chapter 1
"How long has it been?" Have you ever asked yourself that? When you're so deep in despair, agony and misery, you just stop trying anymore? And just, wait?
Calmly resigned, while drowning in a river of pain? I looked up at the poisonous crimson sky, viewing the cracks in the skin of space, no stars in sight, and clouds twisting and forming irregular shapes. The ground was nothing but a desolate wasteland. The red sand I laid on were barren, the atmosphere had nothing but dust and dead air.
Blood spilled out my nose, eyes, ears, wounds, and practically every hole in my battered body....No, not including my anus. My black suit shredded and torn, soaked in blood. My face barely recognizable from all the wounds. My head throbbed in excruciating pain, as if a sharp hot knife stabbed through my skull and dug through it.
Hallucinations appeared, murmurs inside my head grew louder and louder, clouds twisted into....Penis shapes. That's probably a hallucination. Probably. I couldn't give a damn. I couldn't give a damn. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.
But seriously, does that pain even matter? Sure, you're in agony. Drowning in a cesspool of despair, and misery. Choking on your own failures...But since when did that ever matter?
The cosmos is huge, billions and billions more have suffered way more than you. And I'm willing to bet, at least a single one of those asked themselves "God, why me?". ....What am I even saying?
???: "William?"
A voice, a familiar one, the voice of a piece of utter garbage. A person I hated. Gosh, when will this one die?
???: "What are you...Doing dude?"
I looked up, and saw her. Fyor. A woman in pristine suit, red eyes, and pale white hair which swayed as the air blew.
William: "Nothing much, just admiring the view?" I replied.
Fyor:"...What kind of mental illness do you have to have to admire a view like that?"
William: "Couldn't agree more."
Fyor: "You're bleeding by the way." She says, kicking up the sand towards me.
William:" Ugh, dude. What was that for?"
Fyor: "Idk man, you pissed me off for some reason."
This woman acted like I was insane, but seems utterly unfazed about everything else.
William: "Uh-huh....So, what do you want?"
Fyor: "Well first of all, get up. You look ridiculous." What a douche.
William: "...Ahah....."
Fyor: "You know you don't have that luxury. Get up Willy boy." She said, stretching her hands out towards me.
William: "Urgh, fine." With a final groan, I grabbed her hand and pulled myself up.
Fyor: "Gross, get away from me." She says, kicking me away and knocking me to the ground like I'm some kind of disgusting creature. Gosh, this woman is repulsive.
William: "Dude.... What the hell was that for?"
Fyor: "You're disgusting that's what it was."
William: "Then what was the point of pulling me up in the first place then you bag of-"
Fyor: "Blah, blah, blah, cry about it."
She says, rolling her eyes, waving me off.
William: "Kill yourself."
You ever got that one obnoxious coworker/student who's just annoying for no reason at all and you just wanna punch? You know, condescending tone, eyes filled with hatred? Who doesn't have any friends? That's probably the best way to describe this douchewad.
Fyor: "Yeah, yeah. Anyways, we-"
The ground beneath our feet exploded, dust particles scattered all over making seeing or breathing ridiculously difficult. In the rubble emerged gigantic tendrils the size of a building.
Fyor: "...This is your fault."
William: "How is this MY fault?"
Fyor: "You should've killed every creature around her, now I gotta get my suit dirty because of you."
The obnoxious bloke said, drawing a pair of pistols from her coat, waving it at me like she's about to shoo-
William: "Woah!"
The obnoxious bloke actually shot me. The bullet barely missing me.
William: "The hell was that?!"
Fyor: "Oh shut up. You're a grown ass man, you could've tanked that."
No?? That would've hurt??
The gigantic tendril launched towards us, Fyor swiftly evaded whilst I barely managed to avoid my head getting blown clean off. I promptly stood up, my feet unsteady with groggy footwork. The tendrils continued to swing towards me, completely ignoring Fyor as it aggressively chased after me.
Fyor: "You're useless!" She yelled out.
William: "You try fighting with severe injuries, woman!"
The tendrils tirelessly targeted me alone, it swung towards me with massive force, kicking the dust up in the air blinding me momentarily. As the tendril came closer, and I, blinded as sand filled my eyes, I instinctively ducked, barely avoiding a fatal blow. Fyor on the other hand, looked absolutely stupid as she laughed out loud, pointing a finger and mocking me. Then, karma hit as the tendrils suddenly turned back and launched towards Fyor instead.
God I hope it hits. But obviously, the world wasn't so fair. Fyor immediately ducked, evading the giant tendrils with swift grace. Opening fire both at the tendrils and at me. And the bullets barely missed too, like one wrong move and it would've hit me, like she meant to kill me or something. The bullets accurately collided with the tendrils' tough skin, but it was futile as it bounced off like sand to a brick wall.
Fyor: "Yeah, we can't take on this one right now! Retreat." In swift motion, she grabs me by my collar, violently throwing me away towards a nearby portal looking thingy. I rolled towards, and right into it, the portal doing what portals do and transporting me to a different location.
William: "Wh-what the f-"
Fyor immediately jumps out the portal right after, her feet landing right on top of my stomach as she gracefully balances herself.
William: "URGH! Get off me!"
I exclaimed, all the air expelling out my lungs as her boots smush my belly.
Fyor: "Yeah, yeah."
She replies, her tone bored and condescending, as she steps off. I glare at her as she walks off, contemplating whether I should throw a book at her right then and there. Speaking of books, I looked up, noticing the room which the portal transported us through was full of books, and a mess of piles and piles of what looked to be unfinished paper work.
Fyor calmly walked off towards the desk placed at the corner of the room, a pc set-up barely perceivable placed on top of it as it was covered in more piles of paperwork. It was a mess I didn't even wanna look at, so I turned my eyes away, refusing to look, my gaze fixed on the portal we came through which slowly began to shrink.
Fyor: "Distracting yourself from the mess isn't gonna magically erase the fact that you still need to do all this, quit laying there and help me out with this already." William: "If you stopped being such a sore for the eyes I might turn around."
Fyor: "Yeah, yeah."
She replied apathetically without bothering to indulge in my shenanigens as her focus drifted to...Whatever it was she was doing over there, I don't know, I don't have eyes at the back of my head. I stood up, brushing off the sand on my suit, looking back at the portal now the size of a fist.
William: "Hey, where's the bucket?"
Fyor: "To your left, on top of the bookshelves."
...What is wrong with this person?
William: "Eww, you put it on top of the bookshelves? You're disgusting."
Fyor: "Shut up."
I walk over to the part of the room she lazily gestured the thing I ask for to be. I looked up over the top of the bookshelf in front of me, and sure enough there it was. I reached for it, grabbing the bucket with both hands and delicately raising it down being absolutely careful not to tip it over. The smell coming from it was putrid, I don't even know why I couldn't tell where it was just from the stench alone. In case you're wondering what's inside, it's a bucket of piss, blood, and vomit. I lowered it down to the level of my chest, and vomitted blood right into it.
William: "So. Am I being summoned for some nonsense again?" asked, walking over towards the nearby window, and throwing away the full bucket out.
Fyor: "Says here there's a breach in containment. Subject 365, the leprechaun."
William: "Oh come on, that obnoxious affront?"
Fyor: "He's currently rampaging facility 56. Says here he's...Currently on the run."
William: "I would literally rather jump off this building right now instead of deal with that retarded recidivist."
Fyor: "Like that'd make a difference." Fyor stood up, grabbing a pile of papers scattered on the floor, and violently shoving it into a nearby coat hanging on the room.
Fyor: "...Uhhh, Will? Hello?"
Shut up. I don't want to listen. Barely living, forgetting to breath. A decadent, endless cycle of failures again and again. Wanting to forget. Desiring to disappear. You corny, moronic mess of a man. A trite, contrived, immature, infantile, complainer.
Fyor: "HEY!!"
Fyor yells out, violently slapping me hard on the cheeks(Face cheeks you dirty minded weirdo), jolting me awake from my daydream. I hurled hurled back from the sheer force of the slap. With barely enough time to process what was even going on, I held onto the nearest object to use as support and avoid falling right off.... A vehicle? Yes, a vehicle. One currently driving—No soaring through the air.....An AIR VEHICLE. Peak narrating right there.
William: "What the-Fyor?...Uhh."
I staggered for a brief moment before quickly assessing the situation. I scanned the area, we were aboard on a small flying saucer like vehicle which seemed to be piloted by Fyor, soaring through the air at massive speed.
Fyor: "The hell are you daydreaming for? Get up." She spoke, her voice louder yet carrying the same bored tone.
William: "My bad, my bad." I said, brushing off the dust on my shoulders.
Fyor: "You haven't spoken these past 15 minutes, like your brain was running on autopilot or something."
William: "I was....In the middle of a slugfest of thoughts."
Fyor: "You're so edgy, you know that?"
William: "I keep like 67% of my corniness bottled up inside my brain. Anyways, what's going on right now?"
Those words seemed to irritate Fyor, as her fist clutched and a vein visible on her forehead.
Fyor: "CHASE. LEPRECHAUN. HIGH VELOCITY. Figure it out!"
William: "ohhh yeah that."
Fyor: "Jackass, did you forget? Help me out here already you demented lunatic!"
William: "Yeah, yeah."
I scanned the flying....Whatever this thing was we were aboard. Calmly assessing the situation, from Fyor's own vague words we're currently on a high speed chase after subject 365....Let's talk about what a subject is later alright champ? Our flying saucer was demolished and barely running, sharp shards of glass scattered all over the floor, half the vehicle was cracked, the lights flickered on and off. Outside, was the same poisonous crimson sky.
Though it was no longer just a barren wasteland, no shot someone lived in this place currently, but huge structures can be seen scattered and crumbling all throughout the area. In front of us, was a flying green goblin the size of a toddler.
Soaring through collapsing buildings in great speed, accelerating every time we got close. The green glowing goblin crashed through buildings, whirling through the wind and spinning around to face us while still soaring through the air with his back turned from his traveling direction. It shoved it's fingers up it's nose, and violently flicked it's boogers at us. The boogers traveled in mass velocity, piercing through our saucers walls like a pseudo bullet except way faster and way grosser. Both Fyor and me managed to evade, barely.
William: "EWWW!"
Fyor: "I'm killing that thing."
The repulsive retard swerved through the air, swiftly weaving through the ruins and looking back to taunt at the same time. Fyor's face, though barely bearing any emotions, her eyes gleamed and seemed extremely determined to catching the creature. Her ego can't let someone just throw a booger at her and get away with it. I can only imagine what the green manic will go through after she gets her hands on him. But really though, this thing is an affront. Even more annoying than Fyor herself. I strongly believe Fyor is frothing at the mouth levels of pissed. I just don't have proo-
Fyor: "William, hand me the gun. Don't you dare shoot it yourself, this ones mine."
Oh—yep, there's my proof.
William: "What gun are you talking about? Where?"
Fyor: "It's in your coat you moron!!"
She exclaims, briefly breaking her poker face of calm for an instant. Also, what gu-Ohhh wait, A blaster is in my coat.
William: "How'd that get there?"
Fyor: "You literally put it there when we were at BASE packing our stuff! Are you demented?"
William: "Geez, sorry. I blanked out when we were at the house, my brain ran on autopilot."
Truthfully what happened. Last thing I remember was asking Fyor where the portal gun was.
Fyor: "HAND OVER THE GUN ALREADY YOU PIECE OF DOGSHI-"
William: "Ok, ok, geez man chill." I compliantly toss the gun in the air to Fyor, she catches, her eyes gleaming even more and now her lips curving into a smile, grinning from ear to ear.
She aims
Fyor: "Eat this."
And fires.
The blast of energy piercing through the air, tearing right through the goblin's chest.
Fyor: "HAHAHAHA!"
Fyor cheers in delight, her face practically euphoric in the moment.The Leprechaun man falls right off the sky, landing face first into the mud below.
Goblin guy: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
The leprechaun-goblin-thingy screams in pain, bleeding out as he clasps his hands over the wound desperately trying to stop bleeding.Fyor practically yells in euphoria.
Fyor: "High five bro." She extends her hands for— you guessed it—A high five. I awkwardly accept.
William: "You're way too sadistic, man."
Fyor: "That thing shot a BOOGER at me. I'm gonna enjoy every moment of this." She says, grinning ear to ear as she pilots our flying saucer to land right in front of the goblin man.
Goblin guy: "Noooooo!!!" Goblin guy yelled in fear as Fyor gracefully lands on the ground, she slowly approaches, phone in hand, and blaster in the other.
Fyor: "Look at you. Pathetic." She says, taking a photo of the crying goblin in front of us.
William: "So uhh what now? We just bring him back to base?"
Fyor: "No, no. Not yet. William, piss on him." What did this woman just say?William: "WHAT. Why??"
Fyor: "What? You want ME to piss on him? He's just gonna enjoy that."William: "Well why does ANYONE have to piss on ANYONE??"
Fyor: "Come on, its the ultimate humiliation. Plus if you piss on his wounds it'll get infected and turn way more painful.
William: "You know what Fyor, jus-"
Goblin guy: "AHHHHH!!!"
William: "...Just shut-"
Goblin guy: "AHHHHHHH!!"
William: ".....Shut u-""
Goblin guy: "Ah-"
I pressed my foot over the leprechaun's wound, stepping and stamping over him as he screams in pain and the mud from my boots gets into the open wound.
William: "Interrupt me while I'm talking to someone again, and I will cut your penis off."Goblin guy writhed in pain, but gnashed his teeth to avoid screaming out.
Fyor: "Anyways. Why did you blank out back there? Right after you asked me where the portal gun was, you just blanked out and turned silent"
William: "I...Don't really know myself. I...Think I was...Drowning in my own thoughts you know? Like I was...Drowning in an endless ocean of thoughts, like getting sucked into a vortex of despair, desperately trying to swim back up."Thing is I didn't want to swim back up. I just had to.
Fyor: "In english please? Gosh, I can't with you sometimes, you're so edgy."
William: "...Ok, case and point I was tired, I didn't want to think. I didn't have coffee alright? I think I just switched to autopilot and daydreamed."
Fyor: "...Yeah, anyways just don't do that again."
William: "On it."
Fyor looked....Weirded out to say the least. Simultaneously furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, and firing a disdainful glare. Who is this dirtbag to judge me anyway?
Fyor: "So yeah, what do we do with this pile of green flesh?" Fyor said, gesturing at the goblin. The goblin shrieked in fear. He'd been straining himself to stay silent these past minutes, probably just hoped to be ignored.
Goblin guy: "...You....Apathetic, irredeemable, incorrigibly evil lunatics!"
William: "...."
Fyor: "...Pfft, hahaha. Huh? What?"
Fyor turns to look towards me, Brave one this guy, brave or stupid.
Fyor: "What did you just say?"
She pressed on, her voice filled with contempt and mockery as she picked the little goblin off the ground like a little eensy-weensy little toy. Dangling in her hands as she shook the goblin guy aggressively.
The goblin looked petrified, it's legs violently swinging across the air as Fyor gripped the top of it's head tighter and tighter. Fyor gaze came over the creature with a condescending sneer, her eyes glowing the color of bright crimson red. Sometimes I wonder whether this person is a vampire.
Goblin guy: "...Urgh....You know it's the same with you. All of you are the same, like hollow dolls moving because a higher-ups told you to." Fyor: "..."
William: "What're you talking about?"
Goblin guy: "You know what I'm talking about, Lidenberge or whatever you call yourself." Goblin guy scoffed like a mighty tsundere.
William: "Heh....Yeah, that was my name ohh thank you, how kind of you to remember. Was being sarcastic there—But yeah, William Lidenberge is my name."
Goblin guy: "'Was'? what are you talking about?"
William: "Yeah, don't worry about it. I prefer calling myself 'Nobody' now you know?"
Goblin guy: "Hah! That's...Fitting considering you and your depravity."
William: "Depraved? That supposed to mean anything at all? That word really doesn't hold any....Let's just say weight, at all coming from you or anybody in this self-eating world for that matter.
Goblin guy: "You're dead. That's what I'm trying to say. You know what you are? A soulless puppet for the ACE."
The ACE...Like the cosmic IRS, except everyone's committing tax evasion. The I guess you could say, "Government" I unfortunately work for. Though goblin guy wasn't even a third of my size, was tied up, held at gunpoint, and bleeding out, he presented himself like a champ. Condescendingly talking back to me, scoffing at the end of nearly every sentence. Well he's a pretentious champ, but hey let him act the way he wants.
William: "...The ACE. Why bring them up now?" I asked.
A rhetorical question with an obvious answer. Though the dense green-skin didn't seem to quite get it as he pressed on.
Goblin guy: "What do YOU mean why? It's obvious. Why WOULDN'T I bring them up? THEY are the cause of EVERYTHIN-"
William: "Woah, easy there. Don't wanna irritate Fyor over there and have her shoot you again just to shut you up right? Trust me, she'll do that."
I gestured to Fyor who had been piloting our vehicle the entire time, her eyes glued to her job. Though she had been unusually quiet this entire time, odd because this sarcastic AI almost never shuts up. Goblin guy visibly shook from my words, reminded of just how sadistic that woman is.
Goblin guy: "...Lidenberge, have you ever thought of where you're going? These...chains those higher beings—the council—binds us in like our lives are irrational anomalies which doesn't deserve to exist? Like-"
Before he could even finish his sentence, the goblin's mouth abruptly exploded into bits and pieces from a blast of energy which directed from behind my back. His blood and flesh smearing across the ships walls. I turned to look at the source the attack came from, my eyes were met with Fyor, nonchalantly holding a second blaster I thought I'd taken from her, pointing right at the goblin.
Goblin guy: "AHUGURHGUHRUGH!!!!" Goblin guy let out a guttural howl.
William: "...Dude, that was brutal."
Fyor: " Shut up, he was getting annoying. Anyways, we're back to the facility."
William: " Oh, really?"
I said, goblin still howling from pain, unable to form coherent words as his mouth had been blown off. Though annoying, I ignored it for the meantime.
Looking out the glass window, or rather what's left of it, and outside was a massive iron structure so massive it reached all the way up the crimson sky, piercing right through the clouds.