To be fair, Shirō Emiya's all-nighter wasn't a total waste, he did gain something from it. His incantation speed had improved dramatically. By the end of it, he was practically rapping the chant. Just compare the early recitations, at least they had punctuation. Later ones? Not a comma in sight...
And so, this farcical, awkward mess finally came to a close.
What Shirō didn't know, however, was that this completely random and "innocent" incident would go on to upend the trajectory of his life in ways he could never imagine.
The Next Day , An Unexpected Meeting
The 1st Division abruptly summoned all the captains to a meeting.
"Ugh... I just fell asleep..."
"But today isn't a scheduled meeting day...?"
"Wait, did something serious happen?"
"Tch! All that damn kid's fault. Where does he get that kind of energy?!"
The captains all showed up with dark circles under their eyes. They exchanged glances, equal parts amusement, fatigue, and irritation.
But let's be clear: they weren't mad at themselves.
They were mad at each other.
"If just one of you had responded to that brat last night, none of us would've suffered like this!"
Still, a few of them had somehow managed to come through unscathed.
Like Retsu Unohana:
"It seems many of you had trouble sleeping last night. If you're suffering from insomnia, the 4th Division can provide some special medication~."
"N-no, no, not necessary."
"We've just... been working late."
"Right. Overtime. No sleep. Very busy."
"Nothing wrong with our bodies at all!"
They all waved her off quickly. No one wanted to risk taking Unohana's "special" medicine. That stuff wouldn't cure insomnia, it would knock you out for months.
"Ahem, I must've blacked out yesterday... guess I was spared," added Jūshirō Ukitake, chuckling.
The other captains weren't sure whether to envy him or pity him. Sometimes, being the sickly one had its perks.
Meanwhile, Shunsui Kyōraku, trying to stay under the radar with his hat pulled low, mumbled:
"This was Lisa-chan's doing..."
Turns out those weren't insomnia bags under his eyes, they were full-on panda bruises. Lisa had decked him for being too loud.
"Looks like someone's still missing."
"That'd be Zaraki."
"Leave him. He's always like this."
"Fair point."
Moments later, the old man himself, Head Captain Yamamoto, entered the hall. The room went silent.
Thud.
He struck the ground once with his staff and scanned the room. He didn't mention Zaraki's absence, just got straight to the point.
"I've summoned you here today to discuss this year's graduating class from the Shinō Academy, and their assignments to the Gotei 13."
"Huh??"
The room was filled with question marks.
This warranted an emergency captain-level meeting?
There had to be more to it.
"This year's graduates include several promising candidates," Yamamoto continued.
"To prevent competition and maintain harmony between squads, I believe it's best we sort things out now."
The captains narrowed their eyes.
"Wait... is the Old Man trying to snatch someone for his own division?"
But they'd heard no rumors of any recent prodigy. Kaien Shiba had already joined the 13th Division a while ago.
And then it clicked.
The meeting wasn't about recruiting.
It was about offloading someone.
"First, let's address the future of one particularly 'exceptional' graduate, Shirō Emiya."
As soon as the name dropped, every captain understood. Their expressions twisted into varying degrees of dread.
But hey, credit where it's due.
Shirō had managed something unprecedented:
He was the first student in history to have an emergency captain-level meeting convened just to determine where to dump him after graduation.
Yamamoto continued:
"Let me state my view plainly. While Shirō Emiya is talented, and his father is currently Captain of the Couriers...
I believe he is not suitable for the Couriers."
Before the echo of his staff tapping the floor faded, the captains chimed in:
"Agreed."
"Seconded."
"Thirded."
"Excellent. Majority consensus has been reached.
Now, where shall Shirō Emiya be assigned instead?"
That's when the room exploded in excuses.
"Much as I personally like him," said Kyōraku, glancing sideways,
"I don't think he'd really fit in with my squad's... atmosphere."
"He's got potential, no doubt," added Ukitake, thinking of Kaien.
"But... not quite a match for the 13th, I'm afraid. Cough."
"Yes, well," said Byakuya Kuchiki, adjusting his scarf,
"Though Emiya comes from a noble house... the 6th doesn't have any openings at the moment."
A thinly veiled excuse, of course.
2nd Division? Instantly ruled out.
4th Division? Only if Shirō could actually heal, which he couldn't.
"Our squad's culture doesn't suit him."
"He's... a bit too much for us to handle."
"I cast a fortune earlier, his fate clashes with our squad!"
"Honestly, I just don't think it's a good fit..."
And so, the buck-passing began. Some pushed back. Some stayed silent.
But no one, no one, volunteered.
THUD!
Yamamoto struck his staff again.
"Enough! This is disgraceful."
Silence returned.
"I propose we assign Shirō Emiya... to the 11th Division for training and development."
Eyes lit up.
Genius.
Zaraki Kenpachi wasn't even here. He couldn't object.
The old man had found the perfect solution: pass the headache to the one guy too lazy to show up.
And if Zaraki kept skipping meetings? Well, this was the "consequence."
"Seconded."
"Agreed!"
"Fully support!"
"Then it's settled," Yamamoto concluded.
"Shirō Emiya will be assigned to the 11th Division upon graduation."
"Now, moving on to the next graduate, Soi Fon…"
But at that point, no one cared. The real agenda had been completed.
That decision came as a huge relief to many of the captains.
Because if Shirō had been allowed to stay in the Couriers and eventually inherited the division…
Just the thought of his "post-chant broadcasts" gave them PTSD.
They couldn't even hear his voice now without flinching. The man had mentally scarred the captains of the Gotei 13.
Meanwhile, back in bed,
"Ahh-choo!
Which cute girl out there's thinking about me?"
Shirō muttered, pulling the blanket over his head and drifting deeper into sleep.
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150 P.S = 1 Extra Chapter