Christina Moran had been on exactly three dates in her life.
One ended with the guy asking if her nose was "a metaphor."
Another involved a karaoke duet where her nose whistled louder than the mic.
And the third? Well, that was tonight.
Edward Callen, pale and polished, had invited her to a fancy rooftop restaurant called Altitude 88, where the waiters wore bowties and the water had bubbles.
Christina had dressed up. She wore her best blouse, her least judgmental heels, and a nose strip—not for skincare, but to redirect rainfall.
Because of course, it started raining.
Not just a drizzle. A full-blown cinematic downpour.
As they stepped onto the rooftop, Edward smiled. "Romantic, isn't it?"
Christina smiled back, already feeling water funneling into her nostrils like she was a human rain gauge.
They sat. The waiter handed them menus. Christina tried to focus, but her nose was now gurgling.
Edward looked concerned. "Are you… okay?"
"I'm fine," she said, voice nasal. "Just… absorbing the atmosphere."
Then came the soup.
Cream of mushroom. Hot. Steamy. Innocent.
Christina leaned in to take a sip—and her nose, ever ambitious, inhaled the steam like it was oxygen. She sneezed. Violently.
The soup flew.
Edward's shirt was now a Jackson Pollock painting of fungi and dairy.
"Oh my God," Christina gasped. "I'm so sorry!"
Edward wiped his shirt, chuckling. "It's okay. I needed a reason to stop pretending I like mushroom."
Then came dessert.
A delicate chocolate mousse topped with powdered sugar.
Christina leaned in again, cautiously.
Her nose, now dry and cocky, snorted the sugar like it was trying to relive the 1980s.
She coughed. Edward coughed. The waiter coughed.
"Would you like a tissue, Ma'am?" the waiter asked, holding out a whole box.
Christina nodded, defeated. "And maybe a snorkel."
Despite the chaos, Edward laughed. Genuinely.
"You know," he said, "this is the most memorable date I've ever had."
Christina smiled, powdered sugar still clinging to her nostrils. "Same. I think I just invented nasal dessert inhalation."
They both laughed.
Because in the end, Christina's nose didn't ruin the date.
It made it.