I'm so tired tonight.
Not physically, my body is fine
but my mind, my heart, my thoughts…
they're all running in circles,
and every circle somehow leads back to you.
I've spent hours thinking, replaying, questioning, imagining.
I've tried to tell myself to stop,
to focus on something else,
but nothing sticks.
Every quiet moment reminds me of you, every memory pulls me back,
every shadow in the room
feels like it could be you.
I hate that i'm like this.
I hate that i can't switch off, that i'm consumed by wondering what you're doing, who you're talking to,
who you're sending your pictures
or laughter to now.
And yet, even in this exhaustion,
I can't stop caring.
I can't stop wanting you.
It's a strange kind of torture, being so tired and yet unable to rest because my heart won't let go, because my mind keeps whispering your name in every silent room, every empty corner.
And here i am, still awake,
still thinking of you,
still letting the weight of you settle
over me like a quiet, heavy rain.