Ethan's brow furrowed deeper, confusion taking over. "Because you love me?" he repeated, soft and bewildered.
I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself as if that could hold me together.
"Because I love you, I can't keep pretending everything is fine when it isn't. I've been confused about things I never expected to be confused about. If I stay with you while I sort it all out, I'll end up hurting you worse than I am right now. I need time to figure out what I want, before I drag you through something unfair."
The words felt clumsy and inadequate, but they got me closer to the truth without naming the shadow that had started following me everywhere—Adrien's quiet presence, the way my pulse quickened when he looked at me too long. I couldn't say his name here, not across from Ethan in this booth that smelled of tomato sauce and teenage memories.
