"Wait, is that Riley?"
"Oh my gosh, it is. Wasn't it his idea in the first place?"
"Probably. I bet he blackmailed her into trying it—there's no way a girl like her would try it without him manipulating her."
"I kind of feel bad for him. All he got was just one day off, now he's back to school. Now we're getting stupid mental health assemblies because of him."
"Meh, I'm not too mad. It pushes back exams, so I don't really give a shit. I wonder if he'll try it again, though?"
"Hey, don't joke about that. Kara's hot; don't let him take her with him."
Walking down the hallway, Riley put his earbuds in to block out the words.
…Is this world even worth protecting?
They were unaware of Riley's fights against the other servants. Of course, he hadn't done all that well at protecting others. However, unmistakably, he had done his best to fight for those who couldn't defend themselves.
Against the servants of Ghira, who took up the mantle of killers, with their extraordinary strength and abilities, Riley had risked his life multiple times.
Continuing his slow walk down the hallway, Riley looked down at the floor, holding his backpack.
I do all that—and this is what I get? That's just… no.
Taking a deep breath, Riley sighed.
It's pointless to be upset.
At the end of the day, I'll fight to protect these people. Regardless of whether or not they accept me, regardless of how they view me—I'll do it.
Simply because it was "the right thing to do," Riley tossed away his grudges and hatred.
—
Sitting down in class, Riley was stared at. Everywhere in the school, no matter where he went, he was looked at with three general reactions.
Disgust, pity, and gratitude.
Looking down at the desk, Riley heard whispers. He clutched the phone in his pocket, turning the music up in his earbuds to tune them out.
Eventually, it'll blow over. No one will care soon enough. That's just how teenagers work. I think.
Feeling a tap on his wrist, Riley looked up to see someone with a bottle of water. He took out his earbuds, looking at him with confusion.
"Huh?"
"Hey, hey," the man snickered, as Riley saw that his friend was pointing his phone at him. "Want some water? Or did you drink too much already?"
Riley swallowed his spit, lightly clenching his fist. He looked down at the desk, deciding to get up and leave the room as he heard laughing behind him.
Walking down the hallway, Riley went to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. Seeing his pathetic face, Riley leaned on the sink, digging his nails into his palm.
…
It's all boring.
Sitting surrounded by people at lunch, Kara was separated from Riley by the staff for obvious reasons.
"Kara, what did Riley do to make you try it?" One girl asked. "Don't listen to him anymore—just stay away from him, nobody likes him anyways."
"If he talks to you," a boy boldly declared, "we'll make sure he leaves you alone afterwards. Don't worry."
"Uh-huh," Kara blankly vocalized, resting her cheek on her fist as she leaned against the table. Their faces were all a blur. Their names hardly worth remembering, she lost all her intense energy from her first day, being reduced to a bored, uninterested person.
This is all so worthless. What does any of it even mean? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
The only future I have is killing. It gets boring after the millionth time. There's nothing left for me here.
Even if I'm safe, it doesn't mean anything. Pointless.
How utterly pointless this all is.
Quickly getting up from her seat, Kara began to head towards the bathroom.
"Huh? Kara, where're you going?!"
Following her, the girls spoke in turns. Though, she wasn't interested in anything they had to say.
The double suicide failed. The last attempt at a meaningful death was screwed over.
Whatever. I'll just try again. I'll plunge myself into the sea—it's the only method I can think of that would work anyways.
Entering a stall, Kara sat down and waited for it all to end.
…
—There are other options, huh?
The sun readily visible through the windows, Riley walked down the hallway. Having finished his final period of the school day, he was going to head home.
What else is there for me, then? Probably fighting the servants.
Then, I need to get stronger. But not like they do.
The servants of the Forgotten King would gain strength by killing humans. But, wanting to set himself apart, Riley chose to do it the old fashioned way.
Utilizing the sixth sense, Riley approached Kara as she walked out of the school. She turned back to see him, her eyes relaxed. Surrounded by students, they quickly tried to pull her away and separate the two, yet,
"Let go."
Forcing the girls to let go of her, Kara jerked her arm away. The students around her surprised, they were stunned to see her approach him.
"Riley," she began, brushing her hair off to the side as the wind blew. "What do you want?"
Their relationship was, after all, a complicated one.
What might have been easily mistaken for "love" on the night of their planned departure, was immediately shattered once they learned they had both survived.
Entwined, undoubtedly. Forever they would be interlinked in some manner, but their personal feelings were neither love nor hatred. Difficult to describe, their apathy after the failed suicide extended to the world and each other.
To Riley, Kara was simply a woman he tried to die with. It was an uncomfortable experience, and this drove away all interest in her as a romantic partner.
And to Kara, Riley was also simply a boy she had tried to die with. More focused on their survival of it rather than the attempt itself, the image of Riley she'd built up in her mind—that of a poetic symbol for suicide itself based entirely on sentimentality—had crumbled.
Thus, they accurately described the other as a familiar stranger.
"I want to get stronger. Besides, we go home together—my parents took you in. Come."
Nodding her head, she followed him to his car. The drive home was quiet.
…
Utilizing the gym's free trial, Riley got to work.
Of course, he was a complete beginner in the gym; clueless and unaware, he was like a baby duck navigating a pond.
Going with everything he'd seen online,
A bit of bench press, some squats, maybe some pushups and situps… plus spider curls and "tren," whatever that is…
Having a beautiful woman hold him as he trained so that his muscles would be weak enough to respond to the volume, Riley got plenty of stares, even outside of school.
"This isn't what I envisioned," Kara unamusedly said, looking around at the gym. Surrounding the two, music played from the speakers as everyone did their thing.
"Huh?" Riley hummed, letting out a soft whimper as he barely managed to get up 100 pounds on his bench press—which he quickly racked. He was skin and bones, after all.
"When you said you wanted to get stronger, I envisioned we'd kill some people. But instead… urgh. I haven't killed in days—I'm starved for it."
"Oh."
"And that aside, what're you even training for?"
"...To put a stop to all of Ghira's servants."
"Oh? You know there's thirty of them, including us. All across the world."
"Then… well, I guess I'll fight them one by one until they either give up and stop hurting others… or die."
"Haha."
Inadvertently bursting with a small laughter, Kara held her hand over her mouth. For the first time in a day, she had an earnest laugh.
"Huh? What's wrong?" Riley asked, sitting up on the bench and turning his head towards her.
"You? You don't seriously believe you have that kind of strength, do you?"
"W-well… even if I don't, I'll try. At least just for a little bit."
Kara once more laughed, starting to irritate Riley.
"How silly. It's all meaningless, don't you know?" Kara asked, putting her hands in her pockets.
"...What?"
"This world, everything in it. All of this is worthless."
"That's… that's not…"
"True," he was unable to finish. Having hardly taken the time to consider whether or not this world really was worthless, Riley was reminded of Scott's words.
Back then, Scott claimed that because everything was worthless, all that mattered was enjoying oneself. —Nothing mattered, so simply having pleasure to pass the time until he died was all that mattered.
Riley had affirmatively disagreed with those words. Not that he believed the world was or wasn't worthless—he was simply unsure of it.
Once more being told that the world was worthless, Riley struggled again.
"How? C'mon, prove me wrong. In the end, we all die anyways. Everything you spend a lifetime working towards will inevitably be lost from your hand. And when that happens, you'll end up just like those who never existed. Pointless and fleeting—I can't see why any of it matters."
Despite her previous laughter, when Riley looked at her face, he saw an unbearable sadness behind it.
Logic and feeling—those were the things guiding her worldview.
Coming to the logical conclusion that all will become naught, yet led on that path by sorrow, that was unmistakably the journey to her view.
"Well…"
Struggling to provide a counterargument, Riley was forced into thought.
What matters? In the end, what really does matter? I harshly disagree with Scott, but she seems a bit more believable.
Wait, what does matter? What matters to me so much that I can't dare say it's worthless?
Actually, isn't it…? No, I guess now's not the time.
"I… I don't know."
Feeling proven right, Kara softly smiled, though it did not reach her eyes.
"Just get back to work, sissy boy."
"Hey—!"
…
Home after hitting the gym, Riley laid down on the couch. A blanket over him, Riley was soothed by its warmth.
He'd been kicked out of his room by Kara, which was permitted by his parents. Wanting him to be as close to them as possible, his mom and dad set him up in the living room.
He didn't mind all that much—he was fine with letting Kara use his bed, so long as she didn't move his stuff around.
Closing his eyes, Riley wished to fall asleep.
Exercising… it's less painful than I remember. Well, I guess that's due to my healing.
His eyes which he'd just shut immediately opening up once more, Riley stared at the ceiling.
That's right. I've got to get stronger. I might even learn some martial arts too, who knows?
So far, my ability is related to suicide… if that's the case, then surely there's got to be more methods out there than just [Hanging], [Bleeding], and [Shooting], right? There's gotta be [Falling], [Drowning], and… I guess [Crashing], right?
Mhm. I have to get stronger.
Ah.
With even the thought of hurting others increasing his urge, Riley hugged his stomach.
I haven't killed in so long. I don't get the urge to kill Kara, but when I'm at school, sometimes it feels too much to bear.
The urge was a consistent assault. Hardly taking time to stop, it had slowly whittled away at his self control.
I don't want to hurt others. I don't want to kill anyone. I just… agh.
All of a sudden, it was getting to an extreme. His mouth salivating, Riley breathed heavily. He got off the couch, clenching his fists.
I don't want to kill. I've been doing so well for a few days. That's right, I've been doing well, haven't I?
Then, to treat myself, even just a little bit…
Though he knew it was wrong, Riley summoned [Bleeding] in his hand. Gripping the handle tightly, he slowly lumbered through the apartment, brushing just past his room which was near the front door.
Wait, no, it's wrong. It's wrong to do that.
I know. I know.
The nature of the urge was that it attacked him whenever he was at his weakest. Whether it was because he let his guard down or when he was emotionally weak, it attacked as fast as lightning. Convincing him that even just one death was acceptable, it had surely broken into his heart and bound him.
But I've been doing well—I deserve it. Besides, I just can't control myself. Just one person. That's all I need—
Sliding glass. A gentle breeze not heard prior. Riley's head cocked to see his bedroom door.
…
The ocean's beautiful waves swarmed around her knees.
It was cold. Cold, yet beautiful, as she gently sat down upon the sand, submerged in the water.
That's right. It's all worthless.
This is it. A final, beautiful action to put an end to this shameful life.
"A beautiful suicide."
Softly escaping her lips, that juxtaposition had been brought out into the world.
Quiet, alone, surrounded by the darkness of the night with only the soft waves to keep her company, a singular tear fell down from her eyes.
"—There's no such thing as a beautiful suicide, don't you know?"
Turning her back, she saw the dark silhouette of a caped man holding onto a floating noose, flying through the air.
Illuminated by the moon, his soft smile was visible.
"You, what're…" she began to say, as Riley landed on the water.
"I owe you one. I was about to commit a really big mistake, but you distracted me. —Thanks, Kara."
His cape, which was really just a white blanket wrapped around his neck, blowing in the night wind, the wannabe hero—Riley Woods, closed one eye as he smiled and pointed at her.
"—There are other options, y'know?"