Chapter 2 - An Alcoholic, Womanizing, Racist Gets Isekai’d Into a Woke Fantasy World—He lives his best life!

Chapter 16

There were roughly two hundred people left at the camp, a good chunk of people just left after the gates were open and more throughout the day and night.

As people were serving themselves a grain based breakfast, Maro yelled to get everyone's attention

"Good morning everyone, some of you may be wondering about your future… We have a couple months of grain that we can split amongst ourselves… For your plan, we will settle an abandoned and secluded dwarven fort… We are enemies of the kingdom, once word has spread we will all have bounties on us, we will never be able to rest within the confines of the Unity Kingdom"

"From what Kadrin told me, that ancient fort is huge enough to house a garrison of thousands, we can start a new life and offer an option to people who don't agree with the Kingdom… mainly fuck those Green fucking bastards. Free to kill, steal and rape with impunity under bullshit pretense… I've been here a week and I am fucking over it."

The people grumbled in agreement. Maro looked at the people, they were still recovering, weak… he wasn't sure they would even survive a week or two of marching across enemy land. The adrenaline of the escape was gone… they had to unlearn their 'survival at all costs' mentality and switch over to a thrive mentality. 

He was glad for the dwarves in his company, they were more hardy for sure and excited to go to a legitimate dwarven ruin, return to their roots. The vast majority of Dwarves lived above ground ever since the demon lord of old chased them out of their mountains and underground cities, long ago.

They didn't even know of any Dwarves that had communities underground anymore, outside of mining operations within the kingdom.

"We have two weeks of marching… across enemy lands… we may not make it, but I promise we will burn and pillage every single village and town that houses those green shit stains"

With that, his new contingent of dwarf spear men repeatedly slammed the butts of their spears on the ground and shouted for war.

"We leave before Mid-day, pack up those who wish to join us"

He sat back down to chat with Kadrin and Gnarlo…

It had been a tough morning for Kadrin… Friga and Hilda took off earlier to go back to Friga's family estate. Turns out both of them were married and were only sent to the prison because they stabbed an Orc, who was being inappropriate, while shopping in town… 

But Dwarves were an honourable race, they had a strict code, so despite being married… A promise is a promise. Maro was happy, he didn't want anyone falling in love with him while he casually enjoyed his new life, he had gotten burned one too many times in his old life… scorned lovers weren't good for the old life span.

"Don't worry Kadrin, we have many Dwarf women who have decided to stay. You'll get married one day"

Kadrin spat in anger "Maro, you do things the right way, I will walk in your footsteps… I don't want to ever get married anymore"

Kadrin then smiled remembering his night with Friga and then frowned again.

Meanwhile Gnarlo had become an item with the tall blonde human… An odd pair but it wasn't unheard of. Her name was Jenny, a low born woman, who's only crime was defending herself against a Goblin Lord's advances.

"You meatheads will never know how to keep a woman happy" Gnarlo piped

Maro and Kadrin both threw gravel at Gnarlo who cowered behind his new cloak. Gnarlo had decided to take Greentooth's Ornate wooden staff as a walking stick and took some fancy clothes from his closet as well.

"Lets take stock boys… looks like almost 250 people are staying with us. Roughly 70 Dwarf spearmen with shields, 25 Human swordsmen and 50 Gnomish Crossbow teams "

The armoury was stacked, Orcs and Wolfmen didn't really wear armour or shields so they had more than enough defensive equipment to fully suit up those 70 in chain mail, shields and helmets.

Weirdly most humans had left on their own, so they had around 25 swordsmen left and surprisingly most gnomes stayed. Those rascals got the worst treatment in the Kingdom, if you weren't a mage you were just a miniature version of a human, not good for hard labour and any academic pursuit was strongly limited to guild members. They would be happy to pillage with us. 

But they had also found roughly 50 crossbows, another item that orcs and wolfmen didn't use. If they had, they would have been done for, they just needed to man the gate and shoot them down until reinforcements arrived.

But with those crossbows, he organized 2 man gnome teams to operate and shoot them. Maro had himself a solid little force, the only thing he was missing was cavalry. They also had about 100 women who had stayed to follow them… none of them really excited him.

"We have about a hundred camp followers, a couple of horses to pull the wagons that were left behind, A couple months of grain, a month of meat and a week of wine and a good chunk of silver"

"Kadrin, can you lead us to the Dwarf fortress?"

"Aye, it's been over a century since I looked upon it, but I remember" he spat… "let's get going"

"We have to be careful, there are for sure towns on our way and this far away from the capital, all the Orc and goblin tribes will be on the more feral side of things, they probably don't even speak common" Warned Gnarlo 

"Nice, good opportunity to liberate some of us and to get some more silver… Can I count on gnomes for scouting?" 

Gnarlo beamed with pride "For sure, you only see us because we let you see us"

The trio got up and started packing their private wagon full of all the luxuries. They filled it up with silver, wine and meat. Gnarlo had Jenny sit in the back while the three of them sat on the Coachmen's bench up front. 

While they waited for the rest of the camp to get ready, they passed around a wine skin. For some reason Maro thought the week supply of wine wouldn't last 3 days. As he passed the skin to Kadrin he remembered he got 2 levels during his escape and opened up his character sheet.

Nice he thought, his stats got a decent raise and he even got some agility and dexterity points. He checked the skills tab, nice he got a new ability.

[War Cry - your roar thunders across the battlefield, you inspire allies and intimidate foes]

This game was really pushing him to be some frontline monster… he preferred not being heard or seen but he wasn't out of his element doing frontline assault work. He adapted and moved on.

"You guys know when the next green skin town is?" Maro wanted to test the effectiveness of his shout. 

Gnarlo responded after a swig of wine "Probably 2-3 days away, there is good hunting in that area as well. The orc tribes should be situated near water sources and my boys can pick up some extra meat while scouting." 

Chapter 17

Gnarlo drew in the dirt with a stick

"Okay, so confirmed, Orc village a couple hours north east, there are roughly 500 of them… no walls, just mud huts and tents. Of the 500, around 200 are solid warriors, but expect the 300 women and children to fight to the death as well"

Maro nodded "We'll kill them all"

"Hold up for a god damn minute, the numbers don't make sense. Just their warriors outnumber us and the women and children are just as ruthless if not as strong, how exactly do you plan on dealing with that"

He smiled "same way we did at the prison, pitched battle, we'll line up across from them and use their stupidity and aggression against them"

Gnarlo whipped Maro with the stick multiple times "Ouch"

"I forgot to mention that they have prisoners in the centre of their camp, roughly 30 humans and dwarves… I imagine they killed and ate any gnomes they caught. Pitched battle might risk their safety"

Kadrin spoke up "you're overthinking it, as soon as they see us, all prisoners will be left behind without any guards… perfect time for a couple of sneaky gnomes to release them"

"Our advantage is the most basic of organizational ability, they are so stupid and brain dead, it's all we need to win… One on One yeah almost everyone here would lose a direct duel with an Orc… We just need to get them pissed off and run into the shield wall… why are we waiting lets line up and march"

As the lads were forming up, Maro wondered if he could conquer this world with the most basic military doctrine, so far life had been easy enough for him… all though he didn't know if he could handle a direct hit from a fireball… He decided against conquering the world, the part after conquering bothered him, he hated administrative work…

The orc village was at the top of a hill, they quietly formed up at the bottom. Under extreme protest and verbal insult by both Gnarlo and Kadrin, he convinced them that this was the best strategy given their numbers and orc tactics… Their momentum would work against them.

2 rows of Dwarf shield wall formed up, 35 dwarves wide. The 25 human swordsmen loosely formed up at flanks to guard the crossbowmen and to jump on opportunities when presented. The 50 Gnomish crossbowmen lined up tightly behind the shield wall.

"Alright folks, we're here to save our own and kill theirs. All you have to focus on today… Now make some noise!"

At the order Spears and shields were rhythmically hitting each other, the humans were yelling racial slurs, every unique slur got a chuckle out of Kadrin… he spit on the floor but hit his boot.

After a minute of noise, hundreds of Orcs appeared on top of the huge hill, most were unarmed but the warriors had stone axes and spears… the Order army looked like ants from up there.

The village chief Krok stepped forward, scars covered his skin more than his loincloth, in fact his balls hung out the bottom. He laughed out loud "Puny ants, we kill you, we eat you, we fuck you dead or alive HAHAHAHAH" 

Krok roared.

With that, Maro activated [War Cry]

His voice thundered and it was like an adrenaline rush surged through his mini army, their veins seemed like they would burst, ready to kill immediately… Thank fuck the Orcs were aggressive, using war cry before battle would be dumb against smarter opponents… just wait till it wore off and the entire army had an adrenaline dump. He took a mental note to use it during battles going forward.

The Orcs were far enough away to just get a slight scare, which made them even angrier that they would even feel a slight bit of intimidation from such puny chattel. They charged immediately at the taunt.

The scene reminded Maro of some stupid gameshow, 500 lumbering Orcs, men, women and children. They started stumbling, tripping and rolling down the hill, more than half lost their balance. 

"Fire!" 

The gnomes unleashed a volley, not killing a single orc, but causing even more of them to trip and stumble down the hill. 

The chief Orc who was in the front of the pack, fell just 10 meters before the line and rolled right in front of the spears where he was stabbed into swiss cheese by the spears immediately.

The Orcs kept falling and charging into the spears a couple of orcs at a time, the dwarves had to stop their stabbing and just brace themselves as best as they could.

The pile of bodies kept getting bigger, so big in fact that it made a ramp of orcs for the others to jump over.

Maro and the swordsmen dealt with the jumpers immediately as they couldn't stop their momentum.

"15 paces back Maro yelled"

The dwarf line in unison went back 15 steps now as the rest of the orcs jumped over their families bodies they landed right into the spear wall again. 

Three times they had to do a structured 15 pace retreat, by the end of the battle they had 3 walls of dead orcs… all 500 dead.

The first wall was mainly warriors… by the last wall it was all orc children.

Good riddance the Trio thought.

Before the last wave of orcs were done, the prisoners were all safe and sound, eating some food and watching the blood bath unfold in the distance.

Aside from some light damage, not one death amongst his side… He let out a cheer!

The men roared in unison!

And then Maro sprinted up the hill and yelled "Finders Keepers!". Maro didn't want to take the joy of looting away from his men, but he also wanted to get the best stuff. A village of 500 must have enough stuff to loot for all his men.

With his tall frame and enhanced physique, he was half way up the hill before his men registered what was happening. 

As he overcame the edge of the hill, he was pissed, the fucking sneaky little gnomes who rescued the prisoners were running between the tents taking whatever they could carry, luckily it wasn't a lot.

He saw Gnarlo, who spotted him back. They both looked at the Chiefs tent and then back at each other. Off Gnarlo went… he was closer but Maro's legs were longer and he used Bloodrush, he blew past the Gnome and entered the Chiefs tent.

Maro's mouth dropped at the site.

It was as fancy as a tent an orc could make, nice furs lining the floor, and a fire pit in the middle. But what he couldn't stop staring at, were the two most beautiful women he had ever seen who were collared to a post by the Chiefs bed. They were tall, 180 cm at least, close to his height, their figures were perfect, athletic, beautiful, dull pink hair, emerald eyes and really pointy ears…

Suddenly Gnarlo busted in "Hey not fucking fair to use combat abilities to loot…" Gnarlo was staring also 

"Top tier elf sex slaves" Gnarlo muttered to Maro

"They look like twins," Maro muttered back… "I will tell Jenny, so back off"

Gnarlo still staring whispered "we are not in a committed relationship and do not tell her"

Both of the degenerates realized what they were doing as the Elf women were cowering under the fur. 

"We are very sorry, we have slain the Orcs of this village, you are free to go"

Maro slowly approached and with his hands, he snapped the rusty iron collars. The elf women covered themselves up with furs and cried with relief. Even Maro thought his degeneracy was inappropriate right now.

"I will go get some women from the camp to help you" he told them.

He stepped outside and then he saw the swordsmen rampaging through the tents, he grabbed 2 unlucky men and told them to guard the chief's tent until some women came to relieve them.

He was going to fetch them himself as he was the fastest but as he came to the edge of the hill and looked down, he immediately collapsed, unable to breathe. Some humans thought something happened and ran over and they collapsed breathless on the hill also, one even started rolling down he couldn't stop himself.

What they saw was a terrible sight… The dwarves with their short legs could barely run up the hill to loot. Their short legs and heavy armour was no help, once they fell and started rolling they couldn't stop till they hit the Orc wall. They were churning up all the grass trying to climb, making it even worse, the hill turned into a mud slide. 

Seeing humans laughing at the top enraged them and they formed a line to get up. Kadrin, seeing Maro laughing, took his helmet and whipped it at Maro, his eyes were too covered in tears to see. The helmet hit him in his dick and balls, Maro crumpled and rolled to the bottom of the hill in pain and laughter.

The dwarves cheered at the bullseye and followed suit throwing their helmets at the humans up top. They suffered more casualties conquering this hill then they did killing 500 orcs. 

Maro got some female camp followers to tend to the Elf women at the top of the hill and then he got ready for a night of Partying. The gnomes had found a shit ton of stolen wine barrels, despite not being able to loot a lot of coin they got a lot of quality of life items, enough furs for everyone to sleep warm and comfy, portable tents and a shit ton of smoked meat.

Chapter 18

After a night of blackout drinking, Maro woke up under a pile of furs in the Chiefs tent. The Trio and some other men decided to drink there, where they all passed out warm and snug.

He went to go piss and drink some watered down wine to sober up. He looked around… storage space was a problem, their carts were now stacked with as many furs as they could stuff and whatever smoked meat and wine was left… They were still at least a week away from the fortress. 

And they would pass by at least one or two more orc and goblin villages.

As he was pondering his logistics issue Gnarlo and Jenny walked up to talk to him.

He could have sworn that Gnarlo said "fucking lucky tall bastard" 

But it was Jenny that spoke up "Maro the Elf ladies wish to speak with you, I think they may be nobility of some kind"

Maro perked up, in more than one sense, at the mention of the elf twins

"Do you happen to know what they want"

"No" Jenny Replied "just that they wanted to speak to the leader of our forces… and not Gnarlo"

"Not right, I was Maro's boss first"

"Haha Gnarlo, good one, if you want Gnarlo to be your boss everyone, you'll get paid in tiny little gnome coins" Nobody else was around to hear his low effort, racist joke. 

"Anyways, where are they, I will speak with them"

Jenny pointed to a tent

Maro speed walked his way in, hoping to catch a glance but then reminded himself how disgusting his thoughts were and that maybe the Deity was right.

They were bathed and clothed in whatever common dresses they had left that could fit. Being tall, the dresses on the elves were kind of short, exposing their long legs… Maro waved to them and tried to rip out his own hair to get his body to shut up.

"Lord, my name is Alleria and she is Valleria, we are daughters of the Jade forest Elves to the north west of us, can we talk"

Maro was somewhat nervous for the first time in a while "Please, don't call me Lord, my name is Maro, how can I help you ladies"

There was a long silence…

Almost crying "We are ladies no longer and have no home to go to anymore, we wish to serve you as healers, we both unlocked our class"

Woah healers, nice, if they could regrow limbs he could go all out fighting now, but he had some questions.

"Alleria, Valleria, what happened to the Jade forest, why can't you return?"

Another silence "we were defiled by the orcs… as per our customs and laws, we are forever banished and cannot return"

Maro hated virgins anyways, the worst sex, one can have. He was actually somewhat progressive on this point.

"Ladies, you will never be judged by what has been done to you. In my eyes you are the most beautiful and desirable women to exist, it is my absolute privilege to be within your company… our ragtag group of people are all outcasts in one way or another, you will forever have a home with us"

The elf women started sobbing and hugged Maro, they went on their tippy toes together and their dresses pulled up just a little more.

God fucking damnit, control yourself Maro. You can't be that big of a piece of shit. He thought to himself.

The hug settled, Alleria spoke up, to be frank he could only tell the difference between them by their dresses, they were perfectly alike aside from that.

"We have a second request Maro, if you would please oblige us… We do not wish to be taken ever again, we ask to bond ourselves to you and be under your personal protection"

Maro gulped, where was the alcohol when he needed it.

"What does bonding… entail?" His voice squeaked like he was going through puberty again

The ladies blushed… He didn't know which one said it but "to… lay with eachother"

Suddenly his pants were extremely uncomfortable

"When" was all he could say 

"Now" was all they replied and they slipped their dresses.

Fucking weebo virgin nerds get fucked, two damn hot elves at the same damn time.

They got their confidence back and undressed Maro as they each grabbed one of his hands and led him to the bed of furs. 

Round one went by extremely fast, he activated Bloodrush immediately for his ego's sake. He chanted a mantra in his head the rest of the day "I am a sex god, I am a sex god, I am a sex god"

Gnarlo was seething, he more or less heard everything as did everyone in the camp. That stupid giant used illegal performance enhancers… all fucking day he had to hear them doing it. He should have been the one…

The entire camp was supposed to leave today but no one dared interrupt Maro. It was late evening before he came out again. 

He went to piss and grab a bunch of wine skins before he went back inside to his tent to continue. The noise didn't die down until the early hours of the next night.

Maro was dead dead dead, not only did he go till Bloodrush drained him of his stamina, but the elves as healers, could restore stamina and health. 

Talking in between sessions they even managed to level up after one night as healers since they got experience healing and restoring Maro and each other over and over again…

The combat implications though were enormous… He had two pocket healers now, he could have probably taken on that 500 Orc tribe by himself if they were healing him and restoring stamina… They couldn't restore lost limbs or things of that magnitude, but any cut or broken bone was perfectly manageable for them.

Chapter 19

It was around noon when the camp was cleared out, the twins joined Jenny in the back of their fur and wine stuffed cart. 

Kadrin was happy, he managed to loot a well forged one handed axe that the goblins must have looted off some Dwarf warrior. 

Not only that, after all the fighting and looting they did, Kadrin and Gnarlo managed to unlock a class. Kadrin got warrior and Gnarlo got Rogue. Kadrin was noticeably beefier but not as drastic of a change as Maro went through and Gnarlo was very hard to notice even when in the same room. Maro found that if he wasn't actively paying attention to Gnarlo he would slip from his mind and just merge into the background despite using no skills at all.

Despite all that, Gnarlo was still salty, he had to sit on the opposite end of Maro with Kadrin in between them. He kept playing with his knife, pretending what it would feel like to cut off a human's private parts.

As Kadrin held the reigns, Gnarlo muttered "I was his fucking boss…he was my work bitch"

Both Kadrin and Maro forgot Gnarlo was right there for a second, what a troublesome class he unlocked.

"What did you say" they both replied

"Nothing" he waved them off

"How much longer Kadrin? Till we reach the fortress" Maro asked

"Less than a week, faster if we don't have any delays huh" he elbowed Maro and winked

Maro had a big smile on his face, he couldn't stop day dreaming. He wished he could tell his old friends from his past life about what he just did, those degenerates would appreciate it.

As the days passed, every night Maro would rush to make his tent and invite the Elves over. Maro couldn't be happier, but he was also drained… the elves had to resort to taking shifts with him so they could sleep but Maro couldn't bring himself to sleep. He had to make the most of it while it lasted. 

Every night he used blood rush, multiple times. If not for their healing ability he would be physically torn apart. After 3 days, Maro fell into a 24 hour coma, he could have died happy there. Much better death than his last one… Damn Migrants… or maybe Thank you Migrants for this opportunity.

After he woke up in the back of the wagon, looking up he saw the two elven angels and smiled. Life is absolutely perfect. 

"Is he awake finally" Kadrin yelled over his shoulder

Alleria or Valleria responded "he just woke up" as the other put a wine skin to his mouth. Maro's pants were uncomfortable again, but at least he had the mental fortitude to wait until tonight. 

"Get over here" the dwarf said

Maro never usually did this the day after, but being so happy he kissed both the elves and started climbing over the mountain of stuff they looted to jump up front.

Just before he sat down, Gnarlo threw a full force right hook to Maro's nuts. 

Maro sat down groaning, holding himself. That fucking invisible little shit.

"You're worse than any goblin I have met" Maro Groaned.

Gnarlo laughed " you slept long enough idiot, we've been waiting for you"

"Whats up" 

"The gnomes spotted something last night, it seems to be a new town that wasn't here prior to Kadrin travelling through here years ago… it looks mixed, looks like how the logging town was set up but it looks like they are doing some mining here instead"

Kadrin kissed his teeth "If the town is not run by one of us, I feel a lot of dwarves are being held and abused in the mines, no other race can keep up with the efficiency of Dwarves in a mine"

"Ok easy game plan, us three, the most famous Trio of Heroes in all the land, we deserve some ale at the inn and lets stock up on supplies… We'll get everyone to camp in the forest for now and post a guard schedule" 

Maro continued "We'll get info and take it slow, unleash Gnarlo to do whatever he wants cause no one notices him anymore"

Gnarlo was worried as per usual "you think we are going in a little bit light?"

"Are you joking, we all have classes now… worst case scenario they have one class holder this far out in the periphery of the kingdom, most likely none. We can kill everyone there just us, if we want to"

Gnarlo had only gotten one skill with his class and that was [Shadow Slip] which allowed him to move unseen and unheard in dark areas. Hell even his baseline class passive just made it super hard to notice him. 

Whereas Kadrin got two other warrior abilities that Maro did not have. He got the straightforward [Shield Bash] and his other one was [Dwarven Edge] , which increased the sharpness of any weapon he held. 

Maro had also gotten a couple of levels but no new abilities.

Ok lets stop the wagons and get everyone to post camp, lets walk on over.

Maro was a schoolboy with a crush, he kissed both Alleria and Valleria goodbye. The kissing almost got him to call it a day and pitch his own tent but he stood firm. 

Gnarlo kissed Jenny but with disdain almost. 

The Trio informed the camp of their plan and set off. 

The camp was walled off a lot better than the logging camp ever was, so much so there was only one entrance as the other side of the camp bordered the gorge that led to the mine.

They approached the guards and waved to them.

"Good sirs" Maro called out

"Halt" The guards replied. One was a human and the other was a giant 4 meter tall troll. 

"With pleasure," Kadrin replied.

Gnarlo had already slipped past the two and headed towards the inn, completely unnoticed. 

The human guard asked "purpose of visit and who are you?"

"Rest, restocking supplies and to drink a shit ton of ale, also if you have a brothel I would be inclined to go but I doubt you have one" 

Kadrin did the most unnatural and stiff wink, but everyone thought he was just weird and didn't bring it up.

This time the troll spoke up with his deep and guttural voice "4 coins"

They paid up eagerly enough and headed straight for the inn.

Again Maro had scoped out as much as he could with one quick walk from the gates to the inn.

As they busted through the doors, Gnarlo was sitting down at a table with 3 beers. The inn staff were all goblins… bad news.

Maro chugged his beer and ordered another round for the table, no one suspects people who drink to get drunk, even goblins. 

Kadrin was seething… all he could see were a couple of Beastmen patrons, a handful of Humans and a bunch of Orcs.

"This is a mine and there are no dwarfs drinking beer… they are definitely kept against their will in the mines".

"Hmmm alright Gnarlo, do your thing when it gets a bit darker outside, for now we drink and gather info" 

The three were expert drinkers and after a couple of rounds, the humans at the bar had joined them in between jokes and stories. They picked up that this was an Iron mine and that the humans were just mercenaries who guarded the wall, it was the Goatmen and the Orcs who guarded the actual mine.

The goblin overseer of the mine paid up on time and none of the mercenaries had any complaints about the work. 

They ended up admitting that they see food and water go in but no one ever came out of the time. Kadrin was angry, gave a look like he wanted to burn this entire place to the ground. 

Meanwhile Maro was just thinking how fast he could wrap up this adventure and go back to the elves asap.

Maro dropped a racist joke about Goblins to gauge their reactions…He knew the joke was funny cause Kadrin had a laughing fit.

"What animal is red, green and brown?... A goblin that's been stabbed after eating poo all day because they were told it was chocolate and they believed it cause goblins are fucking dumb"

 They had weak laughs and one guy scowled for a second… Fucking race traitors.

Without anyone noticing, Gnarlo had slipped out half way through the drinking and had just come back 

Having enough of each other's company, the mercenary guards went back to their own table. Sensitive, Maro thought.

Gnarlo took a huge gulp of ale… "It's bad, Kadrin"

"Spit it out" Kadrin spat on the floor in anger.

"They have hostages, they took a bunch of women and children and are keeping them secluded in the upper layers of the mine."

"I couldn't find the bulk of the miners as I couldn't navigate the lower levels of the mine, but I did find one and told him that to expect help soon and the spread the message"

Kadrin was clenching his jaw so tight, no wonder people say dwarves eat stone. Maro thought his teeth would explode into shrapnel at any moment.

"How many guards?"

"Not many, less than half of the prison… maybe 40 in total… but its all narrow, rocky and uneven terrain… I see why they have Goatmen guarding here. But the biggest problem is the Troll, all the spear stabbing and bolt piercing won't kill it due to their natural regeneration." Gnarlo frowned

"You think you can kill it Maro, one big sword swing, chop its head off."

"Probably not… given its height and girth… I won't be able to reach its neck for a clean cut… I have an idea though… Gnarlo you handle the Troll!" Maro said smiling like a demon 

Chapter 20

"Are you fucking serious… a gnome go handle a troll… 'Just jump on him and tell him what to do, trolls are fucking dumb'... No you are dumb Maro. Why did I ever meet him in the first place…He looks strong he can cut a lot of wood… fucking tall brainless idiot.

Gnarlo was walking in the dark, not even using his abilities because he didn't care anymore, muttering insults at Maro outloud… yet no one even glanced down at him. People kept assuming it was something in the wind…

Gnarlo had a love-hate relationship with his power, he assumed Maro and Kadrin ignored him on purpose half the time… But really if no one was actively paying attention to him they would forget he was beside them. 

He saw the gate in the distance and used his power to blend into the night and just walked up the tower overlooking the gate. The Troll had a crude hut with lots of hay to sleep on.

Trolls were incredibly dumb, giant, savage and borderline indestructible… The troll's loyalty was bought with meat and a bed. Trolls also loved to guard a commonly crossed spot and charge a commission, super territorial creatures.

He was supposed to somehow influence the troll to leave or help, all he had to do was climb on top of the troll and tell him what to do… fucking Maro. Why didn't he do it then if it was so easy.

The troll was just sitting below, drinking something from a large barrel… the other guard was just leaning on the gate, still somewhat wary of the troll. All it would take was an accident and the troll would eat you in 2 bites, no chewing. Your upper half would be alive in his stomach being digested before your legs joined you.

Gnarlo slowly climbed down, his heart was pounding… if this troll even farted he would be ripped apart. He placed one hand on its back, no reaction, he started climbing slowly, still nothing.

He got on the back of his neck and grabbed on to the wisps of hair. The Troll looked up, thinking something fell on it, Gnarlo's heart was vibrating so fast… this was the dumbest thing he ever did in his life. Now fucking what, just tell the troll what to do, how fucking stupid. He promised himself he would use his powers to punch Maro in the dick every chance he got if he survived.

Gnarlo braced himself "Hello Troll"

The Troll shifted himself and looked up and then immediately forgot

"Troll I am your brain, you have to listen to your brain"

…"Brain" the Troll responded

"If you listen to me, you will be a lot smarter and no one would make fun of you" the gnome whispered

"Who make fun of me brain!, tell or I smash you"

The troll rarely talked, only when people came in or out was he active, so this was scaring him.

The guard whimpered "What"

The Gnome seized an opportunity

"The guard made fun of you, he said you were fat and dumb… we should eat him"

Without hesitation the troll grabbed the human guard and bit him in half. Gnarlo was sick to his stomach, he could hear the human screaming as he was being swallowed… The legs came soon after.

He was in shock that this worked…

"What now brain? The troll asked

Gnarlo was too shocked to answer, he could be the chief of any gnome village… He was a Troll Tamer. He was powerful now, a troll served him… Gnarlo the Gnome King… King of gnomes and trolls…He would tell the Troll to punch Maro in the dick so hard he would never be able to satisfy his elves again, looking for a new protector they would obviously choose the Gnome King. 

The Troll was angry at being ignored and with one kick the gate fell down and the watchtower blew apart. 

Gnarlo snapped back to reality

"NOTHING NOTHING, just sit and go back to drinking"

With that, he hoped the dumb human and the fat dwarf got the signal.

Chapter 21

Boom an explosion sounded off at the front gate, the alarm needlessly started ringing. 

All the patrons inside the inn aside from Kadrin and Maro had ran outside to see what happened.

Quick Kadrin motioned, "lets clear the guards by the mine and then rescue everyone"

Maro and Kadrin took a brisk walk to the mine entrance. 

He really hoped the overseer of this mine wasn't some mage… he hated mages and goblins… both of them together was a disgusting combo.

The goatmen were guarding the uneven terrain of the ground leading up to the mine, all the orcs had been ordered to run out and check on the Troll situation.

Those dexterous grass eaters were standing on 2 cm platforms on top of the mine, no other race could do that, they had no ranged weapons and they were impossible to get to.

"Kadrin follow my lead"

Maro started making racist mocking goat sounds while pretending to be a four legged goat. 

Kadrin confused "what the hell are you…"

Just then all the goatmen jumped down pissed as hell, there were 10 of them in total. 

Kadrin joined in the racist mockery.

A goatman with fur as white as snow bleated "How narrow minded you are, racism in the Unity kingdom is against the Law, both of you are under arrest"

[Vanguard Charge] 

Booom! He charged into them killing two as his greatsword sliced in an arc, and a couple others fell back.

Just behind him was Kadrin as he used [Shield Bash] on a group of three as they were bunched up. Unprepared, the first Goatmen had his arms shattered under the force of Shield Bash, he and his 2 comrades were blown back. 

Caught off guard, the goatmen were quickly disposed of.

"Do you think Goatmen taste like goat?" Maro said

"Only one way to…"

Just then a throwing knife embedded itself into Kadrin's shield with a thud.

"Go Kadrin, I'll deal with whoever is left and I will catch up, free your people. If they think you are the hero, you might get laid" Maro gave him a thumbs up and took off to where the knife came from.

Kadrin ran in as he heard steel clash behind him.

"Fuck why did I wave him in, this guy is tough as hell" Maro clenched his teeth 

He must have been the overseer of the mine, he definitely was the warrior class. He couldn't believe how fast this goblin was with his dual short swords. 

He was seriously good, every strike slightly deflected off course or dodged completely. Nothing was landing.

Maro was getting a lot of superficial cuts… he had to find a way.

Why the hell did he tell Kadrin to run off. Maro thought about switching to his knives, but he definitely didn't have the same speed as the Goblin; it would only hasten his loss. He kept the great sword for its reach, it's the only thing that kept the Goblin at bay.

Even with bloodrush on he was barely keeping up.

Just then the Goblin stopped and stared.

Maro took advantage of the break.

"You are strong… serve my master and you will live like royalty, you'll be paid a lot of silver and all the dwarf meat you can eat"

Maro gagged a bit at the thought of eating someone as disgusting as Kadrin, he just imagined all the spitting.

"Ha! who would serve a disgusting green rapist… I would rather hug a troll's nuts after a hot day in the sun than serve such a lowly and nasty creature… could you imagine a goblin boss hahaha, like anything could get done with such a small brain "

The goblin was grinding his teeth and walking forward.

"Sorry I forgot to clarify, I would hug the trolls nuts from behind by crawling through his swampass than ever serve a small brained idiot child fucking goblin. If you're lucky an orc would keep you around as a pocket pussy"

The Goblin was mad with rage at this point, Maro heard a tooth crack. He didn't have a reason to provoke him but was just delaying till a miracle happened…

Miracle happened… Miracle come… be upon me great miracle.....

No Miracle, the goblin was out for blood, no more play time.

The goblin finally used a skill, it was some sort of charge/speed ability…the shortsword fully pierced his shoulder, the second one pierced his side… the goblin was seething and frothing at the mouth in anger. 

The Goblin was standing on Maro's Hips holding onto his swords, they were face to face… Disgusting green spit from the goblin was splashing his face, it smelt like redigested shit. Maro wasn't drunk but he had drunk a bunch, just then he vomited all over the goblins face.

How do you like that you shit goblin.

The Goblin reeled back, the stomach acid greatly irritating the goblin's eyes, it let go of his shortswords to jump off.

Seizing the opportunity, Maro bearhugged the temporarily blinded Goblin and did what he did best… [Vanguard Charge]

He exploded the goblin against the rocky wall. Boom, blood and guts everywhere… Maro being the idiot that he was, ended up embedding the swords deeper into himself and fell on the floor. 

As he was passing out, he saw Kadrin running out of the cave with many dwarves armed with pickaxes and shovels behind him. 

Kadrin saw him and ran to him, as he knelt down to check on Maro he spat really close to Maro's head. 'Fucking disgusting Maro thought'

With his last bit of energy, he managed to say "The swords inside me and… whatever the goblin had is my loot" and he passed out. 

Maro had leveled up again, but he found out how to put his notice system on 'Do not Disturb"

Chapter 22

After hearing that, he knew Maro was gonna be fine… now he had to find Gnarlo and see how much damage that idiot had done.

Kadrin instructed two of the healthier miners to make a makeshift stretcher and carry Maro.

As they climbed out of the mouth of the mine, they saw that the entire outpost was leveled and on fire…

"What in the stone's greasy fuck happened here?

His question was answered, he saw Gnarlo on top of the Troll tossing Orc and human bodies into the big bonfire where the inn used to be.

Gnarlo was talking to his new Troll pet.

"You see Rolf, fire makes the meat taste way better… your brain is smart so that makes you smart now… Rolf you are the smartest Troll to ever exist"

"Brain is right, Rolf will always listen to Brain, Rolf was scared of fire, but fire good"

Gnarlo noticed Kadrin and everyone else and got Rolf to walk on over.

"Hello my Trolless friends… looks like the rescue went smooth"

He then saw Maro on the stretcher and hid his smile behind the Trolls head… hehe the elves are mine. How can you say no to the Troll tamer…

"Oh no, what happened to Maro" he said in a sarcastic tone

Sensing the insincerity in Gnarlo's voice, the heavens intervened and Maro woke up for a second… just to say "go suck an orc cock you short bastard, the elves will never be touched by you" and he passed out again. 

Gnarlo laughed, two swords in him and he won't give up…

"Alright Rolf, the foods done you can eat all the bodies in that pile"

Kadrin led the way, not much surprised him anymore. His time since meeting Maro was nothing ordinary… He had been arrested for hate speech, broke out, got laid for the first time in a hundred years, broke in and out of this work camp and now Gnarlo had a Troll as a pet…

Kadrin felt a bit guilty… he could have gotten to Maro's side a bit faster but he was distracted by a fine pair of Dwarf lady legs… Poor woman who was stuck torso first in a partial collapse of some wooden framing. Kadrin had to use his hips as leverage to get her unstuck, She was really, really, really grateful to be unstuck…

It was past midnight when they reached camp, they would take stock of everything tomorrow during the day… He was tired.

Maro was dropped off at his tent, where Alleria and Valeria immediately went to heal him and take out the swords embedded into his flesh. After fully healing him they restored his stamina as well and Maro woke up.

After almost dying but not really, he was in the mood…

"I promised you ladies I would come back tonight" he winked 

Valleria or Alleria responded, He still couldn't tell them apart… not like it mattered.

"You almost died, Maro, please rest up, we'll do the work" she whispered into his ear, while kissing his neck… as the other one straddled him.

Meanwhile Gnarlo was introducing Jenny and all the other Gnomes to Rolf and going about how he was King of the gnomes before being pelted with some rotten fruit.

He ordered Rolf to sleep, pissed off he went to his tent with Jenny. He felt better when Jenny finally agreed to call him the Gnome King, Tamer of Trolls before they had their weird human/gnome sexual relations. 

Chapter 23 

Maro woke up at noon, after almost dying nothing was better than sleeping with two hot elf twins… but weebs will never understand that feeling.

They had to gun it to the Dwarf fortress, if they end up liberating one more place they would have to leave stuff behind, they didn't have enough carts to carry all the emaciated and wounded… A bunch of people still hadn't recovered from the prison break and now they took on another hundred hungry dwarves.

Maro refused to give up his wagon for the wounded, that was for the Trio and their women and their loot… and their booze. They were overflowing with valuable stuff, after liberating the mine, they got another couple months of food and a bunch barrels of shitty beer. They were net positive on alcohol accumulation somehow.

Maro looked at the two shortswords beside him, his loot… they were not made of any steel he was familiar with, they had a blueish tinge, which his Elf partners told him was Mithril. Blades made for a real warrior, he got rid of his daggers and sheathed the short swords.

Aside from that, the Goblin overseer didn't have much else on him except for some coins, which he threw into his chest.

Old man Kadrin made out like a bandit however, turns out it was a silver mine, hence all the guards and the imprisonment of the dwarves. He looted a full chest of silver bars that wished to go towards developing the ancient Dwarf fortress. 

With the amount of silver and copper the group had looted they had enough to fund the budget of a small city for a month. It would go a long way to developing their own mini kingdom.

And with Gnarlo having tamed Rolf, they now had their heavy calvary and Gnarlo was declared the strongest Gnome to ever exist by his Gnomish colleagues… Let's say he was happy.

Maro still couldn't completely believe that Gnarlo had convinced Rolf that he was 100% his brain and that most trolls were missing theirs. He didn't think he would take his joke seriously… he expected Gnarlo to start a fire or something and then slip away with his ability. Maybe he deserved to get stabbed.

The majority of their forces now were dwarves… 

Turns out the spitting was just Kadrin being disgusting and it wasn't common for dwarves to spit every 5 min.

Maro checked his stats, they were higher and he was level 9… Frankly he didn't care anymore about levels. What did being level 9 even mean, the deity never explained shit to him, meanwhile Kadrin and Gnarlo leveled at a fraction of a fraction of his pace. They were both still only level 1, even after everything.

But in this world, just unlocking a class puts you in the top 5%.

Maro had his breakfast beer then went to join Kadrin and Gnarlo quickly to discuss the future.

"You are the sole reason we aren't at the fortress yet you giant human shit stain" Kadrin said as he handed him another beer.

"I get it, I've been busy with the Elves and Gnarlo's been busy with his new Troll wife hahaha"

Gnarlo threw a rock at Maro's head which he caught and dropped.

"Lets get to business, how far away from the fortress are we for real, I promise to make good time going forward" 

Kadrin replied "Two full days of travel"

Gnarlo looked at the noon sun… "lets start tomorrow, it's already mid day because of the sex addict… besides I need to fashion some sort of harness for Rolf… grabbing onto his fatfolds and giant warts is not the most pleasant thing to touch."

"Yeah you should make a harness for Jenny too so you can hold on, Short King" with that he ran away full speed as rocks and insults were being pelted at him from behind.

Finally safe, Maro went to test out his new swords in a clearing not far from the camp. His Warrior Legacy perk kind of ruined the fun for him, because he was already doing incredibly difficult maneuvers instinctually… Maro gave up on practice and succumbed to his thirst for alcohol and his elves. 

On his way to his tent… he thought of something… what would happen if I use [War Cry] during sex with the elves. The Immediate boost in adrenaline could be repurposed…

He grabbed some picnic supplies, furs for the ground and the elves. Under the premise of a date he grabbed the ladies and took them quite a way so no one else could hear his war cry.

Valleria and Alleria were excited to go on a picnic, a bit relieved he didn't just want sex after all night, last night. They were worried they bonded to a sex maniac for a minute… not that they didn't enjoy it, they just wanted to be able to walk around one day a week without shaky legs.

Maro had taken them to a beautiful and secluded valley that was just lush with flowers, they laid the furs down by a small creek and started to eat, drink, and enjoy each other's company. 

Valleria and Alleria looked at Maro, their hair shining pink in the sun and their emerald eyes glistening, they were happy for a peaceful moment together. 

Meanwhile Maro was acting like a Weeb who was told he can go to his computer once he finished eating dinner. He scarfed down his food and inhaled his drink… he gave them a look.

They looked at each other and then all around them to make sure they were alone, when they looked back, Maro was already naked with Bloodrush active.

To them it was never not an impressive sight, he was tall, muscular, well endowed and he didn't judge them… as they started to undress Maro used [Warcry]... immediately adrenaline started pumping…

On the way back, it was Maro whose legs were weak this time. He was absolutely assaulted by the two women, he couldn't even keep up with [Bloodrush]. The Ladies were so dumbstruck by their most recent session that they forgot to heal Maro. He was covered in deep scratches and bite marks all over, he decided that warcry was only for special occasions. 

Chapter 24

Wooooooooow, fortress was right. It was massive and built into the side of a mountain, there was no worry of space or defensive capability. Dwarven craftsmanship was remarkable, this ancient fortress stood proud, not a stone out of place, The gates were massive and somehow made of stone as well. In fact, you might need a troll to push it open, luckily it was open, the chains operating the door mechanism were broken… Lucky us.

"Wow ten thousand people could easily fit into this fortress and still be spacious" Maro said

They decided to camp outside of the fortress, so they could clear it, ensure it was safe.

"The last time I was here was over a century ago…" Kadrin pondered. "Built during the ancient Dwarven Empire, survived and passed down the generations through the era of Petty Kings… to be abandoned once the Demon Lord came…now probably infested with fucking Goblins. I will make this my life mission to restore at least one part of my culture." 

He continued " the funny thing is… this would be considered a mid tier fortress, the ancient capital was said to be entirely trimmed in pure white marble, from the servants quarters to the Emperors throne… such a shame"

Kadrin had a heavy heart, from the most powerful race to exist on the continent to being forced into manual labour in the mines to survive, treated as second class citizens to their ancient enemies. Looking at the massive gates, he was hopeful. 

"Amen" Maro whispered

"Yeah, you do like men" Gnarlo, shocking everyone from behind as they all forgot about him again. 

Kadrin spit on the floor with a stern chuckle

"You know this place best Kadrin… hows the layout and how many men would we need to clear it" Maro looked at him 

"Hmmm it's larger than you think, records indicate it could house 50 thousand in siege situations so at least 20k could comfortably live here during peace… We don't have the people to occupy the entire fortress, we aren't even going to try to patrol the entire place, a recipe for our guys to be picked off… Lets start with securing the courtyard and the first floor"

Kadrin was making a crude drawing in the dirt "Dwarves are logical if anything, each floor should be very clearly marked and symmetrical…looks like it goes almost 100 metres up the mountain, around 15-20 floors up and who knows how deep it goes. We start with the courtyard and the first floor, they are the largest and most easily defendable. Once cleared, we can dish out rooms to everyone and start fixing this place up slowly…"

Dwarf's were excellent at making siege resistant castles, every floor had one large easily defendable and sealable stairway up or down, every floor would be a gruelling fight in case of war. 

"If that's the case… if we're going slow, let's clear the courtyard with all our men… immediately issue guard details, give people time to bring everything in. Clear the first floor with 25 men, we'll post guards and barricades to the sub levels… work our way on clearing what's above us so no-one gets to throw rocks on top of us or ambush us and then eventually we go down until every floor is ours" Maro explained as he was pointing at the crude maps.

"Thats all well and good from a safety perspective… but all the good shit is underground… Only guards and peasants lived above, I know for a fact there is still an industrial distillery down a level or two… also the lords and petty kings of this fortress would have their chambers at least 10 floors under ground… The older the fortress the deeper it went."

Maro bit his tongue… "An industrial distillery… Treasure… Sorry Kadrin, I am tempted but the upper floors are a dangerous unknown… if it was just for peasants and guards we should clear it out for housing space anyways for the future"

They lined up 100 Dwarves, shields up and marched through the gate… nothing in the courtyard… It was vast, if the ground wasn't solid granite, they would have been able to lay down farms.

Even though the courtyard gates were open, the first floor gates were not… It took one punch from the troll to bust it open… and again nothing.

After exploring the entirety of the first floor, all they could find was old Goblin activity and there was evidence going up and down.

They quickly barricaded the stairs going down and set up a temporary guard post in the building closest to the stairs. They set up another guard post at the stairs going up and went back to clearing out every room on the first floor.

It was large to say the least, they were almost 400-500 people as a group now, more than half were women and children. They could comfortably live in the massive courtyards in tents if they wanted, but after everything everyone had gone through… your own house/room seemed like a dream.

They sorted out all their supplies in a warehouse in the courtyard, let everyone pick out places for themselves and got to prepare a feast for tonight.

Maro chose a large noble's house for him and his Elf lady friends and Maro actually went to help everyone with the feast preparations. But in reality he was just taking stock of the beer and wine left… a month tops… fuck. Whatever, that was a future Maro problem.

That night was the first time in a long time people were able to relax, they ate their fill and drank till they passed out.

Gnarlo and Maro even saw Kadrin take home a nice Dwarven lady and with that the party started wrapping up. The devious two were taking bets on how many times Kadrin said "aye" trying to court that woman.

"Thank fuck for stone walls and doors" Maro said to the Elves as he walked them 'home' with his arm around each one… still smiling like the devil himself.

Chapter 25

It took 3 weeks to clear the upper portion of the fortress… turns out there were two tribes of Goblins who had taken over the fortress.

Forest goblins, who were less numerous and weaker, had taken over the highest levels of the fortress and cave goblins had taken over the lower levels. To say they were tribes was an understatement, there were thousands of these savage goblins, with one in one thousand having a class unlock.

It was non stop brutal siege warfare the entire time… thankfully they had two class healers who kept casualties non existent.

The cave goblins from the bottom levels were held off by the Dwarf spearmen and Gnome crossbow teams. Kadrin and Gnarlo were on that front leading them… every night, for the last two and a half weeks, those goblins tried pouring through blockaded stairs… Maro's planning had saved them the second night as the Guardpost called for help right away, while holding the initial wave back.

On the other end, Maro and his swordsmen were human tornadoes of slicing and dicing… with no Orcs around even an average human with a sword could mow down the goblins. The mobility of the swordsmen was their advantage in some of these tight corners, dwarf spears would have had trouble. 

Maro's anger for the goblins grew to impossible heights, he swore a blood oath, he swore to whoever would listen to him that every single goblin would die in this fortress. Every time he did, he earned the endearment of the Dwarves. These fucking goblins were impeding on his sex and drinking time… Alleria and Valeria were exhausted every day healing casualties and whenever they had a small moment for a quickie there would be another alarm.

In his blue balled rage, Maro stomped on baby Goblin skulls as their mothers would watch. Every night he would take the strongest goblins alive and torture them and then nail their mutilated bodies at the edge of whatever area they cleared. The Dwarves seeing his fury and utter destruction of the forest goblins, only deepened their devotion to him, as ancient enemies their ancestors were, for once, not rolling in their graves. 

Over the course of 3 weeks of fighting Maro had leveled up quite a bit, which made him even madder… The fucking deity had locked his specialised warrior class selection and picked for him… was selecting his initial class all an illusion… did she know he would go warrior?

He could have been a Death Knight, a Blood Knight, a Berserker, a Mounted heavy armour specialist, a god damn Gladiator and much more… but this fucking deity trolled him.

She made him a 'White Knight', someone who valued equality and dealt out justice for all wherever he went… operated by a chivalric and holy code… a paragon of virtue… servant to the divine… a fucking Paladin…

He was a Paladin at level 3 now… and he basically had holy magic damage added to his base warrior skills. He got a small healing ability called [Light Heal] and a large area of affect aura that slightly damaged enemies, increased armour and imbued holy damage into the weapons of his allies, called [Consecrated Ground]

What fucking stupid support abilities with 0 applicability for sex, aside from a heal. 

[Light Heal] helped keep his men from going back to the first floor to get healed by the elves at the temporary aid station. But consecrated ground was useless, regular humans could easily slice through goblins so the damage aspect was useless and the armour aspect was even more so, the wood and stone weapons of the Forest Goblin didn't do much to pierce their leather armour. 

Ha 'A paragon of virtue' my ass Maro thought. As the last goblin men on the top floor of the fortress were dying… he looked at the cowering female goblins and their children. Deprived of alcohol and sex, his war criminal side had taken over, he motioned for his men to slay them all and they gladly did.

 Some humans wouldn't have agreed with his actions, but the ones under his command knew the truth that the Council of the Unity Kingdom was hiding. The periphery of the kingdom received nothing in aid and everything was stripped to go back to the local lords, all Order races were second class citizens at best if they weren't actively betraying their own. These men had seen the true nature of the green fucks, rape, eating people raw, theft, torture and being worked to death… all these crimes were just hidden under a superficial veneer the farther out you went.

He anticipated that the order races in the cities were oblivious to the truth or were active race traitors… luckily he didn't give a fuck about the people in the major cities.

Maro hadn't found much value for himself and his swordsmen in the upper floors. Most of it was just extra living space and storage warehouses… however they did find an ancient dwarf armoury… enough to equip hundreds of dwarves in the traditional heavy plate armour, fancy ornate Dwarf shields and Spears made out of solid metal… 

To Maro most of that stuff was useless to him and his Swordsmen, it didn't fit and they were his special forces, they needed flexibility to either fight side by side or individually, they needed to be quiet when the situation arose and the vanguard in other situations. Some of the Swordsmen added a one handed dwarf axe to their arsenal, but Maro did not allow any who did not unlock their class to use 2 handed weapons aside from himself for the most part. They weren't strong enough to be nimble with it, they would just ruin his formations.

However, this armour, to the Dwarves was like finding a holy relic. Dwarves worshipped their ancestors and when presented with the opportunity to wear the ancient armour, a lot of them wept. It had been a long time since the Dwarves Glory years… Many of the dwarves swore oaths of vengeance and to restore the Dwarves to their former status. 

Kadrin even swore a blood oath to Maro when he saw the armour, claiming it was destiny that he met him to help restore the order races. To Maro it was just extra life after death and he was going to whore, fight and drink his way to his second death, so he accepted Kadrin's oath… But Maro was excited to have a true heavy front line in the finest heavy plate armour and solid steel spears… heavy stuff… but nothing a dwarf couldn't handle. 

These Dwarves would be his elite line, they would be the frontline to push the never ending horde of Cave Goblins back in the next stage of Maro's plan.

Chapter 26

Finally he and his swordsmen could rest a bit, they tried to clear as fast as they could to stop a 2 front war… but offense was a lot more tiring… 16 hours every day he and his 25 men would kill dozens of goblins each, every day for weeks. Maro would kill all the ones that unlocked classes but even his swordsmen could deal with the classes if they outnumbered them.

 After all that fighting, only 2 of his swordsmen unlocked the warrior class…good enough to promote 2 lieutenants but man, it was tough for the local population to level up. He couldn't rely on that to get his army stronger. 

The dwarves and gnomes technically didn't have it easier as the cave goblins would run assaults on mass at irregular intervals and hours, but they would come in force and break upon the shields of the dwarf line every time.

Their inability to organize their goblin archers and slings, just let all their projectiles bounce off the dwarf shields. The dwarves let the goblin bodies lay where they fell to act as an obstacle but those Goblins, hungry, would just steal the bodies to eat for themselves.

After that the Dwarves would set fire to the corpses where they lay. The Fire would act as a temporary deterrent so people could rest, get treatment and eat… Luckily they were on the first floor and had plenty of ventilation…

Maro had woken up from his one night off before he had to tackle clearing the floors underground. Still no action… Maro was never in such a bad mood his entire life… he had gotten used daily, multi hour, performance enhanced threesomes. He had never had more fun having sex and now he was an addict going cold turkey.

He grabbed three beers and brought them out to a campfire in the courtyard. There Kadrin and Gnarlo were already talking and drinking their own beer… Maro had brought three breakfast beers for himself, he needed it to take the blue ball edge off… mass murder and alcohol only did so much to relieve it. 

Kadrin was outfitted in his new Heavy Plate, boy did these guys look amazing. The armor was ebony in colour with a silver trim with matching shields and spears. The plate armour was for regular guards posted on the upper floors, but it was more intricate than anything a master craftsmen could make in the cities. Truly a lost art… Beautiful and completely solid, all the dwarves were excited to lead the offensive down into the depths. Nothing the Goblins could throw at them would even scratch that armour.

"From the old shitty drunk innkeep to a dwarf warrior of legend, how does it feel?" Maro asked as he chugged his first beer. 

"Haha, jokes aside. 300 years of life and only just now do I feel like I am living a life worth living…" Kadrin was solemn. 

Gnarlo mocked him "come back to me when you get crowned the king of your race… I'm the only real royalty around"

"You ride the nuts of a giant troll, you stand one rank above Troll pubes" Maro teased.

Kadrin choked laughing on his beer and then spat on the floor.

Maro was a bad influence on them, the three of them had become certifiable alcoholics with 0 draw back. Healing spells refreshed the liver so no liver damage. 

"Guys time to get serious… we have less than a week of drink left. How fast can we get that distillery up and running once we clear the floor" Concern was on Maro's face

"Depends if the equipment is damaged, if there are enough hops and barley within the surrounding area for beer or do we use our wheat supplies to make distilled Dwarf Water because there are no potatoes in the area that's for sure"

Gnarlo savoured the last drop of his beer "It seems like we'll have to go to a City to procure supplies regardless… not like we can start a farm here… the land outside the courtyard is really suitable for farming but crops would take months to grow"

"Gnarlo, Kadrin, do you guys know of anything we can use in the surrounding area to help out our problem?"

Gnarlo piped up interrupting Kadrin "Before I came to the logging camp, I was a trader for a good decade in the southeast portion of the kingdom… there is a famous vineyard that has supply contracts with a lot of the nobility across the kingdom, that I delivered for on occasion… It's human run and owned… technically we have enough silver to buy months of wine"

"Perfect, wine is healthy for you anyways, Gnarlo you take 20 swordsmen, as much silver as we need to buy around 3 months supply so we can use the time to get the Industrial brewery up and running" Maro ordered

"How dare you order the King of the Gnomes around, I will make Rolf eat you if you don't address me with respect" Gnarlo thundered with an air of authority

"Okay how about you take some time away from your troll, you have been smelling like Troll ass lately" Kadrin roared "And leave Rolf guarding the front gate, you will bring too much attention if he comes with you"

Gnarlo was sensitive about looking and smelling nice, he sniffed himself quickly and just headed out, throwing up obscene gestures towards the other two.

"Finally now that Captain Ballsack is gonna be gone for the week, let's get started on pushing the cave goblins back and securing the first basement. Within a week lets try to clear to the fifth basement level"

Maro wanted to stay as support this time around, so he could heal the minimal injuries the dwarves would get and then run back up at night to see Alleria and Valleria, enough was enough with the blue balls. All Maro planned to do was keep his Consecrated ground skill on, heal occasionally, use warcry and issue orders.

Chapter 27

"Forward!" Kadrin yelled.

The beautifully armoured and physically impressive line of spearmen stepped forward in unison with a grunt. They were lined up two rows deep, fifty men long… The underground part of the fortress was much more vast and grand than the upstairs. 

Where upstairs Twenty five men in a loose formation could cover every floor, downstairs fifty heavily armoured dwarves could stand side by side on one of the roads.

The cave goblins were much much more numerous, it felt like they were in the tens of thousands… clearing the under levels would take a lot longer than he anticipated… but it was easy work. The spear line just needed to take a step and each Dwarf would pierce multiple goblins at a time. 

The scene reminded Maro of a Woodchipper, goblins were run ragged into the shield wall, usually filled with spear holes and torn apart. Constantly being pierced and flung off the spears… The armour did wonders… still not even one casualty and the weight of thousands of goblins couldn't even stop the dwarves from their methodical forward march. 

Kadrin was front and centre, refusing to switch out his spot in the line, carrying the weight of his Oath.

Too slow Maro thought…

"Fire" he yelled, the gnomes launched a volley… but there was only so much 50 crossbows could do against thousands of Goblins

They had already cleared the industrial brewery on the first sub level, they just needed to clear the rest of the 1st sublevel and set up a new guard post at the next set of stairs down. 

His timeline was blown out of the water… 3 days and just now they were almost done with the first floor… he still hadn't enjoyed any alone time with the Elves yet.

[Warcry] the sound was even louder as it reverberated underground.

The Goblins all froze in place for a second in fear… Some ran away… a couple even died of heart attacks. But the safety in numbers allowed them to regain their composure a bit, until the Dwarves lost their shit.

They had practiced it a little bit, but watching it in its warcry fueled Glory was the Art of War.

In unison the front line stabbed their spears forward in an anger fueled adrenaline rush, just as they were going to retract their spears the second line stabbed from behind. They did not let up, there was less than a second between spear thrusts… the Goblins could not even reach the dwarves to hit them.

The marching of the dwarves never stopped. Stab stab… step forward… Stab stab… step forward. Kadrin, using his new found strength, he himself was stabbing two to three goblins with each strike, their metal spears cutting through them like they were warm butter. 

Even the firing rate of the gnomes increased, they were on fire at will, firing twice as fast than they would without Warcry.

And with that last shout, it took less than 30 minutes to completely clear the first sublevel… They immediately dumped as much debris and goblin bodies down the stairs and established fortifications. 

While the orders were issued, they decided to check out the brewery quickly… it was in perfect shape. Dwarves did not spare any expense with breweries or distilleries, all metal piping, solid metal drums and barrels as tall and thick as Rolf to store everything. 

Kadrin had even found various seeds in a chest for Hops, barley and seeds for other herbs to flavour the beer… who knows how long these seeds were stored for, but they looked fresh. Kadrin noticed runes on the chest which roughly translated to Freshness… Dwarf magic. Of course the race that least used magic would use whatever magical talent they had for making alcohol. 

Before the guard post at sub level one was established they had camp volunteers who used to be farmers already start planting the seeds they needed. Finally a new effort the non-combatants could put their energy towards.

Now that all that was settled, he couldn't handle it anymore.

He went to the aid station that was set up on the first floor, looked at Valleria and Alleria and just said "now".

He kicked in the door of the closest unoccupied home and was naked before Alleria and Valleria could close it behind them.

After the weeks of fighting Maro looked a little feral, the ladies were just as excited. They cast stamina buffs on Maro as he was undressing them with both hands and his mouth.

He pushed his body to the absolute limit that night, bloodrush was active for a full 8 hours, barely being kept alive with heals and stamina buffs. He also kept using Warcry to keep the high intensity going all night, he suffered more damage that night than the last weeks of fighting.

The ladies had run out of mana half way through the night, a piece of Maro's ear was bitten off by Valeria, Alleria had bit all the way through his bottom lip, he was scratched to shit everywhere. It looked like a vampire orgy or something, but it was a satisfying night all around. It hit the spot.

Turns out all the healing Valleria and Alleria were doing non stop since they met Maro had actually let them level up considerably and in the morning they both found out they unlocked a further speciality of their base class.

Due to their Elven upbringing, they both were assigned the nature based specialisation, Druid. Their healing ability increased and was based in nature magic, while Maro's was holy magic. They had an affinity for nature and plants which could help them develop and grow, which would in turn help with the brewery. 

Their main abilities however were to transform into an animal they had a connection to… both of them could turn into large predatory cats… … …

He hated furries, he was not going to do that. Fucking furries. But at the same time, they could control and pause their transformation at any point. They ended up stopping halfway somewhere, they looked like Catbeastmen women people… whatever. He didn't know if furries had a classification scale and he wasn't going to find out.

But Alleria and Valleria insisted on trying as their senses got a lot sharper as Cat Ladies, the fur on their ears and tails turned pink like their original hair.

Maro had to admit they looked exotic and alluring, their perfect bodies were still undressed, the cat eyes were sexy but the most potent thing about them was that they could release pheromones now. Just one whiff and Maro was a drooling meathead, this amused Alleria and Valleria to no end, they practiced manipulating Maro for a while until his one track mind couldn't take the teasing anymore. He instinctually activated bloodrush and warcry at the same time… he was fucked.

Being half beasts, warcry got to them on an instinctual level. Their new claws and teeth absolutely shredded Maro, they clawed his face in ecstasy. By the end of it Maro's tongue was half bit off, one eye was completely gone, he lost a finger or two, and his muscle fibres were visible in all the deep gashes all over his body. It took a while to heal him back up. 

New rule, no warcry and beast transformation at the same time. Putting his clothes back on, he wondered what Captain Troll Nuts was up too.

Chapter 28

"No fuck you, I'm not waiting any longer, its been over a day of negotiating. I have to be back in a couple of days before some Gnome usurper tries to steal my Troll… You are talking to the King of the Gnomes, Tamer of Trolls. Suck my Gnome nutsack" Gnarlo was furious

He had come to negotiate in good faith with his old contact at the Nuros Vinyard, he had 0 plan to steal anything he just wanted to buy something. But apparently to keep brand value high, they refused to sell to him since he wasn't nobility.

Adam was the middle aged caretaker of the Vinyard for the Nuros family. He lived a merchant's life before settling at the vineyard… Greying hair from stress, sharp features and middling height for a human.

Adam had a soft spot for Gnarlo but rules were rules, and walking around claiming to be King of Gnomes and tamer of trolls was just ridiculous. He obviously thought he was just trying to get some wine for a discount.

"Listen Gnarlo, I can't sell you anything. Every barrel ready now, is already set to be sent to a buyer, I've told you this already, I have no spare stock and even if I did, the sale wouldn't be approved without some sort of proof of Nobility"

"You said that but you have shipments ready to be sent to Goblins, Orcs and Beastmen… Those savages will never appreciate the wine properly as it was meant to, let me take over their stock" Gnarlo retorted

"Woah woah woah, shut your mouth… You can't speak like that, it's not right. I can't believe you said that… I have Goblin friends Gnarlo… you can go to a re-education camp for that talk buddy, I don't want to see you get arrested" Adam was concerned

"You spineless cuck, do you remember what happened to your first wife?"

Adam's first wife and childhood best friend was kidnapped by Orcs and brutally assaulted over the course of a couple days until she died… The Orcs were arrested and then released back into the custody of Friendly tribes in the outskirts of the kingdom. It was a sore spot for Adam.

"How fucking dare you bring that up, how are you so closed minded that you think all Orcs are alike. I'm going to have to ask you to leave, guards escort him out"

The giant Bearmen guards moved forward.

"Race traitor… I'm gonna get my wine one way or another and Im gonna fuck your second wife too, you fucking cuck" Gnarlo yelled as he ran out.

Adam was deeply disappointed in his old friend, he had lost his path and didn't believe that every race had a right to self determination like the teachings of the Unity Kingdom stated. 

Within 10 minutes Adam had already forgotten that Gnarlo had visited him. 

Gnarlo never left, he just started wondering about the vineyard, trying to find a way to load the carts with the wine barrels without anyone noticing.

He knew Adam's wife Elizabeth from back in his traveling days, from what he remembered she was a lot more reasonable than Adam and her previous boyfriend was a Gnome. Two birds one stone… race traitor cuck, he thought. 

After wandering around for a little bit, completely unnoticed by the workers and the Bearmen guards, he saw Elizabeth having a little picnic by herself in a clearing in between the grape vines. She was drinking tea and eating sweets.

In Gnarlo's memory, she was a black haired beauty with soul dark eyes and a charm that could befriend the nastiest of people

The closer he got, he realized that she was a morbidly obese woman stuffing her face with snack cakes… 

He cleared his throat

"Oh Gnarlo is that you, its been forever" she exclaimed as she hugged him tight and choked him out with her cleavage" Gnarlo… got a little turned on

"Oh Elizabeth, how beautiful you look. I was wondering if you could help me out with something"

"Why else would you be here… what do you want Gnarlo" she snapped as she bit down on a piece of cake

What was going on Gnarlo thought, why was he liking this… maybe he spent too much time as the Trolls brain, fuck it. 

"I was here to ask you to help me buy some wine since Adam is being a dick head but now that I am here and looking at how beautiful you are… are you interested in a little bit of fun" he winked 

She licked the cake off her lips "Oh my, my snacks usually don't talk back" she replied with a smile full of cake 

"How bout this, if you impress me, I'll get you the wine for free, we'll just say it was stolen if we're caught, it will be between you and me" She seductively bit down on a cookie 

"Don't try me Elizabeth, I am the King of Gnome's, this will definitely be your pleasure" he got a running start and jumped into her cleavage

Gnarlo had lost consciousness multiple times during their tomfoolery, Elizabeth not noticing he would go unconscious as she was on top, just kept on enjoying herself. Meanwhile, Gnarlo needed a hip replacement as soon as possible. 

When he was conscious he had an internal therapy discussion on why he was attracted to tall women and now big women. But after it was all said and done Elizabeth was true to her word.

She diverted a shipment meant for a big Orc chief, and replaced it with freshly stomped on grape juice. The orc probably wouldn't even notice the difference. Gnarlo had his carts loaded by his men and left out the back with a 3 month supply of wine.

Gnarlo couldn't even sit down on the cart, he had to lay amongst the wine barrels cause his hip bones turned to dust. It was a good mission all in all, he kept the silver and got the wine. He laid there thinking about the Elf healers and them casting spells on his hip area. He laughed thinking about how jealous that inbred giant Maro would be. 

Chapter 29

"Why did you heal me, you ass wipe" Gnarlo snapped at Maro

"Why wouldn't I heal you, you are my friend and a part of the world famous Trio gang ahaha" Maro knew exactly what Gnarlo wanted

"Why don't you go catch up with Jenny? She really missed you Captain Troll Nuts"

Gnarlo walked off in anger "You're just a hair smarter than my Troll, dumbass"

Maro laughed "Great mission Gnarlo, wonderful job on the wine and coin"

"You have no idea" he yelled back

Maro didn't even want to inquire how Gnarlo broke his hips, but no way was he going to let Alleria and Valeria have their hands hover over that area for extended time while he was getting healed. 

Taking a wine skin, Maro decided to do the rounds and walk around the perimeter while drinking… Damn fine wine he thought. 

It took Kadrin 2 days to get the Brewery ready to go, now they just had to wait on the ingredients to grow and with two nature based healers spreading nature energy over the fields, all the plants had sprouted.

With a buzz going on already, he took a look at the fields off the top of the front gate… We planted no food. Talk about oversight…

He made a mental note to have food planted as he walked down to the fields to see how the new farmers were doing.

He was deeply loved by all the people he liberated, he shared some words with them, tossed his wine skin around to the farmers so they could have a taste before they went to drink after work… fuck they should have planted grapes… He made another mental note

Progress on clearing the lower levels was completely stalled at sublevel 1. They didn't even try once the brewery was secure, they were all worried about not being able to drink until today.

All the dwarves claimed Maro was an honorary one. He was the only human they met that cared about drinking as much as they did, not only that he could drink with the best of them.

Now that the wine was here, they would probably all get drunk tonight and start the offensive again tomorrow in proper Dwarf fashion. 

Boy were all the beer related crops growing fast, he really regretted not having grape seeds if they could grow that fast…

Rounds done, he headed back inside but before he did, he grabbed a barrel of wine off of one of the wagons and gave it to Rolf.

Trolls were the perfect guards… when he first saw a Troll he thought bigger and more stupid Orc. But Rolf surprised him everyday, as long as everyone respected he was in charge of the stone doors he was nice to them. 

One other surprise was, Trolls had horrible tolerances to alcohol. That barrel of wine was enough to get him black out and keep him happy everyday for a week. 

Maro finished with his rounds, went to the top of the walls one more time and looked at the sunset. With Maro's most immediate fear of alcohol withdrawal gone, he was genuinely happy with his life right now. 

He had his wineskin, he was going home to his Elf lady friends and then waging war when he woke up. It was like he was in Valhalla or something and not in the hell that was meant to punish him. He looked up to the sky, called the deity a sexy voiced pain in the ass and poured one out for her and he started walking home… stopped, he turned back around and said if you want to do some ASMR stuff please do… he waited a second… no response… he continued on his way home.

He was a bit drunk by the time he got home, so he wasn't sure if he felt a surge of holy energy or not.

The Deity was pissed, she hated him. He was immature, stupid and a mortal… But with her divine sight, she could see everything he did… everything… and she was just a little curious.

Chapter 30

"Forward!"

[Consecrated Ground]

[War Cry]

It was bloody battle after bloody battle, well bloody for the Goblins. The completely armoured dwarves took no damage, added armour increase from consecrated ground and the imbued weapon damage, they were sliding through the savage goblin hordes like butter.

Kadrin was making the most of his strength, he could fully wield his spear with two impaled goblins on it.

Maro wanted to get in on the fight and just cleave the shit out of Goblins with his greatsword or just become a tornado of death with his twin swords… but he would fuck up the formation.

"Fire" he ordered again and again, losing his patience. 

Clearing out the under levels was steady but too slow… if they could field 3 lines of spears, it would go faster, if he had quadruple the Gnome crossbow men, it would go faster… heck if they could convince Rolf to go downstairs he could just walk through all of them…

Maro's mind was running fast, trying to find out anything to speed this up..

It had been almost 2 weeks and they were only about to clear Sub level 5. 

However… they had been finding treasure after treasure the deeper they went. His greed was especially satiated… they were lucky the Cave Goblins were a lot more savage then their other cousins and didn't really understand what silver/gold were, how to deal with the simple locks on some well preserved buildings and they found another armoury that was locked tight. Which took them two days to break through.

Inside was even more ornate dwarf armour… nothing that fit Humans or Gnomes. The even more ornate armour was decided to be only worn by dwarves who unlocked their classes. So including Kadrin there were 4 dwarves total wearing new armour. In contrast to the Ebony with Ivory trim the new armour had red metal with gold trim. They looked absolutely intimidating.

Maro looked down at his old shit leather and chain mail… he wanted something new too… Kadrin had noticed earlier and told him the Forges were on the bottom levels and half the Dwarves in his unit had blacksmithing experience. He was promised the most finely adorned heavy plate armour and any weapon he wanted.

Maro was sipping on his wine skin while watching the slow unstoppable forward march of the Dwarves proceed. Next to him Gnarlo was just getting drunk just to not be completely bored, once in a while he would try to throw a rock at the Goblins only to hit a Dwarf in the helmet and disappear before they looked back. 

The cadence of Stab Stab Step, Stab Stab Step was playing over and over in their minds. His honour prevented him from ever leaving a battle he was part of, but he heavily contemplated leaving to go to the elves or to bring them with him at the back of the war party…

Just as he was about to take another swig, a huge commotion came from the goblin lines.

"Hobgoblins" the dwarves yelled in anger

Just as big and beefy as dwarves, they were a bigger problem… but they were unarmoured for the most part and were easier targets for the Gnomish crossbow teams. Not too big of a problem yet. They couldn't pierce dwarven armour… this would just slow down their progress even more.

Then a huge boulder smashed into the back of the goblins and rolled into the dwarf line to brace themselves. 

"Earth Magic!" Kadrin yelled.

Fuck a class unlock that wasn't a warrior, he pointed to the rock pushing a hole in the line and instructed his swordsmen.

"Plug it"

Activating Bloodrush, he took off sprinting. He had to take care of the mage, they had none of their own.

Just then a fireball blew up into the back of the goblins again, tearing them apart and pushing the dwarves back a little… Fucking magic resistance too, their armour was too strong, what the hell.

Okay Earth mage first, they could mess up their front line the most. 

He got to the line and jumped over the dwarves and goblins, wielding his greatsword, he swung it in arcs… holy energy emanating from each strike, burning every goblin sliced.

There were two Hobgoblin mages 50 meters behind the line… one fire and one earth magic… he couldn't tell which was which so he ran to them slicing goblins and hobgoblins apart while waiting for the next cast.

The fat hobgoblin covered in robes started to magically gather earth above his head to create a new giant rock projectile. 

Too many people in his way, he wouldn't reach in time… would Vanguard Charge work with all the goblin fucks in the way.

He didn't have time to think about it

[Vanguard Charge]

He blew apart the ground beneath his feet as he charged forward holding his sword out front. He sliced through the bodies of Goblins and Hobgoblins alike…

But the crowd slowed him down… and he didn't reach the Earth mage in time. As the giant boulder flew his way, his momentum was too powerful to turn his charge… he braced himself and swung his sword like a baseball bat at the projectile.

Booooom! An explosion of sparks and shrapnel.

Maro's greatsword shattered, he was absolutely peppered with shrapnel from being up close. His shitty chain mail and leather armour was shredded.

For good measure, the god damn fire mage launched a fireball where the explosion happened. Not a direct hit but, whatever was left of his chainmail was completely born apart…

Maro stood up in the middle of the debris field… Both the Goblin army and his own stopped and stared for what seemed an eternity.

There was no way any class would be able to handle that artillery straight to the face without multiple barriers, not including the follow up fireball. 

Despite that, his strategy worked… So far in this world Combat mages acted as a sort of artillery… he took two powerful aoe explosions alone. Which saved multiple Dwarf lives… they all knew what he did for them…

The holes that were peppering his body, started emitting steam.

Bleeding, concussed and overall in horrible shape, he knew he was out of the fight. So he did the only thing he had energy left to do [Warcry]... 

However he did not expect what came out, he couldn't hear the sound he was making… because his ears were still ringing from the fireball blowing up so close to him. As the last of his energy left, he promptly passed out.

Kadrin, his Dwarves, Maro, his Gnomes and his Human swordsmen he had fought with for weeks non stop… they all lost their collective shit.

They turned into berserking monsters… All the Dwarves dropped their spears and took out their axes. The line broke as all the Dwarves and humans charged forward in an absolute frenzy, they had almost cleared the floor… just to the end of this corridor and they could secure this floor.

The axes were a personal touch, each goblin skull crushed with an axe felt like it made up for how they were living as a race the last couple hundred years. 

The slow and steady woodchipper turned into many individual chainsaws. 

The warcry had severely stunned and scared the Goblins… combined with the renewed ferocity of his men… it turned into a rout. The two hobgoblin mages were skewered by cross bow bolts, goblins and hobgoblins were throwing weaker allies behind them to slow the enemies advance for a second.

Skulls were crushed, limbs were cut off.

Once his men passed where Maro was laying, Kadrin ordered two men to take him upstairs to get healed. 

The rout continued.