The ancient Merit cell, buried beneath layers of dead red desert sands, was quiet. Not comfortably quiet—no, it was the silence of millennia, the kind where only the lazy wind sneaks through cracks in shattered granite.
"Are you sure about this, dear reader?" murmured Malik ibn Skhrya, wiping sweat from his brow. He stood before a colossal stone gate, feet sinking ankle-deep into cold sand. His leather armor was of middling quality, and his sword strap hung absurdly.
"I mean, they told me the utterly silent cells are the deadliest. Why not go to the screaming ghoul cell? At least there we kill something and come back with some gold." Malik lifted his eyes, looking straight past the page, as if he could see the reader. "Oh God, no one's answering me. Well, guess I have to obey the narrative will. For the sake of adrenaline!"
He pushed the gate with an effort unworthy of a knight—a spectacular failure at first. A narrow tunnel opened before him, exuding a strange aroma, a mix of old jasmine and the dust of eternal death. Malik drew his dull sword and stepped inside.
Cell 27 was unlike anything he had ever seen. No leaping monsters, no traditional traps. Just long corridors, walls etched with hieroglyphs that gleamed faintly, and an atmosphere so heavy it stole his breath (a hint of Nefert-Ai's incoming power).
"Behold, dear reader, this is the majestic silence I spoke of. Silence that fries your brain. If I were strong like that dragon or that suited entity, I'd obliterate the place instantly. But I am Malik—a mere beautiful bug. So, I must think."
Malik sat on the cold stone floor, pulling out a piece of stale bread from his bag. "Hunger strategy seems best right now."
As he chewed, his eyes caught a wide chamber at the corridor's end. At its heart, beneath a collapsed dome revealing distant stars, lay a massive obsidian coffin. Threads of motionless aura drifted above it, making the hairs on Malik's arms stand on end.
"Nice. Coffin. Surely it contains a mighty monster or a piece of gold worth years of labor."
Curiosity—and a hint of perversion—drove him forward. When Malik touched the coffin, a sharp electric jolt surged, then a faint voice whispered inside… not a scream of evil, but a cold, regal murmur of a woman:
"I have waited thousands of years… for a brave… majestic knight… bearing glory…"
Malik grinned, pulling out a tiny sharp metal piece he used for opening cans, and pressed it against the coffin's old seal.
"Forgive me, immortal lady. I am not majestic. I am perverse, and I will open your coffin with a can opener because I am the icon of my story. Hopefully, you're amusing and… attractive enough."
With a final dirty push, the coffin opened. A soft celestial light filled the room. Instead of a monster, there lay a woman, wrapped in classic linens, hair cascading like dark silk, sharp royal features, yet a surprisingly strong and taut body. She was Nefert-Ai.
Her eyes opened—muted gold. She looked at Malik, then his tattered clothes, the stale bread in his hand, the can opener in the other, and finally at his foolish, smirking face.
In a deep, cold voice, as if speaking from a four-thousand-year-old grave:
"Who… are you… insect?"
Malik looked at her calmly, striking a very romantic knight pose.
"I am Malik. And now, my beautiful lady, you owe me an embrace. I have awakened you from your long slumber. Now, let's go. The world needs a little intimate comedy."
Silence in Cell 27 had shifted to deadly quiet. Nefert-Ai was not joking. Her declaration was not a question—it was a proclamation of majesty, a complete refusal of Malik's existence.
Her golden eyes glowed with rejection. She had awoken to find a human bug, a mocking insect, opening her royal coffin with a rusty can opener. Millennia of majestic slumber had been humiliated.
Nefert-Ai: "You… pathetic creature. What force, what aura allowed you to breach my tomb's silence? All I smell from you is cheap mockery and stale bread."
Rising slowly from the coffin, she wore nothing but ancient linen wraps, yet her powerful, full figure radiated muscular authority. The static aura pressed on Malik's lungs, freezing his limbs.
Malik ibn Skhrya: (sighing deeply, speaking to the reader with sardonic calm) "Look at her, dear readers. Isn't she a masterpiece? Every word she says is insult, but every curve of her body screams for attention. I must ignore her insults and focus on what truly matters… the romance plot."
Turning back to Nefert-Ai, ignoring her oppressive aura, he boldly advanced:
"Listen, noble mummy, I am not insignificant. I am essential! Don't you see? You've awakened in a world ruled by strategic stupidity, and I am its master. Secondly, you've lost all fitness in slumber. How about an intimate hug to get circulation going and refresh your aura?"
Nefert-Ai raised her hand slowly, pointing a finger at Malik. The static aura condensed into an invisible icy blade.
Nefert-Ai: "Dare you step closer, human filth? I will make you part of this wall and return to my slumber until a true knight comes."
Malik: "A true knight? There is none! All are mere puppets driven by rules. I alone see the mocking truth behind the veil. Besides, I cannot leave you here. You're beautiful, which is a higher motivation than saving the world itself."
At that moment, something broke the scene's calm—not an external force, but a collapse within Nefert-Ai herself. Millennia of slumber had been a mask. Her body, though powerful, desperately needed energy. She lost focus, her aura sword vanished, and she collapsed weakly.
A single tear escaped her golden eyes—not of pain, but existential humiliation at a queen bowing to a bug.
Malik: (pausing his sarcasm, voice unexpectedly solemn) "You are weak. Silence consumes you. Your strength needs an unusual energy source. Fear not, I am not evil. I am perverse, that's all. I will help."
A fusion of auras, an unconventional bond formed.
Malik approached quietly. He drew his sword—not to fight, but to secure the handle to his belt, then removed his worn leather armor. Sitting beside her on the cold floor, he said:
Malik: "You need balance. Your aura, 'Absolute Silence,' needs my 'Mocking Chaos' to stabilize temporarily. Trust me."
He slowly placed his hand on her, rough, travel-dust-covered, smelling of sweat and stale bread. Nefert-Ai, on the verge of unconsciousness, had no choice. She felt life seeping in.
He lifted her to rest on his chest. The ancient Egyptian queen settled into the embrace of a wandering, perverse knight.
Warmth flowed from Malik into her body—warm, comforting, casual, yet delivering an energy shock she had never felt. His aura was not strong, but enough to shatter her millennia of stagnation.
Nefert-Ai: (barely audible, eyes closed) "This… desecration… your body… vile… yet… warm…"
Malik: (smiling, returning to his usual tone wrapped in unconventional tenderness) "No problem, my Pharaonic flower. Sit in my arms. See? I keep my promise of unconventional romance. Don't be shy—my body may be vile, but it has endured long nights, and this warmth reminds you that you are not just a force, but a woman."
Minutes passed in silence—not the silence of the cell, but the silence of an embrace.
Malik lifted his head, looking at the reader again:
"Isn't this beautiful, dear reader? Immortal heroine, mocking knight, strategic hug. Any other story and a bloody fight would erupt here, but we broke expectations. Now, I'm hungry, and she's comfortable. Time to leave."
He leaned to observe Nefert-Ai, who had regained a faint flush on her pale skin. She slept like a child on his chest.
Malik: (whispering to himself) "No one sleeps on my lap this easily. Well, sleeping in a perverse knight's arms seems to be the only therapy for queens of the ancient world. Now, how to get her to the surface? She's a queen; must carry her with dignity—or… shatter all dignity."
Beginning the Chaos Journey
After a moment's thought, Malik executed the smartest move possible: wrapping her in his worn leather cloak, tying her to his back with his sword belt—like an extremely uncomfortable backpack.
Malik: (in a desperate whisper to the reader) "I am now carrying the mummy queen. She weighs a ton! Any respectable knight would assassinate me instead of helping. No, no, dear reader. I must act with dignity. I'll break the fourth wall again, and I ask you: You're fabulous, Malik!"
He climbed the narrow tunnel toward faint light, Nefert-Ai sleeping soundly on his back.
Malik: "Please, queen, don't wake up now demanding tea. We're heading to the empire of bloody battles and terrifying entities. We'll face the old disguised Yasu. But first, a proper meal and a moonlit stroll. Must prep for the next fight—and the shared sleep promised by the narrative."
Malik reached the stone gate, pushed it with his foot into the cold sands, and lifted his face toward the star-filled sky.
Malik: "Well, dear reader, your favorite bug has just emerged from an ancient Egyptian cell, carrying on his back the greatest silent force in the world. Now… where to? The nearest grilled meat restaurant, then the arc of existential entities… I feel we'll need a few thousand calories to tear dimensions apart."