but sigh. Cersei always missed the point.
"I am Joffrey's uncle. Joffrey is as safe with me as he is with you."
As he spoke, Tyrion clumsily slid from his chair and took one of Cersei's hands.
"What I mean is, if he feels threatened, he'll be more obedient. I don't actually intend to harm him. In any case, we are brother and sister. The situation is a mess. Whether you admit it or not, you do need me... and if your son wants to keep that ugly iron chair, he needs me too."
Queen Cersei looked down at her hand. "I told you I would give you a chance. I trust Jaime's judgment. He said you have always been very clever."
Tyrion said with a grin, "It's just a bit of cleverness, that's all. Most importantly, we Lannisters are a loving family, which makes us quite reliable."
Queen Cersei thought for a moment, then said, "In that case... it's worth a try. My condition is that you are not to harm my son."
Tyrion smiled faintly. "Of course. Although my way of loving him is somewhat different from yours, my love for Joffrey is by no means small."
"And another thing..."
Queen Cersei stared at the impish Hand, her voice cold. "Tyrion, remember this. Although I have accepted you, you are only the Hand of the King in name. In reality, you are *my* Hand. Before you take any action, you must first discuss your plans and intentions with me. You are not to act on your own without my consent. Is that clear?"
Tyrion inclined his head slightly. "Crystal clear, Your Grace."
Seeing her imp of a Hand agree without the slightest hesitation, Queen Cersei became somewhat suspicious of his sincerity. She asked, "My brother, do you agree?"
Tyrion placed a hand over his heart. "My dear sister, Tyrion, Hand of the King, is at your command."
*But only when it suits me,* he added silently in his head.
Tyrion's smile was very sincere... To maintain the affection between siblings, sometimes a little white lie is needed.
Queen Cersei pulled back the hand her imp of a Hand was holding. A hint of satisfaction finally appeared on her face.
"Very well. Since we now have the same goal, there should be no more secrets between us. The Queen Regent's Hand cannot be a blind man."
Cersei was a little impatient. "What do you want to know?"
Tyrion's gaze sharpened. "You said Joffrey wanted Lord Eddard's head, and Varys's counsel drove away Barristan. Then... was Hand of the King Jon Arryn truly poisoned by his wife, Lysa Tully, and Littlefinger?"
Queen Cersei frowned. "That was the result of Stark's investigation."
"I've been investigating some things recently. For example, one of the rumors from the King's Landing riot."
Queen Cersei's gaze turned cold. "You're actually interested in the nonsense of those commoners? I'm already starting to feel a little disappointed in you, my Hand."
Tyrion leaned closer to Queen Cersei, their eyes meeting.
"Of course I'm interested... My dear sister, not seeing something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. For instance, your loving relationship with Jaime..."
*SLAP!*
Before Tyrion could finish, Queen Cersei slapped him across the face.
Tyrion rubbed his cheek and grimaced. "Cersei, sister, who you take to bed is none of my business. But you only open your legs for one brother and haven't given the other the same treatment. That hardly seems fair..."
*SLAP!* Tyrion received another of Cersei's slaps.
"Hss... Gently, Cersei, I was only joking. Honestly, I'd rather find a pretty serving girl to play with. I truly don't understand, besides admiring his own reflection, what does Jaime even see in you?"
*SLAP!* Queen Cersei slapped Tyrion again.
Tyrion's cheeks were red and stinging with pain, but he still maintained a slight smile.
"Cersei, if you hit me again, I might get angry."
"And what will you do?"
Tyrion smiled slyly. "Why, run and tell Father, of course."
Tyrion's threat worked. Queen Cersei didn't deliver another slap, which made him sigh in relief. At the same time, many things connected in his mind, and he felt some sympathy for his brother Jaime.
"My dear sister, I am your Hand. I am your man. Even for Jaime's sake, I don't want to speak out of turn. Besides... our aging father is busy enough. As a good son, I should certainly be more considerate of him."
Tyrion very sincerely soothed Queen Cersei's agitated heart. He was very worried that if he pushed the mother lion too far, she would kill him on the spot to silence him.
(end of chapter)