Adrian's POV
I couldn't move.
Kieran stared at me like he could see straight through my head into all my secrets. Into all the times I'd failed him. Into all the deaths I'd watched.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied again, my voice shaking.
But Kieran didn't let go. His fingers wrapped around my wrist, not painful but firm. Impossible to break without making a scene.
"Your eyes," Kieran said quietly. Too quietly. "They're too old for someone our age."
My heart hammered against my ribs. No, no, no. He wasn't supposed to notice. Wasn't supposed to figure it out this fast.
"You looked at Cassian like you already know what he'll do," Kieran continued. "You knew my name before anyone introduced us. And you warned me about things that haven't happened yet."
"Let me go." I tried to pull away, but his grip tightened.
"How many times?" Kieran asked. "How many times have you been reborn?"
The question hit me like a punch to the stomach. I opened my mouth. Closed it. No words came out.
Because how could I tell him? How could I say I'd watched him die four times? How could I explain that every time I tried to save him, he ended up sacrificing himself anyway?
"Adrian." Kieran's voice relaxed. "Please. If we both remember, we can work together. We can change things. Save everyone."
That's exactly what he'd said in the third scenario. Right before everything went wrong. Right before he died trying to protect me from Cassian's sword.
"No," I whispered. "We can't."
"Why not?"
Because you're too good. Because you'll give yourself. Because I can't watch you die again.
"Just trust me," I begged. "Stay away from Cassian. Stay safe. That's all I'm asking."
Kieran's gray eyes searched my face. I could see him thinking, counting, putting pieces together. He was always too smart for his own good.
"You've tried this before," he said slowly. "Working with me. It failed, didn't it? That's why you're scared."
My throat closed up. I couldn't answer.
"How many times have I died, Adrian?"
The question crushed me. Tears burned in my eyes, but I blinked them back. I couldn't cry. Not here. Not in front of all these kids.
"It doesn't matter," I managed to say.
"It matters to me!"
"Well, it shouldn't!" The words came out sharper than I meant. "You dying matters! You staying living matters! Nothing else!"
Kieran flinched like I'd slapped him.
I took advantage of his shock to yank my wrist free. My hand felt cold where his fingers had been.
"I need to go," I said, already backing away.
"Adrian, wait—"
But I was done waiting. Done talking. Done watching him figure out things he shouldn't know.
I turned and ran.
My steps carried me through the Academy grounds without thinking. Past the library. Past the training fields. All the way to the back gardens where fewer students roamed.
I fell behind a stone bench, pressing my back against the cold marble. My whole body shook.
He knew. Kieran knew I'd been reborn. And now everything would go wrong again, just like it always did.
In the first timeline, I'd told him the truth instantly. We'd worked together, made plans, tried to reveal Cassian. But Kieran got wild. Confronted Cassian too early. Ended up dead within months.
In the second timeline, I never told him. Stayed away completely. Watched from a distance. But he found the conspiracy anyway and died without me there to help.
In the third timeline, I tried to meet Cassian instead. Thought maybe I could destroy him from the inside. But Cassian caught me, and he killed Kieran right in front of me as punishment.
In the fourth timeline, I warned Kieran about particular events. Tried to keep him safe without showing I remembered everything. But he was too smart. Figured out I knew too much. Started asking questions. Started exploring. And when he found I'd been reborn, he became obsessed with saving me instead of himself.
That timeline ended with Kieran throwing himself in front of Cassian's sword meant for me.
I'd woken up shouting his name.
And now, in this fifth try, he'd figured it out again. Even faster this time.
I pulled my knees to my chest, trying to think. Trying to plan. But my mind kept showing me Kieran's face—the hope in his eyes when he said we could work together.
He didn't understand. Working together meant he'd try to protect me. And Kieran protecting people always ended the same way.
With him dead and me living to regret it.
"I won't let it happen again," I whispered to the empty yard. "I don't care what I have to do. You're staying alive this time."
Even if it meant lying to him. Even if it meant pushing him away. Even if it meant he'd hate me.
At least he'd be alive to hate me.
I stood up, wiping my face. My hands were steadier now. I had a plan forming—not a good plan, but a plan.
I'd avoid Kieran. Stay far away from him. Let him think I was crazy or lying. Maybe without me around, without the complication of our relationship, he'd be better.
The thought of never speaking to him again made my chest ache. But better that than watching him die a fifth time.
I started walking back toward the main building. Students were going to their dormitory assignments. I'd fit in. Disappear. Start over.
Then I heard the scream.
It came from the administrative building—high and frightened. Several kids ran past me, shouting.
"Someone call the healers!"
"There's blood everywhere!"
My feet moved before my brain could catch up. I ran toward the building, pushing through the crowd gathering at the door.
A girl stumbled out, her healer's outfit covered in red. Her face was sheet-white.
"What happened?" someone asked.
"In the High Priestess's office," the girl gasped. "There was a student—so much blood—I don't know if he's—"
My heart stopped.
No.
No, no, no.
I shoved through the crowd, ignoring people yelling at me. Took the stairs three at a time. My lungs burned. My legs screamed. But I didn't stop.
The High Priestess's office door hung open.
Inside, Kieran lay on the floor in a pool of blood.
His gray eyes stared at the ceiling, unfocused. His chest barely moved. Shadow magic flickered weakly around his hands like dying coals.
High Priestess Lyanna stood over him, her white clothes somehow still spotless despite the carnage. She smiled when she saw me.
"Ah, Adrian Vale," she said happily. "Right on time. Again."
My knees hit the floor beside Kieran. My hands pressed against the cut in his chest—so much blood, too much blood.
"Kieran," I choked out. "Stay with me. Please stay with me."
His eyes finally focused on my face. He tried to smile.
"Sorry," he whispered. "She... knew. About the return. She always... knew..."
"Shh, don't talk. Save your strength."
But even as I said it, I could feel his life slipping away between my fingers. Could feel the horrible, familiar feeling of watching him die again.
"Fifth time," Lyanna said conversationally. "You'd think you'd learn by now. But you keep trying to save him. And he keeps dying. It's almost sad."
I looked up at her, tears running down my face. "Why are you doing this?"
"Because it's fun." Her smile spread, showing too many teeth. "Watching you two dance through timeline after timeline, always failing, always suffering. Do you know what you are, Adrian Vale?"
I couldn't answer. Couldn't think past the blood on my hands.
"You're my favorite experiment," Lyanna said. "And this game? It's far from over."
Kieran's hand found mine. Squeezed weakly.
"Not... your fault," he breathed. "Never... your fault..."
Then his eyes closed.
And I started yelling.