Fuxin can't sleep.
He turned and turned, sometimes fluffing the pillow but it didn't work. Gods don't need sleep but Fuxin liked to sleep, it reminded him that he could be mortal anytime he likes.
He sat up and looked at the side , he wasn't used to seeing that place empty. Guayin have been sleeping there for so long, probably millennials if not more.
He opened the drawer beside him and brought out his opium sachet , Guayin will kill him if she discovers but opium can be a wonderful sleeping agent.
He put it into the pipe and light it up before inhaling it in.
One puff
Another puff
Another puff
Fuxin kept puffing and puffing but nothing changed. At last he dropped the pipe and stared into space.
He let out an experarated sigh and changed his clothes before grabbing his pillow.
His walk to the cold palace was swift , he made sure no one saw him as he climbed into the courtyard and entered into the room.
Guayin was sleeping deeply, her breathing coming out slowly. She quietly took up a small space, her back hunched over in the familiar fetal position from the early times in their marriage.
Fuxin put his pillow on the bed and took up his side. As her magnolia scent tickled his nose, the familiar wave of sleepiness washed over him and he started to lower his eyes.
"Fuxin? " her voice was soft with sleep "Fuxin what are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep" he murmured, his voice thick with exhaustion.
"Is that opium?" He heard her sniffing before she grabbed his collar and sniffed it. That damn nose of hers "IS THAT OPIUM?!"
He refused to open his eyes "I wonder why I couldn't sleep though, I—"
"Get the fuck out of my bed now!"
"It was just 7 puffs okay? I couldn't sleep so I just wanted —"
She slapped the bed making him shut up at once "Can't you stop thinking about pleasure for once and just think about the future?! What will everyone say if they found the emperor of heavens smoking a pipe ?!"
"Guayin calm down " Fuxin held her hand his voice so soft it was almost a whisper "i did wrong , I'm sorry I won't do it anymore "
There was a thick silence before she dropped his collar and laid back down on the bed.
"Once I'm out of here , I'm going to toss all your sachets out "
Fuxin laid down back on the bed "I will toss them out once I get out tomorrow but ….but what can I do next time I can't fall asleep "
"Just take my perfume and spray it on the pillow next to you"
"You took all your perfumes when you were coming here "
"Oh , take one in my vanity when you are leaving in the morning " she said, turning slightly but still keeping her back to him.
Fuxin voice was laced with sleepiness "I also need a dress too, your side is too empty, we should change the bed too, it's too big "
"It is a limited edition deluxe King size bed from the mortal realm , I brought it from one of your illegitimate children "
"They are really not my kids guayin "
"Right, because you married me out of pure love," she shot back, her voice dripping with irony. "You never hated me, of course."
"I never hated you"
"Oh, save it," she said, rolling away from him. "Just leave in the morning."
He never hated guayin.
He could be frustrated, he could be experarated , he could be pissed off so much he wants to strangle some sense into her but hatred was far from it.
He was an experienced man and his life was over millinerals, he had experienced betrayal, anger , desire and resentment; however it's only towards this stubborn wife of his , this feelings of his was jumbled, almost like a tightly knotted thread.
He had been advised countless times to divorce her, After all, he had married Guayin, ( Dalia lao, his love tribulation sister) because he wanted to protect her from her deranged father .
Dalia was dead a long time ago, reincarnated several times, Guayin was no longer in any danger from her power hungry father ( he too had died and reincarnated several times ) , however
No matter how fierce their arguments or how strained their relationship became, he can't let go of this wife of his.
There will be no one to scold him , there will be no one to eat meals with in the morning, there will be no one to sleep with at night, no one to take walks with, no one to hold on cold days.
No amount of hedonism could fill that part of their marriage.
"Guayin I really don't hate you "
"I know I know, let's sleep, I have a hundred reports to write tomorrow"
"Guayin I am cold "
"Go and hug one of your mistresses"
"I am serious"
There was a thick silence before he felt the warmth sinking into his arms and wrapping her arms around his waist, the magnolia scent was thick in the air , almost like a sleeping drug.
She placed her hand on his back and started to press on it in a familiar way. It have been millennials but he could still feel the comfort of when Guayin first did it to him.
His body laxed , his arms briefly squeezed her into his body before he buried his face into her hair "Guayin…"
"The way you are acting, one would think it wasn't you who banished me here in the first place; that's what you get for choosing an outsider over your wife" she said, her voice laced with tiredness.
"Shu hua is not an outsider "
"Oh yes she's one of your mistresses "
Ah that familiar sense of frustration is coming up again, too bad he's too sleepy to grab her by the neck.
"She was the maidservant who got your dress ready every morning when you became chief court lady of the jade Palace, she helped you comb your hair every morning, she even made a flower crown for you on our 8th millennial wedding anniversary "
There was a thick silence "She did?"
"You have always been the type to forget the good and remember the bad , Shu hua did a lot for you , she even fought with the dragon God wife because she insulted you once" Fuxin added, his voice softening.
"It just slipped out of my mind…"
Fuxin let out a sigh "You didn't have to hit her that hard"
"And you didn't have to defend her," Guayin snapped back.
"She was injured."
"She attacked me first." Her voice wavered slightly, he could swear he heard guilt.
"Guayin…why don't you tell her sorry "
"….."
"Guayin…"
"It's a fight between women, men should not get involved "
Fuxin lips twitched.
She placed a hand over his eyes "You have an event tomorrow, don't you need sleep?"
Fuxin let out a sigh ; his voice was soft.
"Guayin, you should always remember that despite we are gods , we still have remnants of our mortal emotions. Shu hua had a hard life as a mortal, She was a slave ,a solider and then a murderer, She had to kill her love tribulation with her own hands; it might seem silly but Taohua was the only good thing that happened to her after she ascended. Losing him over and over again must have been devastating"
"It's not only her , everyone have a sob story, we have our own sob story too"
"Yes it's not only her , that's why you have to be kinder and thoughtful. You have accumulated a lot of enemies because of this horrible mouth of yours , don't end up alienating your friends too "
Guayin voice was soft "They just can't handle the truth…"
He brushed her hair with his fingers, seeing her raise her eyes and stare at him ;his heart started to throb ; it hurt so much.
"Guayin …"
She blinked, her eye lashes fluttering "Hmm?"
His chest clenched and he stiffened a gasp before closing his eyes.
"If you become kinder , people will see that you are capable too ; don't you want to overthrow me?"
"I want to do it fair and square "
"Influence is a way of winning too"
There was a thick silence before she replied softly "I understand "
Then
"Is this what you tell your mistresses in the mortal realm?"
Fuxin
chest was hurting, if he keeps engaging with her , heaven knows all his hard work will disappear.
"Guayin , good night "
"What good night? Wake up ….Fuxin! "