I learned from a very young age that I was different from others. I was born lacking the skill to understand emotions. I can think of numerous occasions where this became obvious. One time I was at a classmate's sleepover, watching a horror movie, whenever the others began to scream - some even cry - I sat still without even moving an inch. Another time one of my friends cried because her dog passed away. I couldn't understand what was so sad about it. Isn't it natural for pets to die? I remember asking what was wrong, only to be met with glances as if they were looking at some strange creature. But to be honest it didn't bother me, I mean why would it?
Even my parents caught on to my strange behavior. They took me to a doctor. I don't recall a lot of what happened that day. I remember they ran tests, talked to me, and the sight of my parent's eyes filled with an emotion I couldn't quite place. We were told what we already thought. I was born without the ability to understand emotions. But what's so bad about that? It's not like it is deadly right? I am still alive, aren't I? So why do they keep looking at me with those strange eyes. Back then I didn't know what it was but later I came to know that emotion as devastation.
After the doctor visit, my parents got consumed in work. I know that most of the reason for that was to grow a distance between us but why? Why distance themselves from me, their own child? And they weren't the only ones. My friends, classmates and teachers alike distanced themselves. And I was okay with that, I mean it wasn't like I understood the importance of those relations anyway.
Over time I became able to imitate emotions quite well, but that didn't mean I actually felt them. Inside I still felt nothing. And so, my days dragged by. I slept, ate, went to school, ate again and went to sleep. It was the same day in and day out. Nothing changed. Didn't go out at night, didn't go to the movies, didn't hang out with friends. Sure, I got to know people, but I wouldn't say we ever became close. Even if I could imitate emotions, it was like humans had a sixth sense for picking up when people were faking it.
I didn't hate my life, to be honest it was pretty nice. You didn't have to live up to people's expectations, didn't have to overwork yourself, and could pretty much do whatever you wanted. My life was just like that, and I thought that nothing would change for as long as I lived. But it turned out I was dead wrong, because my whole life turned on its head, when a new transfer student entered my class. It might just be your average summer day, with the sun shining, but to me it was that day that changed everything. Both for the better but certainly also for the worse.