As soon as the door closed behind him, I leaned against the table.It wasn't exhaustion — it was a tightness in my chest coming from a place I was still learning how to name.
Now I knew about his losses, about the wounds his silence tried to hide, and I also knew the things people said about him at the university.The gossip, the twisted versions, the stories told by people who never bothered to look twice to understand.
I didn't know exactly what had happened to that friend the landlord mentioned, but I knew enough to understand it hadn't been Rafael's fault.He had always tried to protect what he loved — even from himself.
That was why he tried to push me away, why he held onto me every time I almost fell. And that was why, now that I had truly fallen, he looked like he had taken the hit with me.
I couldn't keep waiting for him to take the next step, because now I knew — I knew that what I felt for him wasn't a simple infatuation. Rafael was far too important for me to stay still, even if I was a complete emotional disaster…
I took a deep breath.
I grabbed my crutches and went to the bathroom. I was already managing to balance on my own, and that gave me a small, silly sense of pride.I turned on the shower, steam fogging the mirror.I sat on the little stool beside the sink, slowly taking off my clothes.The shower was the only place where my mind quieted down enough for me to hear what I felt.
Warm water ran down my shoulders and I could feel my body becoming mine again.
My knee still hurt a little, yes, but it no longer stopped me from doing things on my own.I smiled at that.Soon — very soon — I'd be back to my routine, to the classroom, to the world.
I turned off the water and reached for the towel on the hook beside the shower.My foot slipped, the impact was sharp, and my knee bent in a way it shouldn't have.
The pain hit hard.
— Damn… — I whispered, somewhere between the shock and the breath leaving my lungs.
My phone. I needed my phone, but it was on the kitchen table.
I always took my phone to the shower because I liked listening to music, but today I'd been so lost in thought I forgot.
— Great. — I muttered. — I'm going to die stranded in my own shower.
That was when I heard the front door open.
— Helena? — his voice. — I saw your light was still on…
— Rafael! — I yelled. — Here! I fell again!
I heard hurried steps coming toward the bathroom door — which was only pushed shut.
My heart jumped into my throat.
— DON'T COME IN! — I yelled suddenly. — I… I was showering! I'm… not dressed!
His steps paused for a second. Then a low grumble:
— You're impossible. — and it wasn't real annoyance — it was worry, disguised the way he always did.
— I know — I tried to laugh and failed.
— I'm going to come in. I'll keep my eyes closed. — he warned, firm.
— Okay… — my voice came out small. — That's fine.
The door opened slowly.
Rafael stepped in with his eyes shut, hands searching the air, the floor, anything that would lead him to me.
— Helena?
— Here… — I murmured, my voice trembling from the pain.
When he found me, he lifted me with care — but with enough strength to make it clear I wasn't going to fall again.His arms held me by the waist, his body so close I could feel his heart racing too.
— Did you hurt yourself badly? — he asked, voice low and tense.
— I'm okay… — I breathed. — It just… started hurting again.
With my free hand, I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around my body.
He still held my waist, firm, as if letting go would be dangerous.
— You can open your eyes now. — I whispered.
Rafael exhaled slowly, like someone returning to themselves.He opened his eyes — cautious, careful.
— Are you a child? — he asked, voice low but firm. — When your leg is immobilized, showering has to be done carefully. You should've told me you were going to bathe. I would've put the stool inside the shower, left the towel close, the crutches too.
I rolled my eyes, unable to hold his gaze for long.
— My knee was fine. I didn't fall because of it. It was my foot that slipped — I muttered, sulking.
Rafael sighed, and without another word, he lifted me into his arms — with that familiar strength — as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
He carried me to the bedroom and set me gently on the bed.
— Which clothes do you want? — he asked, already heading to the dresser.
— Top drawer. The blue pajamas. — I answered. — The light-blue shorts and the shirt with the little clouds on the sleeves.
He found them and handed them to me.When my fingers touched the fabric, a sudden heat rushed to my cheeks.I needed something else, but saying it would make me die of embarrassment.
— I… need one more thing. — I murmured, looking away.
Rafael stared at me for two seconds — enough to understand.His face flushed immediately.
— Which drawer? — he asked, voice clipped, but a few tones lower than before.
— Third.
He nodded, took a breath like he needed courage, closed his eyes, opened the drawer, reached in without looking, grabbed something at random, and handed it to me — still without opening his eyes.
Then he turned away so fast he almost tripped on the rug.
— Can you…? — he stuttered, staring at the door instead of at me. — Get dressed?
— I can. — I answered too quickly.
— I… I'm going downstairs. — he said, still not facing me. — In a few minutes I'll come back up to check if you're lying down. And… okay.
I nodded.He left.
I dressed fast, trying not to overthink — but everything inside me felt intense, impossible to sort out.It was such a strong embarrassment I almost laughed.
Almost.
I finished and wrapped the towel around my hair, drying it with automatic movements.I was still breathing deeply when I heard him knock.
— You can come in — I said.
Rafael stepped in slowly.His face still held a trace of embarrassment, but there was something gentler there too.
He approached without asking permission, and then, carefully, he took the towel from my hands.
He stood beside me and began drying my hair — slow movements, steady, gentle, as if each strand mattered.His touch was warm. His breath too.
And I, with water still dripping down my neck, felt the moment carve itself inside me — precise, delicate.