The reason "satisfying the harem's xingyu" was listed as Yorin's top New Year priority was something Yakushi Nonō explained with complete confidence, leaving Uchiha Yorin staring at her, utterly stunned.
"Of course it's because during New Year you'll be going around visiting other people's homes, so you have to satisfy our man first," she said.
Uchiha Yorin: "Wait, what? How are those two things even related?"
He felt her brain had short-circuited. What was she even saying? The way she put it, it sounded like she was worried the greatest man in the universe would cheat on them—with his closest friends, no less.
After all, New Year's visits only go to your dearest friends and loved ones—like Minato, like Fugaku.
This was slander against his character.
Those people were his dear friends. If he laid a hand on Kushina or Mikoto, how would he be any different from that infamous usurper?
Yorin: "The way you're talking—you can insult my ability, but you may not insult my character!"
Faced with Yorin's pained expression, Nonō didn't look guilty at all. Still smiling, she calmly replied:
"I never said anything about those two. At the very least, I still believe you have that much restraint."
She paused mid-sentence, just when Yorin was about to relax, and then continued:
"I meant the lady from the Inuzuka family."
Uchiha Yorin: "…Wait, no—"
"That widow," she went on, unruffled, "her husband's dead, she's been alone for a while now. That's exactly the age where hormones are out of balance and passions run hot.
"If you go to her house to 'bring warmth'… who knows how things might develop? I'm very worried about that."
Yorin instinctively wanted to protest, but in the end he didn't.
"Widows attract trouble," as the old saying goes. The ancestors might have been onto something.
He was sure his relationship with Inuzuka Tsume was purely professional and squeaky clean. But that wouldn't stop some bored gossip-mongers from spinning pornographic rumors about them.
So yeah… better to stay cautious.
Uchiha Yorin grumbled inwardly, but in the end he sullenly accepted Nonō's "schedule," feeling both wronged and a little annoyed.
To reward him for being so obedient and well-behaved, Nonō let him enjoy "Pope treatment": first doing this, then doing that, gently soothing him and wrapping his heart around her little finger.
…
After that, during the New Year period, Uchiha Yorin spent his days suffering and rejoicing, happily drowning in a chaotic whirlpool.
On the first day of the New Year, the entire village had to celebrate together, of course.
The Yuki clan from Kirigakure brought with them a spectacular snow and ice exhibition, using Ice Release and Konoha's financial power to create an otherworld version of the Harbin Ice Festival.
Looking at the row upon row of dazzling ice sculptures, including a giant full-scale ice Hokage Rock, every Konoha villager sank into awe at the village's power and prosperity. Yorin felt their overall happiness index had just taken a huge leap upward.
…
Uchiha Yorin: "So this is what a Konoha Golden Age looks like, huh."
Aside from the ice festival, this year's Konoha New Year had many innovations—most of them his idea.
Beyond the usual village leaders visiting old folks, orphanages, and retirement homes to wrap dumplings together, the biggest innovation was the TV-broadcast New Year's Gala.
Back in early 21st-century Earth, people were already sick of Spring Festival Galas.
They'd watch while endlessly roasting it, turning the show into a de facto comedy commentary program.
But here in otherworld Konoha—where televisions themselves were still a novelty—talk of a full New Year's Gala was almost shocking.
In Yorin's eyes, all those song-and-dance numbers, the stage plays, the traditional opera, the noh and rakugo—were all garbage. But the simple, unjaded folks of this world had never seen anything like it.
Even an old warhorse like the Third Hokage, who'd seen the world, found himself grinning happily as he watched young girls singing and dancing on the screen.
Seeing that, Yorin deeply regretted that Sarutobi Biwako had died too early. If she were still alive to witness this version of Hiruzen, there'd be some truly prime comedy material.
A shame, really.
Still, from another perspective, all those old guys dropping dead one by one was a great thing for the new generation.
…
The first day of the New Year passed in festive chaos.
By day, everyone took their spouses or lovers to stroll the ice festival. By night, they sat around the TV watching the Gala. And later, they went to bed hugging their wives and slept like logs.
For ordinary Konoha villagers—and even most ordinary shinobi—that life already counted as "happiness."
But for Uchiha Yorin, it wasn't nearly enough.
While other guys spent the day at the festival with their sweethearts, he had to visit welfare homes, orphanages, and care facilities, smiling his way through old folks and feral brats alike.
A single morning of that plus several cranky elders was enough to sour his mood.
Back home that evening, the New Year's Gala held zero appeal for him—but because his girlfriends wanted to watch, he had no choice but to sit with them, watching and roasting…and then being roasted in return.
"You think this isn't entertaining?"
"Yorin, your sense of taste is seriously questionable."
"How could this not be good? This is super fun."
"Let me explain it to you…"
They chattered at him until his head spun. Then somehow, they all slipped smoothly into "party" mode and took turns "educating" him.
(For some reason, Tsunade still wasn't part of that lineup. Probably because she was too embarrassed to join in with the others.)
And so his day came to an end.
Even with a nearly 20-point Stamina stat and a reputation for being invincible, handling several partners in one night was still… challenging.
He fell asleep deeply, cradled in Nonō's gentle arms, retreating into dreams in search of his personal utopia.
If he could, he'd have slept much longer—but unfortunately, that wasn't an option. On the second day of the New Year, Uchiha Yorin had important duties.
During the day, with dark circles under his eyes, he had to march up to the Hokage's office and pull overtime with his bro Minato, handling critical foreign affairs for Konoha.
Because Konoha was now the hegemon of the shinobi world and the other four villages were its junior partners, the smaller villages were tripping over themselves to send New Year's greetings and gifts.
Which meant the Hokage and his assistant had to respond, to show Konoha's magnanimity and reassure allies that they weren't about to stomp them flat.
Yorin: "Does Konoha not have a Foreign Ministry?"
He complained loudly, and got a bitter smile from Minato in return.
Yeah. No, they did not.
Konoha's reforms were ongoing; its government and civil service were slowly becoming more formalized. But they'd only managed to reorganize a few of the core departments so far.
Foreign affairs were part of "phase two," so right now Konoha had no dedicated Foreign Ministry. All diplomacy was either done by special envoys… or by the Hokage personally.
Yorin: "Fine, fine…"
So he spent half a day doing New Year's replies with Minato. After that, when he finally got home, he couldn't rest yet—because the village-wide celebrations were done, and now it was time for the Uchiha clan's internal ancestral rites.
This year's Uchiha New Year rituals were quite different thanks to the new clan head—Uchiha Yorin—and his showman instincts.
Before, the Uchiha New Year was done in secrecy. In the middle of the night the entire clan would slip into the Naka Shrine to hold their rites in the dark.
Anyone who didn't know better would assume they were running some kind of cult or hatching a conspiracy.
Now, with Yorin as clan head, things had to change.
All rites were moved to daylight and opened to the public. Drums, flutes, and whatever "performance art" they wanted—everyone could watch.
Many spectators clicked their tongues in surprise.
"So this is what Uchiha's New Year ceremony looks like…"
The reform made a lot of elders in the clan unhappy. In their eyes, this turned a sacred rite into a giant reality show, polluted by the stink of money—turning Uchiha into a bunch of dancing monkeys.
But Yorin crushed their protests with sheer authority.
The Uchiha may be a clan of love, but they're also a clan of power. When the clan head is a super Kage, his word is law.
The elders respected Yorin the way they once respected Uchiha Madara. If Yorin wanted to bed their wives, they'd probably hand over their daughters too.
So this year's Uchiha gathering became another chance to showcase clan culture, with plenty of spectacle. The more people saw, the less they feared Uchiha's mystique, and the more they developed goodwill and understanding.
…
Of course, even after another exhausting day, when Yorin came home, he still got ambushed by the girls, who "pressed" him hard yet again.
And for reasons unknown, Tsunade still wasn't part of the rotation.
Tsunade: "…Excuse you?"
~~~
Patreon(.)com/Bleam
— This Fanfic is Completed in Patreon!