The sun hung lazily over the horizon when Zeke finally opened his eyes. His face was half-buried against the roof tiles, a thin line of drool running down his cheek. The Invincible Stick lay across his chest like a sacred relic of stupidity.
He blinked blearily at the sky. "…Still alive. Guess immortality's working out so far."
[Ding! Congratulations, Host, for surviving another night without choking on your own arrogance.]
"Good morning to you too," he muttered, sitting up and stretching. His spine cracked like an old floorboard.
Below, a few guards patrolled the courtyard. When one spotted him awake, he bolted to fetch breakfast. Zeke grinned. "See? Fear-based leadership—effective as always."
A shadow landed soundlessly beside him. Zeke nearly jumped off the roof.
"You're going to kill me one day," he groaned.
"Good," Alora replied flatly, folding her arms.
"You rehearse that line, don't you?"
She ignored him. "There was unrest last night. The villagers found the remains of the beast you killed."
"I call that proof of heroism."
"The corpse was missing its head."
Zeke coughed. "Scientific dissection."
His eyes flicked upward slightly, mumbling under his breath, "Don't say anything."
[Ding! Correction: Host's definition of science is 'hitting things until they stop moving.']
Alora raised a brow. "…Talking to yourself again?"
"Nope. Meditating."
"Your meditation sounds like arguing."
"It's… advanced meditation."
A trembling guard climbed the roof, balancing a tray of food. "Y-Young Lord, breakfast!"
"Ah, sustenance!" Zeke declared, taking the bowl dramatically. "You may live another day."
The guard fled instantly.
He turned toward Alora. "You eat?"
"No."
"Ever?"
"No."
He frowned. "Not even if I reach godhood?"
"No."
Zeke squinted at her mask. "You're like a brick with legs."
"Better than being a child with a death wish."
Zeke grinned. "Fair."
[Ding! Daily Sign-In complete. Reward: Qi Refining Realm Elevation Pills (x10).]
The bowl nearly slipped from his hands. "Ten?! Did I hear that right?!"
[Ding! Affirmative. Each pill enhances Qi circulation and strengthens foundational meridians. Ideal for rapid advancement. Also ideal for spontaneous combustion.]
Zeke blinked. "…Combustion?"
[Minor side effect. Roughly fifty percent chance.]
Alora looked at him warily. "You're making that face again. What are you planning?"
He smiled. "Personal development."
"Meaning?"
"Exploration of limits."
"Meaning?"
"I might explode."
She sighed. "I'll prepare a burial cloth."
Later that afternoon, Zeke sat cross-legged in a small, dusty meditation chamber. The air smelled faintly of old wood and regret. He lined the ten shimmering pills neatly before him.
"If I die," he muttered quietly, "build a statue of me holding the stick."
[Ding! I'll engrave the epitaph: 'Here lies Zeke Blade, who thought eating ten bombs was a good idea.']
Zeke smirked. "You've got no faith in me."
[Correct.]
He rolled his shoulders, took a deep breath, and — without hesitation — swallowed all ten pills.
The reaction was instant. His Qi flared uncontrollably, roaring through his meridians like liquid fire. Pain tore through his body. He fell forward, clutching his chest.
"AHHH—!"
[Ding! Host is currently 80% pain, 20% regret.]
He gasped, forcing his Qi into order, trying to tame the wild surge. The pressure built until his entire body glowed faintly.
Outside, Alora felt the disturbance. She burst through the door, sword drawn—
Then froze.
Zeke floated a few inches off the ground, surrounded by swirling currents of energy, eyes clenched shut, his expression halfway between agony and determination.
"Idiot," she muttered softly.
He roared, slamming his palms to the ground. The room shook, dust bursting into the air. A ripple of energy expanded outward, cracking the stone.
Moments later, the light faded.
Zeke lay sprawled on the floor, smoke rising from his hair.
[Ding! Congratulations, Host. You've survived idiocy through pure stubbornness. Cultivation: Peak Qi Refining achieved.]
Outside, guards panicked.
"Explosion!"
"Was that lightning?!"
"Is the young lord alive?!"
The door creaked open. Zeke stumbled out, half-burnt, hair pointing in every direction.
"I did it," he croaked.
Alora lowered her sword. "You look ridiculous."
He coughed. "That's the look of a genius reborn."
"You smell like roasted duck."
"Still progress."
[Ding! More like roasted genius.]
Zeke gritted his teeth. "Not now."
Alora tilted her head. "What?"
"Nothing! Just… thinking loudly."
[Ding! New Side Quest unlocked: Fortify the Border City's Defenses.]
Zeke groaned. "Can't I have one day without another job?"
[Ding! Quest completion options: fortify city walls, strengthen guards, or establish defensive formations. Choose any one to complete.]
"Three options? Perfect. I'll pick whichever is least exhausting."
[Ding! Excellent. Minimum effort for minimum dignity.]
Alora narrowed her eyes. "You're doing that whispering thing again."
"I'm… thinking strategically."
"Loudly."
He spent the afternoon inspecting the city walls. The cracks were deep, the watchtowers crooked, and one of the gates was held together with rope.
Zeke sighed. "This place is held together by prayers and poultry."
"At least the chickens are loyal," Alora murmured.
He chuckled. "True."
He gathered the guards in the courtyard. "Men, today we strengthen this city!"
They stared at him, blank-faced.
"And by 'we,' I mean you. I'll supervise."
Collective groans filled the yard.
Alora stepped forward and took over the training herself. Her sword flashed through the air, precise and elegant. Zeke watched from the shade, impressed.
"She's scary when she's serious," he whispered to himself.
[Ding! Host, if admiration increased cultivation, you'd be Immortal by now.]
"Can you not—"
"Not what?" Alora asked from across the yard.
"…Nothing!"
Later, he helped the villagers fortify the broken wall — mostly by handing out tools and pretending to know what he was doing.
"Excellent teamwork," he said while holding a single brick. "I'll let you all handle the rest for morale reasons."
A little girl ran up and handed him a wooden flower. "Thank you for keeping us safe, Lord Boom!"
He blinked. "Lord… Boom?"
She nodded proudly. "Because you make the ground shake when you fight!"
Zeke chuckled softly. "…Yeah. I like that."
Alora watched from a distance, her posture relaxed. For just a second, her eyes softened behind the mask.
That night, Zeke stretched out on the rooftop, hands behind his head, staring up at the stars. The city was quiet, the air cool.
"Peak Qi Refining in two days," he murmured. "Not bad for a disappointment."
Alora landed silently beside him.
"You're reckless," she said.
"You're repetitive."
"You're alive."
He smiled faintly. "That's progress."
[Ding! Day Two Sign-In complete. See you tomorrow, Disaster Lord.]
Zeke sighed. "Can I get one title that doesn't sound like an insult?"
[Statistically unlikely.]
He laughed quietly, closing his eyes under the night sky. "Fine… I'll take it."