Nick was born in peculiar circumstances.
All he knew was that after he was born, his mom breastfed him for a week and carried him all over the village to find someone to name him. After a young orphan gives him the Hong Jin name, his mom gives him to her, and tells her to hold him, that she wants to get something from a nearby village.
She didn't come back until the third day and by then, they brought her in a stretcher covered with white.
It turned out, he was the child born out of the rape of his mom during a demon raid of the village. She tried killing him during the pregnancy but the demon blood protected him. After she put to birth, she thought he looked pretty so she decided to give him out to whoever named him before she sent herself off.
The girl who was suddenly dumped with a child didn't know what to do, after all, she was only 14 years old. But at the same time, she wasn't willing to give the child away so she started to work hard to raise the baby.
Nick had a peculiar upbringing. His adoptive mom was rarely home so he was always left with a woman who would hit him for any little thing. Seeing that he was the quiet type, a lot of people liked to throw things at him and say mean words to him.
But he didn't care, whenever his mom would come home she would bring lots of sweets and new clothes for him. She didn't hug much or talk much but she made sure he always had everything he needed.
His adoptive mom fell sick a few years later, the doctor had said that her pulse was weak and her qi was small. Something had been stealing Qi from her.
It was obviously a warning from the doctor to his mom to let him go but she just "hmmed" and sent the doctor away. She didn't say a word about the matter even when she passed away that same year.
Before she passed, she had left a huge sum of money and clothes, she warned him to learn to hunt food and not to cause any trouble.
He was alone after that. There was no one to expect after a long week of bullying again. He developed a kindly affection for 14-year-old women because they reminded him of his mom.
However, every time he tried to make friends with them, they ended up extremely sick and some would even die after.
After a while, the villagers sent him out to fend for himself.
They were right about being merciful. Many villages were cruel and the demon kind were very intolerant of the mortals, only they would send him out because they were familiar with him already.
It was hard fending for himself at first, he had never gone through hard times and his mom left enough properties and land for him to be considered a rich successor but he was chased out with nothing but clothes and a few rations.
At last, he adapted to the forest life, he just couldn't adapt to not having anyone to talk to or to simply stay with . He took up the fisherman job because even if there was little contact with the world he could have in a week, it was enough for him.
It was during a time he went fishing, that he discovered the drowning Taohua and saved him.
Nick voice was leveled and consistent, it was almost like he wasn't the protagonist of the story. Bei Shang felt his heart squeeze in pain.
He knew how it felt to lose his parents and then get isolated. It starts light, the pain won't be a lot and you try to go along with life, but when you see happy families and people getting praised, the pain becomes overbearing and then you start doing anything to get a little social contact. Whether it's to misbehave or get a job in the social industry.
But Nick didn't even have the option, all he had left was to be a fisherman to get a little social contact.
No wonder he didn't want Taohua to learn his past.
But Bei Shang didn't let his heartache cloud his eyes.
Nick although looked level and consistent, his fists were clenched and his eyes stayed lowered. Nick acted like this in the demon realm whenever he had something to hide.
He wasn't saying something.
Bei Shang knows that Nick has nothing to do with the girl's death, the long relationship with Nick in the demon has made him realize that Nick rarely kills people.
His black-bellied nature was only limited to manipulation and provocation. He would kill when the situation demands it but most of the time, he would avoid trouble.
What could he be lying about? Was it the death of those girls that chased him out of the village or is there more to it?
However Taohua doesn't seem aware of this, he frowns and pats Nick's hand. Taohua have never felt abandonment before, he was aware of it but it was a distance thing for him , a thing only seen in books.
Hearing it now and seeing it happen right in front of him was distressing, it made him reevaluate the life he have been living.
"What the villagers did was mean"
Nick blinked and held his hand, his eyes were still lowered " I don't think about it much anymore, it's why I don't like going to the boundary of the village"
Taohua first nodded then he shook his head, his frown deepening.
"I have to move to your village"
Nick snapped his head up in confusion, his eyes were clouded with panic.
"Why ?"
Taohua opened his mouth and then closed it, he had no idea how to tell Hong Jin that he had to start his tribulations.
It's been a month since he arrived in the mortal realm and all he does is eat, sleep, hang out with Hong Jin all day, and comb his hair. At first, it was to recover from his injuries, later, he got spoiled by Nick and started to laze around.
Seeing the villagers reminded him of his initial duty, and hearing Hong Jin's story gave him additional reasons to become a god fast.
At first, he wanted to become a god, just because he grew up around them, but now he wanted to become a god to lend help to people like Hong Jin.
But he can't tell Hong Jin that he's a demi-god, it was just not…proper.
He scratched his head for an excuse but none came up, he sighed and shook his head.
"It's…I can't tell you now "
Nick tightened his hold on him "Do you hate me now you heard everything?"
Taohua shook his head at once "No no no, why would you think I hate you? It's not that … I don't know whether to tell you or not…"
"Tell me "Nick's eyes turned red and it took him everything to restrain himself from transforming right here and there, he didn't want to scare Taohua away "Explain, and I will listen "
Taohua placed his free hand on his chin, after a long while of thinking, he sighed and then lowered his voice.
"Promise you won't tell anyone "
"I won't tell anyone "
"Okay " As if trying to make sure they were the only ones at home, he looked around, then he pulled Nick closer to himself. Nick stiffened but he quickly recovered.
"I am not just a disciple from another place …I am a demi-god "
There was a thick silence between them before Nick nodded his head.
"That would explain…why you're so pretty "
Taohua blinked in confusion "huh ?"
"I just meant I believe you " Nick coughed and then moved a bit aside, his face was flushed as he peeked at Taohua "What kind of demi-god ?"
"I Don't have a title yet but many gods say that I am going to be the next god of war "
"God of war?" He looked at Taohua up and down then he lowered his eyes and let out a laugh "Why did they say that ?"
"You're doubting my manliness again?!"
"No no no " Nick immediately shook his head, his voice was flustered "It's just that you don't look like someone who would kill another person, you look more like..more like…"
'A young mistress who would spend their time learning music, frustrating the bridemaker, and hearing stories at entertainment houses. He looked more like the god of beauty than of war.'
"I look more like what ?! Say it !!!"
"The god of the mountains " he lied smoothly.
Taohua smiled and hit Nick's hand, his eyes twinkled " My younger sister once said that too that I am more suited for the mountains since all I do is run around all day, but my aptitude is indifference"
Not noticing the slow shadow of heartbreak in Nick's expression, he continued " I don't know how to love and all I ever want to attain is immortality, ambition is a great quality of a god general so fuxin just gave me that post "
"You…You can never love?"
Taohua nods in affirmation "Yes I can never love another person"
Even if Taohua was a blockhead, Bei Shang could see it. Underneath Nick's calm eyes, there was an undercurrent of distress and madness, his free fingers were clenched so tight, it was bleeding; his voice was hoarse like he was trying to control himself.
A wolf who was suddenly given meat would be grateful and happy, he would follow the person around, vowing loyalty but what if the meat was suddenly snatched back? No matter what explanation was behind it, perhaps the meat was poisoned or perhaps it didn't belong to him anyway, he wouldn't listen.
You can't force a person to love you back, not to talk of a demigod who never had you in their sights. The demigod may smile, hug, may accept affection but it's only natural.
The demigod will ascend and leave him alone with no attachment left. His relationship with him is only like a dream.
"Hong Jin, are you okay?"
Nick immediately nodded, and he lowered his red eyes. " Oh yes …" He stood up and ran inside "I just realized I left something on the stove"
People sa
id that gods were nice and sweet, they would send help to the vulnerable and keep them safe.
Only if they knew how Nick cried that night.