Chapter 8 - 1.7 The Budding of an Obsession

Chen Yu knew that Yang Yuling studied English to pave the way for her future studies, while he studied it almost entirely to increase his chances of interacting with her. It was during these precious moments that he began to paint countless pictures of success in his mind: wearing a decent suit, sitting in a spacious and bright office, earning a salary of several thousand yuan a month, becoming the pride of his parents and the envy of the villagers. More importantly, if he could find a high-paying job, could he improve his family's predicament? Could he gain the courage to confess his feelings to Yang Yuling? Perhaps if they met again in the future, would he be worthy of her, a bachelor's degree holder?He often fantasized like this. The images were so clear, so alluring, as if he could reach out and touch them with just a little effort.But reality dealt him a heavy blow. It turned out that a junior college diploma was far from enough; one also needed connections, background, experience, and countless other things he did not possess.Chen Yu's resume did state "capable of daily oral communication in English," the sole fruit of his three years of practice with Yang Yuling at the English Corner. But he soon discovered that this basic level of English gave him no competitive advantage in the job market at all. For positions requiring English skills, employers either directly demanded English majors or those with a background in business English, even requiring proficiency in handling English documents and conducting business negotiations. His level, which was only suitable for daily conversation, could easily be replaced by any English major."We need someone who can independently handle English emails and business documents," an HR manager at a foreign trade company once told him. "Your English level is only entry-level."This made Chen Yu deeply aware of his shortcomings. Even what he was most proud of, his only connection to Yang Yuling—his English ability—seemed so insignificant in the real world of job competition.Chen Yu thought with a bitter smile: If only I had been exposed to business English back then, or had majored in English, maybe I could have had a chance to get a higher salary at a multinational company? Unfortunately, my family's financial situation was limited at the time, so I could only choose a major with relatively cheaper tuition. How could I dare to dream of those popular majors?He was truly unwilling to accept this, unwilling to just go into a factory and spend the rest of his life repeating the same actions on an assembly line day after day, like a soulless automaton. He was unwilling to accomplish nothing and end up completely unworthy of the girl he liked. Even more, he was unwilling to let his family continue to live in poverty, to let his parents' hopes turn to dust.Whenever he was rejected, what appeared in his mind was not only the image of facing his parents' disappointed eyes but also the beautiful profile of Yang Yuling as she focused on her studies. He would subconsciously clench his fists, repeatedly telling himself: "When I succeed, when I can stand confidently before her, I absolutely must..." This longing for love, mixed with an urgent desire to escape poverty, became a burning, almost twisted obsession, causing him to lose all due to vigilance towards any bait that looked like an opportunity."I have to find a decent job first," Chen Yu gritted his teeth. "No matter how hard it is, I can't give up.""Maybe I'm destined to be crushed into dust by this city," he had thought more than once. "Maybe I should just go back home and farm."But this thought was quickly overruled by another voice: "Escape? Give up? Is that your choice?"He thought of his university roommate, Zhang Wei, whose family owned a small factory in the county town. Zhang Wei had already found a job in the city through his father's connections before graduation. And there was Li Ming from the same class, whose uncle was a bank director and had long been pre-selected for a position. As for him, a boy from the countryside, he had nothing but this diploma."It's true that we rural kids have it harder than the city kids," Chen Yu thought bitterly. But then he remembered what the old party secretary in his village often said: "Only by enduring the bitterest of hardships can one rise above others."The thought of his father's expectant eyes, of his family selling their plow bull and going into debt to send him to school, made him clench his jaw again. No, he couldn't just give up. This wasn't just a personal failure; it was a betrayal of his entire family's hopes.It was 1997, the country's economy was developing so fast, construction was everywhere, and talent was needed everywhere. He refused to believe that with his efforts and this diploma, he couldn't find a job."Just hold on a little longer, there will be an opportunity," Chen Yu encouraged himself once more.