On the train, lights flashed by the window in a chaotic, swift pattern.
It was mostly dark, making it difficult to see the faces of the people across from them. They sat opposite each other, neither speaking.
Suddenly, the person opposite asked, "Tell me your name again, what's it?"
"Chu Jiajun."
The person paused. "My real name?"
"What else?"
"My name is Xu Tuo. It's not my real name, but everyone calls me that."
Chu Jiajun thought this person was very strange. "Why give me a pseudonym?"
Xu Tuo shrugged. He really liked being called that.
Normally, people called Chu Jiajun "Xu Fei." Chu Jiajun disliked that name; he wished he could erase it from his dictionary and replace it with his own.
The train rumbled aimlessly and endlessly. Another long silence passed, until Chu Jiajun said, "Today is my birthday."
"Happy birthday, little one. My husband is about to be born too."
A cream cake appeared on the small table in front of Chu Jiajun. Xu Tuo took in the cake's design and figured this person wasn't really a "kid," but rather a generation apart.
"This is the fashion these days," he said. The cake immediately transformed into a modern-day mousse cheesecake.
Chu Jiajun frowned. From the aesthetics of his time, the cake seemed a bit shabby, lacking the vibrant red and green cream coloring.
But it didn't matter.
Candles appeared on the cake, and flames appeared on the candles. With fire comes smoke. A cigarette appeared between his fingers, and he leaned over it.
He asked Xu Tuo, "Don't you smoke?"
Xu Tuo wasn't a big smoker; he'd been more of a Japanese cigarette smoker. He didn't like things that left a scent on him.
Chu Jiajun smoked alone. The carriage was thick with smoke, but it didn't smell.
"Have you ever thought about where this train is going?"
"It's just going straight ahead. This is where we're going to end up."
"I want to get off. I've tried jumping off before, but I always come back."
"You want to go back?"
Actually, by being prepared, they could leave this train. But Xu Tuo didn't want to go back, and neither did they. They could only wander this train forever.
"Do you have kids? Your children?" Chu Jiajun decided to find something to talk about; he could get anyone to tell him something.
"The landlord's son." Xu Tuo clearly wasn't going to fall for his little trick.
"Will he be sad if you died?"
"Yes, because he'll have to make his own money without a tenant paying rent every month."
Chu Jiajun thought about his own side, staring at the cake quietly. He thought, Ji Yongtao would be happy if he died.
He could claim military honors, medals and bonuses, and find a partner without worry.
An annoying problem had vanished, like a cockroach had been cleared from his house.
For some reason, he suddenly felt a piercing pain, his hands shaking with pain—that person must be so happy he'd be attending social gatherings, celebrating with colleagues, giving interviews, describing how he became a hero...
Xu Tuo asked, "He only found out who you were at the end?"
Chu Jiajun asked, "What about you?"
"I told the truth from the beginning. I said everything I needed to say." He chuckled softly. "I have a feeling he and I are on the same wavelength. Sometimes he's even braver than I am."
"What's that feeling like?"
"...It's good. It's reassuring. I feel like I'm finally not alone. Actually, I have a lot of friends, but friends aren't always there for you." Xu Tuo played with the flames on the cake with his fingers. "People like us are most afraid of getting involved with people who aren't our kind."
Chu Jiajun chuckled dryly, a rage rising inside him, a desire to fight this man.
"...You're involved with that kind of person?"
"A criminal police officer."
Xu Tuo paused for a few seconds, swallowing back the words that were about to burst out. "Yeah,"
Xu Tuo asked. "So you told him the truth?"
Chu Jiajun leaned over the candlelit cake. In the dark carriage, his eyes, flickering in the firelight, held a hint of despair, yet a hint of a smile.
As he blew out the candle, he whispered, "I never told him a single truth."
"What if I gave you the choice again?"
In the darkness, the young man's voice gritted his teeth, a malicious smile lingering in his voice. "I'd send him away first. I've thought about it. As long as he lives, I won't have a chance."
Xu Tuo pondered for a moment, gazing out the window at the endless black sea. He thought, if he had the choice again, he would still move in as a tenant in the Dai family.
If he had the choice a hundred times, ten thousand times, he would go see Dai Xueming again, repeating countless mistakes.
He smiled bitterly, "Little Chu, what wish did you make just now?"
Chu Jiajun leaned back lazily in his chair. "I wish they'd never find the two million I hid."
"Don't worry, two million won't be worth much soon. In the first-tier cities, you can't even afford a down payment."
"They'll live in this kind of living hell? Great!"
What a bullshit, Xu Tuo thought.
The young man on the opposite side chattered non-stop, talking about what they would do if they met again, where to attack first and then, how to launch a surprise attack and how to win... Xu Tuo found it interesting and wanted to see a real fight.
"So you hate this person, right? You would rather crawl back and drag him down, and it would be best if he gets nothing."
But Chu Jiajun suddenly became quiet, and his dancing movements also stopped. He sat there in a daze, silent for a long time.
"Actually, I'm just talking." He said, "I know that when I'm gone, nothing I say will be of any use."
"You don't care about his celebration and promotion?"
"...That's good. If you kill me, he will have made a contribution, and he will have money, and he will be on the news and become a hero, with a bunch of beauties who look like Yama X Baihui surrounding him every day." As he spoke, he found it funny and covered his face with laughter, "It's better for him to be happy than unhappy. If I die in a way that makes him happy, my life will not be lived in vain."