Wilson was not able to stop Chris from running his mouth. This led him to be in the student council room, alone with Alexus, who was working on his paperwork. Wilson was sitting on a sofa, doing nothing and too conscious of everything surrounding him.
The council room was still the same as he remembered it: spacious, organized with various folders and paperwork, with exquisite tableware at the side with fresh snacks, and cabinets filled with things from the previous officers left as a legacy for the next ones. Each thing showcased the achievement of their generation and their mark on the academy's 150 years of establishment.
"Don't be too nervous," Alexus said as he looked up from his paperwork. "This is not the first time you've been here. Back then your reaction was more casual and could be called daring."
Wilson blushed at the mention of the first time he has come here. He was invited to be part of the council due to his excellence and the strategic political stance his family had among the nobility. One could say that those in the council were the elite and exceptional among their circle.
"Why blush?" Alexus smirked at Wilson's reaction. "Embarrassed of rejecting the First Prince's invitation back then?"
"Well, I was quite rude about it," Wilson easily admitted. "He was nothing but a gentleman back then, but I just had to be too direct and refused the opportunity to be part of the council."
"It was not as rude as you make it to be," Alexus rebutted. "You handled it perfectly given your position back then. The invitation was more than just being a part of the council, after all."
"...Still, I should have used more tact." Wilson looked outside the window. "It was fortunate he was forgiving and understanding back then. If it was the Second Prince, he might have caused my life to be miserable in the academy."
"Prince George is indeed the most generous among the princes." Alexus agreed with his point. Putting his pen aside, the man placed his papers at the side. Standing up from his desk, he went and took a counter, preparing tea for them.
"Prince Darell is more conventional than the First Prince."
"How about Prince Alphonsus?" Wilson asked from where he was. He wanted to hear what Alexus thought of the Third Prince to know if he could plan accordingly as to whether he can risk dragging him into his schemes.
Alexus paused hearing the question. It took a beat before he resumed preparing the tea. He retrieved two cups for the two of them and a couple of snacks.
"Why do you ask?"
"...just curious."
With the tea almost ready, Alexus carefully set the tea set and the snacks on a tray and walked to the table where Wilson was seated. Setting the tray down, he placed a cup in front of Wilson and another at the opposite seat, then poured the brewed tea into it. After he was done, he sat on the opposite seat and looked at Wilson, who was observing his every move.
"You never cared for my opinion before." Alexus met Wilson's eyes directly. "You prefer to move forward with what you believe in, dragging me along when you think it will not trouble me."
Wilson could only chuckle awkwardly at his usual way of getting along with Alexus. In a sense, he rarely minded others' opinions when he was younger. He has his hubris, pride, and vanity in his head growing up, especially when people started to praise him for his brilliance. Not knowing that most of the time ego could be a reason of one's fall.
Not wanting to speak about his previous actions, Wilson picked up the tea and made a small sip of it. He let the silence surround them. If there is one thing that Chris was right about, Alexus cannot bear to not give him what he wanted. He might delay giving it, but he does deliver.
The man sighs for a moment and picked up his own cup. He didn't say anything directly. However, his eyes were looking at his own reflection in the reddish beverage on his hand.
"... Prince Alphonsus is an ambitious man," Alexus finally spoke. "The type I personally don't want you to be acquainted with."
Wilson observed any reaction that may tell him more of what the other was thinking. And he noticed the way the other refused to meet his eyes again. His hand was actually full of tension as he seemed to tighten his grip on the cup's holder.
"You never like to say more than necessary, as always," Wilson said as he put down the tea. His whole body relaxed and assumed a proper posture that he had forced himself to practice over and over to his body for years.
"If you had spoken more, I could have made a consideration before acquainting with the prince."
"Back then you were less likely to believe me." Alexus also placed his cup down after taking a sip. The fine china made a clicking sound as it landed softly at the saucer.
"You're not exactly wrong about that," Wilson admitted. "But if you gave me a sound case, I could potentially consider your input. You're my... friend. For as long as we have known each other, I'll definitely put your words at the back of my mind."
"I can be persuasive with others, but never to you."
"And why is that?"
"I think you already have an idea. Just like how you are now keeping a distance with Prince Alphonsus."
Wilson could only take a sharp breath at the indirect confession. Maybe in this life, this is the closest he can get from the man to parade his feelings. Like he said, Alexus is an eloquent man. He can talk to a person until they no longer have any more words to tell. He is careful to craft his words with no one else other than him.
"Since when?" Wilson confronted.
"We were seven," Alexus said, eyes looking straight at him. "There is no brighter child than you are. Mother spoke about you so much that I was curious. And you didn't disappoint. Even when I deliberately made things difficult with you, you've been bright and friendly to me."
"How can I be too blind not to notice that?" Wilson was felt with remorse hearing the admission. "Also, why never voice it out?"
"I don't want to lose you." Alexus was never shy in saying what he meant. He may cower facing Wilson, but he was more than prepared for a confrontation if it comes to it. Wilson is always stubborn and at times oblivious in his mind, so he does not mind taking his time with him.
"Besides, you always see me as your childhood friend. A companion whom you swore a lasting relationship with. One confession from me might shatter all we had. I can't risk that."
"But it also means you'll never get what you wanted," Wilson spoke out. The memory of his last moments echoes in his mind. His restrain made him lose a chance that could make things in his favor.
"If there is one thing my father had taught me growing up, it's that you can't always have nice things in life. Having me as someone you can trust is already reassuring; being greedy for more is not worth the fallout," Alexus reasoned out.
Eyes steady, Alexus looked at the man before him who looked like he was grieving. It broke his heart to see him like that. He noticed Wilson being out of sorts during the morning, which was why he allowed Chris's flimsy plan of detaining Wilson after his exams to escape the Third Prince's gathering.
He watched as Wilson closed his eyes, putting a hand over them. A tear flowed down delicately over his cheeks. His mouth opened and closed as if he was not sure what to do.
Alexus wanted to wipe the tear away. But he felt it was far too intimate for Wilson. He didn't want to cross the boundary of their relationship for small gains. He can risk so many things, but never Wilson.
"... you're a fool," Wilson quietly says. He still kept his eyes closed, hand over them as he slumped back to the sofa he was sitting on. "An idiot for keeping too much on yourself."
"I never admit I wasn't," Alexus replied. "Still, if you need me, I'll do my best to satisfy you."
"Even at the cost of everything you have?"
"If that's what you want. I'll deliver." Alexus didn't stutter, his words firm and confident.
Wilson took in his words deep in his heart. He was indecisive in involving Alexus with his plans. But knowing that the man was really willing to be used as a tool to be beside him, that changes so many things. He cannot leave him out now. Doing so is not respecting him and may endanger him in his attempt to keep him safe once he notices danger is closing in.
"Everything might be overwhelming to you, Wilson, but take your time digesting it," Alexus said as he stood up and sat next to Wilson. He still kept a distance even with their close proximity. A hand next to Wilson's side, close enough to touch, but far enough to remain polite.
"I didn't plan to lay out everything today or even in a foreseeable future to keep things as it is, but we suddenly breached it today."
"...it's me who initiated," Wilson said, hyper-aware of Alexus's presence. His ears caught every sound he made. "Give me a minute or two, I'll try to clear up my mind."
"You can take your time," Alexus said. "Take as long as you need. We can cancel the council later this afternoon if you need it."
"...there is no need for that." Wilson appreciates the consideration, but he is not the type to allow things to become stagnant for long. Deciding that the best protection is actually being offensive, he'll have Alexus a part of all plans he has.
As for the feelings between them, time can tell of where they will be. He values Alexus for being someone who has always been with him. He has complex feelings towards him due to the knowledge of his affections, but that didn't change the fact that he is important to him. And he does not want to lose him due to his schemes and possibly suicidal actions to get things done.
Reaching out to the hand next to him, Wilson took Alexus's hand. Something that surprised the other. The last they held hands was when they were eight, and afterwards only symbolic handshakes occurred between them in a formal setting. Involuntarily, Alexus can't help looking at Wilson to confirm he is not dreaming.
"I know it is too much for the both of us at this moment. But let's see where we stand with time," Wilson said as he opened his eyes. He looked at the bewilderment of the other. "For now, I think it's best we take things slow and deal with immediate things on the horizon."
Alexus, turned his hand to enclose Wilson's hand with his. He tightened his hold on him, slowly putting force on it as if testing how much Wilson will allow. Wilson allowed him, and it delighted him so much that he gave a smile to the other in his joy.
He wanted to pull the hand on his over his lips to give it a backhanded kiss. He wanted to hold it with both of his hands to never let go. He wanted to confirm again and again, Wilson is considering him after so long.
But that would be too much. He'll restrain from doing more now. Take small steps, slow steps as Wilson said. They'll have time to navigate their relationship, and right now is really not the best time.
There are too many eyes and ears in the academy. Alexus does not want anything to sabotage his years of longing over some politics. Only after the threats are gone, will they see where they will be taken to.