Nick had a long dream.
In that dream , he remember how he met bei Shang for the first time, their past lives and life after his 'death'. They were painful but he didn't want to wake up , he wanted to stay forever if that's the only way he could see his lover.
It was a stormy evening, Bei Shang held him in his arms , his fingers felt so gentle on his hair, he swore he could smell that peach blossom scent.
"Nick you have to wake up , people are waiting for you "
"Can't I just stay here …with you? " He held Bei Shang closer "When I wake up , you won't be there , the tree isn't even there anymore, I don't want to live"
Bei Shang rubbed his hair "Mitch needs you"
"But I don't want to live "
"He is still a young boy , stay for his sake , I will come to take you when the time comes"
Bei Shang kissed his forehead before turning to flowers, Nick let down his tears as the world gradually turned dark.
Light touched his eyelids and he opened it slowly, his body ached as he sat up and looked at the tent wall.
"Dad , you're awake!"
He felt a collision on him and the familiar scent of vanilla; and he patted Mitch's….white hair?
"Huh ..your hair have changed color "
Mitch laughed " I know right? It changed color yesterday, I was washing my hair and boom it turned white "
Nick couldn't help but smile , a soft affection in his eyes "Your Huli Jing side is a full grown adult now "
"We will talk later about this , I need you to meet someone"
Nick rubbed his swollen eyes "I really don't feel like meeting anyone now"
"I swear it's someone important "
"Mitch I really can't"
Mitch grabbed a white robe and put it on him , he grabbed a comb and brushed Nick long hair before packing it into a low bun , he grabbed a wet towel and wiped his dad face clean.
"Dad , please just do this once for me "
Mitch was a contented boy , he never asked much , It was the first time Mitch was asking something from him. Nick really don't have the heart to reject him.
Nick swallowed and stood up , his body ached and his heart was raw but he willed himself to walk.
Mitch followed beside him ; ready to lend a arm if he fell.
Soldiers greeted him as he passed but he answered without looking up ; for now he didn't want to look at anyone, his heart was too heavy.
Mitch stopped at a tent , his eyes so bright it sparked. His eyes had not sparkled like that in nine years , who was in the tent ?
The scent of peach blossom flowers swept his nose.
A tingle went up the tips of his toes straight to the ends of his hair , the God shaped hole in his heart filled up and his heart quickened.
'Could it be ….'
Nick pushed open the tent.
A beautiful man laid sleeping on the bed , peach blossom eyes closed, his red lips parting with each breath , the blanket covering his white skin.
Bei Shang….
Pa! Nick gave himself a resounding slap.
The sound was so sudden, Mitch jumped in fright "Dad! "
Bei Shang stirred , Nick instinctively raised his finger to his lips and shook his head.
Tears brimmed in Mitch's eyes.
His dad had always gone through life in repeating motions , just doing the bare minimum and trying to get by with life. He had to watch him closely for suicide, he had to pray every night that his dad lived long enough.
For the first time in nine years, his dad had a reproachful glint in his eyes . A hint of his past self in his actions , His dad was no longer a walking shadow, his dad was back.
Mitch nod his head , he raised his finger and placed it on his lips.
"I will leave you two together" Mitch whispered and climbed out the tent. Auntie Xuan was waiting outside, her gaze was worried " how was it?"
He raised a thumbs up "He's good"
"You are not worried leaving only the two of them? They might take a long time and your illness will act up again"
It was only then he noticed His heart didn't feel panicky , his palms were not sweaty and he didn't feel anxious, his voice was soft.
"It's because I know he's in safe hands"
The scent of peach blossoms was everywhere in the tent , it tickled Nick's nose bringing back memories.
In the backdrop of the busy city , holding Bei Shang hand for the first time.
Fighting spirits with Bei Shang.
Hurting Bei Shang.
Taking Bei Shang to the demon realm
Having fights with Bei Shang
Holding Bei Shang
Kissing Bei Shang
Crying about bei Shang.
Nick walked closer and sat down on the side of the bed, Bei Shang stirred but he didn't wake up.
Long black hair , peach blossom eyes closed with sleep , soft breaths , white skin , a small smile on his face.
Right from the start of his life , all the way to the ending, he breathe and live for taohua, holding on to this man have been the only thing he never regretted even when it was filled with pain.
Nick picked up a lock of hair and placed it on his nose , the scent tickled his nose.
Taohua… Gui yan …. Bei Shang
His soul sang out and tears gathered in his eyes. He sniffed and placed his hand on Bei Shang own.
Bei Shang stirred and blinked his eyes open, black eyes stared at his own blue eyes , sparkling with clear light.
"You're not Mitch but you have his eyes "
Nick heart stopped and his heart clenched , all his fantasies of Reunion suddenly went up in smoke.
"Huh?"
Bei Shang " You also have his hair … are you his dad?"
"You don't remember me?"
Nick throat tightened . Bei Shang had come back just like he had promised but he didn't remember anything, their fights , their love , their touches ; everything was gone.
At first, he had the urge to run out , to hide away from everything, but seeing Bei Shang confused expression, he shook his head absentmindedly.
It doesn't matter too much on a second thought , it was just a few adjustments, it just meant they could just start on a clean state and…
Nick felt a soft touch on his face and he raised his head up
"Hmm?"
Bei Shang flinched , he seemed confused at his own actions "Huh ….are you Mitch's dad?"
Nick nod his head "Hmmm"
"So you're my husband "
Nick felt the pain in his heart slowly disappearing, his fingers moved to Bei Shang own fingers on his face and he held tight, seeing Bei Shang didn't move , only look at him softly, he smiled and nod his head.
"I am your husband "
Bei Shang felt a hole in his heart get filled , the longing went away and turned into a soft emotion , he couldn't help but smile. Reaching out to hold the man had totally being on impulse , just like his actions these days but it felt good, it felt right.
Two days ago, on a stormy night, sounds of guapins and bells rang in his ears disturbing his slumber, then he heard a voice.
The voice was soft , warm and familiar , it reached out to a deep part of his soul.
I pardon you
He felt electricity run through his root all the way to the tip of his flowers before disappearing.
His body engulfed in a white but gentle light, his roots turned into legs , his trunk into a body, his branches into arms and his core into a head.
The pitta pata of the rain fell directly on his skin rousing him from his sleep.
The rain felt good against his skin , pouring through his hair down his body.
He raised his head up and stretched, he rubbed his eyes and let out a yawn. He looked around before snapping his fingers and a thin outer robe suddenly appeared, he put the robe on .
He stood up and walked into the forest, the rain felt good but it was also making him feel cold.
As he waited under the canopy of another tree , something needled his heart , he felt like he was missing something important. He urgently needed to meet someone but he had no idea who.
A rabbit jumped closer to him and nuzzle his leg , He instinctively brushed his fingers on the rabbit nose. The rabbit let out a small coo , it's eyes were bright before it…
Chomp!
Pain radiated through his fingers , the rabbit wanted to chomp again but He pushed it away and looked at his bleeding hand.
The rabbit huffed and left.
Several animals came after. Some animals tried to climb on him , others tried to bite him. It took the entire night before the rain stopped.
Letting out a soft sigh , he made his way back to his former spot . At least no animal bothered him there , so he would rest in peace.
He saw a group of people discussing in his former spot, they seemed worried but they were also crowding the place , later a young boy shouted and they dispersed leaving only the young boy , a young woman and a sleeping man.
The unknown emotion needled his heart again and he held his chest. The three strangely felt familiar, they made his heart go strange , a mixture of pain and longing.
Longing…. Ah that was the emotion that kept disturbing him all night.
He moved closer and the young boy glared at him , his eyes a vivid purple.
"I said Sc- huh"
"I am sorry I thought you meant the others"
The young woman stood to her feet, her eyes were filled with emotions "Shixong… is that you?"
He tilted his head at the strange word , this was a new word for him , why didn't he know the meaning "Shi…xong?"
The teenager eyes widen and he pushed the lady "Grab him before he runs"
"Run?" But he wasn't going to run away, he wanted to learn more new things from them.
He felt his feet above the ground and a strong hold on his waist, before he could blink , the young woman broke into a run.
"…." He really wasn't planning on running away.
They went into a large community full of tents , a lot of the people gasped and pointed at him , occasionally jumping in joy. He didn't know why they were happy to see him , but he felt the urge to respond in some way or the other.
When they got to an empty tent , she put him on the bed and grabbed ropes. She then tie down his arms and feet , whispering words of apology.
"Shixong I am so sorry, it's for your good "
He blinked and looked around, the tent looked familiar, he felt he have been here before but he didn't know where.
"Shixong, when did you wake up? You look confused…"
"Is my name Shixong?"
The young woman shook her head and sat down on the bed "You have a lot of names"
"So this is not the first time we are meeting?"
"Yes" The woman smiled softly, her eyes was filled with the combination of affection and sorrow. "You have lived a really long life before you reverted into your tree form. You promised you will come back eight years ago"
Bei Shang nod slowly " Do I do this every time?"
She shook her head "In some lives you did, in some you didn't…it's complicated "
"So what's my name"
"Your celestial name is Taohua, I am your younger martial sister so I call you Taohua Shixong, the young man you talked to is your child, he calls you mom , the man sleeping is your husband, he calls you Bei Shang"
The names were really familiar but he felt a lot connected with Bei Shang, it loosen a unknown knot in his heart.
The young woman was looking at him expectantly, her eyes were red with emotions, seeing that , a word slowly formed on his tongue.
"Shi…mei?… Xuan hua Shimei?"
Tears brimmed in her eyes and she nodded vigorously "Yes I am your shimei!"
She started to untie him , she sniffed as she rub the marks away " Shixong, Your memories are probably still there , just buried in your subconsciousness, we just have to be paitent, we will get there"
Bei Shang lied down on the bed ,the sleep he couldn't have yesterday, came in waves now , his eyes were closing "my tummy hurts"
"You are probably hungry, I will go get you food "
"My chest hurts too , I feel like there's a hole in it and I need to see someone but I don't know who"
Shimei smiled and rubbed his fingers, her voice was soft "They are coming Shixong"
When Bei Shang opened his eyes, it was in the evening. A loaf of bread and steaming soup was on the table, A teenage boy sat down on the floor staring at him , his eyes were focused as if afraid he will disappear if he blinkes.
It should be creepy but Bei Shang oddly felt comfortable with the teenager, he even had the urge to pat his hair and rub his cheeks.
"Mom…"
"I birthed you?"
The teenager smiled and stood up , he sat down beside him and brought the food closer "It's complicated but you're my mom"
"Ah is that so?" Warm bread soaked in soup touched his lips and he started to chew "I can do it myself"
Mitch handed it to him slowly, his gaze never leaving his face , then he toppled the bowl , pouring the steaming soup on his arm.
It was instinctive , Bei Shang grabbed the jug of cool water and poured it on Mitch's skin , after the damage have reduced, he glared at him.
"Who taught you such a terrible thing?!"
Mitch flinched but his eyes were bright " You haven't lost everything"
Bei Shang throat tightened, he had the urge to pull Mitch's ear "You didn't hear my question? I said who tau-"
Mitch threw himself into his arms and hugged him tightly, Bei Shang wanted to pull him off , only to hear little sobs.
His hand movements were instinctual; he placed that hand on Mitch's hair and back.
Slowly, his hands moved , softly touching the teenager with care.
This motions … he had done it before, he did it a lot; he looked at the teenager.
A memory came into his head ; holding a young boy , patting his head and back, saying he loves him so much.
"Mi…Mitch?"
Mitch smiled, tears in his eyes "Mom , it's me"
"But you're so small in my memories "
Mitch couldn't help but laugh " Mom I was 10 years old then , I am 19 years old now"
Bei Shang looked at Mitch, his eyes turned blurry and he sniffed.
"Why did you hurt yourself?" then his fingers went to Mitch's ear and he pulled as hard as he can " I said who taught you all these bad habits?!"
"Ow ow ow Mom!!!"
A while later , Bei Shang sat on the floor, Mitch was laying on his laps , his fingers moved through his hair in soft motions , Mitch yawned , his eyes watering with sleep.
"I feel like I am forgetting someone important" Bei Shang rubbed Mitch's ear " Someone really dear to me"
Mitch smiled "Mom , you have forgotten a lot of things"
"So many things " He looked outside, his voice soft " Did I birth you or not , what was my favorite food, why do I feel connected to one name and not the other, what is my favorite color, who am I longing for, who is my favorite person…"
" I was your favorite person" Mitch mumbled, his eyes closing with sleep "Dad was your second favorite person but don't let him know"
"Dad?"
Mitch nod "Yes , Dad, your husband "
Bei Shang felt his heart soften and he smiled back, his voice soft.
"I must have loved him very much"
"You did mom " Mitch held his hand and closed his eyes, his voice trailed off "Mom…welcome back"
Bei Shang looked at his husband holding his hand to his face, his pupils reflecting him
as if he's the only person in the world.
The hole in his heart disappeared and the longing turned to another emotion, an emotion that made him feel like crying.
Relief.
Bei Shang voice cracked "I must have loved you very much"
Tears brimmed in Nick's eyes , and he nod his head, his voice soft.
"You did "